Please don't hate me for this but...this is very questionable and I promise there's more to it than meets the eye and a lot of twists, either way, I hope you enjoy
Trigger Warnings: Issues relating to mental health
One month later...
Progress was something which was very much earned for Carla, she was happy for once in her life she was able to feel as if she could move on and make a go of things, be better and feel sane. The fears regarding her mental stability were still there, her life was something which she was very grateful for. There had been good days and there had been bad ones and Peter was three through all of them and that was something she was very happy about, she was able to let him into her mind and her thoughts without him judging her and the amount of trust between the two of them skyrocketed even if past mistakes still haunted the both of them.
Carla was finally rebuilding her relationship with Aziza, this was something which was making her recovery go so quickly it was hard for Peter to keep up, she was on less supervision and she was even warranted day release at one point so she and Peter went out around the local town and just had a good time together and she was fine, perfect almost, yes it was still enough to make her anxious but they both had ways of dealing with those feelings and only making the rational ones count. Carla and Aziza were able to bond once more, Peter loved watching his wife interact with their daughter once more, they played games in Carla's room and they spent time together, Carla told Aziza stories and they read books together as well as do some baking in the kitchen which was there as well, supervised of course.
The true test would be Peter introducing Azalea to Carla, which was happening today. He couldn't lie and say he wasn't nervous because he was petrified at how Carla would take to being around their daughter again as she was a major trigger to her so he was prepared for things not to go as smoothly as they would if it was Aziza. He packed a changing bag for Azalea who was making really good progress as well but he couldn't help but look at his daughter and think about how much she had missed out on her short life, lack of her mother's touch and a lack of her soothing her when she was crying, it was hard but he knew it was his new normal. He was very much preparing himself for the worst today and that was ok, he had a briefing with Carla's care team and they deemed that she was ready for such a big step as well and reassured Peter they would be there to help him if things got out of hand and he couldn't cope with keeping Azalea safe around Carla.
"Are you sure she's ready?" Peter questions, Dr Williams smiles and nods "Ok"
"Peter if she senses you're nervous then she will most likely be nervous as well, there will be plenty of people in there with you so you don't need to worry" Dr Williams smiles as Peter picks up the car seat "Right let's go and see her"
"Ok" Peter replies nervously watching Dr Williams swipe the keycard to go into Carla's room where she was sat on the armchair reading a book "Hey, love"
"Hello" Carla replies peering up from the book, she flashes him a smile before her gaze drops down to Azalea who was playing with the toys which were attached to the car seat, she looked very nervous and looked genuinely petrified especially when Azalea started to squeal
"Yes I know that's your Mummy sweetheart" Peter whispers placing the car seat on the bed, Carla stands up curiously and walks over standing behind Peter and watching as he takes Azalea out of the car seat, he turns around holding Azalea on his hip "Oh hello"
"Hi" Carla whispers reaching out and brushing her finger over Azaleas forehead before tilting her head to the side
"Do you want to hold her?" Peter offers, Carla continues to examine Azalea suspiciously before returning her gaze to Peter who was smiling at her, she nods "I'll tell you what we'll do, we'll use your pillow that way-"
"I can do it" Carla states, Peter smiles and nods sitting down on the bed, Carla follows as well and grips onto Azalea's body before sitting her daughter down on her lap, Peter supports her head "She looks different"
"She's grown a lot" Peter grins, Carla tilts her head to the side taking in her daughter's features, green eyes and dark hair which was sitting on her head
"How do you feel Carla?" Dr Williams smiles pulling up a chair in front of her while she stares at Azalea in a trance "Carla?"
"I don't know what to say, I'm sorry" Carla shrugs passing Azalea back to Peter who sighs watching Carla stand up and pace the room "Can I speak to Dr Williams on my own Peter?"
"Of course, I'll just be outside ok?" Peter smiles, she nods watching him leave the room, she turns to Dr Williams and sighs
"What's bothering you, Carla?" Dr Williams gestures for her to take a seat, she bites her lip
"You promise you will believe me?" Carla questions, Dr Williams smiles and nods "Azalea's not Peter's...I lied to him I continued to lie and...I think that's what triggered my illness again..."
