I hope you enjoy this chapter!
They got home, Carina guiding Maya into the bedroom. Vic and Andy were following in Andy car so they weren't home yet. Maya climbed into bed.
"Don't you want to change Bella?" Carina asked, walking over to the dresser to get something other than her work clothes to change into when she saw the two notes on Maya's dresser.
"Wait, Carina," Maya said, remembering what was on the dresser a second too late, "Oh…. Sorry. You shouldn't have to see that."
Carina took a deep breath, trying not to cry.
"I'm sorry," Maya said, "Come here."
Carina pulled on one of Maya's t-shirt before climbing into bed with her girlfriend, the blonde wrapping her arms around her.
"I'm sorry," Maya said again.
"You don't have to apologize Bella," Carina said, shaking her head as she leaned up and gave Maya a kiss on the cheek, "I'm sorry you felt that way."
The just stayed curled up in bed together for the next ten minutes until Vic and Andy walked into the apartment. The two firefighters came into the room. Vic carefully avoided the bathroom, sitting down on the opposite side of the bed.
"You guys don't have to be here," Maya mumbled, rubbing her swollen eyes.
"I don't think I could be anywhere but here right now," Andy said, looking at her best friend.
"Same," Vic said as Carina leaned over and kissed Maya's forehead.
"Well, I'm probably going to sleep," Maya said, "I feel so sick right now."
"We will be here when you wake up," Carina said, holding Maya close.
The three other women just sat in the bed quietly for a long time.
"I'm going to go make us some food," Andy said after almost two hours.
Vic and Carina just nodded.
"How are you doing?" Carina asked Vic as the young firefighter looked at her roommate.
"I don't know," Vic said, taking a shaky breath, "It's a lot to process."
"If you need to go, you can," Carina said.
"Not tonight," Vic said, shaking her head, "I don't think I could leave her after… Tomorrow, I might go to Travis's. I don't know. I don't know if Maya wants anyone else to know, but I need to talk to him. Finding her, like that… it was terrifying."
"You're the one who found me?" Maya asked, startling both women, "Vic, I'm so sorry."
"Maya," Vic said, not realizing her friend was awake.
"You can tell Trav," Maya said, "I don't care. You can tell everyone I guess. I'm so sorry I put you through this. I'm so sorry I put all of you through this."
"Maya, you do not need to keep apologizing," Vic said, looking at her friend, "I do not blame you for any of this."
Maya just buried her head under the covers, Carina rubbing her back.
"I have food," Andy said, coming into the room with two plates.
"Bella," Carina said, "Come on. You need to eat."
"I don't feel well," Maya said, shaking her head as she poked it out from under the covers.
"You need to eat," Carina said gently, "I will get you whatever you want."
"Nothing sounds good," Maya said, "Everything today… My stomach's just really unsettled."
"How about some juice?" Carina said, knowing Maya needed some calories in her, "You need something Bella."
"Fine," Maya agreed, knowing what Carina was right.
"I'll get it," Vic said, getting out of the bed.
Andy came back in with another plate and Vic followed with a glass of juice.
The rest of the night was spent in much the same way, no one talking much. Maya took her sedative and fell asleep around nine.
Andy and Vic both fell asleep around eleven, leaving Carina in a very crowded bed wide awake. She just stared down at her girlfriend who was asleep in her arms, trying not to think about what her life would be if things had gone differently today. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes as she reflected back on the day, trying hard not to wake anyone around her because somehow she was in a bed with three other women. It wasn't the first time it had happened, but this was by far the least fun.
As Carina tried to wipe her tear, she felt Andy stir beside her.
"Carina," Andy said, realizing her friend's girlfriend was still awake and crying, "Hey, are you alright?"
"Not really," Carina said, shaking her head.
"Anything I can do?" Andy asked, sitting up.
"Just being here for Maya is enough," Carina said, "Knowing there are people looking out for her is comforting. I am so terrified to leave her again, at least right now. I made this therapy appointment for tomorrow while I was waiting to see how Maya was, but I think I might cancel it because I can't leave her."
"Don't do that," Andy said, shaking her head, "Let me help you. I can send out some texts and make sure someone is here with her for the next few days, if you want."
"But you all work at the same time," Carina said, wiping at her eyes.
"But your friends don't," Andy said, shrugging, "I will make it work."
"Thank you," Carina said, eyes fill with fresh tears.
"She's my best friend," Andy said, looking over to where the blonde was sound asleep, "Without her, I don't know what my life would look like, but I can tell you from the two months I shut her out after she became captain that it is not good."
Just then, Maya started moving around in bed, soft cries escaping her lips.
"Maya," Carina said, gently, knowing this was a nightmare, "Hey. Wake up. It's ok. You're ok."
Maya's eyes opened and she gasped for breath.
"Hey," Carina said as Vic woke up from all the commotion, "It's ok. Eyes on me. I am right here. Breath."
The panic attack lasted about five minutes before Maya crashed into Carina, sobbing.
"Shhh," Carina cooed softly, "You are safe."
