Set during S7 'Get It Done'.

...

Spike helped her dig the grave in the empty part of the cemetery. They were both silent as they worked, the ground hard from the night's chill and tree roots. None of the others wanted to come, afraid to leave the house, but Buffy was beyond caring for danger. She lifted Chloe's lifeless body, cold and getting rigid, and placed it easily in the cavity. When he started to cover the corpse with soil, she stood still for a minute, clenching her shovel.

"She was so stupid", she whispered, making Spike stop and look back at her. "This was so stupid."

He didn't know how to respond. "You wanted to-"

"I wanted to", she interrupted, dipping the shovel back into the ground. "I didn't."

...

Later that night, Spike was on top of her, entering her gently, her eyes closed; she kept pulling away from his kisses to draw sharp breaths. Her arm was raised above her head and he held it lightly, supporting himself on his elbow, not wanting to press her down to the bed. It was tender comfort that she craved, the day leaving her shattered. She only held herself together in front of others.

He built the tension slowly, caressing her beautiful body, making sure she felt him close as she reached her release, held onto him, unwilling to let go. He kissed her face until she came back to him, burrowed her face in his chest, hugged him tightly, wordless, tired. He could feel her tears wetting his skin and she pulled away, wiping them down, surprised.

"I don't know why", she excused herself. "I-I liked it. Why am I crying after..?"

"It's okay", he cooed, touching her face. "It just happens sometimes."

She sat up, disturbed by her own reaction and he followed. "It doesn't happen to me." A part of him broke hearing that. "Is this normal?"

"Yeah." He wrapped the covers around them and just sat with her, rubbing her back through the sheets.

"But why?" She kept away from him, afraid his touch will only make it worse. "I can't stop."

"Feminine mystery", he smirked, and she sniffled in response, touching his arm. Because you finally let go.

Someone knocked on her bedroom door and came in before she could answer. They both looked up at Rona and the girl gasped, then closed the door immediately. They heard her run down the stairs.

"Oh God", Buffy whimpered, putting a hand over her face. "I'm so screwed."

"It's alright", Spike held her hand down, catching her eyes. "You're human. They need to remember that."

...

Kennedy raised her head as Rona entered the living room, agitated.

"Did you call her?", she asked her sharply and the girl nodded.

"She'll be down in a sec." Kennedy winced.

"Are they doing it?" Unbelievable.

Rona cleared her throat, sitting down. "No. S-She was crying."

...

Buffy took a few deep breaths, trying to believe him. Then sharply closed her eyes, a horrified expression crossing her features.

"Back when...", she started, old pain resurfacing. "Two lifetimes ago." He listened intently. "When I cried in your crypt." Bloody hell, it's been eons since that happened. "Was that a panic attack?"

He sighed, his face tensing, hoping she wouldn't bring it up. "Yes."

"How did you know... what to do?" Because it was the only thing I could do.

"Dru."

"Ah." Jesus, why hasn't she thought of it? He spent a hundred years with that woman. "It didn't happen again... ever, since then."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Spike, she killed herself in my house."

He clenched his teeth, watching her fall apart, wanting to cry himself.

"I love you", he said weakly, no other words coming to mind.

"I love you too", she sniffled, trying to smile, trying to reach him back. "And apparently it's very touching."

She held herself back together. Dressed up, fixed her hair, then left the room with him to face people downstairs.