Welcome back! This week, we will finish the Plumpbelly Village arc. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Paper Mario belongs to Nintendo and Intelligent Systems.
Chapter 11: The Serpent Sin of Envy
Plumpbelly Village
Preparations for the raid on Hizza's lair were underway. Many soldiers were preparing themselves with dressing up in armor, a thing they weren't used to doing. Meanwhile, Luigi was busy dressing up in a small dress he and Sherri bought from the merchant village that was nearby. Lastly, Jerry was busy going over strategies on how to defeat Hizza in his head. With his father resting, he had to rely on himself to lead the village to victory. He walked back and forth, talking out loud over various strategies. "Should we corner him?" He shook his head. "No. He could just slip by us. Ugh! This is so hard!"
"You OK, son?" Sherri entered the room. "Worried about the raid?"
He nodded. "Yes! I've never done something like this before and this is stressing me out! I can't come up with a well thought-out strategy to defeat Hizza! Everyone's counting on me, but it's so hard! How the heck does father even manage this level of stress?"
"You know, even though your father has never fought before, his first years were very tough. He didn't know a single thing about leading until his parents guided him. Your father meant to do the same thing, but things were turned upside down ever since he contracted the disease. Now these are the current situations he and you have to live with. To be honest, if I did have combat advice, I would give it to you, but I'm empty. This is something you're gonna have to face on your own, but you have friends."
"Like the green guy and his blooper?"
She nodded. "Yes. You can do this. You must have the courage to face Hizza. You can defeat him. I know you can, and so does your father." Jerry sighed. He didn't want to let Barry down, but it was so hard to focus with everything happening at once. "Hey," she said. "I have a little something that'll cheer you up. Come on down!"
Jerry glanced at the staircase as a person walked down the steps. He dropped his jaw. "How do I look?" Luigi was decked in an all-out white dress with a silk veil hanging behind his head. He had makeup on his eyes, lips, and every part of the face. A white and silky cloth was wrapped around his mouth to hide his mustache. He even wore a brunette wig and huge eyelashes! The look made the Bob-omb look away. He flashed his eyes at Jerry. "Do I look cute? Or is sexy the right word?"
"Mom!" he groaned. "Really?!"
"You didn't answer my question, cutie. Do I look sexy?"
"You make me wanna puke."
The plumber laughed. "Then it'll work for sure!"
Blooey entered the house, his mouth agape when he saw Luigi. "Dumbo! Since when did you have a feminine side to you? You look pathetic!"
Jerry sighed. "Thank you! Finally, someone agrees with me!"
"I wasn't talking to you, pipsqueak," the blooper said. "I was talking to the dumbo."
"My name isn't pipsqueak. It's Jerry!"
Luigi sighed. "Don't even bother. It's his weird way of bonding. Where have you been, Blooey?"
He crossed his arms. "Looking for my parents. Duh. I'm not here for sightseeing. Mind telling me why you're decked for a wedding? You're getting married? To whom?"
"No one," Luigi sarcastically remarked back. "We're gonna stop Hizza. Wanna come?"
"That snake guy who thinks he's God? Sure. This place is boring, anyway. Let me guess. Pipsqueak's gonna lead us. Oh no. We're all doomed."
"Hey!" Jerry hissed. "I'm gonna try my best! Don't go judging me!"
"No offense, but you have no experience. Where's Daddy-o? Can't he lead?"
The Bob-omb sighed. "My father's out of commission. I have to do this."
"I can't leave him, either," Sherri said. "Jerry's the only one in the village who can lead the group."
Blooey shrugged. "Fine. Just don't let me play the babysitting game. That'll be boring and I ain't your mother. When do we leave?"
"We should leave now," Luigi said. "If we have any chance at beating him, it's now. I'll keep him distracted as I have before. This experience is gonna become handy."
"Yeah, just don't let it get in your head, dumbo. We don't need you becoming a fully-fledged woman now."
He wiggled his eyebrows at him as he said with a smile and narrowed eyes, "Course I won't, honey."
Jerry shoved him. "Get a move-on!" Luigi laughed and the three left the house. Jerry sighed. This plan was gonna work. He had faith in himself. He was gonna stop Hizza and make Barry proud.
Night time started to set on the horizon as the group marched over to Hizza's lair. Jerry's legs trembled. With his father not here to support him, he felt genuine worry for his life. One false move and it could be the end of him. He's never risked his life to this extent. Could he do it? He didn't know. In the distance stood a large black and brown castle with torches on the front. It was Hizza's lair. "Hey, pipsqueak." Blooey walked to him. "What's your plan? Are we gonna charge in? Or should we try sneaking our way in and killing him?"
