like a son

by Adverb Slut

When Hamilton reveals all the details of his affair in "The Reynolds Pamphlet," Eliza divulges unto him her own secret: Philip Hamilton isn't his son, but rather the son of John Laurens. This secret, along with Hamilton's own infidelity, shakes the family to its core, and even worse, the presumed dead John Laurens returns, very much alive and with no clue that Philip is his son.

11. duel

Their ride across the Hudson was silent, for Alexander tried to numb his entire being with the sedative that he knew worked best—a blank mind. John, meanwhile, would not move his crouched head from between his knees, trying deeply to overcome seasickness and the general shock he felt at Alexander's news and his challenge.

At the dueling ground in Weehawken, there was a widespread cacophony at seeing the disgraced Treasury Secretary and the strange man that walked beside him (fifteen years of absence had done little to preserve John Laurens' memory in the minds of the New Jersey populace).

The pair decided not to follow the traditional twenty-five duel commandments, as the challenge itself had not been demanded in line with the rules. They even went so far as to forgo the use of a second, for both thought it in bad taste to confer with others when the person who normally would've been their right-hand man was on the other side of the dueling ground.

Alexander watched as one of the onlookers offered John a pistol, which was taken with a hand that twitched with what may have been trepidation or excitement, Alexander did not know.

The two took their twenty paces from across each other and Alexander held out his own pistol, silently cursing himself when his body quaked and his grip on the trigger became slick with sweat. Across the way, he saw John, whose green eyes were alight with a streak of courage and a dash of fear—to which Alexander blanched because, for the first time, he realized just how similar John and Philip looked.

Same expressive face, same daring green eyes, same chestnut curls ... dear God, how had he not realized their relation before?

For a moment, he could see a little boy playing the piano with his mother, attempting to chant French numbers to her cadence, but accidentally changing the melody every time. Philip was so small then, and just so proud to show his father—no, to show Alexander—what he could do.

John's gaze met his, and Alexander inhaled sharply as he reminded himself that it wasn't Philip standing before him, but John Laurens, the man who had brought a future of disgrace upon a boy whose only crime was being born.

But then, a quiet voice in his mind reminded him that it was John.

His John.

And then Alexander tried.

He tried, oh, he tried, to force his finger down onto the trigger when the cue "Fire!" was screamed by the duel regulators, but he just couldn't do it.

He aimed his pistol at the sky.