Into the Light- New Connections
'Tsuyo, are you there? Are you alright? What's wrong?'
As our main character starts to struggle with his mental health and feeling out of place amongst his friends, he tries his best to focus on the positive aspects of his life as much as he can despite this- but it appears that a storm is brewing in the distance, getting closer and closer as time goes by. How will it affect our main character and those around him, and what does a finances company have to do with one of his friends? And what about an unexpected phone call he receives from one his friends?
*WARNING: THIS PART CONTAINS ALLUSIONS TO POOR MENTAL HEALTH/MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES; INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS OF A DISTURBING NATURE; MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM; BULLYING; FINANCIAL ISSUES; AND MORE. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.*
Chapter 4, Part 2:
At the end of the week, you and your friends had all worked hard at school and so as a treat- you all decided to go out for ice-cream after school. The others were enjoying themselves and looking forward to the weekend, whilst you were looking forward to spending what little time you had outside of your daily activities and interactions with people by yourself- to reflect on the week or catch up on something like sleep or a book you were reading.
You also mused on the idea of going to see your Aunt Rose to use her workshop for practicing on old skills, but you weren't sure if you were going to go through with that idea or not- and so you left it alone for now.
Maki was halfway through her ice-cream when you offered to take her home, you had finished your ice-cream already and you felt a bit awkward sitting there with nothing to hold or use to keep your mind from wandering during conversations.
Admittedly, you always felt a little out of place amongst your friends- and whilst you could normally deal with it very well, it seemed that your mind wouldn't let you rest over the smallest things that you did or said over the past few days.
Tsuyo noticed that something was bothering you and asked you about it, but you insisted that you were just thinking about trivial things such as what book you were going to read to your sister tonight, or what clothes you were going to wear to the Turf War Class tomorrow.
Trivial things such as that were simple and innocent enough in nature, that it wouldn't alert another person to what you were actually thinking about.
She didn't seem to buy it much, but she trusted you enough that she dropped it and didn't go into it any further.
You got all of your belongings and when Maki was ready, you bid farewell to your friends and started to take Maki home. Out of habit, you held her hand like you had done to her many times before and would most likely do to your younger sister when she was old enough to do such a thing.
You knew that she seen you as an older brother figure, since you were somewhat similar to her older brother- and since you didn't mind acting like more of an older brother to her than her cousin or her friend, you acted the way you did around her to make her happy.
As you began walking, you asked her if she was enjoying her ice-cream- to which she nodded and smiled widely at you, going back to eating her ice-cream. You were happy that she was enjoying her treat so much, but you couldn't help but scold yourself for buying her such a large ice-cream.
But you didn't want to dwell on it for too long since you didn't want to concern her or make her worry, and so you just focused on getting her home safely before you would get home yourself.
During Registration on Monday morning, Mr Kard was going through the announcements and he mentioned something that piqued your interest significantly. 'That's the reminder for the HE money sorted and out of the way- now... Ah- here's something most of you will be interested in, applications for After School Clubs are going to be available from today and they are due in for Friday next week. I might as well give out the forms now.'
When he handed you your form, you thanked him and began to look at it intently- your curious eyes scrolling down at the long list of clubs available to you. Even though you had an idea of what clubs you wanted to join already- one of them being the Weapons Club, you were now considering some of the other options available to you.
You looked around and saw Tsuyo staring at her sheet with a look of heavy consideration on her face, whilst Chandler looked at his with hesitation- reluctance or fear even.
You knew that their home lives were difficult and challenging, but you secretly hoped that they would join at least one after school club in order to enjoy their middle school experience as much as they possibly could- or at least have some pleasant memories of it.
You were snapped out of your short-lived musings by the ringing of the bell and so you forced yourself to gather up all of your belongings and made your way to class. Promising yourself that you would dwell over these matters later when you had more time.
At lunch, you looked through the form you were given by Mr Kard and you began to go through it. You would stop and start eating as you went through the filling-in process, ticking the ones you were definitely doing in pen whilst you went through the ones you were still thinking about in pencil.
It was a long and difficult process, one that would cause you to furrow your brow and mumble to yourself as made changes to the sheet of paper constantly.
You sighed in defeat as you gave up on filling out the form for now, going to put the partially completed form away in your bag in order to finish off your lunch.
Your friends seemed to be greatly bemused by this, so much so that Connor commented playfully. 'Finally, I thought we'd never get to talk to you.' You were confused by this and explained that they could've talked to you anyway whilst you worked, to which they stared at you with blank expressions on their face.
Leah was the first person to speak up and explain to you, 'We did, we tried to talk to you- but you just didn't seem to notice.' You were confused with what they meant by this, but the more they explained it to you- the more it made sense to you.
