Chapter 11 – Double Take

Bella

As I had suspected I would, I found myself in my office after lunch, crying while trying to get the picture of Stacey's destroyed face out of my mind. I pulled myself together as quickly as I could, though.If Rose caught me breaking down like this, it wouldn't be pretty. I couldn't risk getting sent home when there was so much to do, not to mention bills to pay.

I made it through the rest of the afternoon, calling the hospital to check on Stacey's progress every so often, and finalizing the paperwork for the placement of the girls. They were truly fortunate to be going to the Cullen's home. I was certain the sweet couple would be perfect to care for the girls, as I had watched them get acquainted in the waiting room. Esme and Madelyn seemed to connect quickly, and I suspected Madelyn was starving for motherly attention. She had been thrust into the role of substitute mother for her little sisters, especially Dorianne, and not of her own doing. She had stepped up courageously and graciously, and at fifteen, she already had more parenting experience than many adult parents starting out. I admired her greatly for her strength and dedication at such a young age.

Dorianne had latched on to Carlisle, and by the time they left, she'd had him wrapped tightly around her little finger. Marisol had been a bit shy at first, but she was soon going between Esme and Carlisle, showing them her crayon drawings and chattering about wanting markers to draw more pretty pictures. Esme delighted in the idea of having a budding artist to work with.

I was still concerned about Abigail, however. She spoke a little bit about Stacey, but she remained wide-eyed and tentative, taking in everything around her. It took a bit of convincing to get her to go with the Cullens, but she finally went willingly when Mrs. Cullen promised an ice cream stop on the way home. We all agreed the three oldest would need to see Alice for intensive therapy to help them work through the trauma they had endured.

As I was packing up to leave for the day, Rose appeared in my doorway, radiating pure contentment. I knew this look on her, but never had I seen her this far gone before. It looked like the law was on her side, I giggled to myself.

"I take it that starry-eyed look on your face has something to do with the dashing young police officer you were huddled in the corner with this morning?" I could tell I had hit the mark when she broke out in a full-faced grin, and her eyes lit up and sparkled at the memory of Emmett Cullen.

"Oh, Bella, he's the hottest thing I've ever seen," she smiled dreamily. "It was all I could do to keep my hands off him in front of his parents. And speaking of his parents, I think Esme is the sweetest woman I've ever met, and they're both still so youthful and fit for being in their early fifties. Man, neither of them look a day over forty! We're so fortunate to have them in the program."

I smiled and nodded, agreeing with her. "They seemed like the kind of people you could trust with your life. I'm so glad they were available to take the girls. I think that one is going to be a match made in heaven. I wouldn't even be surprised if they ended up adopting them." I smiled, remembering how they had just meshed so nicely.

Alice and Jasper walked in at that moment, also ready to leave for the day.

"By the way," Rose remembered, "Emmett's parents invited all of us to come for Dorianne's birthday party. We can also do our routine check on the girls then to see how they're adjusting. They invited us to bring a guest as well, so Jasper, you're invited, too. Bella, well, you know…"

Rose had given up on me getting a man a long time ago. She, like Alice, used to try to get me to do something with myself to be more appealing to the opposite sex. She had found me frustrating, claiming I had so much to work with naturally, but I refused to "work it" to my advantage.

However, we had been at the hospital one day, and she had witnessed a particularly obnoxious session of Drs. Black, Cheney, Molina, and Baker circling a new intake assistant like a pack of hungry wolves. The girl was pretty and wearing something Rose would have considered appropriately attractive. I pointed out that I didn't have the patience for that, or their time-wasting attempts to chat me up. She thought they were all behaving like a quartet of horny chihuahuas attempting to hump the girl's legs and agreed with me. No more had been said on the subject.

I did get my revenge once, though, for her prior pushing. I managed to drag her and Alice both into a thrift store. I almost hyperventilated with laughter, as they literally cringed and held their breath at everything I pulled off the racks. When I tried to drag them into the dressing rooms, they bolted for door. The very thought of trying on an item previously worn by a stranger made them practically break out in hives. It was one shopping experience none of us would forget any time soon. The very mention of going to a thrift store for clothes still sent them running in terror.

Rose stopped and looked me up and down seriously for a moment, humming as she did so. "You know, Bella, I think I might've been too hasty agreeing with you about not changing your style," she said with a gleam in her eyes that had me worried, especially when Alice had the same gleam in hers. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Alice?" Rose smirked. Oh no…

"Indeed, I certainly am, Rose. Honestly, Bella, you need to give us another chance. After the way that gorgeous doctor had to pick his jaw up off the floor today, I'd definitely say we're on to something here." Alice was rubbing her hands together conspiratorially at the thought of having another go at me.

