John POV

I had a hand under my head as I stared up at the ceiling, slow, steady breath fanned over the hot flesh of my neck. My other arm was wrapped around her waist as we lay chest to chest. I was still reeling after what happened. That was interesting…

Absentmindedly, I traced her upper arm with my fingers as she dropped in and out of consciousness. I knew she never slept, so I had half a mind to let her sleep uninterrupted and just hold her, but I realised, this was the real world and something was bound to interrupt us at any moment.

I heard my radio sound and I sighed, 'way to go, John,' I thought. 'Jinx yourself why don't ya?' I shifted slightly to reach for the radio and I heard her stirr slightly. I grabbed the radio.

"Colonel Sheppard," I said into the receiver.

"Colonel Sheppard, please report to the infirmary," Beckett replied and I sighed. I looked down at the woman struggling to keep herself awake.

"Well, I guess that's my tests in," I said and she rolled off of my chest, letting me get up and start throwing on a nearby uniform. I pulled up my pants and fixed the belt, staring down at her resting her face in my pillow.

"You can stay here if you want, I won't be long. Maybe we can pick this back up…" I suggested and she smirked up at me. She nodded in agreement.

"Alright, I'm game," she said, leaning on her elbow. "Don't be too long, because I might get bored here all by myself. And if I do, I'll get started without you."

I groaned, just one quiet day in the Pegasus Galaxy, that's all I'm asking. I threw my shirt on over my shoulders, doing up the buttons and hurried out of the room, having known Evelyn long enough to be able to take her at her word.

I made it five minutes later to find Weir and Beckett waiting for me in the Infirmary. Weir being here wasn't a good sign. Still, they both smiled at me. Fingers crossed things went my way, just this once.

Evelyn POV

I woke up to lips on mine, kissing me gently. At some point either I, or the person with very soft and gentle lips had rolled me over off my face. There was light stubble scratching at my skin in just the right way, I remembered the conversation I'd had just before John left and furrowed my brow in confusion. I opened my eyes to the low light and kissed him back softly. I was expecting a much more enthusiastic kiss.

"What's wrong?" I asked, pulling away. "That wasn't really a 'wake up and let's fuck' kind of kiss."

I heard him sigh and shift how he was sitting on the bed beside me. I propped myself up on my elbows to make eye contact with him.

"Beckett says I've got some weird Wraith infection from Ellia cutting me. He thinks it's already breaking down in my system but I have to check in now every six hours. And I suspended myself from offworld activities," he explained and I frowned. Poor guy, he was the kind to lead by doing and showing rather than telling from some chair. I smiled and tried to make light, cheer him up.

"Better not give me some weird Wraith STD," I joked, pointing at him warningly and he raised an eyebrow.

"You'd prefer a normal one?" he asked.

"I prefer the kind of activities that usually lead to one but with one minor alteration,"I explained.

"And what's that?" he said and I smiled.

"Not getting one," I said and he chuckled.

He climbed over to rest above me and kissed me slowly but passionately. I moaned as his tongue flicked the surface of my mouth. There was the kind of kiss I was expecting. I reached up and expertly undid his buttons one handed and then slid his overshirt off his shoulders. He threw it on the table beside the bed and reached behind him to pull off his black t-shirt. I pressed my naked chest to his and felt the heat of his body against my own.

His fingers slid down my spine and his lips walked across my neck, keeping a much slower pace than the feverish hookup we'd just had. I reached for his belt and unfastened it, pulling the zipper open. He stood, momentarily, and dropped his trousers to the ground along with his boxer briefs and climbed back on the bed, rolling me onto my side and settling behind me. He lay on his side and kissed over the back of my neck and shoulders.

A hand slid over my hip and drew gentle circles as he leaned over me to meet my lips, capturing them in a kiss once again. I moaned as the hand on my hip slid down my thigh to slip underneath. His experienced fingers found my clit quickly and he traced soft, gentle circles and I shifted back into his hips. I could feel him, hard, behind me. I rested my neck on his shoulder as he kissed me deeply, muffling the sounds of pleasure escaping my lips. His fingers moved away and I whined at the loss of contact before he gripped my thigh again, lifting it up into the air and making room for him to slip inside.

His other arm slipped underneath me and he took hold of one of my breasts, massaging the flesh tenderly. He played with the nipple occasionally as he held one hand steady on my thigh, keeping the leg in the air. Comparatively, this was a much slower, more sensual experience than before, which had been two starved people climbing desperately onto a table, feast surrounding them. Now I could feel my eyes roll back into my head as he fucked me like I'd never see him again, like he was trying to burn every moment into his memory forever.

"John," I breathed desperately, though what I wanted, I had no idea. He kissed me harder, swallowing up every moan as he rocked his hips into mine, hard. There was a throbbing ache between my legs, I shuddered with pleasure, I could feel my juices running down my thighs. He pounded me hard but slow and I felt like I was on fire.

