Everything happened in an instant. Pj blamed her shock. She wasn't shocked about the Shop crashing the party; she had almost expected that. She wasn't shocked about Owen's betrayal; she was just hurt. And she wasn't shocked about finally reuniting with her parents; she was relieved and ecstatic. No, she was shocked about what she had done. Not simply surprised or even frightened by her actions, but in shock. Her body was trembling, her heart was racing, her breaths were erratic, and her mind couldn't process a thing. She couldn't believe she had let that thing she had been holding back take control of her. She was vicious and cruel- the monster she always feared she was. Owen's blood covered her hands, and it wasn't going to come off easily.
Pj somehow managed to follow Max out of the junkyard. Vaguely, she recalled her parents swearing to rendezvous with them at her safehouse in a couple of hours. She was mostly focused on getting to their getaway vehicle before she collapsed. If she could focus at all. Her thoughts and senses were splintered. She kept hearing Owen's screams. He wasn't Owen, though. He was Sam. She had to remind herself of that. Sam turned on them. Sam was planning on killing her mother. What she had done was justified. Or at least rational. Regardless, she still felt like throwing up and sobbing.
Everyone escaped the junkyard without problem. It seemed that way to Pj at least, as Felicity led them out of there. Her exhaustion either made her shock worse, or she was more fucked up than she thought. She wasn't completely sure how all of them got into the car. But she was in the backseat with Oliver and James, while Kara sped off and Max shouted directions. Pj tried to settle herself, placing her head between her knees. The next thing she knew, however, was arriving at her safehouse. James had wrapped his jacket around her, and Oliver had removed the weapons she had clutched in her hands. She blinked sleep out of her green eyes, striving to adjust. Again, she blamed her shock. It caused her to collapse in exhaustion and not register a thing. But she could shake it off then. She could keep moving forward.
The team waited until they climbed the stairs and put their gear away before talking. It was some vain attempt to collect their thoughts and emotions. They were ragged and torn, and just needed a goddamn minute. Crumbled into piles on the floor, petting and scratching Missy's fur, the team broke down what had happened on the mission. They avoided discussing their parents and Sam. It was too much. Instead, Max honed in on where they got the intel for the information leak, "What contact, Pj? Who told you?"
"We overheard it. Ben's boss told these two women," Pj's voice didn't sound like her own as she responded. She thought the sleep she caught in the car would've done her some good. If not that, then scrubbing the blood off her hands and petting her dog should've fixed things. She should've felt better. Something inside her still felt empty, though. She couldn't look at her team, and she could barely speak. All she could do was stare at the floor, gripping tight to Missy.
"Who?" Trying to get her to look her in the eye, Kara scooter closer to Pj. She was soft and gentle in her approach. Yet all she got was an absentminded shrug in response. She glanced at Max for an explanation. She, Oliver, James, and Felicity had no idea what happened to the Mears-Bishops and Ovechkins out there. Dealing with the buyer was simple for the Pierces; he gave up his information, and they took him out of the problem. And the Birkhoffs could secure a hack in their sleep. They didn't have to grapple with Owen/Sam, however. That range of emotions was a hellscape they hadn't even begun to experience yet.
Max was still trying to process all of that shit himself. He understood why Pj had shut down. Witnessing Owen like that and seeing his sister and their parents go feral, he was so close to shutting down as well. So he didn't push her. He let her slowly gather her thoughts until she was ready to share them. Distancing herself like that was how she was coping, "Probably Mom and Alex."
"Alright. But who's Ben? What boss?" Kara clarified. The team never got the chance to ask how their parents had also discovered the information leak. Although, it made sense that they had gotten it from the same source. Once tails could be successfully shaken loose and resources were gathered, their parents would meet back up with them. They'd be reunited; every question would have an answer. The team just had to collect themselves first. They were still healing after Pj's rogue stint after all.
"Triad," Was the only explanation Pj could give. She didn't have the boss' name. And she honestly didn't want to delve into her working relationship with the Triad. It was beneficial at the time. She got information, and was able to create her own 'wall of crazy'. She got far in her fight going solo like she had. But she was going to need everyone if she was going to bring it all home. Even in her shocked state, she was able to recognize that.
"You trusted the Triad?" Oliver was too tired to shoot to his feet, but he did stare at Pj bewildered. She barely lifted her shoulders into another shrug. She didn't understand why they were so focused on the past. They needed to keep pushing forward. They had their parents, and some kind of money trail on the Shop to follow. She and her connections didn't matter.
At least not to Pj. Her team, however, was concerned. The Triad wasn't a reliable source; they were a criminal organization. They could've been corrupted by the Shop, and gave them a bad tip. Oliver, Max, Kara, and Felicity were about to admonish Pj about that. Not like it would've worked. She was too far gone to listen to them. James decided to settle everyone. He had met Ben. It was brief, but he could tell he cared about Pj. They could trust him. Besides, the two of them only went to the Triad because of the black book they recovered, "Look. The intel has been solid. And we found the lead on the info leak in the black book."
"Let me see it," Felicity had heard some black books were on flashdrives. If it was electronic, she could work her tech magic on it. Except, Pj didn't move from her spot. James had to be the one to grab the drive and hand it over. He wished she would open up and talk with them. The team could help her through her shock. He could help her. They were all reeling, they'd understand what she was thinking.