"I… I…"
"Blooey," Luigi said, "Just leave him be. The plan is I get you guys inside and you attack him. It's that simple."
The blooper snorted. "Really? That's it? You know something's not gonna go to plan. What's the slip-up? Does he have a plan b? What if that plan doesn't work? Just making sure that we have all our bases covered."
"Look, I don't know, OK?" Jerry hissed. "I've never done this before. I don't know what I'm doing. Just let's play this by ear, OK?"
Blooey shrugged. "If you say so, captain. It's your call, not mine."
"How about we get-a inside the lair first? Then we can come up with something. Sounds fair, yes?" Jerry nodded to Luigi's statement. Blooey snorted, but went with it, anyway. As the group hid behind bushes, Luigi approached the big wooden door and knocked. It opened, revealing Hizza as he gazed at Luigi in confusion.
He scratched his head with his tail. "You're the sacrifice? Where's the little girl I asked for? Is she not here?"
"They supplied me, Sir Hizza," Luigi said in his best girly voice he could provide.
"Why? My conditions-"
"They know them, but shouldn't the sacrifice be someone a bit bigger? She's only like five or six."
"Are you a resident, then?"
"A traveling one. I rarely visit."
"But you had perfect timing," the snake deduced. "I'm sorry, but your timing is a little too perfect." He gripped him by the neck. "Tell me where the real girl is. Now." Luigi wheezed. Hizza huffed. "As I thought. This was a trick. The whole village is dead. You will pass that message on." He threw him across the ground. "I knew they shouldn't be trusted."
"Sir! Wait!" The snake paused. This wasn't another one of his tricks, was it? "Let me explain! Look. I'm not from around here, but I'm a big fan!" Hizza chuckled.
"A big fan, you say? How interesting. If you are such a fan, then tell me. What is the one thing that I do to my sacrifices before they die? The true trivia question the ultimate fan should know the answer to, yes?"
Luigi bit his lip. He didn't know. He just made a complete guess that seemed sound enough. "You give them your blessing."
The snake rolled his eyes. "Clearly you don't know more than you think. You're wasting my time."
"I wanna achieve enlightenment!" Hizza rolled his eyes. "Sir, I've been traveling around the world to reach some sort of enlightenment. Please, teach me. I wanna know what it feels like to reach into the heavens and find freedom in my suffering. Please. Show me."
Hizza chuckled. In all of the villages the snake has been to, he has never run across someone so dedicated to him before. "Would you be willing to die for me?"
"If it helps me with me reaching enlightenment, then yes." He bowed. "Help me reach enlightenment."
The snake sighed. "Very well. I suppose the village will be spared this time because you're so eager. Next time, they won't be so lucky." Jerry sighed with relief. "Now, come, Miss-"
"Gina. Gina Winsborough."
"Very well. Come, Miss Winsborough." They entered the lair. Luigi kicked off one of his high heel shoes, which confused everyone as the doors closed behind them. "So, Miss Winsborough," Hizza said, "Why do you want to reach enlightenment? You seem very young. Don't you value your life?"
"Well, I-" Luigi fell to the ground.
"Miss Winsborough!"
"I'm fine." He stood up. "Oh no. One of my shoes fell off. Let me get it real quick. I'll be back."
Hizza snorted. "Nonsense. You'll trip and fall again. I'll retrieve it for-"
"I'll be quick! I promise!" He ran down the hallway.
The snake sighed. "Be quick. No stalling!"
Luigi ran out the door and grabbed his shoe. "Come on, guys," he said in his normal voice. "I'm creating you an opportunity to get inside."
Blooey smirked. "Kicking off your shoe to get us inside. Pretty smart, dumbo." Luigi smiled and opened the door, the others following behind him as they stayed in the dark as the doors closed. Luigi ran to Hizza at the end of the hall. The others crept slowly while keeping out of sight of the snake's line of sight.
"I'm back, Sir Hizza! I hope I didn't keep you waiting!"
He shook his head. "No. You were light on your feet. Not used to heels, aren't you?" Luigi nodded. "Well, let's get on with the ceremony. Follow me." He led him down the hallway where it merged into a big room. A small fountain stood on the side. Pictures of the snake were hung on the walls. "Welcome to my chamber. Here is where the ceremony will take place. First, I want you to go into the water. There's something that must be done before you're sacrificed." Luigi nodded and entered the pool, the chilling water making him shiver. "Good. The first part of the ritual is to cleanse you of all your impurities. When you are sacrificed to me, your soul will become one with mine. Any impurity will disrupt the process. You will say an oath of allegiance to me, then I will baptize you. Do you understand?" He nodded. "Good. Now, repeat after me. I, Gina Winsborough."
