As I have gotten up to the editing of Chapter 20, I thought I might as well give you an additional chapter before Saturday (and might even give you another chapter later in the week before that, so if you haven't followed, you might want to). I am working from home at least the rest of this week and my little interactions with you will be about all the personal contact I get with anyone besides my family as two of my boys are quarantined for covid exposure that happened last Thursday. They have no symptoms and are to be tested today, so hopefully in a few days we will get the all-clear.

Chapter 12: New Milk

I was rather relieved to be spending the evening with just Georgiana after three dinners with others since we had arrived in London and all the time spent in the company trying to be myself but to do nothing for which I would be judged. While it would not be a burden to have Miss Elizabeth with me, I hoped she would understand after we wed about all the time I needed alone.

I excused myself from Georgiana and told her I would see her at dinner. Then I retreated to my rooms and attempted to sort out all my confused feelings and what exactly had happened today. There were so many wonderful things to recall about how Miss Elizabeth and I had talked but, yet, there was also the beggar boy and his sister, the conundrum that was Edwin. I lay on my bed and stroked and caressed the little yellow ribbon between my thumb and forefinger, wrapped it around my fingers, twined it around my wrist and clasped it in my hand. I tried to focus on it to the exclusion of all else. Finally, I felt calm.

Dinner was simple as was our preference when we dined alone. As is typical we were seated at a smaller round table in a room adjoining the dining room, served by a single servant as the room was not overly large. But even one servant was one too many to talk about what was foremost on our minds.

Undoubtedly the whole household had learned of my engagement to Miss Elizabeth from Georgiana's maid or my valet, but they had been lectured many times, the women by my housekeeper, Mrs. Grotburn, and the men by my butler, Mr. Smith, about the importance of being discrete, yet who could ever know that would be kept with certainty? The matter with Edwin was not something to be bandied about. So, we discussed the museum, the Gardiner girls, Georgiana's growing friendship with Miss Lucas and our upcoming plans.

Georgiana asked, "When do you suppose we will learn the plans decided upon for when the Miss Bennets and Miss Lucas will depart?"

"We should learn something tomorrow. They can hardly depart on Saturday if they do not decide on it by Friday." I hoped desperately that I would be permitted to escort them hither, would not be told to wait and bide my time.

"Perhaps it is better if they do depart on Saturday. Even he cannot act so quickly. Miss Bennet will be safer if at a distance from him."

I nodded, "And what of you, Georgiana, shall you wish to travel to Netherfield with Mrs. Annesley? Unless things have changed George shall still be nearby with the militia. It is likely you may be in company together. He is a particular favorite of the younger Miss Bennets."

My whole household knew that George Wickham had lost our favor if not the particular reasons for it. Whenever we spoke of what had happened where others were about, we made all mentions of him vague so that no scandal could attach to my sister.

"I vowed to do my best to help you with Miss Elizabeth when we visited Lady Catherine and I have done my best with the same task here in London. Why should you think I would leave off now?" Georgiana asked, tipping her head slightly to one side.

"As much as I would welcome your company," I explained, "I would not for anything subject you to that man unless you are willing. Also, I am man enough to face Miss Elizabeth's father without your help."

"Undoubtedly you will. I doubt I should be called upon to join you for that most private of conversations, be welcomed for port and a pipe," the corner of Georgiana's mouth quirked then, "yet I believe I may aide you with her sisters and mother, if not her father."

"Then I would welcome your presence."

"Should you mind if I invite my friends to join our dinner tomorrow?" Georgiana asked. "If we are departing soon, I should not wish to go without a proper leave-taking."

"Just as you like." I agreed without hesitation, although I would have preferred for our company to not grow larger. My sister asks for so little that I like to indulge her when she does. I added, "This is your home as well as mine, any you invite are always welcome, so long as the cook has ample warning." I wondered who she planned to invite and thus asked, "Who do you have in mind?"

"I am not sure," she responded. "I do not know who shall be at home when I call. I believe Miss Dinah Kendall is in town and perhaps Miss Pike. I should like to introduce the Miss Bennets and Miss Lucas to my friends. Mrs. Annesley and I shall make the rounds and return the calls I missed."

After dinner I listened as Georgiana practiced on the piano forte. When she was finished, she asked, "Is there an instrument at Netherfield?"

