"Hey Hayashi, we have a game tonight do you want to come?" Bokuto looked at me as we ate lunch at the school rooftop.
"Sure. What time?" I didn't mind attending because I knew Akaashi or the managers were going to hunt me down if I didn't go either way. I've been through hell because of those three lying to me.
"It starts at 4 and ends at 7. I hope it's not too late for you." He's being so considerate of me. "I can walk you home!" It seemed like he really wanted me there. On Bokuto's face, there was a twinkling look in his eyes wishing upon the stars for me to come. He must see me as his number one supporter. Everyone in the team does.
A soft chuckle left my lips. "Sure. It's nice to leave the house once and a while. I don't see what's wrong? I'll bring Kazue too. She'll be exposed to other things as well." My baby girl will be cheering for Bokuto like crazy. She's his number one fan. I imagined Kazue pointing at Bokuto as she asks what he's doing. Curiosity from a child blooms my heart.
"You're going to bring Kazue?!" Bokuto looked happy by the news. He grinned ear to ear. I'm glad to see him excited. Kazue will be the one to help bring victory to our school, but I hope that doesn't mean my daughter will be the source for the team to win all the time. It'll be tiring for Kazue to go each game. My baby needed her beauty sleep more than I did.
"Yes! I'll see you later tonight!"
Once school ended, I was about to leave and come back later with Kazue, but I was stopped by Akaashi. He looked calm and composed as always. I'm pretty sure he's here to inform me about their game, and the team was expecting me to come.
"Hi there Akaashi." I smiled, anticipating his response I knew so well of.
"Hi, Hayashi. If you have heard—"
I giggled from already knowing his statement. "Yes, I'll be coming to your game! Bokuto personally asked me. It's not your duty to do that anymore. If Bokuto wants me to come, then he'll personally tell me."
The surprised look on Akaashi's face was priceless. His whole face widened as if I read his mind. How could I not know their tactical actions? I've been tricked a few times by them. "I see… I have nothing to worry about." A soft smile appeared on his face. He looked relieved from the future stress that will be placed upon the team.
Before my foot stepped outside the school gates, I felt eyes on me as I boldly stared at their direction. It was a group of girls huddling close together, whispering loudly for me and Akaashi to hear. I don't know who they were or what they wanted, but they irked my soul already.
"Did you hear? She moved all the way here because of her baby daddy." Girl A giggled, covering her lips while her eyes wanted to see me cry.
Indeed I wanted to cry because I didn't expect this to reoccur, but it's not the first time that I've been bullied. This was a wound being reopened. As long as I'm in the high school setting, I will never be free from petty people.
"She must have a thing for captains because she's already hopping on to the volleyball captain! What's next? The basketball team?" Girl B snickered.
My blood was boiling. They were calling me a slut. If they wanted to play that game then I will. I'm going to suck them dry until I get where they heard it from. Only Bokuto knows about me having a child and Oikawa, but I hope he didn't do anything to ruin our mending relationship. If he did, I'm never going to talk to him again.
"Hayashi…" Akaashi mumbled, not knowing what to do as I marched up to the girls.
I couldn't contain my anger. I took action before thinking more about it. What's done is done. I'll face any repercussion. "You talk the talk, but you don't have the nerves to say it into my face?" I tilted my head to the side, smiling at them so they acknowledged me. I'm not a coward to let these girls go. "You have no right to bash me when you're also low too. Spreading rumor is a tacky way to go. If you wanted an answer, just come talk to me. I swear I won't bite." Each of my words were filled with venom. I shouldn't hide my anger because they should know that they should never cross the line with me. No one's going to insult me and my daughter.
The girls' faces twitched as their plan fired back. The tick marks on their foreheads were big and bold just like their shitty personality. They really wanted to push me to the edge and cause me to break down. I can't afford that because I'm tired of this. "And you're proud of that?!" Girl C shouted, clenching her fists as she stared daggers at me.
I scoffed in response, smirking at her. "Are you proud of digging dirt on me? That's a lot of work, isn't it? I'm pretty sure it took you ages since I'm the 'new girl'." I arched one of my brows, waiting for them to fall into my trap.
"Tch! Ages?! No, I have my sources!" Girl A manically laughed. "Everyone in Aoba Johsai knows about you—"
A circuit clicked in my brain. Now everything made sense. She had some sort of intel from the school. I don't know if the person was a fan of Oikawa or not, but they did a lot of research if they cared so much about me. It's funny how I'm still famous even after leaving. "Ah, if you care so much, I'll tell you my secret." I interrupted her, glaring down at the tiny rats. My aura turned fiery and dark. I would prefer not to go through the malicious rumors again, but if it happens then it happens. I survived the dark hole before.