"I, Gina Winsborough."
"Will give my body and soul to you."
"Will give my body and soul to you."
"To give you strength."
"To give you strength."
"To reach eternal life."
"To reach eternal life."
Hizza smiled. "Very good, my child. I, Hizza, deem you worthy as my sacrifice. You shall now be purified!" He grabbed the plumber's head and dipped him in the water. He sat up, coughing. Jerry winced as he and the other stood behind a pillar. "Very good! Now, come. It's time for you to reach your enlightenment!" Luigi stepped out of the water. He glanced at the snake's fangs and reared a little. "Honey," the snake said, "Don't be scared. When you die, you will reach the heavens. There, you will reach your enlightenment and I will use your provided strength to wipe out everyone at Plumpbelly Village!" Luigi gasped on the inside. "I know they're planning something. They decided to send you so they can attack me when my guard is down. I see through their plan like glass. They won't last much longer. I shall destroy every last one of them and everyone will become a sacrifice!"
"S-Sir, there's no need to-"
"You dare object to me?!" Hizza hissed in his face. "I'm your ruler! You gave me an oath! You submit to me! They went against it! They shall soon pay the price! You committed to the sacrifice. You're nothing but an insecure girl who had a rough childhood. Everyone mocked and hated you and you don't view any value of your life. That's why you want enlightenment a.k.a a way to die from this planet peacefully, and I'll happily grant that request. However, that doesn't give you the right to object to my ruling. I rule over you, not the other way around. Now, bow to me!" Luigi nodded and bowed. "Good. Remember your place when you leave this earth, you impudent worm. I shall rule over all this planet even if it takes me a lifetime. People will acknowledge me and grant me any wish I want! This is the future! No one shall stop me! Now that your objection is done, it's time to get to the juicy part of the ceremony: your death. As you die, your soul will feed into mine, strengthening me in body and soul as outlined in the oath. Now, prepare to die a swift death, my sweet puppet!"
As Hizza was giving his rant to Luigi, Jerry was panicking. Luigi was mere moments away from a second death attempt from the snake and the Bob-omb had no plan to stop him. "Pipsqueak." Blooey walked to him. "Got any plans?"
"I don't know. Maybe throw me at him?"
Blooey snorted. "Clearly, you don't remember what happened last time. You almost killed the dumbo. Got any better ideas?"
"No!" Jerry hissed. "Since you think you're so smart, then why don't you come up with an idea instead of breathing down my neck every five seconds?!"
"You think I know?"
"Well, you're always showing off that condescending attitude. How about you do something for a change?"
"Mr. Jerry," a Bob-omb said. "If I may suggest a tidbit that might help in this situation."
"Please. Anything!"
He nodded. "Of course. Did you know you have the power to direct how much powder goes into your system? You can manually control your powder in your system for a brief moment by cutting off the flow after a certain amount. After that, you fuse like normal, creating a smaller explosion."
"That sounds good and all," Blooey said, "But I don't know. Pipsqueak here was very reckless. It was what caused us to be in this problem. Remember?" He turned to the Bob-omb. "You do remember what you did, yes? Or are you too scared to rectify yourself?"
Jerry shook his head. "No. I wanna redeem myself. That's why you should throw me at him. I wanna prove to my father what I'm capable of. Let me save him, properly this time. Please, Blooey." He sighed. Jerry had a caring heart. The blooper knew that. He just hated him for being so reckless.
"OK, pipsqueak. Please promise me one thing: don't kill the dumbo. I have plans of my own for him."
He nodded. "I won't." Blooey grabbed the Bob-omb.
"Be very careful, Mr. Jerry," the other Bob-omb said. "You mustn't cut off the flow for too long or else you will face devastating side-effects."
"I know." He narrowed his eyes. "I will save his life! Blooey, throw me at him!" The blooper nodded and threw the Bob-omb in the air. A small fuse sparked on his head as he flew towards Hizza. He flew into his face and managed to produce a small explosion that was enough to get Luigi free from the snake's grasp.
Luigi rolled on the ground. "I'm alive!"
Jerry jumped in the air. "I did it!"
The others ran to him. Blooey smirked. "Not bad, pipsqueak. Turns out you do learn from your mistakes."