"Right" Dr Williams sighs slightly "And having Azalea triggered that for you? That's why she's a trigger?"
"Yes" Carla confirms, Dr Williams smiles slightly and nods "I had a one night stand...when he...when he went off with that Abi, I was mad and I felt guilty ever since. Peter, he's so kind and caring and he built me up again when I was ill before, then I fell pregnant, I really genuinely thought that I could hack it you know, keep the secret then do a DNA test behind Peter's back and then I realised, we weren't having sex when we were going through that rough patch, the medication made me numb, I couldn't be in the mood for that and Peter's always been so understanding of that so..."
"But if you weren't in the mood for sex..." Dr Williams trails off, Carla sighs biting her lip "Did you lie to him?"
"No" she shakes her head "I wasn't in the mood for sex when I had sex with Azalea's father who was my business partner..."
"Urm..." Dr Williams trails off glancing through his notes "Nick Tilsley? But you don't own Underworld, Carla, remember?"
"There's stuff that you don't even know about" Carla sighs slightly, Dr Williams frowns utterly confused, he knew Carla very well and this was not lies spilling out of her mouth, "Peter told you everything, I kept things in the dark, purposely"
17th November 2020
Deception was the key to many things which involved my life. One by one the people around me would suffer, well not all of them. It felt bad and I immediately regretted it not that I had a choice anyway, I was under contract after all and that was that we moved on, the thing was I didn't realise I signed the poxy thing as I was out of my mind but somehow it would benefit me entirely and that was fine, me and Peter, we could have a new life for ourselves, buy a house and a business between the two of us and life would be great, maybe then we could try for another baby and Aziza would be happy having both her parents under one roof as well. In a way it was kind of a win, even if it wasn't I would still have to do it anyway otherwise I would be prosecuted and I couldn't have Aziza lose me especially after everything that happened last year.
"Sorry Nick, I need to take this is that ok?" I ask him, I still couldn't believe I was back here working for him after everything that I caused this place but I needed to be here for reasons I couldn't believe I was actually here for, I was very much still in denial
"Of course I think you've earned it" he chuckles, I nod taking myself out of the room and out of the factory tucking myself down the side alleyway beside the building
"Sorry...I needed to make my excuses...meet you? To discuss what...obviously sorry, busy at work and all that...yeah I'm fine don't worry about me...I'll be there as soon as I can get away...The Welton...yeah I can do that...see you soon" I sigh ending the call and closing my eyes, I walk out and smile at Peter playing football with Aziza on the street, my mind briefly teleports back to the time when he used to do that with Simon, it's shame he didn't know what was coming to the people he cares about
"Mummy!" Aziza smiles widely running over to her, I give her a hug "Have you finished work?"
"No sorry baby, a few more hours" I smile pulling some change out from my pocket and placing it in her hands "Go and get yourself some sweets from Rita eh?"
"Yeah ok" Aziza beams running off into The Kabin, Peter chuckles slightly smiling at me, I smile back
"Look I may be home late tonight or may even need to stay over somewhere will you be alright with her?"
"Of course, Nick working you hard then?"
"I think it's allowed considering everything he is going through with Leanne" I smile, Peter nods pecking me on the lips "Make sure Zi doesn't have too many sweets I don't want her to rot her teeth or be hyper"
"Of course, you take care yeah and take a step back if you feel stressed or anything, love you" he smiles walking off to The Kabin blowing me a kiss, I smirk watching him enter causing me to sigh if only things were different...
The day dragged, as usual, Nick was stressed which really wasn't helpful at least Sarah was there to keep him somewhat sane and finally the day finished. I headed home knowing Peter was out at a meeting and Aziza being taken care of by Johnny who was treating her in town considering me and Peter had been so busy recently I had the pub all to myself which was where we were all staying right now. I walked into the bedroom I shared with Peter and pulled out a deep red tight-fitting dress and chucked it on before attaching my signature hooped earrings and picking out a necklace which Peter gave me, I sighed looking at it, I didn't want to have to wear it but needs must at this point so I put it on and picked up my coat before leaving the pub and calling a cab to the location I need to be of attendance.