"Please," I begged and he chuckled.

The hand he'd been using to play with my breasts walked slowly down my body, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake, fingers circling my clit as he reached his destination. I rolled my head back to rest on his shoulder as I whined desperately. A hot white heat washed over me and I came again. The continued, steady motion of his hips said he had no intention of stopping anytime soon, and that there would be many more orasms to come.

"There's my girl," he whispered heavily in my ear, hot breath on the shell. I arched my back to him finding it difficult not to whine and moan. "Fuck you're so good," he said. "So good to me."

"John," I cried.

He kissed across my shoulders and thrust harder into me. He sped up the pace a little and I felt he was close. A hand gripped my hip hard enough to bruise and the other held my thigh as he rocked into me. I could hear the sound of skin slapping as he bounced off my ass and I moaned pronographically. I could feel the heat building in me again and I reached my hand down away from the sheets I'd been gripping and down to circle my swollen and throbbing clit. I shook as I came, clenching around him as he followed shortly thereafter. He let out a cry in my ear and came hard into me for the second time today.

He shifted his hips, pulling out of me and staying behind me as he wrapped both arms snuggly around me. He pecked my neck before he rested his head in the space between my head and shoulder, drifting off with light snores. Thanks to my many trips to the medbay, it was a comforting sound I was used to.

I ran my fingers over the dark hairs on his forearm, enjoying moment of post orgasmic bliss, trying to keep the intrusive thoughts at bay. I liked him, he meant a lot to me and we were great friends but the bottom line? He was my boss. Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard was my CO and I regularly went on missions with him in the field. And now I had his swimmers pouring out of me as I napped in his arms.

I shifted so I was laying on my back, staring up at the ceiling. I'd need to have a talk with him about this at some point. I didn't want to push it before anything really happened and I knew he wasn't the kind of guy who would ruin my life over this, but it was still something we needed to get ahead of. I could see John watching me out of the corner of my eye and I sat up, turning away from him as I found my panties on the floor. My bra was over by the door and I stood to fetch it.

Coming back in my underwear I knelt on the bed, crawling over to press a flirtatious kiss to his lips. He sat up and kissed me back before pulling away to dress himself. I leaned back against the pillows, it wasn't just the thought of this hookup's future on my mind, I also had the real time possibility of McKay throwing a tantrum because I'm not in the lab right now.

"I should probably be getting to the lab, I haven't seen McKay in a while and he gets super antsy if he doesn't hear from me," I suggested softly. It was only a matter of time before he started asking questions about my whereabouts. He looked up from his chest and stopped doing up his uniform's buttons.

"Are you asking permission?" he grinned cheekily.

"Maybe I'm looking for a reason not to…" I smirked, tracing the bruised skin of my thigh with my fingers, having made no further movements to dress after putting on my underwear.

"Don't get me wrong, I find your libido impressive," he told me, slight smirk on his face. "But I also have responsibilities." I chuckled.

"I know," I told him. "I'm just messing with you."

I pulled on the rest of my clothes, reattaching my arm and then tying up my sneakers. After leaving the Colonel's quarters I made my way to a part of the base I had more reason to be on before I really relaxed and jogged the rest of the way to the lab. Thankfully, being in my workout gear gave me a reasonable excuse to be this sweaty meaning McKay probably wouldn't ask.

"Where the hell have you been?" McKay demanded as soon as I stepped through the door. I laughed.

"Isn't it obvious?" I asked.

"I heard from Teyla you were in the gym with Sheppard but when I got there it was just Ronon. And that was hours ago… I bumped into Cadman and she said you weren't with her. I thought you were avoiding me," he said the last part rather quietly and I snorted, coming over and wrapping my arms around him, pinning him in a sweaty hug which he complained about the whole time.

"I'm not avoiding you Rodney," I told him softly. "I was just having a little private work out."

Internally I smirked at my wording, that really was a workout. McKay and I were close, but I couldn't tell him where I was, he wouldn't understand. He was jealous about me spending time with anyone that wasn't him, he was even jealous of Cadman. He wasn't used to having friends I think.

"Yeah well you should look at this," he told me. He held out a tablet to me and I shook my head. This couldn't be real. While I'd been gone Weir had approved the locations I'd scouted for my solar panels and miniature wind turbines as well as approved testing for the artificial gills Rodney had helped me with.

"Holy.."

"I know!" he said back excitedly. "This is huge."

"Thanks for coming to find me Rodney, I'm sorry you never caught me. This is actually amazing," I told him and he beamed proudly at me. "I'm going to start scheduling this stuff and reserving equipment right now."

Excitedly, I worked away on my tablet, filling out paperwork, making requests for different engineers time, finishing the designs. A few hours went by and McKay shook me out of my thoughts, dragging me off to the mess for dinner.