As they explained how you would just focus completely on what you were doing for long periods of time, and only break it when you needed to- going back into that extreme focus immediately after. In essence, they explained that you would just go into an auto-pilot like state for most of the day and when they were finished you couldn't think of what else to say, so you just let out a quiet and almost blank- 'Oh...'
Your friends just laughed at your reaction, and after a few minutes- they had calmed down and began talking about the after-school clubs they were interested in doing.
As you expected, Tsuyo and Chandler were rather absent from the conversation- often avoiding the conversation by eating their lunch or nodding in agreement with what the others were saying.
You asked them as politely as they could if they were interested in joining any after-school clubs and they were hesitant in answering- but they each gave you their own answer in quiet and almost ashamed voices.
Tsuyo explained that because of certain circumstances, it would be unlikely that she'd be able to join them. 'As much as I'd want to- I'd need to work, and sure I could do the ones in the morning. But if I sleep in then... Well- I'd probably be kicked out. I don't know- I need to think about it more...'
Whereas Chandler's concerns dealt with his home-life and his behaviour from last year. 'My old man is a bit funny or iffy at times about me doing extra-curriculars and that, that and given my "track-record"- they might not even accept me into any clubs... So I probably won't even bother at all...'
You were saddened at how downcast or downtrodden they were about it, so much so that it almost broke your heart to see them like this.
So, you tried your best to encourage them as much as you could- with many of the others joining in with you and encouraging them to go and join the club's they wanted, or even attempt to do so.
This seemed to cheer them up a bit and whilst you knew that it would take them a little while and a lot more convincing to possibly go through with it, you hoped that this would be the first step of encouraging them to do something for themselves that would not only give them something to look forward to- but would also help them in the future in terms of university or job applications.
After that happened, you all moved on from that conversation and you all enjoyed the rest of your lunch before you went to the last class of the day. PE.
You tried your best to keep it together whilst you were in PE, you did what you could to ignore your intrusive thoughts and it worked. You interacted with others and participated in the activities as much as you could- keeping yourself busy to avoid having to think about the things your mind forced you to think about.
This was something that you often did, you made yourself busy to avoid dealing with your intrusive thoughts during the day- so that you could focus on all of the things that you needed to do.
But once PE was over and you were in the Learning Support Room to discuss your application to the Student Council with Ruby; Chrys; and some other members of the student council in the room- you couldn't prevent the intrusive thoughts taking over your mind.
You had tried your best to focus on the situation as best as you could, but you would unfortunately space out at times- with you scratching or pinching at the skin on your hands and wrist to try and force yourself to focus and pay attention to what the others were doing.
And it had worked for the most part, when an intrusive thought came into your mind- you would force yourself to ignore it and dig your nails into your skin to re-focus yourself.
However, it seemed that you had worried Ruby by doing this and when she asked if you were alright- you looked down to see small amounts of blood on your fingertips from where you had dug them into your skin, you quickly wiped it away and apologised. Explaining that it was just 'one of those days' for you as nonchalantly as you possibly could- which if you were honest with yourself was about as successful as it could be.
But since you didn't make a big deal out of it, the others brushed it off and you all moved on with the application process- to which you thanked everyone for their time as sincerely as you could and went to leave in a hurry once it was over, ignoring the burning feeling of eyes that stared into you when you were leaving.
You distracted yourself from what happened earlier by throwing yourself into your work and your studies after you had cleaned yourself up in the bathroom when you had gotten home. It appeared that Ruby was rather worried about you and had messaged you to check in on you.
Ruby: Hey, are you ok?
You: Yes, I'm fine- it's just that my intrusive thoughts were getting to me and I didn't want to distract myself with them.
Ruby: Chrys said that she saw a bit of blood on your nails when I asked if you were alright, were you digging your nails into your skin?
You: Yes- I was, but that was just to make sure I would be able to focus on the application process. I'm only a candidate and I probably won't be picked, I only just joined the school after all.
Ruby: Well yeah, that is true- you did just join the school. But you're able to have a good impression upon people because no one knows a lot about you, you have that advantage. Plus- after you left, the other council members were asking about you. They thought you weren't well, and they seemed to be worried about you even though you all just met today.
You: I didn't act too odd, did I? I didn't ruin my chances that way- did I?
Ruby: No- I don't know what exactly you've been through, but I just told them the way it was explained to me, that you've been through a lot and it affects you sometimes- some more than others. Ik that's a bare bones explanation, but you get the gist of it.
You: Ah.
You: Well then.