"Carla!"
"Hello" I smile glancing to the two other people who valued me in all sorts of scabby and seedy ways "I'm guessing we've been summoned for an update then?" I glance to the laminated paper which was laid out in front of me, a side shaded in red
"You wanted in remember"
"Yeah alright Debbie" I snipe, she rolls her eyes as I take a seat opposite her "Where is our friendly entrepreneur anyway?"
"Getting the drinks in, as usual, surprised he hasn't summoned a pack of cards to play a friendly game of poker" Debbie smirks, I raise an eyebrow chuckling slightly, I did have to wonder how she was Kevin Webster's sister
"I still have to question how you're Kevin's sister you know" I chuckle, she smirks shaking her head, I raise my eyebrows
"He didn't get well off on the looks did he?" Debbie laughs, I stifle mine biting my lip, I didn't like to admit it but Debbie could be quite funny when she wanted to be
"I guess not, no" I agree watching as a drink is placed down on the table, I look up and smile widely into his eyes "We meet again"
"We do" Ray smirks sitting down at the table as well "We're waiting for one more actually..."
"Seriously?" I question pinning Ray a look of annoyance wanting to get this thing over and done with and go home to my boyfriend and child
"Yes, I wouldn't joke about something like this Carla" Ray states, i roll my eyes in annoyance, Debbie just folds her arms across her chest
"Am i late?"
"You have got to be kidding me?" I raise my eyebrows "What's he doing here for?"
"He's a builder I'm gonna need them, Carla..."
"But Scott, after he robbed you?" I glare with somewhat confusion, Ray chuckles before the realisation sinks in "You faked it...should've guessed really, how on earth did you get off then?"
"Ray's top-class solicitors" Scott states, I groan in annoyance, my head falling into my awaiting hands "We're going to need to get on and do this you know"
"Yes I know that" Ray rolls his eyes passing Scott a drink, I just groan "Anyway as you all know things are moving along swiftly, I now have Number 8, the contracts are being created by Debbie for Number 6 and 4 ready to be given the go-ahead and I have the garage-"
"Woah hold on" I start wagging my finger in the air glancing to Debbie "You're shafting your own brother-"
"That's none of your business" Debbie shoots me down I raise my eyebrow sipping on the glass of orange juice I have wishing it was something alcoholic
"Ladies" Ray states, I roll my eyes glancing to him, resting my head on one of my arms which was propped up by my elbow on the table "We're here to talk business remember, Carla did you get the contacts?"
"Here" I smile sarcastically passing them over to him, he nods looking through them "All of Underworld contacts, I also put the building deeds in there as well"
"Very good" Ray smirks towards me, I roll my eyes stupidly "And Nick?"
"What about him?"
"Does he know they're gone?"
"That's a copy for you to look at, I'll get the real ones nearer the time when you've done your world-class trickery Ray and ruin people's chances of keeping their local jobs"
"You know that's the point don't you? Make Underworld go out of business, make people lose their jobs, they find new ones away from the street, therefore they move. Less aggression towards me, I don't need the hate"
"I gathered that" I state glancing to Scott "Are we done here yet?"
"Almost" he states glancing to the planning permission plan which was laying on the table, before handing out contracts to me, Debbie and Scott "Read them through, let me know what you think, the price is negotiable"
"It better flaming well be" I mutter under my breath examining the contract tediously, skimming every line and reading it five times over I watch Debbie and Scott sign on the dotted line, I sigh picking up the pen and scribbling my signature down on the paper before passing it back to Ray
"Good, I think we're done here, there is one more thing I need to speak to Carla about in private but you lot are free to go" he gestures to Scott and Debbie who nod and collect their things, he watches as they leave before turning to me "Would you like a meal here Carla?"
