Chapter 12

Vala told herself that she wasn't going to go and rant to Sam. Yet, here she was, walking down the corridors of the SGC that led to Sam's lab. Vala hoped her anger would be melted and gone by the time she arrived. No such luck. She stood in the doorway and her anger still remained inside her. Sam had yet to notice her presence, so she still had time to leave. She should leave. It wasn't fair to Sam if Vala did end up ranting to her. Mind made up, she decided to leave.

"Vala?" Sam halted her in her retreat. Too late. "Everything okay?"

Damn it! Bad Vala! She berated herself but turned her attention to the Major. "Hey Sam," she greeted innocently with a wave.

Sam raised her eyebrows at Vala's attempt at innocence. Something was obviously wrong. "What's wrong?"

Vala debated whether or not she should lie or blow Sam off but one look at the woman and Vala knew she wouldn't get away with it. "I know we don't know each other well and that your loyalty probably lie with him, but you were always the one I went to when we fought or when he said something cruel. I know you're not her, but you look like her, you sound like her, you act like her, and you're so much like her. I miss my best friend."

"What happened?" Sam asked softly, focusing on the issue at hand.

"Daniel and I had another fight and I'm so angry at him right now that I want to hit something, preferably him," she admitted, taking a seat and leaned her arms on top of Sam's desk. "I won't put you in the middle of it. It just a habit to come to you, an instinct. I didn't even realize that I was headed here at first and when I did, I couldn't seem to stop myself."

Sam appreciated Vala's willingness to keep her out of it. But Vala had no one besides the kids and she very well couldn't rant to them. Sam had no idea what she would do without Janet and couldn't fathom what Vala was going through now. She had already accepted that she was going to get involved. Plus, she was curious what Daniel did to piss the woman off. "Lay it on me," she volunteered.

Vala hesitated for a moment before explaining that she was trying to establish a new routine, to find some normalcy in her life by doing something she used to do: bring Daniel coffee, and sometimes food, in the morning. She mentioned how she used to tease Daniel and annoy him to his breaking point. "I never thought he'd react the way he did. I guess that only supports my claim that he is so different from my Daniel," she said mainly to herself, anger evident in her voice.

Sam was still slightly confused. She had no idea how Daniel reacted or what he said that angered Vala so much. "How did he react? What did he say that was so hurtful?"

Vala stared at something behind Sam. "He told me that he wouldn't be a stand in for my Daniel, that he wouldn't be his replacement, implying that any Daniel would do for me, that I could so easily replace my husband, like I didn't love him. There was more yelling, mainly on my part, before I left. If I had stayed, I probably would have hit him," she spat out bitterly. Talking to Sam in the past had always calmed her down but it wasn't working this time. She still felt the anger inside and the urge to hit something was even stronger now.

"Oh God, please tell me he didn't," Sam breathed out as she closed her eyes and lowered her head. She had said to herself and didn't expect Vala to reply. What the hell, Daniel? "Vala, I'm sure he didn't mean it," she tried to excuse him, though she wasn't entirely sure she believed it herself.

Vala shrugged. "What's done is done," she replied, and abruptly stood. "I'm going to go hit something now," and stormed out of the room.

"Oh boy."

Daniel gave her an hour before he sought her out. He figured it would be easy to find her: he was mistaken. He looked everywhere he could thought she might be: the commissary, her room, Jack or Sam's quarters with the kids, with Jack and the kids in his office, and finally, he headed for Sam's lab – the last place he could think of.

He struck out again as he took in Sam's lab with only her in it. He sighed and caught the attention of his friend. "Have you seen Vala?" he asked

Sam turned her attention back to her computer. "She was here about an hour ago," was all she volunteered.

Daniel waited for more but realized that she wasn't going to give him more. "Do you know where she went?"

"No."

Daniel frowned at her standoffish words. "Sam, everything okay?"

"Did you really imply that Vala was attempting to replace her barely dead husband with you?" she asked and pierced him with a stern look. "Please tell me she misunderstood or interpreted it wrong." When Daniel hung his head, Sam cringed and rubbed her forehead. "Oh God, Daniel. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I regretted it the moment after I said it," he admitted.

"Why would you even say something like that?" she demanded. "God, Daniel, she just lost her husband, she lost everyone. She's all alone! She just wanted some resemblance of normalcy. She wanted control over something in her life when everything has been so crazy and out of her control for so long. Why the hell, Daniel, would you speak to her like that?"

"I don't know!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands up. "It's like every time she's around me, I can't stop myself from saying something horrible or hurtful. I say the quietest, meanest thoughts that pop in my head for a split second. All control seems to go out the window!"