I was glad to be able to report that there was, and that Miss Bingley, Mrs. Hurst and Miss Elizabeth had all played upon it.

"I suppose I shall call upon the Hursts and the Bingleys as well," she told me, "as I missed the ladies' call this morning; they left their card."

"I know they are not your favorites," I responded, "but your courtesy is most appreciated."

"At our last dinner I found Miss Bingley somewhat improved," she responded. "I know Mr. Bingley's choices have impacted her chances to better her own consequence. I do not wish her to think I would turn my back on her over such a thing."

"You truly are a kind lady," I declared, "and the very best sister."

"You have none other to compare with me." She responded and winked.

"Still, you are my favorite."

"And, Brother, you are my favorite, too, even if Edwin would seek to claim the honorific of brother."

"Selfishly, I hope you would always refuse him such."

"Well as I have no plans to marry any of his brothers, I believe I may safely promise you that. I welcome him being our family, but the title of brother belongs to you alone. I must marry a man with only sisters as I wish for no other brother, Brother."

"Surely you would not reject a man solely because of the relations he has," I bantered back. She owned that she would not.

I was content. It was a relief to retire after dinner without having had any serious talk or much worry on my mind, to have no special responsibilities waiting for me in the morning. Although I knew I should see my uncle the judge, I kept putting it off. I had not seen him since my father's funeral and only two times before that as I recall; I am most uncomfortable around people that I do not know well and there was the added complication that he looked both like and unlike my father, which cause disquiet within me.

I woke refreshed and calm on Friday morning. I knew now was the most opportune time to deal with the matters which I had been putting off before I broke my fast, making sure everything was as ready as it could be before my imminent departure. Even now Netherfield was being opened and our servants would pack our trunks today in case we left on the morrow.

My solicitor had delivered drafts of a marriage contract and a new will the day before so while I would finalize nothing now, I took the time to peruse them and upon my review determined they would do. I also wrote letters informing my steward and others who would need to know of my relocation to Netherfield and the open-ended nature of my stay; I did not date those letters and left them unsealed as I did not want to send them before I departed.

I also penned a letter to Lady Catherine, telling her what Aunt Emmeline proposed for Georgiana and requesting her support in opposition to any such scheme. I also asked Lady Catherine about her perceptions as to where Edwin's loyalty lay between the Earl and me if he had to choose. I inquired as to how Anne got on and suggested that when she grew frustrated, she might enjoy a rocking chair. I recounted meeting Miss Elizabeth's aunt and uncle and the imminent departure for Netherfield. As there was still room to write cross-wise, I left it open as well as I thought I might add to it.

When I set this letter to the side, I realized my missive to my aunt had none of the stiff formality I had used in addressing letters to Lady Catherine before. Perhaps I truly had gained an aunt when she had given up the idea of being my mother-in-law. It was a pleasing thought as though I had not yet informed Lady Matlock, who I had formerly addressed as Aunt Emmeline, any previous closeness I had felt for her was at an end for her treatment of my sister, and I had previously disassociated myself from anything more than a polite formal relationship with Aunt Matilda Skeffington.

I also considered how many more relatives I might gain when I married Miss Elizabeth. The Gardiners though in trade were genteel and dignified, Mrs. Bennet and Mrs. Phillips might be uncouth, but they seemed to have no clear malice. Of course, I was not pleased with how Mrs. Bennet treated Miss Elizabeth, praising her other daughters more and attempting to match her with Mr. Collins, but I could never hate the woman who brought my love into the world.

Mr. Bennet was hard for me to understand. I knew he was highly intelligent, a scholar, the source of many attributes I admired about Miss Elizabeth. However, from Miss Elizabeth I had learned that he enjoyed finding amusement in other people's foibles, was quick with sarcasm and a dry humor. Miss Elizabeth did not like that he belittled his wife in such a way that she was often oblivious to it. Mrs. Bennet for all her faults appears to be of at least average intellect, so she should understand most things as well as the average person would. So, if she could not decipher his meaning in these things, what chance did I have to understand him?

I had not a doubt that I could be easily confused and confounded by Mr. Bennet. I know that people can use the same words to mean very different things, but I have difficulty interpreting when the standard meaning is not intended.

