And now, for my FAVORITE part of the fanmake! Also, longest chapter. Couldn't figure out where to put any breaks, was on a roll, and in the words of Queen "Don't stop me now, 'Cuz I'm havin' a good time!"
Chapter 13…
With a series of low trumpets, the show was about to start. The opening time for Joker's House of Hilarious Horrors. People in look of a good scare as the year came closer to Halloween flocked to this attraction…even when it was in the middle of a forest in a town that apparently got attacked by a world-twisting disaster.
Immediately, the scares would begin. After two men in garish and gothic-looking clown make-up took their tickets, two creatures sat by and screamed at them.
"BOO, YA BUNCH O' DOPES!" shouted a batlike monster.
"Uh…boo?" asked his partner, a lizard-like demon wielding a pitchfork.
"Boo?" asked the bat monster. It opened its mouth to show it was actually Ben wearing a costume, "That's all ya've got?"
"But Ben, I don't WANT to scare people." Said the lizard monster, who was actually Alice.
"Neither do I, but that's what we've gotta deal with." Ben murmured, "Besides, these people are HERE to be scared. And if we don't do it, we'll get busted."
"O…okay, I'll try. Um…" Alice said, walking over to a couple and letting out a shriek. Immediately, a woman screamed and darted away, "I…don't think this is something my speed."
"At least you don't have to wear THIS." Tulio murmured, gesturing to his makeup, "This. Is. HUMILIATING."
"Was all I could scrounge up. Ya know how hard it is to get goons now they've unionized?" Harley asked as she walked up, her two hyenas next to her.
"So, you have the plan?" Miguel asked.
"Yeah. We make it to the main level, act like we're part of the show, then save Legoshi, Ariel, Fran, and Alf before Joker sets them loose." Ben said.
"And how do we do that?" Alice asked.
"I'm…making this up as we go." Ben said.
Miguel shot Tulio a look, "What? WHAT?!"
"Show's about to start! Come on!" Harley said, running down the halls. Ben, Alice, Miguel, and Tulio ran after her, in heavy costumes but determined.
A crowd of people had gotten to the entrance hall already. According to Joker's plan, the four monsters would be in the ballroom, advertised only as "final act". Between there and the entrance hall were three other rooms, which the plan labeled as "Boring bits/Harley's jobs".
With a sudden flash of light, Joker came out of nowhere in front of the audience. There was the faint sound of music in the back, but they couldn't quite place the source.
"Ladies and gentlemen, boils and ghouls!" Joker proclaimed as he lifted his hands up high, "Step right up! Within these walls lies a ghastly concoction of delight! Horror! Fantasy and terror! Your every wish is my command and your every whimsical desire shall be brought to life! While I guarantee…" he coughed something that sounded like 'not really', "That no harm shall befall you on this night…I warn that there's ALWAYS a price! So, make your way to the ballroom and THE GREATEST SHOW UNEARTHED!"
"Just look scary and chase 'em along." Harley murmured, "This is our cue!"
With that, the people began flocking around, looking for the exit. All the while, Harley "chased" them with her hyenas next to her with Ben and Alice pursuing along the sides while Miguel and Tulio let out a chant that…Tulio was less-than-enthused about.
Miguel and Tulio: La la la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la la
As Ben and Alice made their way through, they saw an explosion as Joker's ghastly face formed.
Joker: The dark carnival is in town
You better be ready
Just follow the parade of dancing skeletons
The room they entered was full of tombstones, resembling a graveyard. Cloaked men flew around overhead and cackled as skeletons and zombies burst from the ground, swiping at the audience. Ben and Alice then sidled away.
Joker: Full of ghoulish delights around every corner
Don't tell your parents you're here
They will soon be mourners
The people were slowly corralled past as the skeletons and zombies stood on their tombstones, shifting back-and-forth in tune with the chorus.
Joker: Welcome to the lower birth
The greatest show unearthed
We appear without a sound
The darkest show around
We will leave you in a daze
Madness, murder, dismay
We will disappear at night
With blood on the concrete
"Ben, I feel so silly." Alice commented.