Yet Pj was trying so desperately not to think. Take down the Shop, follow that money trail, kill Amanda, go home. That was all she would allow herself to think. Focus on the present and future, not the past- not what she did to Owen -Sam- whatever the fuck his name was. She had to breathe. Petting Missy helped to keep her in the moment. If only her mind wasn't a tortuous thing. It replayed Sam's screams, and the confession that he planned on killing her mom. He was going to let the shop kill his friend, "A long planned trap."
"What?" Max hardly heard the mutter. The blood was off of Pj's hands, but he noticed she continued to glance at them. He didn't blame her for her actions. He had wanted to hurt Sam too after he admitted to selling out his team. She and Nikita were right to punish him for his actions. If only they could stop thinking of him as Owen. They didn't leave Owen for dead, it was Sam. He was Sam. As soon as they thought like that, they wouldn't be so shaken. That felt like it was going to take forever, though.
"It wasn't spur of the moment. Shop planned this," Pj explained. James was correct back at the junkyard. It was all too easy. Discovering the leads and Sam's betrayal shouldn't have been handed to them like that. With the Shop they had to sacrifice everything for an advantage. Instead, it was given to them almost effortlessly. They wanted them to know about the information leak. Well, not them exactly- their parents.
"These black books are updated regularly. If they expected Nikita to grab this, they could've baited her," Building off of Pj's point, Felicity added what she knew about the Shop's not so little book of secrets. It was possible the group had tracked their parents' movements and laid out a trap for all of them. Their enemies would've been taken out in one swoop. They even used one of their own against them. The plan must've been a long term gambit with Owen/Sam involved. Unfortunately, the Shop had the patience to wait it out.
"They did. The manager messed up," Pj mumbled. James helped her expand upon that, explaining what had occurred at the underground fighting ring. In hindsight, it was a good thing they had missed Alex and Nikita. They were able to get the intel instead, and meet them on the mission. Everyone was reunited and more or less safe. Their parents still found out about the info leak and about Sam. But that had more to do with Ryan. He was always able to catch onto the Shop's plans. The team would be useless without him.
They were beginning to believe they'd be useless without Owen as well. He trained them, took care of them, helped them. He was at the beginning of the war with Nikita. She had saved him. No one could wrap their heads around his motivation for betrayal. So what his mind was altered. That was Amanda's fault, not theirs. And they wanted out of that fight too, but money wasn't going to get them there. Their family would. Kara did her best to swallow down her tears as she asked, "How did they turn Owen?"
"Amanda," The venom in Pj's voice appeared to have broken her out of her fog. She was livid. But not at Sam anymore. She was going to make Amanda pay for every single fucking thing she had done to her family. Oliver and Max matched her anger, glad to have someone they could focus all of their complicated emotions on. Felicity dug into the electronic black book, hoping for anything on Amanda. It was a long shot, but one worth pursuing. And Kara fought back her tears, determined to come up with a game plan. They could take the intel they had and use it to end their war once and for all.
James, on the other hand, was attempting to look to the positives. Yes, he hated Amanda with every ounce of his being. Yet their team wasn't going to have to go it alone any longer. They could rely on others. They had the best support system in the world back in their lives, "We have our parents again. We can work together."
Something about that made Pj bolt out of the room, Missy on her heels. Tears overcame her, and she had to get out of there. She wouldn't let the others see her breakdown. Breakdown over what, however, she had no idea. She thought it was her mom and dad. She was glad they had returned to her. Yet she was terrified for what they thought about her actions. Like she told James, she was supposed to have had better. She wasn't supposed to have been like her mom and dad. And yet, she had the same darkness as Nikita. That alone had her running to the roof to hide. She couldn't imagine how disappointed her parents must've been with how she turned out.
Sobbing over pretty much everything wore her out. Pj was glad no one had followed her (James had tried, but Max said they needed to give her space). She didn't want her friends to see her so broken. She had to remain strong. She couldn't let it all weigh her down; she had to continue to fight in every sense of the word. Exhaustion dragged her back into sleep, however. Missy curled tight to her while she slumped against a wall and passed out. She wasn't sure how long she was asleep, but she was tired enough not to notice steps coming up the stairs. Until the intruder had joined her on the roof, she was unaware of their presence. Missy woke Pj with a startled bark. She readied herself to fight as quickly as she could with sleep numb limbs.
"Shh. Sweetie. It's just us," With gentle hands and a soft voice, Nikita calmed Pj. She took a moment to register what was going on. Her mom and dad were standing in front of her, smiling past their strain and exhaustion. They made it. They really were back. Pj crashed into them, fresh tears in her green eyes. Her mom and dad returned the hug without hesitation. Missy tried to join in, earning herself some distracted pets. How could they focus on anything else when they had the time to embrace and never let go.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt him," Soon, Pj expressed her hurt through a quiet sob. However, all of those terrible thoughts didn't have a chance to torment her again. Nikita and Michael held their daughter tighter, whispering their love and support. What she had done to Sam didn't change how they saw her. To them, she was still perfect.
Nikita emphasized the point by referencing her own darkness and how she had battled past it for all those years. She had her family to help her see the light, just as her daughter did, "Yes you did. I did too. But that doesn't matter. Nothing matters but us right now."