"Ur..." I trail off, I was rather hungry and it would fit in with what I would have to say to Peter when I return home "Ok then, yeah"
"Good" he smiles at me, I bite my lip watching him beckon his staff over to clear up the table, they also place a couple of menus down as well, I pick one up and skim through it "So tell me Carla, how much experience do you have in the rag trade then?"
"Oh, you want the whole story?" I nod, Ray smiles "Put it like this Ray, you chose the right person to get inside information about Underworld, I've worked there since I inherited from my first husband"
"Oh?" Ray queries, I smile slightly singling out what I wanted on the menu "That does sound like a lot of experience if I do say so myself, when did you meet Peter?"
"I only I really only started to speak to him since 2010, but I knew of him of course, everyone on that street was in each other's pockets-"
"Nosy bunch arent they?"
"Tell me about it!"
"I bet you'll be happy to get your cut of the money so you can move away eh?"
"Something like that" I muse thinking about it, maybe it was time for a fresh start not that Peter would have any of it "It would be nice I suppose, settling down in a place, me, Peter and Zi...hmm making new memories and being a family, that's what counts isn't it?"
"I guess so"
"So tell me Ray...why do you want to push people out of their homes, families which are well established in the place they live?"
"I didn't have a very good childhood...poor, living off scraps, parents who hated my existence, it hurt I suppose and I guess call it petty, see it as revenge for all the times I've felt pushed out...and the fact it will be an amazing investment, you've seen the figures considering you meticulously picked over then, who needs a financial adviser eh?"
"Yeah sorry about that" I chuckle slightly dropping my gaze and peering into my orange juice "Intrigue got to me"
"I don't blame you, Debbie and Scott are weird ones because they don't care about the ins and outs of it, you're different, they're in for the money and you're in to make sure me and the others, as well as yourself, are in for the best deal out there"
"I feel like I owe it to you" I admit, he frowns and I let him pick my hand up and hold it as I continue to stare at the orange juice in my champagne flute "You had to see me when I was...ill, out of my mind and you looked after me..."
"I'm sorry I didn't get to you sooner after that guy-"
"Don't" I shake my head feeling the bile rise up my oesophagus "Sorry it's just hard...but thank you for keeping me safe...giving me a place to stay, I don't really remember much but..."
"You wanted to help me in return so I showed you the contracts and you signed them, you thought it would be a good idea to...move away after everything that happened...with Peter and Aziza"
"You do realise that those contracts won't be legit because of my mental state, the name I used to sign wasn't my name and when this comes out-"
"It won't come out, I have explained the situation and it won't Carla you don't need to worry, your name will be kept out of it even if it does. I owe that to you, me and you we're similar"
"I guess we are" I muse glancing to him and gulping "What really did happen with you and Michelle?"
"It was a misunderstanding she blew out of proportion, I only touched her leg and she took it too far...I genuinely thought she was interested in me and I like her, I probably pushed her bit too much then she started standing on her moral high horse and I took action because I needed to keep a reputation for this project as you know...if I was hated then it wouldn't have worked"
"You have me and Debbie though?"
"I guess" he chuckles "I didn't back then, obviously but when she liked the idea then she went for it" Ray shrugs, I nod slowly "All this information about me, and I haven't even heard about your past"
"It's a sticky one" I breathe out "Parents who hated me, a father who didn't own up and say he was mine for 40 years of my life, an abusive stepfather as a result, murdering brother, cheating husband, falling in love with his brother whilst being married to a psychopath who killed him then tried to kill me, getting with Peter and having Zi, him cheating on me and then causing me to lose my baby, kidney failure then falling for Peter again then my psychosis to being here now"
"The short version?"
"Very much so" I state sipping on my drink as some bar snacks are brought over and placed on the table, I help myself "How did you cope?"
"Hm?"
"With parents who didn't seem like they cared?"