"Yeah…and I don't think I've seen this many tonsils in all my life." Ben commented.
Miguel and Tulio: La la la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la
Joker's gaseous form manifested in front of the next door as it swung open to show what looked like a hall of mirrors.
Joker: I will be your ticket taker
Come inside, it's a dream!
Enter the funhouse of mirrors
No one can hear you scream!
Ben looked at his reflection and saw it was a skeletal monster breathing fire. This made him recoil before realizing it was a reflection. Alice looked at one of herself…with her parents. Before they suddenly twisted into demons in a fiery hellscape, which made her scream in fright.
Joker: We can supply anything that your heart desires…
But the consequences will surely be dire!
The five followed the crowd through the hall of mirrors, trying to ignore the terrifying, distorted reflections along the way.
Joker: Welcome to the lower birth
The greatest show unearthed
We appear without a sound
The darkest show around
We will leave you in a daze
Madness, murder, dismay
We will disappear at night
With blood on the concrete
The next door led them to the dungeon of some bloodstained castle with seven different cells. One had a man thrown into a snake pit, one had someone being boiled alive, another was being dismembered, the fourth covered in fire and brimstone, the fifth was being force-fed rats and snakes, the sixth was dunked into freezing water, and the seventh was being broken on a wheel.
In the middle of the room was a bloody pentagram, where a large dragon burst from the ground and began breathing fire.
Joker: Come inside
For the ride
Your deepest darkest fears
The best night
Of your life
You're never leaving here
The unknown
The unseen
Is what you're gonna find
Witness this
Witness that
Until you lose your mind!
Ben didn't pay any mind to this. He just ran for the door with the others. Where Joker stood, wearing a straw hat and dancing with a cane.
"He has such a way with words, doesn't he? And look at 'im bust a move…" Harley said with a lovestruck voice.
"Quinn, focus." Tulio snapped.
Joker: Welcome to the lower birth
The greatest show unearthed
We appear without a sound
The darkest show around
We will leave you in a daze
Madness, murder, dismay
We will disappear at night
With blood on the concrete!
Upon the last note, Joker simply vanished as the door swung open. It revealed a large, empty ballroom that the people walked into, already quite scared. Ben was shaking with anticipation. He wanted to find the four monsters and end this nightmare…
"Ladies and gentlemen! Congratulations on making it this far!" Came Joker's voice. From right behind them, a pair of elephants marched, carrying a large platform with a golden pyramid on it. The pachyderms themselves, though, were moving in an oddly sluggish way and the moment they came to the middle of the room, they quickly collapsed.
"Think I doped 'em up a LITTLE too well." Harley murmured.
"But worry not, I saved your darkest terrors for last!" Joker said as Harley slowly led the four around to the back of the pyramid, "I bring to you the most fearsome creatures of your darkest dreams! Horrors from the depths of the ocean and the vastness of space! Mankind's vain attempt at creating life and the monster they keep hidden within! I give you…actual…LIVING…BREATHING…MONSTERS!"
On the last word, the pyramid burst into flames. Within were the four monsters, now on full display and looking horribly inhuman.
Ariel was now not the least bit human. She was covered in greenish-blue scales and had a mouth filled with needle-sharp teeth, wide eyes meant for staring through the dark depths of the ocean, and a head of writhing, red tendrils.
Alf seemed even more alien than he was before. He now walked on all-fours, arms and legs jutting upward like spider-legs, his fur now matted and uneven. His nose had extended into some sort of trunk and, whenever he opened his tooth-filled maw, a pink tendril would lash out.
Though Fran was the most human out of all of them, that only made her more disturbing. Her skin was now a sickly, greenish-yellow color, her hair almost look burned pitch black, and her body was now larger and more misshapen with golden spikes jutting from multiple points of her body. She let loose a feral scream as electricity crackled around her.
