When they pulled up to the Columbia University entrance, Saffron made a beeline out of the cab.

"But… no!" Akeem the cabbie called after her, desperately. "Wait!"

Saff was out of hearing range, but Jack caught the driver's plea.

"What's up?" he asked. "Something wrong?"

"Oh, yes," Akeem said, shaking his head sadly. "Your girlfriend is going to be surprised, I fear. Not the happy kind."

Jack eyed him coolly.

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

Akeem shrugged.

"We have been through this all before," he said, sighing. "She is not going to be happy. Again."

"Again?"

"Yes," Akeem told Jack. "The other day, when I drive you here? She found out bad, bad news. It was not a good sight after that. For a little while, anyway."

Just then, both men heard a scream that pierced not only their ears but ostensibly any in the surrounding area.

"Ah…" Akeem sighed, looking downcast. "Here we go again."

Jack, who held Saffron's suitcases in his hands, was shocked to see her come bolting out of an official-looking building straight for the cab.

"What the hell?" he asked.

"I'm not…" she began, seemingly out of breath, "... not enrolled!"

"No damn way!" Jack said, truly shocked.

"They have… no… record of me… enrolling!" Saffron told him, her eyes wide with horror. "Nothing! No classes! No dorm room! No…" Her voice deserted her. The tears suddenly streaming down her cheeks said it all.

"Oh, no," Akeem sighed, frowning. "I was hoping this was all a terrible mistake."

"What do you mean?" Saff asked.

"The other day, from the airport," he began, "I bring you both here. You were sleeping but you awake and tell me to drive to Columbia. So I do. Then you and your boyfriend…"

"He is NOT my BOYFRIEND!" Saffron snapped, loudly.

"... you both tell me you are going to find a room for you," Akeem continued. "Then you come back and say there is no room and no school this summer. You are angry until he whispers something in your ear. And you were not sad then. You were both laughing and happy. Something has changed?"

Saff and Jack looked at each other, neither quite knowing what to say upon hearing this revelation.

Akeem seemed to know the situation was dire and he quickly attempted to find a silver lining.

"The other day? Your boyfriend…"

"FOR THE LAST TIME," Saffron yelled at Akeem, "HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND! HE IS NOT MY LOVER! HE IS NOT ANYTHING TO ME! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!"

Jack shot her a withering look, then dropped his eyes to the ground. He couldn't look at Saff. Her words cut him to the core, even though she was telling the truth. It still hurt. He did care about her, but obviously the feeling wasn't mutual.

"... your friend here," Akeem corrected, looking wholly embarrassed for Jack, "said I should just take you back to his apartment and…"

"AND WHAT?!" Saffron demanded, still furious at the circumstances she now found herself dealing with.

"... and you would be staying there with him," Akeem told her.

"Oh, really?" Saffy snapped, harshly. "And what did I say then, hm? What?!"

Jack jammed his hands in his jeans pockets. Akeem scratched uncomfortably at the back of his neck.

"You said that was fine," Akeem told Saff. "Because you wanted to stay with him anyway."

Saffron looked from Akeem to Jack and then back again. She couldn't believe this was happening. And yet, it was.

"Well," Jack said with a sigh, "now we've solved the mystery of the lantern… and why you ended up in bed with me."

Akeem's dark eyes went wide with this revelation. Saffron shot daggers at Jack.

"Oh, shut up!" she hissed. "Come on! Let's get out of here!"

With that, she got into the cab, slamming the door behind her. Jack and Akeem exchanged questioning looks before Akeem took his place in the driver's seat and Jack joined Saffron in the back.

"Home, James," Jack told Akeem, who offered him a shrug of the shoulders and a sympathetic glance in the rearview mirror as they left Columbia and headed back downtown.