Eclair had lit the campfire that had been constructed with the same pile of firewood that Fiona had collected almost two years prior. Why shouldn't they stay here? The lawn was certainly big enough for his wife, whenever she returned; and the house was all the room Donkey required. His kids could share the loft and it was undeniably secluded. The firewood alone was proof of that. Nobody had come here since Shrek and Donkey were bachelors, who hadn't met Puss or known that Far Far Away existed.
The firewood smelled just the way it was supposed to, and by the flickering light of the flames Donkey could see the sad faces of his silent children. For once he didn't know what to say, and so said nothing at all. But of course they were in this mess together. Dragon was absent, a child had died, and they had been insulted greatly. What could he say?
The sound of footsteps made Donkey stand up and turn around defensively; and his body relaxed but his face tensed when he recognized the ogre walking towards them, Puss sitting on his shoulder. "Oh, well, look at this!" Donkey exclaimed sarcastically. "Look who's comin' to apologize. I guess Fiona's makin' you do this. Whatsa matter, is there no couch at the new place?"
"Donkey, you never know when to shut yer trap. You're absolutely infuriating!" Shrek told him. He sighed and stopped in front of him. "I'll admit I'm sorry for accusing you falsely. An' if you want to come back, you can. But I have one condition; you take one side of that castle and you keep to it. I stand by my statement, and I need a little break."
Donkey narrowed his eyes and for the longest time in the history of their friendship, he was quiet. Puss and Shrek exhanged a fleeting nervous glance.
"You can open your trap long enough to answer me," Shrek offered.
Donkey turned his back to him and walked to the darkened firepit. "Some light, please?" he asked, and one of the hybrids complied with his request. "Thanks a lot."
"I think he's staying," Puss muttered.
Shrek looked again at Donkey's unmoving back. "Fine," he said. "We'll go back just the two of us."
"You're taking him?" Debbie blurted. "He's the reason we're in this fix!"
"It was an accident," Shrek told her.
"Oh, sure, when Puss does it it's an accident; but when you even think it's me I'm unwelcome," Donkey snapped.
"Puss showed me where you were so I could make things right," Shrek corrected him. "I apologized and I invited you back; but if you're too stubborn to even think about it-"
"Well, that's the pot calling the kettle black! Me, too stubborn," Donkey added in a grumble. "I would be happy to return for Fiona. If you hadn't stopped her marriage to Farquaad, you'da never seen me again. But I'm not gonna let you dictate where we can and cannot be. I'm not gonna live in a place where my kids need to feel bad."
"This isn't about your kids anymore," Shrek thundered. "This is about you and me."
"What about you and me? What, you need to put me to work or somethin'?"
"No! Now shut yer trap and listen, okay? I'm not mad at you over what you didn't do." Shrek ran a hand over his scalp. "I just-okay. I want you to come live with us. But I need you to not be there all the time, because you talk a lot. I need your kids to behave properly. And I need you to not magically appear every time I need privacy." He sighed. "Donkey, I don't mind living with you. But there need to be some boundaries. Well, there are boundaries, and you...you need to realize what they are."
Donkey considered and finally huffed a sigh. "So we can still hang out and stuff?"
"Yeah."
Donkey began to smile. "Well...okay. I mean, I guess I need to work on some stuff. But lemme ask you, can I make rules for you when you come to my place?"
Shrek chuckled. "I guess that's only fair."
"Alright, cool. So we always had Waffle Wednesdays, but how's this? Milkshake Mondays, Tortilla Tuesdays, Sherbet Thursdays, Pie Fridays..."
"I think Puss would get fat with your schedule," Shrek chuckled.
"Nah, man, he's too vain to gain."
"Oh, here we go with the poetry again," Puss sighed.
Shrek scoffed. "Again?"
"Yeah, I wrote Puss a poem. 'Cause I love the wittle furball!"
Shrek looked at Puss, who pulled his hat down to his chin, and Donkey's taunting laugh echoed through the glade.
Fiona missed her candles. Farquaad's castle was frightening, even to a woman who had since childhood transformed into a being that was hunted worldwide. If she stopped what she was doing, she could still hear him declaring ownership of her. She could still feel the guards pulling her toward a dark and lonely dungeon.
She shuddered, pulling a luxurious blanket over her shoulders. She couldn't wait to ask one of the hybrids to light the fireplace. Craving more light, she got up and crossed the chamber, stopping in front of the window. Pulling the gossamer curtains aside, she flung open the window and rested her arms on the sill, looking up at the moon.
Why here? The hangman's noose in the courtyard failed to support the theory that the high walls and locking gate could ever guarantee their safety. Lives had been lost here. A knife had been held to Fiona's throat in this domain; how could Shrek not share her hatred of this place?
True, they had been told where they would find Puss and Donkey. It hadn't been Shrek's idea, but he hadn't objected to living here for the rest of their lives, or the rest of the kids' lives.
Donkey valued his kids' opinions. He was like her that way. But he was also more of a follower. Puss must have chosen this place; and it made sense, because only he was in the dark about how greatly Fiona despised this place. Shrek had been with her-and Donkey would never do this to her.
She looked down and saw her husband traipsing through the onion field. By the light of the moon, she could glimpse Puss on his shoulder and Donkey at his side. Breathing a sigh of relief, Fiona pushed away from the window and crossed the dark chamber. Somewhere in the unfamiliar layout of the huge building, she got lost; and stood still until she heard her husband's voice, resonating down the stone corridor.