Andy, who had gotten up a minute ago, came back in with a glass of water for Maya. Vic was just sitting there, her hand on her friend's back as the blonde woman cried. The four of them just sat on the bed for a few more minutes before Maya looked around.
"You guys should all go to bed," she said, wiping her eyes, "I'm fine. You shouldn't be kept up because I can't get it together enough to sleep without having a panic attack."
"Maya," Vic said, getting her friend to look at her, "Today, I thought I was going to watch you stop breathing right in front of me. The fact that you are here to keep me awake tonight is something I am so grateful for that I don't care if I don't sleep at all tonight as long as I am spending my time with you."
"Don't push us away Mai," Andy said, reaching over and rubbing Maya's arm, "We all want to be here. We are choosing to be here not because you are forcing us, but because we love you. Sleep be damned."
Maya just nodded a little, rubbing her swollen eyes. They spent the rest of the night just lying in bed, all four of them drifting in and out of sleep at various points.
Around 3 am, Carina gave Maya another sedative because she needed the rest, and after that, everyone slept pretty well for a few hours.
Around 7, Andy had to leave for couple's counseling which she had all but forgotten about, promising Carina that she would get a schedule together of who could be with Maya when over the next five or so days.
Around 8, everyone was awake for the day. Maya stayed in bed, not having the energy to get up while Vic and Carina headed into the kitchen.
"I am going to head to Travis's," Vic said as she handed Carina a much needed cup of coffee, "Unless you need me to stay."
"I have therapy at 9," Carina said, biting her lip, "And I really don't want to leave her alone. I think I'm just going to call and reschedule."
Just then, there was a small knock on the door, Carina going to answer it.
"Amelia?" the confused doctor asked as her friend came into the apartment, "What are you doing here?"
"Andy texted me and said you were going to cancel your therapy appointment to stay with Maya," Amelia said, setting down a box on the counter, "And asked if I would come over and hang out with Maya so you can go there and Vic can go to Travis's."
"Seriously?" Carina said, her eyes filling with tears.
"Yeah," Amelia said, nodding, "Carina, yesterday was traumatic as hell for all of you, and you all need space to process that is not this apartment."
"Maya's not going to like having a babysitter," Vic said, shaking her head.
"She can deal with it," Amelia said, "Now, both of you, go get ready. Oh, also, donuts are for you two because what is better for an emotional hangover than fried sugar."
"You can come here whenever you want," Vic said, grabbing a donut out of the box, "Thanks."
"Thank you Amelia," Carina said, looking into the box but not taking a donut, "I'm not really feeling up to one now, but later for sure."
"Whatever you need," Amelia said, smiling at Carina as she went into the bedroom, smiling a little when she heard gentle snores coming from Maya.
She quickly dressed and got ready before gently kissing Maya's forehead. The blonde stirred a little, smiling at Carina.
"I'll be back later Bella," Carina said softly, rubbing the blonde's back a little before she left.
A few minutes after Cairn left, Maya was startled by her door opening.
"What are you doing here?" Maya asked as Amelia walked into her room.
"I am hanging out with my friend's girlfriend," Amelia said, plopping down on the bed next to Maya.
"I don't need a babysitter," Maya said, glaring at Amelia.
"I'm not here to babysit you," Amelia said, pulling out her laptop, "Trust me, I do enough of that for Mer. I have work to get done."
"Then why are you here?" Maya asked, still glaring.
"Because Carina needed to go to therapy," Amelia said, "And Vic needed to go to Travis's and someone needed to be here with you so I offered."
"I don't need anyone here with me," Maya bristled, "I'm fine."
"Whatever you say," Amelia said, "But Carina wouldn't go to therapy if you were going to be alone and she really needed to go so I'm here with you."
"So now Carina doesn't trust me to be alone?" Maya said, deflating a little, "I'm never going to be able to be alone again?"
"No," Amelia said, setting her laptop aside, "Maya, right now, you are not ok. And that's alright. And you might be fine by yourself, but Carina needs to know you are ok and for right now, that means someone being here with you. Yesterday really scared Carina, and I'm not saying that to make you feel bad or guilty or anything, but I just want you to know where she's coming from. It's not that she doesn't trust you, it's that she doesn't trust your mental illness."
"I guess," Maya said, pulling her blankets up.
"I know none of this is fun or what you want," Amelia said, "I've been there. It does get better. Now, would you like me to keep talking or shut up?"
Maya just pulled the blanket over her head and Amelia laughed, going back to her charting. She forced some food into Maya around noon, but other than that, she left the blonde alone.
Around one, there was another knock on the door.
"Who is that?" Maya asked, looking at Amelia.
"My replacement," Amelia said, "I do have a boyfriend and baby at home to get back to."
"I don't need a babysitter," Maya complained as Amelia went and answered the door, Travis following her in.
"What are you doing here?" Maya asked, glaring at her friend.
"I'm just here to spend some time with my captain," Travis said as Amelia gathered up her stuff.
"Bye Maya," the neurosurgeon called, "If you need anything, just text me."
"What I need is to be left alone," Maya grumbled as Travis sat down next to her.
"Well, that's not going to happen today," Travis said, "I brought some movies. Or we can just sit here in awkward silence. Whatever you want."
