Tony was setting the table when Pepper walked in. She shoved her shopping bags in the closet and walked into the kitchen.
"Mommy," the kids said as they ran to her.
"I missed you guys," she said as she bent down to hug them. Maria took her hand and pulled her into the kitchen.
"I made this for you," she said, handing her a crayon drawing of complete nonsense but it made Pepper smile nonetheless.
"It's beautiful. Let's hang it up," she said.
She returned to the kitchen to help with dinner when she felt a set of eyes on her.
"You look really good Pep. Your hair looks nice and your eyes are sparkling. I don't know what it is. Did you change your makeup?" Tony said.
Tony noticed and Brad didn't. He really noticed my eyes.
"Thanks. I decided to try eyelash extensions," she said quietly as she continued to help him put dinner on the table.
They were about to sit down when Pepper's parents walked through the door.
"This is not New Haven but it is quite beautiful here. We just walked the entire length of the lake," Geraldine said.
"I'd like to do that one day," Pepper said as she bit into an asparagus.
"You're looking well today. You look more like your old self," Geraldine said.
"So Harold tonight is my poker game. Will you like to join us?" Tony asked as he grabbed a piece of bread.
"I haven't played in years but I think I will, thanks," he said.
Dinner was quiet and Pepper let the kids stay up and watch tv until Tony's friends arrived. She was sitting on the couch with them and little Tony with his head on her lap and the doorbell rang. It was Happy. He arrived with a six pack of beer and some kind of cake. He walked in and the kids ran to him.
"Uncle Happy," they said as they hugged him.
Pepper got up to take the beer and cake from him and bring it in the kitchen.
"Wow Pepper you look great. Did you do something different? I can't put my finger on it,"
"I had my hair done and I got some eyelash extensions," she confessed.
"Are you checking out my woman?" Tony said coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her and kissing her check.
Pepper hit him playfully in the ribs.
"I told you you're being too critical. You're hot. All my friends think you're hot," he whispered in her ear not moving from his position behind her.
"I need to bring the kids up for bed," she said as she broke free.
Anthony jr heard this and tried to take off but Pepper grabbed him and scooped him up. Tony grabbed Maria who passed gas like she usually did and they all laughed and Morgan followed.
After the kids were tucked in and stories were read they went back downstairs and their neighbors Will and Janice arrived. He brought over some hot wings and a bottle of Bourbon.
"You are going to stay far away from this," she said to Tony as she grabbed the Bourbon.
Back in his heavy drinking days Bourbon was Tony's drink of choice. He would drink and mask every emotion and sometimes he was out for days.
"Come on Pep. That was a long time ago. I've got a handle on my liquor, you know that. I can have one," Tony said.
"Ok if you insist," she said, handing it back to him.
Pepper went into Tony's workshop which also doubled as their garage to get some wine and grabbed a bottle of red and white. It was that kind of night. She might need two bottles.
Harold and Geraldine came out of the bedroom and he helped Tony set up the table and get the chips and cards.
"Mom, Dad, you remember our neighbors Janis and Will," Pepper said.
"Nice to see you again." Geraldine said and Harold nodded at them.
"Janis and I are going to go outside and have some wine. Would you like to join us?" Pepper asked her mother.
"No thanks. I'm going to watch my programs," she stated as she found a spot in the living room.
"Hey Pep on your way out you want to let the dogs out?" Tony asked.
"Come on pups lets go,"'she said as she clapped her leg and they followed her to the door.
Pepper sat down with Janis and they started with their first glass of wine.
"How are you doing babe? You look stressed. Still not having sex?" Janis asked.
Pepper watched the dogs running off in the far end of the yard while she shook her head no.
"Why not? Are you not attracted to Tony anymore? He's hot," Janis exclaimed.
"No I'm very attracted to Tony it's not that," Pepper said as she turned to face her.
"Then what is it?"
"I just feel crazy. I feel like I'm in someone else's life. I'm not comfortable in my body and I can't remember anything," Pepper said.
"Maybe sex is just what you need. You know like a tension bang. Just get it over with. It doesn't have to be perfect sex," Janis suggested.
"I can't. I look at myself and I cringe. I went to see Dr. Blaine in Manhattan for a consultation for a mommy makeover but she is refusing to work on me until I go see a therapist for six months. Can you imagine?"
"Wow Dr. Blaine is the best out there. Why did you go back? You said you didn't want the surgery after the first consultation because you have daughters and you didn't want them to have unrealistic beauty expectations," Janis explained.