"But you aren't done." Hizza sat up. He smirked. "So, it turns out my intuition wasn't wrong after all. I shall start with a proper greeting!" He jumped in the air to get closer to everyone. "Hello, my soon-to-be sacrifices! Welcome to my lair! I would give you a tour, but you're uninvited guests! This shall be your final resting place!"
Jerry was shaken out of his wits. He didn't know whether to run or fight. He shook his head. He was doing it for Barry! "No! Mr. Hizza, you will no longer harass my people! Your torture ends now!"
Hizza chuckled as he bent down to get a closer look at the Bob-omb. "And who might you be, boy?" He gasped. "Yes! You are the boy who saved the green man's life. Actually, you did a pathetic job. You somehow managed to almost kill him instead! Oh, the irony is so funny! So, tell me, boy. Where is Barry? I have a personal grudge to settle with him tonight."
"That's none of your business."
The snake shook his head. "So, Barry is out of commission? How sad. I was looking forward to having him sacrificed, but I guess you will have to do. I guess I can torture Barry by showing him your lifeless corpses!"
"Don't you dare torture my father!" Blooey held the Bob-omb back as he almost lunged at the snake.
He chuckled. "You're Barry's son? Well, this is an interesting revelation. Barry is out of commission, so he sends his son in his stead? Give me a break! You're nothing! You're weak and pathetic! If your father has so much confidence in sending his only begotten son to fight me, then he must possess such worthy qualities. Well, let's see what you're made of!" He lunged at the Bob-omb. He screamed and ran out of the way of the snarling fangs. "I'm quite amused! The only skill you possess is being a coward! Show me more! Entertain me, my peasant!" Luigi jumped and kicked him back. Hizza stood up. "You! You were the one who opposed me the first time we met!"
"Did you miss me?" Luigi replied with a smirk as he put on his cap he had in his pocket. The dress had rips and dirt on the sides.
"I shall drain you of all of that cockiness!" The snake tried to whack him with his tail, but the plumber rolled to the side and jumped to whack him in the face once more. While he was dizzy, Blooey joined in the fight and used his White Torpedo move to further damage him.
He joined the plumber. "Such a pity how easy this fight is going to be. His fangs and tail give him a lack of reach. Without any use of arms, his attacks become quite predictable. Such a pity he doesn't put up a fight. How did this guy become a threat?"
Luigi shrugged. "I don't know, but he has something I want. Let's get him!" As they ran to the snake, he used his body to jump to the ceiling before crashing back down, sending shockwaves that destroyed a part of the floor.
"Predictable, you say?" he said. "Sometimes, the very words you say can be your doom. I've become quite tired of the pointless drivel. As the classic villainous saying goes: 'I have one more trick up my sleeve!'" His tail began morphing into a second shape. Everyone glanced in shock at the transformation.
"What's he doing?" Jerry asked. The shape began forming eyes and a nose.
"He's forming a second head," Blooey said with a look of disgust. Hizza's second head finished transforming.
The snake sighed. "Ah!" the head of his tail said. "I haven't had this form in many years! I must say it does take quite a lot out of me, but it's so worth it! Twice the heads means twice the amount of sacrifices! You all will bow before me!" The heads reared back and snapped, managing to strike a random Bob-omb with his venom. The snake laughed. "I haven't felt this in a long time! You're all my sacrifices!" The room was filled with chaos as everyone ran for their lives. Luigi panicked a little. Blooey did his best to fight him, but Hizza whacked him down with a headbutt. Luigi gasped. He ran to Jerry as he was about to leave.
"I need your help! I have an idea!"
"N-No!" The Bob-omb was in a major panic attack. "I can't! I'll die!"
"It's-a OK!" He sighed. "Look. I'm just as scared as you, but I have a plan. We have to get it to bite itself. Can you help me distract it? Please?" Jerry sighed. He didn't know. When this mission started, he was determined to stop Hizza, but all that determination disappeared. He wasn't ready, but he also couldn't leave him hanging. He could at least do it for him.
"OK."
"Great! We can do this! Let's-a go!" The two ran to the two-headed snake as both of its heads glared at Blooey. "Hey, two-heads!" Hizza turned to him, who was wiggling his eyebrows. "Come and get me!"
"You peasant!" Hizza charged at him. He reared up, fangs bared to attack. Luigi deftly dodged to the left as they snapped, digging them into the ground.
Now was Jerry's turn. "Hey, false god!" The other head turned to him. "Come at me!"
"With pleasure!" The head charged and tried to bite him, but the Bob-omb dodged, causing his other head to dig into his own skin, causing him to scream. He slithered around, trying to sooth the pain. He collapsed to the ground, heaving. "Wh-What did you do to me?!"