It was very difficult for me as a child to understand how a combination of two words, might alter their meaning from when they were apart. While I grew to understand the standard meaning in words, phrases and sentences, and now have a highly expansive vocabulary, the tone of voice or facial gestures that may alert others to sarcasm, teasing or jokes is often lost on me. At least I would have Georgiana to help me where she could. But as there was nothing I could do to cure my deficit in this area, I decided to think on it no longer.

I had a leisurely morning after I broke my fast. I read the paper and enjoyed my coffee. I lingered to not arrive for our outing too soon. I was surprised that Edwin did not arrive before ten to travel there with me but determined to leave when I ought without him.

When I arrived, I quickly understood why Edwin had never came to my house. He was already at the Gardiners' home. Miss Elizabeth greeted me and then whispered, "He has been here an hour, claiming he mis-remembered the time my sister said to call." I checked my pocket watch and determined that I was right on time. I barely had time to exchange a few pleasantries with the ladies before Mrs. Gardiner proposed we set out.

Our party was so large that it required two carriages with all the children and the ladies, with Edwin and I riding our horses (although I believe if he had been given the choice, he would have gladly traveled with Mrs. Gardiner and Miss Bennet). Fortunately, Mrs. Gardiner had procured an additional carriage and driver from her neighbor for our outing. Mrs. Gardiner rode in one carriage with the two small boys and Miss Bennet, while Miss Elizabeth, Miss Lucas and the young Miss Gardiners rode in another.

When we alighted near the park, I assisted Miss Lucas out, followed by the two Miss Gardiners and finally Miss Elizabeth. I could see that Edwin was waiting by the other carriage to assist Miss Bennet out. There seemed to be some delay, but I reasoned it was because it was more difficult to get the younger Gardiners ready to exit.

We all walked over to the other carriage and I saw Mrs. Gardiner step down with Edwin's assistance, with him then helping the older Master Gardiner out. Mrs. Gardiner noted, "Unfortunately, Tommy fell asleep and has as good as trapped my niece."

Edwin and I then moved to the right to have a better angle and viewed Miss Bennet through the open door. I could then see some of the charm Edwin saw in Miss Bennet. She was holding the youngest Master Gardiner, who must have been no more than two years of age, cradled in her arms. He gripped Miss Bennet's neck with one hand, his blond head heavy on her shoulder. He had his thumb in his mouth and his eyes were closed. This image recollected to me seeing my own dear mother holding a young Georgiana, a similar sweetness in her actions.

"Tommy napping could not have come at a worse time," said Mrs. Gardiner, holding the older boy's hand. "I would stay with him, but he is liable to wake if shifted and he did not sleep well last night. He does not take kindly to being awakened after having just fallen asleep, but John is eager to have his new milk."

"I will stay with my sister," Miss Elizabeth declared, "Miss Lucas can help you with the girls in my stead."

Miss Lucas agreed, and the girls went to take her hands. Edwin began volunteering to stay as well when the eldest Miss Gardiner tugged on his sleeve. "Please Mr. Colonel sir, you promised to accompany me!"

He crinkled his brow, but then smiled at her and then gallantly offering Miss Gardiner his arm.

"No, no Emma," her mother corrected, "you are much too young to take a man's arm that is not your father or another relative."

I waited and addressed myself to Mrs. Gardiner, "With your permission I would like to remain outside the carriage to protect the ladies." It was hardly necessary as the coachmen remained, though one of them was standing near where our mounts were hitched to the back of the last carriage.

I could tell Mrs. Gardiner was considering the matter while also anxious to be off as her older son was pulling on her hand in the direction of the park. "I suppose that will be acceptable" she said, "but mind that you stay well away from the carriage."

I nodded my agreement. I helped hand Miss Elizabeth in (not that she needed my assistance, but because I wished to hold her hand for that moment) and then retreated several feet.

The rest of the party then set off for the park and for the yet unseen milkmaid in the distance who would milk her cow before them and then pour the fresh milk from the bucket into a cup for them to drink. Such was thought most beneficial for the digestion, but as I was used to milk nearly as fresh at Pemberley, I certainly had no need to drink it now, not when the reason for this outing was in the carriage and not walking through the park with her aunt.