"So," Teyla said as I sat in front of her and Ronon at our usual table. "Rodney tells us news of your project. Are you excited?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "Yeah it's big. Might actually accomplish something during my team here."

"You do not feel fulfilled?" Teyla asked. "I do not understand. Do the missions not give you some sense of achievement?"

"I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't exactly do much on those missions save for getting into trouble," I replied. "And it's more, the Air Force sent me here on the guise I'd make new technology for the benefit of Earth. My arm specifically, I was supposed to make it work, and I can't."

"You have not been here that long, surely it has not been long enough for you to give up," she argued, looking at me like I was an insane person.

"I never said I'm giving up," I said. "I just can't figure it out so I'm moving on."

"So you're giving up," Ronon said, giving me a knowing look.

"O'Neills don't give up," I replied. "So I'm putting it on pause."

"Sounds a lot like giving up," Ronon smirked.

"Yeah, well, when I get another brainwave, then I'll go back to it," I shrugged and started stuffing food in my mouth to avoid conversation.

"Evelyn, good to see you out of the lab," I heard John comment and looked up at him with a coy smile.

"You hear about the project?" I asked.

"I did," he nodded. "Weir has suggested I escort you when you go location scouting, once this whole Wraith thing clears up."

He spoke with a smile but I still flinched when he mentioned Ellia. I still felt incredibly guilty. I know I should have taken her down but I let my heart get in the way of what was really happening. I was a fool to think Ellia was anything more than a soul sucking monster.

"What's with you?" McKay demanded, barely looking up from his second helping of jello.

"It's nothing," I dismissed. "I've got a few things to take care of back at the lab. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah," he agreed, puzzled, I didn't give him time to think about it, instead moving my tray away and heading out. I had to get better at fighting. I needed to make sure nothing like this ever happened again.

When I was back in the lab I collected my tablet and decided I'd work better in my room. I couldn't think straight on the damn wave powered generators I was trying to design because I couldn't stop thinking about how John was taking me location scouting.

I was so conflicted, I liked John, besides McKay he felt like my best friend. I also like-liked John because he was cute, and funny, and he knew just the right way to touch me. But I also respected John, he was an amazing CO but that was part of the problem. He was my CO. And even with all the conflicting feelings I had about him I still had to deal with the fact him getting hurt was my fault.

I shook my head. I was getting no work done tonight. I lay on my back for a change, staring at the ceiling with my hand behind my head as I wrestled with my thoughts. I pushed myself up out of my bed and went to my adjoining bathroom to shower and get ready for bed.

I couldn't get my mind off of John while I shampooed my hair, washed suds off my skin and found myself leaning against the tiles staring off into space. Eventually I managed to convince myself to get out of the spray and dry myself off. I was towel drying my wet hair in some sweats when I heard the bell by my door go.

"It's open," I called and I heard it whoosh open moments later. I looked up from where I was leaning over, drying my hair, to see John walking into the room. I smiled softly at him before tossing my now soaking towel into the hamper beside the bathroom door.

"Hey," he greeted gently. "I see you're still up."

"Looks like you are too," I commented, raising an eyebrow with a slight smirk. I couldn't quite work out what it was that he'd shown up here for but I had some ideas. He caught my look and rolled his eyes.

"Easy, I know what you're thinking I'm here for, but that's not it," he said and paused. Bouncing an idea around in his head. "But I could be persuaded…"

"So what are you here for?" I smiled and perched on the edge of my bed.

"You left dinner kinda early," he said. "You okay?"

"It's nothing," I said, shaking my head and bringing a knee up to my chest. He frowned, coming over to sit on the bed beside me. He raised an eyebrow at me as I tried to give him a neutral, uncaring expression.

"Listen, you can talk to me about anything, you know?" he said.

"I know," I sighed. "There's nothing bothering me.."

"Look if this is about earlier I.." he started and I reached out, throwing an arm on his with an audible slapping sound.

"No! No.." I said awkwardly. "No, it's not that or anything to do with that at all."

"Oh," he said. I chuckled.

"No, I had fun earlier," I explained.

"Good." He said, nodding. "It was certainly interesting…"

"You could call it that," I scoffed. "No, I'm just… I'm mad actually. About Ellia. I'm mad at myself. I was just too quick to believe she wasn't like the others and I kept trying to bring her back in after the retrovirus affected her badly when I should have just shot her. I had so many openings that I didn't take, and because of that, you got hurt. Yeah, okay, you're fine but you might not have been. And it was my calls regardless of what you were prepared to do, that put you in that situation. So I'm mad at myself about that, I feel guilty and I'm also annoyed I'm not as strong as I used to be. And that I'm training but it's not coming back to me as easily as it used to."

"Okay," he said slowly, nodding. "That's heavy."

"Which is why I chose not to make it dinner table conversation," I explained. He reached up and pushed some hair behind my ear.

