~ Chapter 27 ~

The midday sun was streaming through the penthouse windows when Alex and Marlena finally headed downstairs for what should have been breakfast. Although they had almost given in to their mutual desire, reason had eventually gotten the better of them and they'd managed – reluctantly – to rein in their passion. Still, they couldn't keep from touching. The freedom to express their true feelings was exhilarating, and they couldn't get enough of it. They delighted in the smallest of things – bantering in the kitchen as they prepared a simple meal, clasping hands across the table, exchanging quick kisses as they cleaned up, laughing together at a shared joke…

As they put away the last of the dishes, Marlena turned to Alex. His eyes darkened with concern as he noticed she was frowning. It was the first time in hours that the smile had left her face, and he needed to know why.

"What's the matter?"

"It just struck me. This is how it used to be between us, isn't it?"

The question seemed harmless enough, so he answered.

"You're right. It is. From the exciting to the mundane, we enjoyed every moment we spent together."

"I can sense that. The way we're interacting is so familiar to me."

Her exhalation was tinged with sorrow. Reaching for her hand, he led her to the sofa.

"Let's sit. We need to talk."

Curling into his warm embrace, she waited expectantly for him to begin.

"You took a huge step today," he remarked, keeping his tone carefully neutral so as not to influence her response. "How are you feeling about it?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

"I believe I do. If we're going to move forward, I want us to be open and honest, always."

"You think I have misgivings? Or maybe even regrets?"

"It would be normal. Expected, even. You've been married to John for years, and he's a big part of your life."

"Was. Past tense."

"That's the amnesia talking. If you got your memory back right now, you'd feel differently, I'm certain of it."

"I'm not. The more time I spend with you, the more I remember our past. I've spent lots of time with John, but it's yielded nothing. That has to be significant."

"Maybe you're still being influenced by the hypnosis I performed on you to help jog your memory. I really was pushing for you to remember me first," he admitted, his tone apologetic.

"Honestly, I don't think that's it."

She hugged him tightly, eager to reassure him that she didn't resent the tactics he'd used in their past sessions.

"John's accused me of brainwashing you. Why don't you agree with him?"

She turned in his arms and kissed him gently before replying.

"You love me. You have for years. You would never deliberately hurt me. Of course, you wanted me to remember you first. That's natural. It also makes sense, because if I only remembered John and Roman and Don, I might never have realized that there was still a huge chunk of my life missing."

He breathed a sigh of relief. She understood. Still, he worried that she might come to believe she'd acted hastily in telling her husband to leave.

"It's okay for you to still have feelings for John. I'd never ask you to bury them to focus only on me."

"What if you're the only one I want to focus on?" Her eyes took on a familiar glimmer.

"As your psychiatrist, I'd have to say that probably wouldn't be in your best interests."

"But as my former fiancé? As my former lover? How would that man respond?"

Pulling away from her slightly, he shook his head.

"That's part of the problem, isn't it? I'm all of those men. It's a conflict of interest. We can't go on this way."

Her insides turned to ice at his words. Was he seriously considering walking away from them as a couple, just so he could continue treating her? He couldn't. She wouldn't let him. Nothing was more important to her than keeping him in her life in a personal way, rather than in a professional one.

"Give my case to someone else. Someone you trust. Stop being my therapist."

The words tumbled out in a rush. He caught the terror in her voice, and he once again entwined his fingers with hers.

"Did you think there was any other choice?" At her slight nod in the affirmative, he lifted her quivering chin so that her eyes met his. "I would sooner stop breathing than give you up, you must know that. I've spent years apart from you, and I vowed I would never, ever let that happen again."

The smile that broke across her face was dazzling in its brilliance. Throwing her arms around his neck, she peppered his forehead and cheeks with soft kisses, before capturing his mouth with hers. That kiss, initially tender, quickly became fierce, as she released all of the panic she'd felt moments earlier.

"Don't ever leave me," she pleaded, with an intensity that startled them both.

"I won't. I promise."

They held each other tightly as their breathing became more measured and her shivering subsided.

"I've actually been considering this for a while," he began, as she curled up in the haven of his arms once more. Nestling her head on his chest, she detected the strong, steady beat of his heart. It was comforting, and she snuggled even closer. "I'm not sure you still need a psychiatrist."

Unwilling to move even an inch, her words were muffled as she responded to his unexpected declaration.

"But I still have amnesia. Are you saying you think it will go away on its own, or do you mean that it doesn't matter if I get my memory back or not?"

"Of course, it matters. I want you to get your memory back as much as John and your family do, maybe even more. I just don't want…"

After several seconds of silence, it became clear that Alex was reluctant to continue.

"What is it you don't want?" Marlena prodded.

"I… Okay, this is going to sound selfish, but… I don't want anyone else treating you. I want to be the one to help you, not some random doctor. This is my specialty, and I'm good at it. In fact, I'm better than good. I'm an expert in this field. How can I turn your care over to someone less qualified?"

"There must be other psychiatrists out there who have training in dealing with amnesia. I'm sure they could help me."

"I know. You're right. I just want to make sure that everything's done properly. This is far too important, to both of us, for someone to come in and botch it."

She took his face between her hands and held his gaze.

"You know what's more important? Us. Together. Rebuilding the life we had. That's worth a bit of uncertainty in terms of who treats me, don't you think?"

He lowered his eyes briefly, before raising them to meet hers again, as he struggled with the lump in his throat.

"Us. Together. You have no idea how hearing you say that makes me feel. I've waited my entire adult life to be reunited with you. I'm so afraid that something is going to snatch my happiness away."

"Like some unethical therapist messing with my mind?" She deliberately injected a teasing note into her tone, in the hopes of lightening his mood.

"I'm serious, Marlena. I've spent years preparing for this moment, studying techniques for dealing with amnesia in the hopes that I could restore your memories. It was the only way we could get back what we used to have."

Her brow furrowed as she absorbed the meaning of his words, and her voice was halting as she attempted to make sense of them.

"You've been preparing for this? You knew about my amnesia? And yet, you stayed away until now. I don't understand… If we loved each other so much, why didn't you come back for me sooner? Why did you let me go through the pain of losing you? You said you'd do everything in your power to keep things just as they were, forever."

His sharp intake of breath made her pause. Pain flickered in his eyes, and she felt a corresponding ache, as if his anguish were her own. He glanced at the photograph that Marlena had insisted on bringing downstairs, now occupying a place of honour on the table behind the sofa, then back at her.

"That night…"

"You promised. I remember."