"I didnt...it was just me learning to fend for myself, the social knocking on the door every two minutes, it was hard, so hard but I dealt with it and look where I am today. Planning my biggest project yet for a nice sum of money all from my own doing and that makes it worth it"
"I get you, the way that I didn't fix that roof, it wasn't worth it in the end but in the future, it would have been the amount of money it would have provided me and Zi with-"
"You shouldn't put yourself down" Ray sighs taking my hand, I smile lopsidedly at him "It wasn't your fault you know...it was an accident from what I've been told it was just something that didn't work and it was just luck...or bad luck in this case"
"Still maybe it was naive of me to think that I could pull it off ey?"
"Don't be stupid, you've done a lot for me, Carla, you're valuable in more ways than you think"
"And what ways are those?" I question leaning inwards, he does the same so we're both staring into each other's eyes "Please inform me"
"Well-" he starts, I continue to look into his eyes "Your ways you go about doing business, your personality, quick wit and determination and your ability to charm customers with that voice of yours, you know exactly what to say and that's what makes you unique"
"Oh really? Do you want to know what makes you unique?"
"Inform me" he smirks picking up his drink and sipping it, I take it and take a brief sip of it as well knowing that I shouldn't be touching alcohol but either way what's done is done
"You're alluring, your business strategies even if they do come across rather sleazy at times but deep down there's someone underneath who...who's tainted and damaged but you'll heal from your past and move on to the future" I whisper not really realising what I was saying, I watch him lean in and I feel him brush his lips against mine, I reciprocate, I know why I did it, my relationship with Peter wasn't exactly peachy right now and we were going through a rough patch so to feel a slight ounce of love was exhilarating for me, we continue to kiss, my tongue dancing with his until we pull away and look at each other again, I lean in and kiss him letting him know this is what I wanted, the rest was history...
"And that's why I can't tell him"
"Does this Ray know?" Dr Williams questions, Carla turns to face him and nods "So he could basically blow your world apart at any given moment?"
"Got it in one and I think you know the amount of paranoia that would facilitate let alone anxiety" Carla shrugs, Dr Williams shrugs "I know what you're going to say and that would be to tell him because he understands but this s just too much, he's essentially been raising another mans baby thinking it's his I cant drop that on him, not now"
"Does anyone know about the plan?"
"Debbie, Scott...Ray obviously and me"
"Didn't it go ahead?" Dr Williams questions, Carla sighs biting her lip "What else arent you telling me"
"The thing is after I...slept with Ray...consensually might I input he released me from the contract, I have no clue what's going on, he probably knew this would affect me so he released me from it"
"Could you ask Debbie or Scott?"
"They won't be allowed to say due to a clause in the contracts stating that they are not to discuss anything outside the parties included in the contracts, if they do then they face prosecution and I doubt either of them would want to face that and as I've been released-"
"You can't ask them?"
"Exactly, it's just one of those things, at least I don't have to do any more running around for Ray put it like that, it was so awkward having to lie to everyone and put on an act as well as it being exhausting"
"So what are you going to do?"
"Get better and get on with my life, the thing about being in here Dr Williams is that it taught me a lot of things, that fate is very much a way of living. Whatever happens is the way my life was meant to be lived, being a mother to Aziza and Azalea is the priority now. Can you help me with that?"
"Of course I can" Dr Williams smiles, Carla nods slowly "Why don't you get some rest and then I can excuse Peter for you?"
"That would be great thank you" Carla smiles, Dr Williams nods collecting his notepad "Dr Williams?"
"Yeah?"
"Confidential? Right?"
"Always" Dr Williams nods, Carla smiles watching him leave, Peter was sitting outside her room entertaining Azalea "Peter"
"Hello" Peter smiles "She doesn't want to see me?"
"She's a bit tired I think we've had a chat and I'm looking to work with her to find a way forward, the positives are that she wants to get better and she wants me to help her so I think things are going to be slow but we will get there"
"Good" Peter nods glancing down to Azalea, he lifts her up onto his hip, Dr Williams sighs "Let's get you home little lady, daddy needs to get your sister eh?"
"Bye Peter" Dr Williams smiles watching him walk out of the clinic, feelings aside he knew this would be difficult for Carla from now on...