Phase 12: Don't touch me!

*Location: The Hazbin Hotel

*Time: Somewhere around Noonish

Charlie:"It took awhile for us to come to terms with what happened, but…Eventually we moved on, but the thing that made it the most difficult; was that the big guy…wasn't even BOTHERED by it, those words he said…They really stuck with us since that day."

Husk:"'I've killed bigger and worse than you'…The fuck's that mean?"

Octavia:"Asking the wrong chick."

Vi:"Probably what it sounds like, he's killed bigger and badder enemies than that Angel."

Octavia:"Are you sure that thing was an Angel? Sounded more like some kind of alien robot."

Charlie:"I don't know what it was, but it kept referring to itself as an Angel and the Exorcists…They were afraid of it, like in a 'it drastically outranked them' sort of way. And the way it took their lives so effortlessly and without remorse…"

Vi:"Sounds like the Doomguy did justice by killing that guy."

Husk:"Isn't that thing still alive though? He said he had multiple bodies right, How long till he just gets a new one?"

(Vega is shown to be recording the whole thing and playing it out to everyone in the vehicle with the Slayer.

*Location: The Private Army Reserve of Hell

Shocked expressions fall upon the Doom Marine as conversation continues as Charlie says "I think he already got it, but I doubt he's coming down here anytime soon." but despite the eavesdrop discussion continued, the group eventually ignored the ongoing talk as they began to bombard the Slayer with comments and questions. The first one to speak is Moxxie.)

Moxxie:"That was YOU!? You- saved my life! I owe you everything."

Vaggie:"Hey, you heard the recording, he didn't do it for any favors, he did it because he knew what was happening was wrong."

Millie:"Well whether you want it or not, thank you for saving my Husband."

(Millie said as she stood and then stretched to the Slayer's head as she kissed the side of his visor, The Marine just glanced back, apathetic towards the reward.)

Angel:"Did you seriously skip out on your chance to leave this dump just so the Purges could stop? You really believe Blondie's goal THAT much?"

(The Slayer just stared at Angel after his question, as if he was fully aware that Angel knew what answer he would've given. Vaggie tilts her head towards Angel as she kept her focus on the road but asks "Does him wailing on that thing not give you your answer?" as she tilts her head back to its original position and continues to drive to their destination.)

Vega:"I would like to know more about your reasoning for your actions, but I'm afraid we must save it for another time. We are approaching the Military base and must focus on the task at hand."

(Vega says as the gang make a turn and are in sight of the military base containing the last part they need. The Military truck they hid in pulled up as a Soldier in Hellish military fatigues approaches the driver's window, Vaggie and Moxxie speak to maintain their cover, though Vaggie does a much better job of keeping her cool than the later.)

Soldier:"Name and Rank!"

Vaggie:"Jaurez, Agatha. First Class Drill Sergeant, I came to train the greenies."

(Moxxie was shivering at this, Vaggie eventually tapped him on the shoulder to incite him to speak.)

Moxxie:"M-Moxxie… Sir! I'm a…Uh…"

Vaggie:"He's a recruit, he's my Nephew actually, Sister enlisted him just yesterday so credentials haven't gone through yet."

Soldier:"You're sister's an Imp?"

Vaggie:"Adopted thank you, I'm not exactly fond of her either but family is family."

Soldier:"Acknowledged! I'll radio Stross and let him know you made it."

(The gate to the base opens and the truck drives in, as they drove through the military site, Moxxie and Blitzo questioned Vaggie on her 'experience' with the military.)

Moxxie:"How'd you lie so easily?"

Blitzo:"And how the fuck did you know the lingo these jar heads used?"

Angel:"Yeah, I Thought you died in a Mexican shootout or something."

Vaggie:"First off, Fuck you! I didn't DIE in a shootout and Even if I did, I wouldn't tell you how I died. Second, who do you think I got that lingo from?"

(As everyone turns their attention to the former Marine as he remains hunched over to fit in the vehicle.

Meanwhile, the gang continued through the base as they attempted to find a spot to park and sneak through to the lower levels that contained the labs. Once they found a place that was far enough away from the soldiers present, Moxxie and Vaggie got out and headed towards the back as they lifted the curtain that hid the remaining gang that hid within. They each one by one sneak out and past many of the guards in the area, once they find a door that leads to the interior of the Base, they shut it and begin to estimate their window of time.)