"What gorgeous doctor?" Rose asked, looking between the two of us. "Oh, do tell!"

My face flushed red, and Rose's brow shot up. At that, Alice was off, recanting our earlier encounter with Dr. Masen, in great and vivid detail, much to my rosy-cheeked embarrassment.

The thought of Dr. Masen made me blush furiously from head to toe, and my heart started racing again. He had to have only stared at me the way he had because he had been so shocked at how awful I looked. I couldn't say the same about him, though. He was the most incredible man I had ever seen, and his face had slipped back into my thoughts all afternoon. His sweet, compassionate eyes had captivated me, and the way he had smelled was downright sinful. There was sadness in those eyes, though, and I had wanted so badly in those few seconds to try and make him smile.

"You two can't be serious! I look like something the cat dragged in!" Or at least I thought I did. Alice turned to Jasper, the only man around, to get his opinion.

"What do you think, Jasper?" Alice asked him seriously. "Would you say Bella looks better now…with no grandpa glasses, granny bun, old lady orthotic shoes, and ugly man jacket…or the way she looked this morning, when you first walked in and saw her wearing all of the above?" Alice made me step out from behind my desk and twirl around for Jasper's appraisal. I felt like a prized heifer being evaluated for auction. After what seemed like a little too long, Jasper finally pulled his eyes away from me and turned back to Alice.

"Definitely better this evening, I'd say," Jasper smiled appreciatively. Surely, he was just going along with Alice to be agreeable, but I looked up to catch him watching me again, still smiling. "Really, Bella, they're right. You look stunning this evening. You've always been a lovely woman; the small adjustments to your appearance just emphasize it that much more."

"Okay, no more bun head, Bella!" Alice demanded, her hands on her hips. "I'm pulling an intervention here. If you come into the office with your hair all balled up tight on your head like an angry armadillo again, I'll body tackle you if I must to get it down!"

She would, too. I was certain of it, given the look in her eyes. Alice could be ruthless when she was trying to get her way or prove a point. She would have to put up with me at least braiding it back or pinning it up for callouts, though. Long, swinging hair could be dangerous in some situations.

"And don't even think about getting those same eyeglass frames that look like you stole them from your grandpa's stash. What Dorianne did to them is nothing compared to what I'll do! Besides, your eyelashes are too much for glasses like that. They're so freakishly long and dark, they touch the lenses, which makes them look like windowpanes with spiders crawling on them. It's creepy!" Alice shuddered.

Whether she liked it or not, I did have to get another pair of glasses, but for now, I would have to rely on my contacts. Maybe they were right. I actually had felt prettier today, though it was mostly after visiting Stacey this morning. Our brief conversation had made me realize that true beauty wasn't defined by looks, but what was in a person's heart, though it never hurt to have dear friends who loved you and helped you to look good, too. Even if I didn't have what others thought I should have in the looks department, I did my best to help people. I liked myself for who I was, not what I looked like, and that was what really mattered most to me. Looking pretty was just icing, but I couldn't deny anymore that it was still sweet.

Before we parted, we made plans to go shopping. I wanted to get Dorianne something for her birthday, and I wanted to take the other girls a little something, too. We didn't normally do that as social workers, our salaries just didn't allow it for every child, but these children had really touched me.

Alice planned to drag me to as many stores as necessary to supplement my wardrobe, or if she had her way as I suspected, to replace it altogether if I'd let her. She hailed from old money and had a fat trust fund, so doing such a thing wasn't a foreign concept to her and came easily. I came from hard-earned money and a skinny checking account, so I had to stretch my budget any way I could. I just hoped she didn't give me too much flak about shopping the clearance racks. There was also no way I was giving up on my thrift stores. I would just learn to make better selections and be more mindful of how things looked on me. My frugal side would never be happy shopping full retail like Alice and Rose did for everything, all the time. I'd go broke or end up in debt. I wasn't there now, and I never wanted to be, either

As we were leaving the building, I caught sight of myself for the first time today. My reflection in the full-length windows that had been made mirrors by the deep shadows outside and the lights inside the lobby took me by surprise. I almost didn't recognize myself at first, but I slowed down to take a better look as I was leaving. I actually didn't look half bad. I even looked stronger and taller, if that were possible, which was weird. Perhaps there was something to this whole appearance thing after all...