Disclaimer: I don't own Fate/Stay Night or anything, please support the official release
Omake 1: A Real Fucking Vampire
Halloween.
It's Halloween in Chaldea. And their having a party.
Of course, you're not going to see anyone dress up because in Chaldea, everyone dresses up everyday.
The Servant's outfits are so diverse and unique that you would kind of think that they were cosplaying, but they're not. They can range from armor from any era to outfits that could be considered too indecent or bizarre in the modern era.
Just something that catches people's eyes.
As for me, there's no real charm or uniqueness to my outfit… I look like the average joe you'd see walking the street. And its the only one I have.
I don't like it.
I let out an exasperated sigh. This is the night to go around dressing up as whatever you want, yet I look like a sleep-deprived homeless person that can't stop complaining about their daily life.
…
That's actually my life in a nutshell.
[If you want a costume, why not ask da Vinci to make you one]
Oh yeah, I've completely forgotten about her! Or is it him?
It's very confusing…
For some reason, despite being a man in life, he/she took on the appearance of a woman in order to encompass the beauty that he pursued in life, which is why he looks like his most famous painting.
I arrive and knock on "her" door.
"Come in." A sweet voice called out.
The door slide opened and I was left in complete awe. Leonardo Da Vinci is considered one of the most brilliant people in history and his inventions are well-renowned for being ahead of their time: a Renaissance Man.
But that was an understatement.
Her workshop is filled to the brim with never before seen inventions, both in past and in the future. I mean some of the stuff here looks like something straight out of Sci-Fi films.
Every single one!
Though if you noticed, these inventions all have a common theme of birds as evident by the fact that most of them had at least 2 to like 6 wings in their designs.
"Can I help you?"
I turn to the source. Sitting on a table was a woman in her early to mid-twenties, maybe a bit older. Her beauty seemed to mask her true age. She was wearing a dress reminiscent to the Renaissance though modernized to make way for more fluent movement. By her side was a bird that I've never seen before, probably because it was golem rather than an actual living thing.
I try my best to keep a neutral expression before the beauty in front of me. "Da Vinci, right? There's something I want to ask you."
"You are here for a Halloween costume, correct?" Da Vinci asked.
"People have been asking you for costumes haven't they?" I speculated.
Da Vinci smiled. "Very perceptive. Some Heroic Spirits have come and asked me to make them costumes and it has been keeping me busy all day. I can make you some if you want."
"Please do." I said.
And so we began to work.
The first costume I tried on had a navy blue V-neck t-shirt with white hemming and a red front pocket, and black chap-style shorts with yellow belts holding on two red pockets on either leg. I wore a black hooded jacket with white hemming and pauldron-like additions on the shoulder with yellow belts hanging off the front. I had fingerless gloves that were black with white hemming, a yellow wrist strap, and white straps making an x across the back of the hand. My shoes were black and yellow with blue straps and a zipper running the length of each shoe, and to complete the ensemble, I wore a signature silver crown necklace.
"What do you think?" I asked.
Da Vinci's response was a thumbs down.
I sighed and went to change.
What I wore this time was a mix of both modern clothing and armor. A black short-sleeved hoodie with detached reddish-orange sleeves with a white diamond-shaped chest plate cut off above my lower abdomen, and placed over my shoulders are a pair of white spaulders with reembraces set under them. I wore blue jeans with a white patch placed on the left knee and black sneakers which have "left" and "right" written in black on the respective shoes' soles. I had two belts crisscrossing his waist, both different shades of brown, with a pair of small pouches on them and wearing brown wrist-length gloves with exposed fingertips and small metal plates over the back.
"How's this?" I asked.
"Isn't that armor a bit too tight?" Da Vinci asked.
"Yes…" I wheezed, and then immediately took the armor off and went back to change. I don't know why I even put that on.
The next costume was more eastern this time. I was wearing a long-sleeved, ankle-length black coat (or shihakushō) with white lining, which is closed at my chest and left to flare out into ragged ends.
"How's this one?" I asked.
Da Vinci gave me a so-and-so, "it's nice but I feel like it should have more flare."
I went back to change.
This costume screams edge lord.
The outfit consists of a charcoal suit, leather riding boots, and an intricately knotted red cravat, covered by a full-length, and red frock overcoat (similar to a duster coat) with a cape. On my head was a red fedora with a wide, floppy brim and a pair of circular, heavily tinted, wire-framed orange sunglasses with goggle sidings. I was also wearing a pair of white gloves which each have a five-pointed seal adorning their backs.
To complete the look, I had two guns on both hands.