Vaggie:"Okay, I don't know who this Stross guy is, but something tells me he's not gonna be too happy that I impersonated a soldier and snuck into their base. So we need to get this magnet and leave before they check in with their CO."

Moxxie:"CO?"

Vega:"Commanding Officer, they are the ones that all soldiers present report to, upon death the second in command assumed control of the position."

Angel:"How big's the Moon Wikipedia?"

Vega:"The Moon has a radius of approximately 1,079.4 miles…Why do you ask?"

Angel:"Because my friend Sarcasm was curious."

Vega:"I am unfamiliar with…Oh…I understand now."

Angel:"Let's go Hal & Hulk!"

(The Marine follows the group as they continue through the base, as they check the doors one by one, they eventually find one that reads "Cool, Experimental shit" and quickly snuck inside to examine it further.

They one by one, pass through the doorway, all except for Moxxie, who was spotted by one of the patrolling soldiers. The soldier shouted "HEY!" causing Moxxie to scream in horror, but the Soldier approached him as they asked "The fuck are you doing down here Private? We got basic upstairs! Come on!" as they grab Moxxie's wrist and drag him to the surface with the rest of the recruit soldiers.

Inside was like a sci-fi horror scene, it was practically pitch black and the only lights were that of electric sparks and luminescent chemicals. Millie was astonished as she saw jars full of weird creatures, getting stranger than the last. She eventually saw one with what looked like an Angler fish that wore goggles, her curiosity got the better of her as she grabbed the jar with the Angler fish and tried to examine it further, only the Jar was empty and the goggled Angler fish was behind the Jar she just removed. Millie was caught off guard by this and screamed, which caused a small screaming match between the two.)

Millie:"Ah!-"

?:"AH!-"

Millie:"Aah!-"

?:"AAAAAHH!"

Millie:"Hey Baxter!"

Baxter:"AH! Millie!"

(The Angler fish rushes from behind his hiding spot and approaches the group, he wore a lab coat and appeared to be a scientist at the location they operated in.)

"Why are you Here!? Who are your friends?…Why is that one Green!?"

(As he points a sharp finger at the Slayer in fear and astonishment, Millie glances at the Brute behind her and waves her hands to calm him down.)

Millie:"Oh he's a friend of mine, he's from another Universe and his home is under attack, In fact it's kinda why we're here."

Baxter:"You too!? How many foreigners are we going to have!?"

(Vaggie showing an annoyed expression by this comment, places her hands on her hips.)

Vaggie:"Excuse me?"

(Baxter sighs and turns his head to the other end of the room as he shouts "Jerry! How long are you going to be in there!?" causing the group to focus their attention to the distant door Baxter was screaming at.

The door opened and out came a man covered head to to in Armor of unknown origin, his armor was like stainless steel and had a greenish-Teal fabric underneath the metal parts, he had a helmet that looked simple in design like a Welder's helmet and wore a visor made of green glass that hid his eyes from the group. It was hard to tell what he looked like since no part of his skin was shown, the Armor and Fabric undersuit concealed all of his body.

The Armored man stepped out and shouted "What?! I was taking a dump dude! You said I could have a bathroom break!" as he approached the group with crossed arms and an agitated tone of voice.

Baxter gestured towards the Armored man as he explained "This is Jerry, he's a soldier from another Universe…Much like your friend there!" as he begins to sink his head into his shoulders and look at the Marine with a paranoid expression. Jerry greets himself as he states "My name's Trevor…Mnwhat's yours?" as he walks away from the others, having made a reference to a video. As he leaves, Baxter explains the odd introduction as he states "Don't mind that, apparently a lot of people like to Meme from his dimension." as he turns to the gang and proceeds to ask further questions.)

Baxter:"So! Why are you all here?"

Millie:"We need a Magnet to finish a portal to get Big guy Home!"

Baxter:"You're in Luck!"

(Baxter says as he gestures the group to follow him, he takes them to a massive door that opens horizontally and has several mechanical locks on it, he heads to a panel full of levers and buttons that is located near the door and fiddles with them while Jerry puts an insta-meal in the microwave

As the mad looking scientist proceeds to enter an access code, Moxxie notices something nearby in the corner, a small crate with the letters "UUSF" painted on the side of the futuristic metal box.)