Ruby: They didn't bring it up afterwards once I told them, they just took into account that it was just one of your bad days like you said it was. Which isn't wrong, you just had a bad day today and with all the things you have to worry about- it's not surprising.
Ruby: Look- just because you have issues with your mental health doesn't mean that you don't deserve a chance at elections like everyone else. I think you'd be a great fit for the council. You're always putting other people before yourself; you always do your work and you hand it in on time- the teachers love you already for that; you're always polite and civil and punctual and just the whole package really.
Ruby: Ik you might think I'm saying that to be nice, but I just thought that you could do with a bit of cheering up since you've been having a bit of a rough day today.
Ruby: Sorry I can't stay and chat, I need to help my sister with dinner and the shop- but if you need anything just text me and I'll try and answer when I can. :)
You: Thanks Ruby, it means a lot to me- thanks for cheering me up...
Ruby: No problem, I'm glad that I could be of some help. Now go and rest up- you deserve it.
You: Haha, I won't make any promises but I'll certainly try.
Ruby: Alright, I need to go- take care, see you later Hibiki. Bye!
You: Bye, you too.
You chat with Ruby had helped cheer you up a bit and you had felt a bit better compared to yesterday- something that you were very glad of since it allowed you to get through the day that little bit smoother.
In fact nothing eventful had really happened that day, aside from a breaking news report that a big finances company had their share prices suddenly drop for unknown reasons- with the company refusing to comment on this matter at lunchtime when someone had the news playing on their phone.
It wasn't until the last class of the day that anything interesting or significant happened.
During Form Period- the last class of the day on Tuesday, Mr Kard was having all the students break the ice with one another and talk about themselves to the class and eventually he turned his attention to you to have you talk about yourself.
You couldn't think of anything interesting about yourself, so you decided to go with the safest route and began to talk about your sister. One of the female students asked out of curiosity, 'How old is she?' To which you explained, 'She's still a baby mind you, we came here when she was 4 months old in late June. She'll be 7 months old soon, at the end of the month.'
Another student asked, 'Do you have any photos of her?' You took out your wallet and took out a copied photo you had of your sister when she was first born from a clear compartment in your wallet.
You let other students look at it and a lot of the students commented on how cute and tiny your sister was, one of the students asked why you kept a photo of her in your wallet and you sheepishly explained, 'Well- she's the only biological family I have left, and I made a promise to someone that I would look after and protect her as much as I could. So, she means a lot to me- especially since she reminds me of the person I made that promise to...'
You tried your best to not sound sad, but it must have come through via your eyes and face- as you were given looks of pity from most of your classmates and Mr Kard. Someone moved on quickly to try and lighten the mood, and so they asked, 'Do you help out with her at all or?'
You were honest in your answer, but you didn't quite expect some of the reactions from your classmates- particularly some of your male classmates. 'Of course I do- I've helped to look after her since she was born, and I still do. I like to read to her every night before I put her to bed actually...'
Some of the less mature and spoiled boys in your class sneered and commented in disgust, 'That's kinda gay.'; 'You'd change her nappy and everything? I wouldn't do that at all- even if I was asked to!'; 'Does your mum not look after her? Why do you need to look after her? Why not just have a nanny look after her?'
To your utmost surprise, most of your classmates defended you and regarded you with respect- citing that what you did was quite normal; how there was nothing wrong with it; and that you were a good person for doing such a thing.
Your friends were quick to come to your defence as well, saying that they had seen you interact with your little sister many times before- saying that you were always gentle and good to her, going so far as to say that you were a gentle person in general. Often acting like an older brother figure to others, particularly girls out of habit.
You were flattered by their defence of you, thanking them all in a shy, quiet voice as you looked down in embarrassment as your cheeks lit up into a bright violet hue.
The rest of the week went by without much issue, and you did all of your usual tasks that you were required to do- despite some of the difficulties you had with your mental health in recent times. You tried your best to remain positive about your situation despite your problems with your mental health, focusing on trying to have fun in your life with trying or experiencing new things as well as increasing your connections with other people.
To your pleasant surprise, you were able to be-friend the other Octolings in your class rather quickly, as well as some other students that had an interest in Weapons like you. You were all laughing at something Jacques had said about Katrina- to which one of the female students Caroline shushed him and whispered to him in your mother tongue 'Jacques, don't say that too loudly- she might hear you!'
You all continued to laugh away anyway, to which you managed to choke out in a mixture of Inklish and Octolish between your fits of wild and uncontained laughter. 'A burnt orange on legs- oh if you compare her to that horrible human president one more time my lungs might just collapse!'
Tears began to roll down your face as you clutched at your sides, with the others laughing even more when they saw you in that state- eventually joining you before calming down and getting over the joke Jacques had made about Katrina after a few minutes of wiping at your eyes and catching your breath.