Sam shook her head at his excuse. "Not good enough," she referred to his excuse, his explanation. "You have amazing self-control, start using it. Think before you speak."

"I'll try," he vowed and waited a few beats before speaking again. "Do you know where she is? I've looked everywhere I could think of."

"I don't know, but I know she wants to be left alone so leave her alone."

"I have to make things right, Sam."

Sam looked at him. He seemed sincere and she had never known Daniel to be outright cruel but that still didn't excuse his behavior and actions. "She told me she was going to go hit something. I don't know what that means, but I really think you should leave her alone. Give her time to cool down."

Daniel nodded thoughtfully at her and started backing out of the room. "Thanks, Sam."

It baffled Daniel how long it took to locate her. He had rechecked most of the previous places from earlier and still had no luck. She was good at evading him and it made him wonder if she did this a lot with her husband. When he finally did locate her, it was one of the last places he expected: the gym, punching the hell out of the punching bag.

Her hair was up in a messy ponytail, she had taken off her BDUs jacket and shirt, leaving her in the black tank top, and she was a sweaty mess. He hoped she hadn't spent this entire time boxing…or punching, whatever it was. It had been almost two hours since their fight. She didn't seem tired and didn't appear like she would tire anytime soon.

He slowly walked up to her, unsure of her reaction. "Vala, should you really be doing that in your condition?"

She continued to beat up the bag. "I thought I told you to leave me alone."

Daniel ignored her. "Seriously, is this okay to do? It won't harm you or the baby?"

Vala chuckled ruefully. "So you care about the baby again? Thought you didn't want to be a stand in," she spat out sarcastically then answered his question. "Janet said to avoid stress. Nearly impossible with you so punching the bag, while pretending it's you, helps alleviate the stress. Win-win."

He let out a sigh. "So Janet okayed this?" he was still skeptical. He didn't want her to overtax herself; especially with the scare she had the other day. Or was it yesterday?

"Yes, Janet said it was fine," she grounded out, teeth clenched.

The way she said it made Daniel think for a second. "Our Janet or yours?"

"Does it really matter?" she snapped. "Go away Daniel, before you become my next target."

So dramatic. He refrained from rolling his eyes. "Vala, I really am sorry. I didn't mean it or for it to come out that way, I swear."

Vala stopped punching and kicking the bag and spun around to face him. "I said Leave. Me. Alone," each word said slowly and laced with anger.

"Vala, we have to talk about this," he insisted.

"What is there to talk about? You obviously think very little of me, believing that I'm trying replace my husband not even two months after he's dead," she turned her attentions back to the bag.

"I don't –"

"I just wanted something to feel normal, Daniel. I wanted to feel normal, to do something normal for once," she confessed, not slowing down in her pummeling. "Just go away."

"I'm not going to leave you alone, not until we talk about this. Really talk about this."

It happened so fast that he didn't even know what was happening until he was flat on his back with the wind knocked out of him. Vala had managed to kick his legs out from under him, proceeded to straddle his middle, and pinned his arms to the ground in mere seconds. Completely immobilized by a woman over four months pregnant. Not a proud moment for him. Holy buckets!

She looked down at him, wet, sweaty hair tendrils handing from her face, and breathing hard from her workout. "What part of 'leave me alone' do you not understand?" she bit out. He was still trying to catch his breath and process what just happened. "I meant it, Daniel, and not just for an hour or two. I meant until I'm ready to talk to you, which could be days or weeks. So, one last time: leave me alone or else I'll kick your ass. I've done it before and I can do it again, pregnant or not."

Vala got up from him, pushed away her loose hairs from her face and did a slight spin and kicked the bag with her leg before she resumed beating it. From the corner of her eye, she saw him slowly get up, keeping his attention on her. Whether he was wary that she would attack again or if he wanted to try to talk to her again or an entirely different reason, she didn't know and, frankly, didn't care. She was just pleased he seemed to be listening to her request and left her to her anger management session.

Daniel paused at the entrance and watched with concern for a few more minutes. He wouldn't try again until she was ready but that didn't mean he wouldn't make sure she wasn't okay. The way she went at the bag worried him. Should she really be going at it that hard and for so long? Maybe he would check with Janet to make sure that it actually was okay. It may have been in her reality but that was before everything went to hell there.

Things were different now for her. Everything changed for her and she wasn't in the best of places emotionally and that was bound to have an effect on her pregnancy. But he obviously wasn't helping her at all. In fact, he was certain he was making things worse. He would do as she wished, he wouldn't approach her, or talk to her, but he still would check up on her, covertly of course. Daniel could only hope that she wouldn't be angry with him for long, but he needed to make things right and right now, that started with leaving her alone.

With one last look at her, Daniel left the room, leaving her alone with her punching bag.