On my right hand was a semi-automatic magnum pistol, based on two pre-WW1 handgun designs by Colt: the M1903 and M1905 pistols (the early versions of the M1911). Its most recognizable feature is its long slide, counteracting the weapon's heavy recoil with its weight. The barrel is 10 inches long (specified on the slide) and finished with titanium nitride which gives it a characteristic gold color. The barrel had the name Hellsing ARMS .454 Casull Auto engraved on both sides.
On my left hand was a massive pistol with a length of 39cm (16 in), a weight of 16kg (35lbs), and a black gunmetal construction. The words "Jesus Christ is in Heaven now" are engraved upon it. Its unique design makes it seem as if it doesn't have a pistol slide; however, the entire upper assembly is the slide, and moves only a minimal distance compared to other guns', making it appear as if there is no pistol slide.
Da Vinci gave me an analytic look and gave me two thumbs up. I let myself smile as I found the perfect costume though honestly, I didn't completely like it. It makes me look like a pimp and the two long ass guns make it look like I'm compensating for something.
I had another costume in mind, one with an intimidating presence and carried himself like royalty. I would also have a gold staff that takes on traits similar to that of the Greek God Hermes' caduceus. It is entwined by seven serpents and in each of the squirming serpents' mouths hold a jewel of a different color.
Haaaah... maybe one day...
[You work with what you get]
"Looks like we found the perfect outfit and personally I think you look great." Da Vinci said.
I look at her clock (can you even call it a clock) and realized that I am still in good time for the party. "Thank you miss, and now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go for a walk." I put the emphasis on the word "miss", and walked out of the workshop.
Da Vinci waved me off and went back to work. However, she forgot to tell him that her workshop was enchanted.
In other words, while two hours may have passed here, it has actually been several hours since he came in.
Later that Night
Cascull's barrel was smoking, Ritsuka and Mashu were in the corner of the room, eyes bulging out. In front of me was Gilles de Rias, his body riddled with bullet holes and moaning from the pain.
(insert Flashback noises)
"Now you're probably wondering 'How did all of this come about?' Well, it all started with a midnight stroll through Chaldea after finding out that time works differently in Da Vinci's room. The lights were off, the moonlight was illuminating the hallway and I was just dying for some action (wink, wink)."
[I can't tell whether you're trolling or trying to hide your anger]
"Can it be both?"
Standing in front me was none other than Gilles de Rias seemingly holding Mashu and Ritsuka hostage with sharp black tentacles on their necks for some reason (gross).
[What hell's wrong with his eyes!? It's like they're on the verge of popping out of his skull!]
"So, you've come. Too bad you're too late." Gilles exclaimed.
I let out a frustrated sigh "... what?"
"Everyone's already asleep, except for these lovely ladies. But trust me, I'll put them to sleep." Giles said.
"Mm-hmm." I hummed.
"But first, I'll have sex with them." Gilles exclaimed.
"Neat."
"But before I can do all of that. I'm going to kill you." Gilles exclaimed, his expression told of the torture he has in store for me.
I just laugh, "I don't know what's funnier... the idea that you're intimidating or the fact you're going to get laid."
"Grrrr, are you mocking me!?" Gilles growled.
"Oh, no, no, no, no, no… It's just that I'm so, so agitated today because not only did I miss the party, but this sad excuse of a man is standing in front of me talking shit like he's trying to impress his alcoholic father." I gestured him to go away, "be a sport and grab daddy another beer, would you?"
Gilles, enraged, summons more eldritch abominations. I just scoff at his attempts at being scary. Enraged further, Gilles has his tentacles crush me, only for me to disappear in a puff of smoke as, without him noticing, the real me had already freed Ritsuka and Mashu from their tentacle prison.
Before Gilles could retaliate, I took Cascull and proceeded to shoot him thirty-seven times.
I kneel next to him as he looks up, mouth gaping open as if trying to say something, so I thought I'd try to be nice. "Hey, don't cry, if it makes you feel any better the pain from the bullets is less than the pain I would have delivered to your crotch. Just ask the other guy, I heard he needed to get surgery."
Gilles whimpers.
I turn to Ritsuka and Mashu. "Now that that's over, how about we go to my room for some smores ice cream?"
The girls nod and, with a grin, lead them both to my room.
I just totally scored.
Unbeknownst to any of us, however, a robbed figure watches as we left the scene and disappears taking with Gilles with them.
Author Notes
Happy Halloween, I don't know why Gilles wanted Ritsuka and Mashu for but it was probably for something not PG-13 (I got the idea from Fate/Zero Abridged), and who was the robbed figure? I'm going to take a break, I'll upload the next chapter when I can.
Leave a comment/review as always.
Peace~