The one that disturbed Ben the most, though, was what happened to Legoshi. His friend, the somewhat awkward wolfman was now bulky and his clothes were now ragged, hanging off his matted, gray fur. He roared and snapped at everything around him and his eyes were now a blood red.
The mere sight of these three monsters was enough to send the less-courageous audience members packing. Ben, though, turned away. Everything he had seen from the four…he had gotten to know them. Ariel's perky curiosity, Fran's quiet gentleness, Alf's friendly sarcasm, and Legoshi's awkward politeness…now they were this.
"Ben…Ben, what do we do?" Alice asked, "We need the rest of the plan."
"I…I don't know." Ben choked out.
"And now, for your pleasure, I shall attempt the impossible!" Joker proclaimed as he took out a whip, "I shall attempt to tame the most fearsome of all the monsters! The ultimate set of teeth and claws! The ravenous WOLF MAN!"
Legoshi snarled and roared as he tried to pull himself free.
"Look at me, you four savage brutes! LOOK AT ME!" Joker shouted, a gem in his bow tie glowing brightly. The four monsters' struggling then began to lessen as Joker asserted his control over them, "Remove his shackles!"
Two small men waddled over and removed the bonds from Legoshi. The wolfman remained silent all the while, eyes focused on Joker. Miguel looked over and saw them furtively…doing the same to the other three.
"Um…whatever the plan is, you might want to work on it NOW." Miguel whispered.
"Now, Larry, take two steps toward ME!" Joker said. Legoshi got on all fours and padded towards Joker, "And the rest of you? See those people there? That's DINNER!"
"Oh no!" Tulio cursed. The other three monsters looked at the audience and made to lunge at them. Tulio quickly grabbed onto Alf's chain.
"No, Ariel! Don't do this!" Miguel shouted as he grabbed Ariel's. Ben only grunted as he grabbed onto Fran's. He never really figured how strong Fran was before now, but he almost felt her drag him off his feet.
Joker, though, was laughing uncontrollably as he saw the crowd trying to leave only for the doors to slam shut, trapping them inside.
"You wanted to bring humans and monsters together, Jack! Well, this is what ya get!" He laughed, insanely, "The creatures that scare them now do what I want them to! That's the greatest joke of all, ya bone-headed showman!"
What he didn't notice, though, was one of the bats fluttering past. Its wing accidentally cuffed a button that read 'flares'. The room was immediately hit by a bright light. The monsters stopped for a moment…but they immediately resumed thrashing and roaring. Whatever hold Joker had over them had clearly been dispelled by the flares.
And then Ben remembered the one monster who wasn't chained—Legoshi.
The wolfman shook its head before it looked around. It was surrounded by people, running and screaming in fright. But there was also one person nearby—the clown. The clown who did something bad. The werewolf couldn't remember what it was…but it made it angry. And hungry. And those could be settled right now.
The Joker apparently realized this and began preparing his crystal again, muttering with a panicked voice, "Wait, wait, hold…hold on!"
Legoshi lashed out with his claws, knocking the crystal out of Joker's tie. Reasserting control was no longer an option. Joker yelled as he took out a pistol and took aim. He pulled the trigger…
Only for a long rod to extend from it as a flag with "BANG!" emblazoned on it. He then screamed as he tossed it aside and tried to run. Legoshi roared as he ran after Joker, pouncing and tackling the clown to the ground.
"MISTAH J! HE'S GONNA KILL MY PUDDIN'!" Harley screamed. Before she could make a move, Ben thrust Fran's chain into Harley's hand. She was immediately dragged off her feet as Fran tried to make another break for it.
"NO, DON'T DO IT!" Ben shouted.
"BEN!" Alice screamed. She made to run after, but Tulio grabbed onto her.
"No! Don't! He'll get you, too!" Tulio grunted, still trying to hold back Alf.
"Legoshi, don't do it!" Ben shouted. The wolfman briefly gave Ben a glance before digging his claws into Joker and dragged him closer.