"I can't tell you not to feel guilty, or angry with yourself over your choices and your actions," he started. "But I can tell you, that I'm not angry with you over your decision not to use lethal force until absolutely necessary. And I'm not angry with you because I decided to step in when I decided it was necessary and I don't think you're to blame that it became necessary. And as for you believing Ellia was different, I think she could have been, had the serum actually worked. And you shouldn't be angry with yourself for still trying to see the best in people. The fact of the matter is, nothing happened. Rodney got a splinter, and everyone else is fine."

"Well, I'm actually a little bruised.." I pointed out, faking annoyance.

"That too," he agreed, smiling. "And as for the training front, I'm always happy to give you some extra hours in the training room, practice with you. And I'm sure Ronon would be happy too, you held your own against him before, and he respects you for that. He likes you, not that he says much."

"I just hope the next Wraith I see I can just shoot," I said.

"I promise you, next time you see a Wraith, you can shoot it," he told me. "We don't get many vegetarian Wraith in the Pegasus, I think we had a one off."

"I'll hold you to that," I said with a wry smile.

He looked down longingly at me, a flicker of movement between my eyes and my lips, once, twice, thrice. He pushed some hair behind my ear again and held a hand on my jaw. Just as he was about to pull his hand away I pushed up and forward, pressing my lips to his. He kissed me back softly, cupping my jaw and massaging the thumb of his other hand into the base of my neck. I moaned softly and he pushed me down onto my bed.

"I swear I didn't come over here for this," he said, pulling back breathless.

"I believe you," I replied. "Would you prefer we did something else?"

"I would," he said after a moment of thought. "If at all just to prove to you this isn't all I want from you."

"I know it's not all you want from me, John, you're my friend," I said before I got up. I walked over to my desk and opened the drawer, pulling out a portable DVD player. I looked back at him with a smile and held up a DVD folder. I unzipped it and flicked through the pages. "So, Mars Attacks or The Mummy?"

"Mars Attacks," he said and I beamed.

"Good choice," I replied and popped the DVD in the drive and pushed the button, watching it close again. I walked over with the small, laptop sized device and perched on the bed. He settled himself at the head of the bed, getting comfy amongst the pillows and I crawled up after him, laying down with my back against his chest. I lifted the portable DVD player onto our laps and hit the play button from the menu. There was shifting occasionally but by the time the ads had finished, and the movie was half way through, John was still. Either engrossed in the movie, or thought.

I'd loved this movie as a teenager, there was just something so simple and hilarious about a species of alien that could be defeated by yodelling. I'd started getting nightmares about Aliens after something I'd seen something I wasn't supposed to and my dad took me to see it on one of his free weekends. Aliens could be scary, horrible threats, like the Wraith or they could be goofy, kinda useless, like the Martians or that one that could be taken out by Head & Shoulders in Evolution.

John absentmindedly stroked my arm with his fingers, still nonverbal and face expressionless. I imagined he probably had a lot weighing on his mind. Part of it I'm sure, was the conversation we'd just had, part of it was what he'd said about not only wanting me for our after hours activities, and having part of the retrovirus breaking down in his system had to be pretty scary. I doubted very much he was actually watching the Tim Burton classic.

I could feel my eyes getting heavier, which was weird as I'd already done a fair amount of sleeping today. And I almost never slept. I just drank coffee and passed out when it lost all effect. I yawned and turned slightly on my side, facing away from the movie. The arm around me shifted to stroke my side instead of my arm. I slid my hand up the arm, spotting a weirdly shaped dark shadow. Like he had something stuck to him. He flinched when my fingers made contact.

"What the?" he said, snapping his head down to me.

"There's something here," I said.

"I know I felt it," he said and moved to turn on one of the lights. We looked down at his arm and found a large, purulent sore where the puncture wound had been and disappeared from. Purple tendrils radiated outward from the centre. I reached out to poke it with a single finger but he swatted my hand away. He reached a hand up to his earpiece.

"Hey, Doc… this is Sheppard," he said.

"Yes, Colonel," Beckett said through John's radio, which I was close enough to catch.

"We may have to bump up our first check in," he replied.

"Do you want me to come with?" I asked, looking up at his concerned face with worry.

"Nah," he replied, giving me a reassuring smile. "It'll just raise questions. Thank you though."

"It might be for the best. You leave any later and someone might start to wonder why you're not in your own room."

"I'll let you know what happens," he told me, kissing me on the cheek and climbing up off the bed. He walked towards the door without looking back, stepping through it and heading off to the transporter down the hall. I watched the door whoosh closed and shut the portable DVD player, not feeling like watching the rest of the movie.

I sighed and threw myself down on my face. So much had changed in the space of a couple of days. First there was the night at the tavern and then there was today…

Evelyn O'Neill what have you gotten yourself into?