Hey! It's been a long time.
I think communication is important, so I'm making an update!
I'm pretty sure I can't just make a whole chapter about this, so I've added a little extra story at the end about an upcoming character!
So. Explanation time! I finally finished my math class, and oh my god was it so much work while it was here. I had to spent an actual three and a half hours outside of school a few days ago to take my final, but it's over now and I can finally breathe! I'm really, really hoping this means I can start writing more often, but to be entirely honest motivation has not existed within me lately. I've not written in a long time, and I really need to change that. But seriously, I couldn't be more excited to continue writing The Break Of Dawn. I have finally begun to figure out what the heck is going on in the plot right now, but I'm still sort of lost on what to do. I may have mentioned this before, but basically I'm at the spot in the story where I have barely planned what's going to happen and being a person that relies on detail and heavy planning, it's intimidating to write.
I just need to find the energy within myself to actually write. Basically, horrible writer's block, and I feel like any time I put a pen to paper- not literally, I type- I end up writing absolute garbage. It's a bad feeling but I sort of just need to... get over it? I don't know. Basically, I might release a couple more of these fun, short extras before I'm truly happy with the next few chapters.
bleh. basically, stupid writing problems make it tough to put out more chapters. I'm not going to stop, but please don't be surprised if it takes a while before the next update. lack of inspiration is horrible to slosh through and I really don't want to write chapters I dislike and post them just for the sake of it.
Also, I want to talk about some brief plans for the future. It would be my goal to, after finishing TBOD, publish a smaller book of shorts like the one below that consist of backstory or just characters that don't quite fit into the main plot but I still really want to write. I'm also planning on making a revised version of TBOD after its completion, splitting it into The Break Of Dawn and Infinite Dusk! obviously that will take a while, but i realized a bit too late that i should have made a book two instead of a part two, haha.
sorry if the extra is just... badly written? i'm trying to get back into practice so it's a little rusty, sorry :)
okay, i'm just rambling now. i haven't even eaten breakfast and my brain is not functioning. enjoy the short, and have a great day, everyone! (also, I'll do reviews at the bottom like usual!)
Gravel could feel the heat of the dogs' breath on her hind legs as she scrambled to escape, her paws slipping in her a pool of her kits' blood. She held her breath and tried not to vomit as she passed one of their bodies, lying mangled and disfigured beneath the fangs of a rabid Rottweiler.
It was all she could do to keep running. The beasts were just a pawstep behind her, and any moment now she would succumb to the same fate as her kittens. But it felt as if it didn't matter. Now that her kits were dead, so was her reason to live. Her paws slowed, and she prepared to feel the sharp sting of fangs on her haunches as she was eaten alive.
A small mew caught her attention. Gravel's head jerked in its direction, bounding away from dripping fangs that clamped down on the empty air where her legs had been just a moment before. All she could see was a small tuft of white fur at the top of a Twoleg nest, and without a second thought Gravel raced towards it. Could it be one of her kits? They all shared white fur to some extent, due in part to their snowy-colored father. If this was her kitten, she would give her life and more to save it.
The gray mottled she-cat was now sprinting across the width of the alley, turning sharply enough to confuse the dogs. With a single movement she bounded up onto one of the metal containers that Twolegs filled with rancid crowfood, and was now only a tree-length away from the worried kitten. It continued to cry out like a dying bird, its shrieks wrapped in fear and confusion. The mother's instincts inside Gravel made her even more frantic to reach her poor kitten, but she couldn't see a way up the building. The walls were mostly smooth, made of the red-brown rock that characterized the majority of Twolegplace. She decided that it would have to do.
With the baying of angry dogs just a fox-length below her, Gravel leapt into the air with her claws unsheathed and hooked them onto the rough surface of stone. For a moment her grip loosened and she slid a whisker-length to the ground, but with willpower and muscular strength she worked her way back upwards. The hounds were ignoring her now, too busy feasting on the corpses of her beloved children, and she climbed with the tiniest pinprick of hope that there was still a kit left to save. She was sure that they had all died; in turn Gravel had glanced at their bodies as she made for escape.
As Gravel hooked her claws into the small pawholds between blocks of stone, her paws slick with sweat and her eyes hazing over with tears, she remembered her kittens. There had been Stone, with her dark fur and bright eyes, ever joyous. Fern, named after the stripes in his fur that resembled the leafy plant Gravel had seen on the boundaries of Twolegplace. Wire, her temper as sharp as the fences Twolegs wove around their homes. There was Shrew, who was skittish as her namesake and almost as gentle. And Ghost, who like his father tended to disappear, only standing out with his bright, nearly pure-white fur. His eyes were beginning to turn green, which relieved her. She knew that most white cats with blue eyes developed problems with hearing, and Ghost was nearly all white, with only a few spots of grey fur. She wasn't sure if it still applied, but she figured it didn't matter anymore. Unless he managed to survive.
Gravel was hoping that Ghost had found a way to escape and was sitting scared on top of the Twoleg nest. She ignored the fact that she'd seen his body in the pile that the dogs had made so quickly. He couldn't be dead. Who else could the kit above her belong to?
She was nearly at the top. All the she-cat could imagine was a reunion with her little one, a sole survivor of the wild massacre that had so caught her off guard. Gravel felt guilty for surviving. She should have joined her kittens in the afterlife. But if Ghost was still alive, it was her duty to save him, to protect him from the world, like she had failed to do with his siblings.