Moxxie:"What's the 'UUSF'?"

Baxter:"From what little Jerry was permitted to tell me, they're a bunch of dicks from another dimension, much like your friend there. Apparently they traverse alternate realities and fix whatever might be wrong with them. Supposedly they are augmented super soldiers that are trained in every aspect to be dangerous killing machines."

(An explosion is heard in the background as the room slightly lights up, immediately followed by a "Heads Up!" from Jerry as a piece of sharp metal from the microwave flies through the air and towards the Hellhound Loona who was completely oblivious to the flying projectile heading towards her as she was on her phone. She is saved by the Slayer who rushes in and holds his arm out to stop the piece of shrapnel, it pierced his arm, causing it to bleed as Loona looks up to see what nearly took her head off. She looks up and notices the metal shard sticking out of the Marine's arm and simply mutters "Uh…Thanks…" as she was wide eyed and still trying to comprehend what just happened, all she did know is that the Brute saved her from having her skull pierced by the flying metal fragment.)

Millie:"Well I can definitely see the dangerous killing machine part."

(Millie says as the Slayer pulls the sharp object from his arm, a gush of blood squirts out and drops to the floor and is accompanied by the shrapnel the Marine had just removed. Baxter shouts at the Armored Soldier "I told you to stop putting incendiary grenades in with your meals! It won't…make them…cook…faster…" Baxter slowly begins to lose focus of his sentence as he witnesses the Slayer's arm heal almost instantly, he then looks down and notices the blood on the shard acting strange as it drips off the sharp metal. The door opens and the gang walks in, but the last one to enter was Baxter as he grabbed the shrapnel with blood on it and placed it into a test tube for later research.

As they fill out the room Baxter opened to them, Jerry leans in and apologizes as he explains "Sorry 'bout that! I promise it might not happen again-probably…I'm just gonna go out into the hall and grab a snack from the vending machine. BRB!" as he leaves the lab altogether. Baxter scoffs "Whatever!" as he gestures his arms across the room and shows the group the project he was working on as he explained "THIS! Is the Ultra-Magnet! I spent months working on it, it is the culmination of science and physics! It has enough newtons of force to tear apart steel bars!" as the group gazes upon the massive Magnet. The group gazed in awe as they witnessed the massive device, Vaggie breaks the "Oohs' and 'Awes" of the group as she asks "Great, is there any chance we could borrow it?" Causing Baxter to snap from the pride of his work on the device and protest.)

Baxter:"What!? NO! You can't borrow it! Aside from the fact that it's a Bitch to move at all, I'm not lending it to some cluster of weirdos I just met!"

Millie:"Pleeeeeeease! We promise we'll return it!"

Angel:"Speak for yourself!"

Baxter:"Absolutely not!"

Vaggie:"Dude, an entire dimension is being threatened by an army of Unholy Nightmares and you wanna tell me you can't just lend it to us for one day?"

Baxter:"Of course not! What would I even have to gain out of it?!"

Vega:"Then perhaps a trade would be in order?"

Baxter:"…Perhaps…What do you have in mind?"

Vega:"I have several years of data that the UAC has accumulated on the Night Sentinels and the advanced technology and weaponry they've developed."

Baxter:"Anything more tangible?"

Millie:"How about a Harmonica?"

Baxter:"…No."

Blitzo(Through a Megaphone):"How about a Megaphone!"

Baxter:"NO! Loud noises disrupt my work!"

(Baxter says as he curls up from the mere sight of the megaphone, Angel then leans and seductively places his arm around the Angler Scientist.)

Angel:"How 'bout a good time with yours truly?"

(Baxter hisses "Don't touch me!" at the proposition, prompting Angel to take several steps back with an annoyed expression, next to him was Vaggie who was smiling from the rejection and reaction alone. Angel thought for a moment until he finally came up with something that he figured every mad Scientist would want.)

Angel:"How 'bout a nuke?"

Vaggie:"Angel!?"

Baxter:"Go on!"

Angel:"A freshly hijacked Nuke, all yours…G men don't need to know and it'll be fresh and ready for you to do whatever you want to it."

Vaggie:"Angel!"

Baxter:"Deal!"

(Baxter says as he opens the door of the room that possesses the magnetic device, meanwhile Vaggie pulls Angel aside and speaks with him in whispers.)