You continued to chat for a bit when you were interrupted a by a soft knock at the door of Study Room 4, you told whoever was on the other side that the door was open and that they could come in.
Tsuyo apologised for interrupting you and the other people in the room in your conversation, asking you if you had your work done. You explained that you had finished it a while ago, and decided to take a break before you would all get back to work.
She informed you all of the time and reminded you that you needed to start to get going so that you wouldn't miss the train home. You looked up at the clock and saw that it was 15 minutes past 3, to which you began go pack up all of your belongings to say goodbye to your friends, telling them that you looked forward to seeing them in the after-school activities that would start up next week before you left school with Tsuyo.
You were walking together in peaceful silence for quite a while, but when you had left the schools grounds and turned towards the street you needed to take to get to the train station, Tsuyo began a conversation with you by saying to you rather playfully- almost in a teasing tone of voice. 'I see that you've made some new friends.'
You knew she meant well by this however, as it was the type of voice she often spoke to you in. But you seemed to stumble over your words a bit, most likely out of an irrational fear of offending her. 'Well, I suppose it's easier to get along with people you share interests with, not that it's not possible to make friends with people that have different interests to you...'
She stopped you before you could dig yourself into an even deeper grave and reassured you with a smile and a kind look on her face, that she understood what you meant. You were slightly embarrassed from that blunder and whilst you criticised yourself internally as you had been doing in recent days, you decided to switch the topic of conversation to save face as much as you could. 'Have you thought more about joining any clubs yet?'
Warm flowers of happiness bloomed in your chest as she told you with a smile on her face that just kept on growing as she talked to you. 'Yeah, I have. I might actually go through and join some clubs this year- do something for myself for once. That and at least people will actually accept me into clubs this year...'
But those flowers quickly died away when you heard her voice falter and die down at the end, and those flowers were soon replaced by harsh, bitter thorns that dug into you when you asked her in the tone of voice you would use when going up against an opponent in Turf War. 'Why wouldn't they accept you last year?'
She explained it in a way that deeply angered you for some reason, she sounded so downcast and low when she talked about it- in a way that told you how normal that type of behaviour was to her. 'Well, who would want to accept the girl that's being bullied by one of the most popular girls in school? You're putting yourself at risk if I'm honest...'
"Jesus Christ, how sad of a person must you be to deprive someone of the opportunity for a healthy outlet/escape from their problems because of your own selfishness..."
She looked at you in a hesitant confusion and asked you softly. 'Did you say something Hibiki?' You were confused by what she meant and when you asked her about it, you were met with a horrible realisation when she told you. 'I think you were mumbling to yourself- something about selfishness?'
You realised that you had muttered what you were thinking under your breath on accident, and you looked away from her to hide your burning face as you explained in a low voice. 'Oh- I was calling the people who wouldn't let you into their clubs selfish, even the ones run by teachers...'
You looked at her briefly before you looked away from her again, seeing that her face was stuck in a state of surprise. Thankfully, her usual peppy and spunky tone returned to her as she reassured you, 'Yeah- but I'm going to stand up for myself more this year too, so if that does happen- I'm not gonna let them do what they like with me like they did last year.'
You felt the thorns disappear from your chest, but the feelings they caused remained behind and lingered within you- remaining prevalent even as you praised her and changed topics. 'Good. I'm glad to hear it. Oh yes- have you had any luck with Chandler?'
She shared with you on what she was helping Chandler with After-School over the last few days, 'A bit, I'm helping him write an apology letter to all the teachers and students he was mean to last year. I told him that it might be one of the best ways to show them that he isn't the same person he was last year. I can only hope that his behaviour reflects this change...'
You were glad that she was helping him out with being more active in his education and other pursuits, and you told her that it was likely he was going to stick to this desire for self-improvement given his actions towards her and others.
'Well, I've been helping him as much as I can. We all have. And he's making an effort, a genuine effort. If he didn't want to change, would he have asked his friends for forgiveness for all that he done and put them through? Would he have apologised to you for all that he did to you last year and earlier on this year? And would he have accepted your help to come up with a letter of apology to give to all the people he hurt? Would he really do all of that if he didn't want to change?'
She saw your point and accepted that he was going to stick to it- something that seemed give her great relief and happiness given the way her eyes looked. You continued to ramble on for a bit, and you seemed to strike a chord with her when you brought something up.
'See- if we continue to give him support and a chance to prove himself, then I think he'll do well for himself. And you know what, I hope he does well for himself- he deserves a second chance just as much as anyone else. And maybe, maybe this year is your second chance Tsuyo. Maybe this year is your second chance to do all the things you never got to last year.'