Her head cleared the top of the nest. She dragged herself, exhausted, onto its smooth and cold gray surface, her head swinging wildly around in search of the kitten.
At first, Gravel's heart stopped in her chest. She had caught sight of a small white tail peeking out from behind a cylinder on the roof. It emerged slowly, and hope rose in her like smoke rising from a fire. But as the kit faced her, the flame was extinguished. The kitten was pure white, with round, terrified eyes. They were blue.
The gray she-cat's heart turned to stone in that instant. Everything she loved was dead. Her mate had disappeared suddenly half a moon ago, never to return, leaving her alone with a huge litter of hungry kittens that she couldn't support on her own. Now her kits, each and every one of them eaten by dogs. The world wanted to crush every drop of happiness out of her, and only rose her hopes to dash them in an instant. She decided right then that nothing good could ever come of love. Only disaster.
She turned away from the unfamiliar kit and strode across the Twoleg nest's roof, ready to scale its opposite side. Gravel did not need a life with other cats in it. She would become a loner, a vagabond like her mate had been. Where had he gone now? Likely it was the forest, where prey wasn't infested with disease and dogs couldn't chase him through the open streets. Gravel had dreamed of running off there with her kits since they were born, save for the threat of the wild cats that lived there. They were rumored to be extremely territorial, and would attack on sight. She had thought at the time that it was too dangerous for her kits to live there, but resolved to do so once they were older. If only she had taken the risk then, they might still be alive.
Gravel moved her paws closer to the edge of the Twoleg nest. There was nothing for her here anymore, only corpses and nightmares. She would leave it behind and try to build a new life.
A meow stopped her.
She turned around. The small kit was lying on its back, gazing up at her with its bright blue eyes.
"I can't bring you with me," Gravel said quietly, though she doubted the kit could understand her. It looked much too young. "You'd only get hurt."
Though her words were true, she knew that the kit would be left to certain death without her. It looked perhaps a moon old, barely strong enough to walk stably. How would it feed itself? Gravel couldn't leave behind another dead kit in her wake.
Maybe it was the kit's eyes. They reminded her of her mate's. There was warmth in them, kindness and caring. She could get lost in their endless blue.
But she shook her head. Her mate had left her and her children for dead. This kit couldn't be anything like him.
Gravel resolved to keep it alive. As she took a few steps closer, she noted by its scent that the kitten was female. The kit continued to stare at her, her wide eyes the cold blue of the daytime sky.
A sudden howl made her jolt, and Gravel moved to the edge of the Twoleg nest to peer at the scene of her kits' death. She could barely stand to look at it. Clumps of grey and white fur were scattered around the alley, bones soaked in blood piled at the feet of the feasting dogs. What seemed to be the leader of the pack had raised its crimson soaked maw to the sky and let out a victorious howl at the moon, sated with its meal of her children. Gravel felt an anger rise in her and longed for enough strength to tear open each and every one of the vile beasts, leaving their innards for the rats like they had done to her poor kits.
She turned back to the she-kit, bile rising in her throat. She couldn't bear to see the dogs any longer. They continued to howl, and the fur on the back of Gravel's neck bristled.
The kit hadn't moved at all, and seemed confused. The grown she-cat wondered how it was possible that this kitten wasn't in the slightest bit afraid of the pack of dogs.
It struck her very quickly. The kit was unlucky beyond imagination. Abandoned by her parents and unable to hear. Or perhaps she'd been abandoned because of her deafness. Either way, Gravel felt a stab of rage at the audacity of the kit's mother or father to leave her behind. They had had a happy, living kit right at their paws, and left her for death. Gravel didn't have the luxury of such a choice. Her kits had been taken from her.
The tabby she-cat took the kit's scruff in her mouth and approached the edge of the Twoleg nest, her eyes set on the woods at the edge of Twolegplace. Determination rose in her, stronger than ever before, perhaps because she had already lost everything dear to her. She would build a new life in the name of her lost kits. No cat would ever be abandoned or left behind again.
As she padded along the Twoleg streets carved out of stone and laced with shadow, Gravel passed an overgrown shrub bedecked with roses as white as the winter snow that was so detrimental to her survival whenever it arrived. The kit reached out weakly with a paw as they passed, and Gravel thought it was her attempt at communication.
"Rose?" she asked through the fur in her mouth, forgetting momentarily that the kitten was deaf. She paused again for a moment and motioned towards the flower bush with her tail. The kit smiled with her eyes, closing them slowly before opening them again.
Gravel couldn't find it within herself to smile, but felt a touch of accomplishment at discovering one tiny thing about the mysterious kitten. Her new name.
reviews :)
succulentsofa - aw thank you! and uh, maybe it's a bit more clear who they are now haha. they're actually not OC submits but characters I've had the idea for from the start! only now did they start to articulate that a bit more. they're also surprisingly important to the plot and some familiar characters, something i didn't even plan? the idea just came to me lol. writing is magic sometimes. and thank you!
Mintflight0245 - hi! thank you very much! that means a lot! hope school is going well for you btw :) and this chapter is sort of the backstory of gravel and rose, though hopefully they'll be officially introduced, along with a few others... next chapter? and thank you! diamondpaw has quickly become a favorite of mine. have a lovely day!
thank you everyone for reading and more importantly for being patient with these extremely sporadic updates. no idea when i'll publish a chapter next honestly, but now that i have a more concrete idea of what's going to happen, i'm hoping itll be soon? regardless you're all very kind people for being here, and i hope you all have a great week! :)
oh, and happy late halloween!