"BATMAN! ROBIN! QUESTION! I'D SETTLE FOR BOOSTER GOLD! ONE OF YOU BOZOS! HELP!" Joker screamed.
"Legoshi, don't!" Ben said as he came in close, "I know you can't understand me, but you gotta!"
"Oh please, don't let this happen…" Alice pleaded, still behind Tulio's arm.
"You don't wanna be like this!" Ben shouted, on the verge of tears as he pulled his costume off, "Don't ruin everything 'cuz you're mad or scared of something! Or what's life for? I know I act like I'M the tough guy, but that's 'cuz I'm scared, too!"
"HELP! SATAN! YOU OWE ME!" Joker screamed. Legoshi then put a hand-like paw on the clown's neck and slammed him into the ground, silencing him and opening his mouth wide.
"Don't let this happen!" Alice prayed, eyes screwed shut and tears running down her face.
"But you, you're toughest guy I know! Legoshi, you've got nothing to prove! You're a monster!" Ben said. With a savage bark, Legoshi swatted Ben to the side, ripping his shirt.
"BEN!" Tulio shouted.
Ben, though, got back up. He took stock—nothing was hurt, nothing broken. Just a torn shirt. But he still had to keep Legoshi from making a terrible mistake.
"But don't be the kinda monster people think you are…" Ben said, voice shaking as he walked over to the savage wolfman, "Let him go, Legoshi…" Ben reached out and put a hand on the werewolf's arm, "Legoshi…I saw you singing. That's what you wanted. That's what you liked…you can do that! You can do whatever you want…but please, don't do this. Don't be just another person spoiling the way the world can be! Please…just let him go, please!"
Ben actually began to cry as he stroked Legoshi's arm. Something then clicked in Legoshi's mind. He couldn't understand exactly what was going on, but something was resonating with him. Not in his mind, but in his heart. His crimson eye looked…touched? Ashamed? Sad?
Legoshi looked at Joker, who was gagging and writhing on the floor below. His crimson eyes closed as his build became more slender, his paws became hands…
It was the fully restored Legoshi that took a heavy breath and stood up, leaving Joker unharmed on the ground. The clown began collecting himself as Legoshi took a step back.
"Way to go, Legoshi!" Ben cheered in pure adulation. Legoshi looked around and saw Ben, who immediately hugged his midsection. The werewolf looked surprised, but returned the hug and lifted Ben off his feet.
The crowd began to cheer and whistle. Partly in amazement of what they saw, but also in relief. The only monster free to attack had not only changed into a less…intimidating form, but had backed away from someone who was at its mercy.
Ben looked at the crowd as Legoshi took stock of the situation, "Wow…"
"Yeah, Lego. 'Wow'." Ben laughed as Legoshi put him down, the wolfman massaging his head.
"Hey! Still got the others here!" Tulio growled as he tried keeping Alf under control.
"Right! Yeah!" Ben said as he and Alice ran to their monster friends.
Alice ran at Fran and hugged the monster. Fran roared for a second before she began to shrink, becoming more humanoid as her hair became more of its natural mauve. She then recognized Alice and smiled, hugging her back.
Ben, meanwhile, went to Alf. After dodging his tongue-like appendage, he hugged the alien. With a series of twists and lurches, Alf returned to his original state. He let out a loud laugh as he hugged Ben.
The two children then ran over to Ariel, the sea monster roaring as Miguel could only barely hold on. They both hugged her tight. Her change was more…pronounced than the others. She convulsed as her entire body shifted so the upper half was humanoid. With a flip of her red hair, she let out a harmonious note and hugged both of them.
Joker, meanwhile, saw what was going on and figured he would be better off trying to make a break for it. His way was blocked, however, as a large door appeared and cut off his retreat. Ben held Alice close as the two looked on, warily, as a burst of magic blasted the exit open. The crowd immediately began flocking out, not noticing a small, furry thing with a skull-like mask walk out.
"Behold with trembling! The King of Demons has returned!" King proclaimed.
"What…is this?" Tulio asked as he, Miguel, and Harley dropped their chains.