Finally someone who knows why I decided not to get the surgery Pepper thought.
"But I'm already married and I have no one to impress. I've had my kids and I'm settled down. I'm 53. They will know I didn't have surgery until I was this old," she tried to rationalize.
"Look no judgement, I'm just telling you what you said, but I think you think it's worse than it is. Your breasts are pretty remarkable for having three kids. You were an insane breast feeder so your stomach skin would shrink back smoothly and honestly it did," Janis explained.
"In my mind I was thirty five before my coma. This has been a hard pill to swallow for me," she said now onto her second glass of wine.
"I'm sorry. I wish I could help," Janis said.
"I know you and Will play with others but have you ever had an affair?" Pepper blurted out .
"What? I have no need to. Will and I sleep with everyone we want. As long as we're both involved," Janis explained.
"But you never wanted another mans attention or wanted to sleep with someone else by yourself or had feelings for someone else,"
"Oh no. Are you having feelings for someone else?" she asked.
"I don't know what I feel. My ex came by the other day and it was so easy to talk to him. I remember everything about our relationship and when I look at Tony even though his eyes look like melting chocolate and he's sexy I can't remember our first date or our first kiss. I can't remember the first time we had sex or what it feels like with him or when he proposed. It's all blank. I mostly feel like he's this hot guy I live with that's very charming and very sweet and I kind of have a crush on him but then I remember all the bad stuff about Tony before we got together and I'm like what am I doing but I know that's not fair. He's been really sweet. And when he kisses me I have weak moments and then when I'm not my mind wanders and I second guess everything. I don't even know if I love my kids," Pepper said.
"Pepper I can't imagine what you're going through. It sounds like a living nightmare. All I can say is that you love those kids more than anything and Tony is a really good guy. Stop thinking so much. You're where you're supposed to be. If you feel like you have a crush on him then just have sex with him. If you can't feel then you might as well have fun and see what happens. Maybe you will fall in love with him again,"
Pepper started her third glass and she was feeling the effects.
"Who tries to get you to have an affair with them when they don't even give you oral sex?" she blurted out.
"What?"
"My-my ex-
Pepper burped.
"He never once in five years together went down on me,"
She was drunk talking now.
"I think you know what you need to do," Janis said.
Tony's game was finished and Will came out to get Janis who was helping Pepper walk.
Tony saw Pepper was very drunk and helped her into the bedroom.
"I'll be right back," he said.
He let the dogs in and said goodbye to everyone and goodnight to Harold and he was back to Pepper.
He walked into the room and Pepper was kissing him.
"Pep come on. You need to go lay down," he said ignoring her advances.
She took off her heels and pulled the leggings that were under her dress down and crawled onto the bed.
"Tony I have an idea,"
"Oh yeah what's that?" he asked.
"I'm so horny. I was thinking about the times I caught you going down on other girls. I want you to go down on me but I don't want you to see anything so I'm gonna blind fold you and sit on your face," she said as she threw herself over him.
"Pepper there is no way this is happening between us when you're drunk like this," Tony said.
"Then how about I ride you," she said as she straddled him and went for the waistband on his boxer briefs.
"Pepper no," Tony said firmly and he was met with a smack across the face.
"You never tell mistress no," she said as she went for his waist band again.
Tony's cheek was stinging in shock from the slap but he knew Pepper didn't mean it. They have played rough before and she was often the mistress but she never slapped him hard enough to hurt. He had to admit it was hot to see Pepper like this again but he knew in the morning she was not going to be happy.
"Pepper you have to stop. You're drunk. If you don't stop then I will have to sleep in the garage and lock you out,"
"If you don't fuck me right now then I'm going to masturbate," she said sloppily. Trying to keep her words straight was a struggle.
"Then go right ahead. I'm not having sex with you when you're drunk like this. You'll be upset tomorrow,"
Pepper reached into the toy drawer and pulled out the dildo made from the mold of Tony.
"Mmmm but my vagina won't," she said looking at him with a come hither look.
"Pepper you're going to hurt yourself. Stop it," he said trying to grab the dildo from her.
Pepper took it and slapped him in the face with it. He finally pinned her down on the bed by her wrists.
"Yes Tony yes," she cried as she loosened the grip on the toy and Tony snatched it away quickly and put it back in the draw and locked it.
"Honey you need to go to sleep ok. We can talk about this tomorrow. I'm going to sleep in the garage," he said as he got up.
Pepper watched him leave and her eyes welled up in tears. It was senseless drunk crying but it put her to sleep.