"Donkey, I told you, okay, a waffle iron isn't for my clothes."
As the conversation began to fade, Fiona moved faster, trying to follow the sound. She rounded a corner and stumbled into a room with mirrors on every wall, and a chair in the center of the room.
Shaking her head at Farquaad's overinflated ego, she took another hallway and was moving past the doorway when she saw Shrek's shadow on the wall. She backtracked and stepped into the room-but it was empty; the shadow bobbing along the wall.
Fiona whirled around at the sound of Donkey's groan to see the pair walking up the steps. "These stairs are damn sure not made for somethin' with four legs!"
Shrek chuckled, moving faster as he caught sight of Fiona. "Okay, everything's sorted."
"Thank you."
Shrek paused at her neutral voice. "What is it this time?"
She sighed and looked resolutely at him. Her eyes were narrow and her ears were down as she quietly said, "We need to talk."
Shrek looked at Donkey, who had folded his ears back at her displeased tone. "Whoo, look at me standin' in the wrong building!" Donkey said lamely. "I'm just gonna go...practice my pie-makin'. Y'all okay with blueberry? Well, I'll just see what we got first." He scuttled from the room.
Shrek lifted Puss off his shoulder and set him on the living chair, never taking his eyes from Fiona's. "Okay, uh-well, is it a good talk, or-"
"No. No, it's not, Shrek..." She paused as a hybrid flew past them. "Actually, it's really just between you and me."
Wondering if she was about to break it off with him, he shooed the hybrids from the room as Puss ran out the door, and Shrek closed it to ensure their privacy. Turning around slowly, he looked at Fiona in open fear. "Is this a...a marriage kind of talk?"
Fiona hesitated slightly. "Yes," she finally answered. "Listen. I've been doing a lot of thinking while you were gone, and...well, I'm not happy."
Shrek lowered his ears and averted his eyes, unable to bear losing her for good.
She walked slowly closer. "Shrek...I cannot stand this place. Ever since we found out about the swamp, I've been feeling like there was no place left to go. I just...I don't want to raise our kids in a place I don't love."
Realizing their marriage was not in jeopardy, he looked at her.
Nearing him, she slid her hands in his. "My father's kingdom is in trouble. Artie was the last heir."
"What does this have to do with our marriage?"
Fiona smiled sadly at him. "Shrek...in a normal world, I'm a human. I'm next in line."
"This is your normal world," Shrek said, and the irony of his words was not lost on him.
"But who's to say what's normal for the kids?"
"What?"
Fiona gazed at him. "They deserve the same choice I had."
He was unresponsive as he clung to her hands. Finally he dropped them, taking a step back and running a hand over his scalp. "I, uh...I don't know what to say."
Fiona motioned to the furniture, and they sat. "Shrek, not a lot of kids can choose between being something people hate, and being a king. Or a queen."
Shrek leaned back, examining her closely.
"They can," Fiona continued quietly. "I've lost my home and my son. I don't want to lose my heritage."
"So you want to move back?"
"I just don't want to take their choice away from them."
Shrek nodded again. "Yeah, I...I understand you. But, uh...you know, a potion often requires a true love's kiss, and...they're only two, so..."
"My spell only took effect at night. I'm sure there's a spell that works by day."
Shrek took a deep breath and looked at her. "Well, if you're sure this is what you want. It's not like we have a whole bunch of choices at our disposal."
"Shrek, I know you would feel out of your element at the kingdom; but if you like...there are swamps nearby."
"Uh, no," he surprised her by saying. "I think it was proven at the wedding already that Far Far Away hasn't really warmed up to us. I'd feel safer at your place."
"Your place?" Donkey yelped, and the ogres looked up to see him peeking through the balustrade. "You're goin' back?"
"Donkey, come down," Fiona called. "Please."
"Yeah, we need to talk, bud," Shrek added.
Donkey stood up and disappeared into the shadows, materializing seconds later on the well-lit stairs. He descended quickly but carefully. "Okay, but you not foolin' me. Somethin's definitely goin' on wichu; I know Shrek don't want to go on that road trip again. 'Cause you know, most men will only figuratively go the distance to make they marriage work, and you just pullin' him all over creation."
"Donkey, trap," Shrek said succinctly, and Donkey said nothing more as he stepped off the stairs.
"Okay. Here's the thing," Shrek began. "Fiona's heritage is on its last leg. So we're takin' the kids to the kingdom so they can train to become prospective monarchs."
Donkey gazed blankly at him.
"So they can take Lillian's place," Shrek explained.
"Ohh!" Donkey exclaimed.
"And I'd really appreciate you being there," Fiona said gently.
"Oh, God. Seven hundred miles again, I just..."
"No, wait a minute!" Debbie's naturally shrill voice interrupted him. She buzzed over the upper balcony and landed before him. "I, um, I have some news." She looked at her father, wings rustling nervously. "I found Mother."
"That's wonderful!" Donkey exclaimed.
"Uh, sort of..." Debbie answered vaguely, and Donkey cocked his head in silent question. Debbie shifted anxiously. "She's at the tower."
"Wha-my tower?" Fiona asked, putting a hand over her heart. "Why?"
Debbie winced slightly. "She, uh, she had...babies."
Donkey drew a sharp breath. "I got more! I got more?"
"No."
That sobered him really fast.
"She laid eggs."
Donkey's ears went down as he remembered Coco spotting another dragon. "She-she mated with someone else?" he asked, and when no one spoke he turned and galloped from the room.