Vaggie:"What the fuck are you thinking!? We NEED that Nuke!"

Angel:"We need the radioactive waste in it, right? We take it out, give him the Nuke, everyone's happy!"

Vaggie:"And if he fires it at someone or somePLACE!?"

Angel:"Even if he did, it's not gonna go off and by the time he realizes it's been neutered, we'll already have big guy back home. No one CAN get hurt and everyone gets what was promised."

Vaggie:"…You BETTER be right about this!"

Angel:"That's the weirdest way someone said 'You're right, you're a fucking genius!' anyone has ever said to me."

(Vaggie did not wish to admit it, but Angel WAS right about this idea, everyone gets what they want and no one could get hurt in the process. Vaggie and Angel begin to join the others to remove the Device from it's holding place, but Vaggie is called aside by Baxter as he is shown to be looking through a microscope and at the metal shard that was jammed through the Slayer's bicep.)

Baxter:"You there, woman with mental issues!"

Vaggie:"The fuck you just call me?"

Baxter:"This concerns you about your friend! You must see this!"

(He moves to the side and gestures to her to look into the microscope, it shows a blood sample of the Marine that it originated from but…it kept reverting itself to the exact moment before, like everytime a second passed…the blood cells skip back to the second before. Vaggie is confused by what she is looking at and is told by Baxter what the blood cells are doing.)

Baxter:"His blood cells aren't right! He's aging only 1 second over and over again! It's like he's not permitted to age any further!"

Vaggie:"What?!…What does that even mean?"

Baxter:"It means something is stopping him from aging! For all we know, this process could last forever…If he could die before, he definitely can't now! He's Immortal!"

Vaggie:"How's that possible?"

Baxter:"I don't know, but something outside of the varying dimensions that make up our universe must've intervened! He's not flowing 4th dimensionally!"

Vaggie:"Now say that to a person who DOESN'T have a PHD in Physics."

Baxter:"You fool! Don't you get it…The very line that every organism travels that IS the 4th dimension known as time, something stopped his track of it, it kicked his state of being that inhabited that line of 4th dimensional time, he's outside of it, therefor-"

Vaggie:"He's outside of Time altogether, he can't Age!"

Baxter:"Don't Interrupt me!…But yes…I must study this man further! I MUST KNOW MORE!"

Vaggie:"Woah-woah-woah, calm down. I don't think he's the type of guy that likes to be studied!"

Baxter:"Nothing will stop me from learning the universal secrets!"

Vaggie:"…Alright, But uh…Good luck getting near him with a needle of any sort."

(She says as Baxter looks to see the Slayer rip open a coupler that he saw withstand 7 tons of force. His eyes grow wide as he puts away the needle he intended to use and just decided to stick to his theory until it is disproven.)

Baxter:"I'll just stick to my initial theories until they're disproven."

Vaggie:"I don't think that will be necessary, I have an idea on what…or more accurately WHO made him Immortal."

(Meanwhile, the UUSF soldier was out in the hallway as he was getting a snack from a vending machine, he inserted a quarter with a string attached and tried to steal a snack from it. Unfortunately his concentration on not losing the coin is interrupted as Moxxie rushes down the stairs and towards the sci-fi soldier, he was wheezing and pointing in a panic matter towards to the outside, but no matter how much he breathed or how much the Agent asked him to calm down, he passed out and fell to the floor. Jerry then picked him up from the floor and carried him to the others in the lab to gain help for the Hitman.

He approached the others holding the unconscious Imp and tried to gain their attention. Upon sight of her fainted husband, Millie rushed to Moxxie and picked him up in her arms as she shouted his name. Blitzo questions The Agent, who then explained what happened to the best of his ability.)

Millie:"Moxxie!"

Blitzo:"The fuck happened to him?"

Jerry:"I don't know, but he came rushing down stairs and was wheezing while pointing to the outside like the apocalypse was happening! I didn't hear anything outside either so I rushed to you guys ASAP."

Baxter:"Nothing?"

Angel:"Isn't that a good thing? Maybe he's just tuckered out from basic bitch training so much."

Baxter:"No…If there is no sound out there, then that means there were no vehicles or drill sergeants…Meaning-"

Vega:"Demonic presence detected!…Threat level 5!"