A/N:I couldn't handle watching 8x01 tonight. It was good, but I watch TV to get away from the racial injustice, not so that I can have it thrown back in my face. So thus I wrote this chapter for the last quarter of the episode. Don't attack me. I understand that it is a very important topic. But the episode was so controversial that it was just stressing me out. I think it's the only Chicago PD episode that I don't like.

A/N 2:As you can see the other authors note was written a few days ago. I thought I could finish the chapter that night, but here we are three days later.

—

"-ir….Sir?" Jay heard a voice. There was a lot of shuffling and movement. Fuzzy voices started making statements about him.

"Looks like he hit his head pretty hard. That's a pretty good gash on his forehead."

"I called 911 and they said an ambulance is almost here."

"His gums are pretty pink. He looks dehydrated."

The voices faded away.

—

An ambulance pulled up to the ED as they usually did every day. It was almost seven in the morning and Will was just starting his shift. Will got ready to assist with the unloading of the patient.

"Jay!" He declared realizing who the patient was. He looked at his brother with athletic attire on, blood coming from his forehead, mask over his nose and mouth.

"You know him?" The paramedic asked.

"He's my brother. What happened?"

" Bystanders said they saw him running. He passed out. Hit his head. Bystanders called 911."

"Stats?"

"Bp 90/50. Oxygen is 87. Hasn't regained consciousness. Heart rate was pretty tachy when we got there but has slowed down.

"I got it, Will" Ethan said.

They hastily started cutting away his clothes, inserting IVs, and changing him.

Will wanted to be angry at Jay. He had to know that he wasn't drinking enough water before he started running. And why was he going for a run with stitches in his side? But Will knew Jay liked to run to clear his head. Will was torn between being angry and being worried.

—

Hailey's phone buzzed and she hastily answered it.

"Hey Hailey. Its Mouse. You're on speaker. I was wondering if-"

"I don't have time, Mouse. Jay's on his way to the hospital."she snapped.

At the bullpen, all of the team members immediately looked up at Mouse.

"What?"

"Jay went for a run and passed out. Bystanders called 911. Will called me. Said the paramedics think he's dehydrated. He could have a head injury. They don't know yet."

"Ok well I will let you go. Keep me posted."

"Yeah. Will do."

Hailey tossed her phone on the passenger seat and listened to the engine revving as she accelerated.

—

Jay woke up to a painful rubbing of knuckles against his chest. Oh my word, did this person not understand how bad that hurts? Could they not do that?

Will almost laughed as he watched Jay wakeup with an annoyed expression and try batting away Dr. Choi's hand. He looked around and realized he was in a hospital. Again. At this point he might as well rent a room.

"Hey man, nap time's over." Will teased. Will immediately noticed Jay's fallen countenance.

"What did I do?" Jay asked.

"You were running and you passed out and hit your head. You're lucky. No concussion, no broken bones, and no stitches."

Jay sighed.

"I'll give you guys some time." Ethan said, excusing himself.

The room fell silent as Jay started to wake up more and process what Will said.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, have a headache. That's all."

Will didn't have to give Jay a look to convey that that wasn't what he was talking about. And he didn't have to be a genius to figure out that Jay was getting sassy.

"Look Will I threw up last night and forgot to eat breakfast. Ok?"

"You threw up becausssse…"

"I had a bad dream. No big deal."

"No, this is a big deal. How many more times are you going to throw up after nightmares because you never talk to anyone? Until your esophagus tears and you end up back here for emergency surgery to fix it? I know this is hard-"

"Hard? Seriously? You think I'm not trying?"

"I didn't say that-"

"The worst possible thing that I could imagine has happened and everyone just expects me to move on. Everyone expects me to be okay-"

"Jay, we don't all expect you to just be okay with what happened-"

"Could have fooled me."

Will just shuts his mouth knowing he could say something that he later regrets if he tries to make a counter argument.

"I didn't want you to know in the first place. But then you had to go tell the team."

"What was I supposed to do."

"I trusted you to give me the time to tell them myself. It didn't happen to you. It wasn't your information to volunteer. They're my coworkers, not my family. There's a thing called privacy Will"

"No they're not your family by blood. But they are just as much a part of you. Maybe even more so because they didn't have to love you the way they do. They didn't have to keep checking up on you. They didn't have to show up and wait for hours to find out whether or not you were alive. They chose to. They might as well be your family. So in a way, they kind of deserved to know."

"No. They didn't" Jay said a little too harshly.

The room fell silent as Jay looked away.

"I'm sorry." He finally said " I'm just trying to be okay- and then the memories- and Im trying- um and uuugghhhhhh" Jay let out a groan of frustration. The thoughts were coming too fast and he couldn't hold on to one of them long enough to speak it in a concise sentence.

The room fell silent again.

Hailey knocked on the door and peeked in.

"Hey" she said clearly relieved to see him awake. He looked all too much like he had just a few weeks ago. The plain hospital gown, the IV pushing fluids into him, the cuff measuring his blood pressure. Except now there was a small butterfly closure over a cut on his forehead.

Jay sent her a polite smile and Will looked down.

"Hi." Jay said.

"How is he?" She asked, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable at the tension in the room.

"CT and x-ray came back clear. No concussion and no fractures. We are giving him some fluids and electrolytes and he'll be discharged in a few hours." Well said standing up. He held back a snarky comment, knowing deep down that Jay was right. He shouldn't have shared his diagnosis like that. He had been so selfish, he hadn't even considered how Jay felt about everyone knowing about his assault. He had barely been checking up on his own brother after he had been discharged.

"Let me know if you need anything." He said more towards Hailey.

Hailey sat next to Jay as Will left. He rubbed his eyes and looked at him.

"You should get frequent flyer miles here." She joked softly.

Jay smiled and scoffed.

"Not like I plan weekly vacations here."

"Wow really?" Hailey said in feigned shock.

She held his hand and smiled. She could tell by the mood of the room that Jay and Will had probably just been having a fight. She hoped she could lighten the air and make him feel better.

They joked around and passed the time by talking about events in the news or the last book they had read. But really they struggled to find A topic they had already talked about during Jay's last stint in the hospital.

As promised Jay got to go home that evening. His fight with Will was still swirling in his head and he knew Will was right. He did need help. The fact was concreted after the other night's incident. Jay knew what he had to do and after a quick conversation with Hailey, they both sat on the couch and started looking around at local therapists on Jay's laptop as they shared a pizza.

"This one…Noah Lambert… this guy looks good, at least on paper. I think I might give him a try."

"Oh yeah?"

"He's got a PhD in Psychology. He specializes in greif, sexual assault and abuse, coping skills, self harm, Trauma and PTSD, Suicidal Ideation, Depression, Anxiety. He's been practicing for 12 years."

"Can you email him? See if you can start scheduling appointments."

"Uh yeah I can, and I can verify my insurance information when I set my first visit, but" Jay stopped.

"But what?"

"What if Im not ready for this?"

"Its a step towards healing. And you won't know if you're ready if you don't give it a shot. Besides, I'm sure the first visit will probably just be an introduction and getting to know you."

" yeah, you're probably right."

Jay closed his laptop about 15 minutes, feeling a little more empowered, having scheduled his first therapy session. Hopefully this was the right decision.

Hailey and Jay watched TV until both of them fell asleep.

—

Noah Lambert is not a real person. I made the character up. Not based on any particular person either.

Please review.