"Well, I'm just speculatin', but if I were to guess…" Harley said, "I'd say it's a gateway between worlds, clearly bridging whatever plane these four weirdos came from with ours, acting as an easy transport."
Miguel and Tulio looked at each other.
"Yep." Tulio said.
"Yep." Miguel nodded.
"This tracks." Tulio nodded. With everything they encountered in the last few days, they figured it would be best to just…accept things.
"Now, let's dechainify the freaks!" King proclaimed as more bursts of magic erupted from the door. Each blast hit the chains and shackles of the other monsters. Ariel gasped as the one around her neck was hit and immediately disintegrated. Fran felt her wrists with a smile, "Now, CLOTHES SPELL! Seriously, who thought THIS was necessary?"
"Take THAT!" cackled a familiar voice as a slender figure jumped out and pointed at them. More magic flew out and hit each of the monsters…which restored their otherwise tattered and shredded clothes. Legoshi's shirt, sweater, and shoes were mended. Fran's dress was immediately repaired as the artificial human curtsied in gratitude. Orbs hit Ariel and Alf, putting Ariel into a black and blue dress with a ribbon in her hair. Alf, meanwhile, was given a yellow Hawaiian shirt and a pair of sunglasses.
"Ha! Corporate casual!" Alf said, adjusting his new shades.
"Joker!" Said the slender man, who turned out to be a skeleton wearing a suit—Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King, "I should have known! Who else would treat my friends so shamefully?"
"Why is it whenever I'M having fun, YOU butt in?" Joker asked, angrily.
"Well, you lost before I even got here. This boy had beaten you! Because some things can't just be washed out by your brew!" Jack said, gesturing to Ben. He then knelt down to Alice, "I heard your wish loud and clear—don't let this happen! Couldn't agree more! It's a monster's job to scare, but we're not mean about it."
Alice beamed at this. The skeleton man's sudden arrival was…strange, but she appreciated his compliment.
"Also, legally-speaking? These four signed your contract under duress." King said, holding up the monsters' contract with Joker, which he promptly shredded, "So, it is rendered null and void…learned that online! Isn't that something?"
"Who're these two?" Ben asked.
"Uh…Ben?" Legoshi asked as he looked down at his friend. Ben looked over, indicating he was listening, "Did I…do anything…bad?"
"Actually, I have a list right here." King said, taking out a roll of paper and a pair of reading glasses, "Bursting into song for no discernible reason, failing to live up to your lycanthropic reputation, needlessly adding characters to a story that had to be artificially lengthened to justify their inclusion, subtracting Roll Back the—"
Ben casually kicked King away as he playfully punched Legoshi's side, "No. You did GREAT!"
This simple reassurance made Legoshi smile and nod his head.
"You did great, too, Ben." Alice said as she walked up to Ben and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"GAH! Don't do that!" Ben shouted, turning red as he took a few hurried paces back.
"Why not?" Alice asked.
"It's gross! You just kissing me like that, it's…it's not manly!" Ben shouted, defensively.
"You know what? You're right." Alice said.
"I am?" Ben asked, not expecting this response.
"Of course." Alice giggled, "If you were truly as manly as you believe yourself to be, YOU should be kissing ME."
"I SHOULD?" Ben asked, not expecting to be cornered quite like this.
"Yes, Ben. Yes, you should." Tulio nodded before giving Ben a sharp shove. Ben tumbled right into Alice, his lips meeting hers. His eyes bulged in surprise, but he quickly went limp.
Miguel gave Tulio a fist-bump as the black-haired con-man looked proud at his achievement. The blonde, though, felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned to see Ariel.
"I've been meaning to talk with you, Miguel." Ariel said.
"YES!" Miguel whooped before saying, "I mean…about WHAT, Ariel?"
"The way you look at me…it makes me want to…lay some eggs." Ariel giggled. Miguel gave another goofy chuckle as he smiled, waggling his eyebrows.
Fran and Alf smiled at this before King walked by, "Okay, bozos. Goo-goo eyes is over. Time to get moving!"