Her cheeks had a light dusting of colour on them when you said that, and when she went to part ways with you- she seemed to be in a much better mood than she was a few minutes ago. 'Maybe... Anyway, I need to go to work- I have bills to pay and all that. See you tomorrow Hibiki, bye!'
You bid her farewell, but not before you reminded her of some things that were going to happen next week. 'Bye, take care! Don't forget that we have a Maths test on Monday and History homework due for Wednesday!'
She shouted back to you, 'I won't, I'll try and remind the others in the group chat!' Before she waved goodbye to you and ran off towards a shortcut that you had seen her take a few times before whenever she needed to work after-school.
When you got home, you went straight to your room to revise for the Maths test you had on Monday, as well as preparing for your introduction to the other students as a candidate of the Student Council as a representative for the Weapons Club.
You were eventually called to dinner by Rei where you were treated to his cooking for a change, as well as a Family Movie Night where you watched a film called Jurassic Park together.
After that, you went back to revising for most of the evening- stopping to get ready for bed and the Turf War Class tomorrow as well as anything else you needed to attend to.
What you didn't expect however, was a text from Ruby asking if you were able to talk.
Ruby: Hey, are you there?
Ruby: Sorry if I'm bothering you, I'm just worried is all...
You: Yes, I'm here. What's wrong?
Ruby: I'm starting to get really worried about Chrys.
You: Chrys? What's making you worry about her?
Ruby: Well, she hasn't been eating as much lately- the only reason I know that is because she never eats breakfast in the morning and I haven't seen her bring in lunch in a while, and I know money has been tight for her at the minute... Then there's the phone calls she's been getting recently as well- remember the day we went to Wahoo World?
You: I do- she sounded really angry with whoever she was speaking to on the phone that day, and she hasn't been too happy lately either- Maki's getting worried about her as well. But before we go any further, is this quite common for her?
Ruby: Unfortunately, it is. Her parents don't really like her- their relationship isn't the best and that'll take a long time to explain, so that'll have to take place another day.
Ruby: Essentially, she doesn't live with them anymore- not since she was 10 at least, or around that anyway. I'm not sure, but she lives with her older sister who's in uni, she's in her last year of school I believe.
Ruby: But there's been a lot of tensions between her and her parents lately, and I don't know- something's up and I'm worried about her...
You: Here, how about I try and talk to her on Monday at school- I could bring Maki with me maybe, or I could ask my Dad to talk to her. They get along quite well actually.
Ruby: Thanks Hibiki, I'm sorry for bothering you with this- you probably have enough on your plate with Tsuyo and all that...
You: It's no problem at all, I could tell something was eating at you over the past few days. I'm glad that you've told me really, I wouldn't want you taking ill because you're that worried about your childhood friend- especially with the Student Council election coming up next week.
Ruby: Yeah- good luck with that btw, I'm sure you'll do great. Anyway, thanks Hibiki, now I know how you feel I guess- I don't know how you deal with it so well.
You: I have my ways.
Ruby: Alright then, keep your secrets. Goodnight Hibiki, thanks for everything. :)
You: No problem, rest up now- goodnight.
Ruby: Goodnight. :)
You sighed and looked at the time, deciding to get up and put your phone away in the box in the hallway after you said goodnight to all of your friends, and getting a cup of tea from the kitchen before you went on to continue revising and preparing for both the Maths test and the Student Council Assembly until 9:30PM where you decided to finish up for the night and head off to bed, hoping and praying that you would be able to get a good nights sleep.
Or at least that was what you had planned to do until you heard your phone ring at 10:30PM or so, disturbing your attempt to fall asleep. Whilst you were hesitant to pick up the phone, you saw the Caller ID and immediately picked it up- fearing the worst given who it was.
'Tsuyo, are you there? Are you alright? What's wrong?' All of the worst possible thoughts had begun to swirl around in your head when you saw her name on your phone screen, and when she heard your voice, she sounded so relieved- but so panicked and distressed at the same time. 'Oh, thank God- I thought you weren't going to pick up... Uhm- oh God, I don't know what to do...'
She had tried to compose herself as best as she could, but you could tell that whatever had happened was gravely serious- and you tried your best to remain calm and ask her what had happened without doing anything rash yourself. 'Tsuyo, you need to tell me what's happened- what's going on?'
She sniffed a few times before she told you in the most sorrowful voice you had ever heard, 'It's my dad, he's been arrested- he might go to jail for what he's done. I'm not sure yet- but I can't stay at my place since they're looking for evidence. Can I come over?'
Chapter 4, Part 2, End.