"I want you to leave," Maya said, glaring at him, "I'm fine."
"And that might be true," Travis said, "Although I highly doubt it after what Vic told me. And that's ok Maya. It's ok to not be fine all the time."
"Shouldn't you be with Vic?" Maya asked, desperate to get Travis to leave.
"She is having lunch with Jennifer today," Travis said, "And Carina had something come up at work so you are stuck with me."
Maya glared at him, but because he was Montgomery, she couldn't keep it up.
"What did Vic tell you?" Maya asked, not liking the vulnerability of having people know things about her without her knowing what it was.
She was a private person with some of the worst control issues in the world who curated everyone's views on her as much as she could.
"She told me what happened yesterday," Travis said quietly, "How she found you and everything after that."
Maya nodded, not looking at Travis.
"Maya, you know that you are important to me, right?" Travis said, "Your dedication to your job and ability to push us all to be our best is admirable. And it's nice to be at the same station as a captain who is part of the Seattle Fire Queers because I know you won't judge me, and you will stand up for our right to be who we are. In our line of work, I have always been a little afraid of being harassed for my sexual orientation, but since you became our captain, I know that even if that happens, my boss has my back, and that is no small thing. I selfishly need you around Maya so don't try to go anywhere."
Maya was crying by the time Travis was done, and he tentatively put a hand on her back, just being there for her.
"Sorry," Maya said as the tears tapered off.
"I don't mind," Travis said, shaking his head, "Tears are good, healing, healthy. And Maya, as much as I know you hate all of this, having us here, we are all just coming because we love you, and we love Carina. All she wants, and all all of us want, really, is for you to be safe and be able to fight the illness you have, but you have to be here to do that. Carina is only thinking about you, Maya. Don't push her away. You two are made for each other."
Maya nodded, wiping her eyes.
"You said something about movies?" Maya asked after another minute.
"Yeah," Travis said, "I've got Rent, Newsies, Grease."
"You pick," Maya said, shrugging.
The lack of any kind of joke at his choices worried Travis, but he put Rent on and the two of them just sat there, watching the movie. When that one finished, Travis forced Maya to eat one of the blueberry muffins he had brought before starting another movie.
Around 6, the front door opened a second before Carina appeared in the doorway.
"Hey," Carina said, smiling at her girlfriend and Travis as she walked in.
"Hey," Maya said, giving Carina a tired smile, "How was your day?"
"Long," Carina said, "I was just going to go to my therapy appointment and then maybe catch up on some of my charts, but instead, a bus hit a Lamaze studio and I ended up delivering multiple babies, most of whom were premature."
"Sorry it was such a long day," Maya said, frowning as Travis got his stuff together.
"Well, I will leave you two to your evening," Travis said, "There is some veggie and rice soup in the fridge for you both. Oh, and Vic is spending the night with me tonight, just a heads up."
"Thanks Travis," Maya said, rubbing her eyes as he headed to the door.
"Any time," Travis said, "Feel better Captain. I'll see you soon. Bye Carina."
"Bye," Carina called, poking her head out of the bathroom where she was taking off her makeup, "Thanks for everything."
Travis let himself out as Carina came back into the bedroom, changing out of her work clothes and into pajamas.
"I am going to go get us some dinner," Carina said, leaving the bedroom, coming back ten minutes later with some of Travis's soup and some bread.
"You need to eat," Carina said, handing Maya the bowl.
Maya nodded, taking a small bite.
"How was your day?" Carina asked as she ate her dinner.
"I got to be babysat by Amelia and Travis," Maya grumbled a little.
"I'm sorry," Carina said, not quite looking at Maya, "I know you do not need to be watched, but…".
"No," Maya said, shaking her head, "I get it. And you're probably right. I probably shouldn't be alone right now. I have an appointment tomorrow at 10 to see Dr. Lewis at her office so I don't need to be watched for that hour."
"I have to work tomorrow," Carina said, nodding, "But Jo is going to come over in the morning. She can drive you if you want."
"I guess," Maya nodded, putting her bowl of soup on her nightstand, having eaten maybe half of it.
"I'm sorry all of this is happening to you Bella," Carina said as Maya's head dropped onto her shoulder.
"I'm sorry it's happening to you," Maya said, looking up at her girlfriend, "You shouldn't have to deal with this. I'm giving you an out. You can go and live your life without dealing with all my mess and if I ever figure this out, we could try again then."
"Is that what you want?" Carina asked, putting her own bowl down, her blood running cold, "Do you not want to be with me?"
"I just want what's best for you," Maya said, biting her lip, "And I don't want to lose you because I don't know how to do this."
"Maya, I want to be with you," Carina said, "Even through the hard parts and the pain because that just makes the other times that much better. I do not know how to do this either, but I want to try because you are worth it."
Maya just let out a small sob as both she and Carina wrapped their arms around each other, holding tightly and knowing that even if this wasn't easy, it was worth it.
There it was. I needed to write something a little lighter after the heaviness of the last chapter. I think the next chapter is going to be Carina's therapy session as well as Maya's. Any ideas for this story, or any other Marina related prompts are always happily accepted!