"He's right, everyone. Through the gateway." Jack said, "I have a surprise for you."
"Well, guess it's time to say good-bye!" Harley said, rushing over and giving Ben a quick kiss on the forehead, "Good night, Benny! And you too, Ally!" Harley gave Alice a quick peck on the head before grabbing the chains and making for the exit.
"HARLEY! Who said you could leave?!" Joker shouted.
Harley looked at Ben and Alice. The two nodded. She smiled as she walked over.
"Sorry, Mistah J. But there's somethin' I need to tell ya." Harley said before walking right into Joker's face and shouting, "I QUIT! Yeah, I QUIT! Stick THAT banana in your ear! I'm OUTTA HERE! And it's not even 'bout the money! Not complainin' 'bout my dry-cleanin' bill. BUT SPEND YOUR DAYS DRUGGIN' ELEPHANTS AND SEE HOW YOU SMELL!"
The group began laughing. Harley blew them a kiss before returning to her verbal evisceration, "But that's not the point! The point is…I quit! Quitsky! Over and out! That's all she wrote! Keep my LAST CHECK, PUDDIN'!" Harley pulled out a slip of paper and jammed it into Joker's mouth much like how he did to her earlier. But she wasn't done yet. As she continued, she would pile each item onto Joker.
"Here's my gun…my hammer…my horn…my buzzer…my fake arm…my explosive cream pies…my backstage passes…my chattering teeth…not the hyenas, but THEIR backstage passes…my pogo stick, my marbles, a few birds, my bunny ears, my grappling hook, my OUTFIT…" at that last item, she grabbed each of her outfit's horns and pulled, ripping it clean in half…and showing she, like Joker, had pale skin all over, blonde pigtails, and was wearing a red and black checkered top and shorts, "It's chilly. I dressed in layers. My signed poster of Margot Robbie! And a giant clam that opens to show Poison Ivy holding an American flag next to Booster Gold! By the way, DATING THEM BOTH!"
As Harley finished, a giant clam opened up to show a woman with green-tinted skin and red hair next to a man wearing a navy blue and gold outfit with goggles. She looked annoyed while he looked confused.
"Where am I? How'd I get here?" Booster Gold asked, confused.
"Harley's being Harley again." Poison Ivy murmured.
"SO LONG!" Harley shouted, jumping onto a motorcycle while the kids and monsters were laughing their heads off. Miguel was rolling on the ground while Tulio was barely restraining himself. Harley drove her motorcycle up to Joker and said, "By the way, if you wanna know why I'M talking and THEY'RE laughing? Lemme explain…" she then pulled out a bullhorn and shouted at the top of her lungs right next to his ear, "THAT'S! COMEDY!"
Having shouted that, Harley drove off, muttering about what she'd do for employment now as Booster Gold flew off and Poison Ivy just summoned a large flower that swallowed her and vanished into the ground.
"INGRATE!" Joker shouted as he tossed Harley's memorabilia away.
"Hey, Mr. Joker?" Legoshi said as he and the others made for the door, "You've done some bad things. But…even a monster can turn things around. Wanna come with us?"
"Go chase some pigeons, Dog Boy!" Joker spat.
"Well, he's made his decision. It's time to go, everyone." Jack said as they made their way to the door.
"Good-bye, then." Legoshi said as he closed the door behind him. Immediately, Joker seemed to realize what he had done and went for the doorway. Before he could make it to the knob, though, it vanished. Leaving the clown all, all alone.
"Jackie…wait…" he pleaded, "When…I'm alone…when I have no one to terrorize…I get…frightened myself…" he heard a large, flapping noise, "I could…run into a bat…"
He then heard something. The clown then turned and ran with a scream as a giant shadow fell across the room. When it flowed away…there was no sign of The Joker. As if he had never been there.
Resting a few yards away was the gem he had used to control the monsters. The figure reached down and picked it up. He grunted before jumping up into the night sky, like a massive Bat.