"We had you have your own karma," Luigi said. "You tried to harm everyone with your bite only to have you bite yourself. You're done."
"No! E-Everyone will bow before me! Th-The world will b-be mine!"
"Why?" Jerry asked. "Why? Are you jealous about what other people have?"
"He just wanted attention," Blooey hissed, grabbing the compass piece from him. "He was so envious of what other people had that he wanted everyone to submit to him. He wanted to be a god. Well, guess what? That's what that harmful sin does to you. It damages you and other people. Come on. Let's let the 'god' weep in his own pity."
As they left, Hizza heaved. "N-No. I shall rule over all! C-Come back!" He closed his eyes as he laid on the ground, his dream disappearing as his body dissipated in a cloud of smoke, never to be seen again.
Jerry left the lair, glancing back at it with a growl. "Don't worry," Luigi said. "He won't survive his own venom. Come on. Let's tell your father the good news." He nodded.
Plumpbelly Village
Barry sighed as he laid on his bed, deep in his thoughts. Would his son make it? He didn't know. Hizza was a tough monster. No one has faced him before the green man showed up. Hizza was also smart. What if Hizza saw through his plan? What if- "Hey." A voice interrupted his thoughts. Sherri walked to him. "Are you feeling OK?"
"No, Sherri. I'm worried for my son. What if Hizza kills him? What if-"
"Stop. Stop it right now. Our son will survive. He will defeat Hizza. Do you have faith?"
He sighed. "Yes, but-"
"Then there's nothing to worry about. He will survive. That's it."
"You make it sound so easy."
Sherri bent to him. "He has friends to back him up," she said. "I know it's easier said than done, but sometimes, having a little faith can make the situation easier to deal with. Have faith."
"Sherri. Barry." A Bob-omb villager entered the room. "They've returned, and with good news."
Sherri smiled. "See? Wait here. I'll bring him in." She left the room with the villager. A couple moments later, Jerry ran into the room and hugged him.
"Dad!"
"Hello, son. How was it?"
"It was so cool!" He started rambling at a fast pace while racing around the room. "We managed to get inside and it was so dark. I almost felt like running! Then, I managed to save him, Dad! Then, all the fighting broke out and it was chaos! I almost died, too! The green man and the blooper whacked him in the brains hard! I was so scared!" As he continued rambling, Barry could see all the energy from his son. For the first time in his life, he's felt true adventure, something Barry restricted him of. This was something he needed.
"Jerry," he said. He stopped rambling. "Bring the man in here. There's a couple things I need to say to him." He nodded and left. A few minutes later, Luigi and Blooey arrived. "Thank you for coming. First, I must apologize. I was rude to you and wanted you to leave when you were only helping my son. Please, forgive me. Also, I want my son to join you on your quest." Jerry glanced at him in surprise. "I could see how excited he was when he was telling his tale." He glanced at him. "Son, I have a serious question for you. Do you still want to become mayor? I've forced this upon you for too long. It's time for your voice to be heard."
Jerry didn't know. He wanted to make his father proud, there were moments when he was scared. "Dad, it was really scary there. I don't know if I'm ready."
"Then I will no longer force this upon you. If you do, my wife will gladly teach you." She nodded. "For now, I want you to experience the world. Have fun! Make this an-" Before he could finish, Jerry hugged him.
"Thank you," he said with a smile. He smiled and hugged back.
After they separated, Barry glanced at Luigi. "Before you leave, I have one more thing to say. Would you mind marrying my daughter?" The room was filled with shock then a moment of silence.
"Father! Really?!"
"Yes. He should. He's in the proper attire. Why not hold a wedding?"
"Barry," Sherri said. "Mary's only six year old. And he is like 25 or 26? Our daughter hasn't even reached puberty, and you're asking this gentleman twice her age to marry her?"
Mary made a surprise appearance. "I wanna!"
"No!" Jerry ran to her. "I shall protect you!"
Barry chuckled. "I was only kidding! She's not getting married. I know that! You can't expect me to be aggressive all the time. I have a sense of humor." He glanced at Luigi. "You have a long journey up ahead. I shall give you guys a place to rest for the night. You're tired, yes?" He nodded. "Good. Get some rest. And Jerry?" The Bob-omb glanced at him. "Get packing! You leave tomorrow!" He nodded and ran, happy that his dream was finally coming true.
Thanks for reading! Next week will be a little different. We will examine what's happening at the other side of the kingdom. We will examine what has happened since Princess Éclair was kidnapped, and it'll be a bit of a doozy. See you next time!