"I've known Oikawa Toru since young. It just happened that we had some puppy love and did stupid shit which resulted in me to getting pregnant. And no, I don't regret having my child." Kazue's face appeared in my mind as her sun-like smile uplifted my tense heart. Only she can cure my bad days. "I'm friends with Bokuto because he's an outgoing person. He's the only person who I know doesn't discriminate against people's past. He's a great friend… If you care to think about his personality rather than looks."
I ended the conversation by walking away. I didn't need to hear their retorts because they lost. They have no leverage over me. I'm no longer scared of anyone. They can hurt me all they want, but as long as I can protect my daughter, that's all I care about. She's my goal in life—giving her a great life as a single mom.
At home, I sat on my bed pondering about what happened earlier. It sank my heart just a bit. This new life of mine was great while it lasted. My eyes casted down to Kazue's sleeping figure. Her small snore lingered in the quiet room as she looked so peaceful and yummy to eat up. Her tiny lips were parted while her chubby cheeks were squished together from laying on her side.
"No matter what happens, it will be okay… I have a few more months to go before I graduate." I half heartedly smiled, unwillingly thinking about the future ahead of me. "No one is going to hurt mommy." Leaning over, I kissed Kazue's cheek, and she subtly moved from my quick action in her sleep.
Since I had time to spare, I didn't want to be in a foul mood when I headed to his game with Kazue. "I'll take a small nap too!" Putting on an alarm, I quickly snuggled myself close to Kazue. My arms wrapped around her tiny body, pulling her closer to me. Her body was so warm and small. I closed my eyes and let sleep take over.
Ring! Ring!
My body jolted up from the sound of my alarm waking me up. I slowly and tiredly pushed myself from the bed, rubbing my eyes from the short nap. A big yawn escaped from my mouth as I stretched my arms up.
Shuffle shuffle
I knew it was my little baby waking up too. "Mmm, Mama?" Kazue groggily said in her soft voice, also stretching with me on the mattress. Looking over my shoulder, I giggled at the messy sight of her. Her bedhead was crazy as it spiked in every direction there was, her cheeks were rosey pink, and her eyes were still closed.
"Hi baby," I plopped beside her, gazing at her tired yet beautiful face. "Let's get ready to see a volleyball game at my school."
"V-volleyball?"
"Yes, it's a game where you hit a ball over a net." A big grin plastered on my face. The upcoming words were going to leave Kazue in an excited mood. Leaning into her baby ear, I whispered the biggest reveal of all time. "Bokuto is going to be there…!"
Kazue gasped loudly, rolling up and off her back as she sat on her knees, staring at me with wide eyes. "Really?!" Her brown eyes were twinkling like stars in the starry sky.
I nodded my head to her, explaining what volleyball was. I knew she didn't understand one word I was saying, but she looked enthralled by the fact it's related to Bokuto.
While we were getting ready, I received a text from Yukie.
To: Hayashi
From: Yukie
I can't wait to see you! Bokuto on the other hand is very antsy yet energetic for your arrival. It's great that your presence is making a big impact on him! I'll see you later! ;)
A big smile drew upon my lips. "Well, I hope to see him take the win today…"
I let Kazue pick out any clothes she wanted to wear, and she chose to wear a pink plain dress. "I want this!" Then I made her wear black leggings underneath it. "Mama, tie my hair!" She gave me some hair ties as I pulled up her silky locks into cute pigtails.
My heart hurts that she's glamming herself up for a man. She's too young for this!
After I threw on some casual clothes, we headed off to my school. Kazue talked a lot as she pointed at trees, cars, and random objects. Inside my chest, I felt anxiety rising. This was the first time I'm ever showing others my child. I prayed that nobody would ask about her. Kazue's too cute for this world. She'll attract attention left and right.
We held hands while Kazue aimlessly jumped around. "Mama, we there?" Kazue asked, staring up at me with her doll-like eyes.
"Yes we are! Just a little more walking then we'll be there." I hoped her little legs weren't tired. We weren't even walking for that long either, but if she starts to complain then I'll carry her.
Kazue and I made it in time for Bokuto's game. "Come on, Kazue! Let's go see Bo!" I hoisted her on my hips, making my way inside the gym.
"Yayyy!" Kazue squealed in delight, grinning brightly as she waited patiently to see Bokuto.
Stepping inside the gym, there were the two teams warming up and a good amount of people here to watch the game. Scanning the room, I suddenly rolled my eyes in disgust when I spotted the girls from earlier. They were gross as heck. If I could, I would smack them after the shit they said to me.
"I see Bo! I see Bo!" Kazue's tiny body wiggled in zest, pointing at Bokuto talking to his teammates. Her baby teeth were showing as her eyes smiled. My daughter was overjoyed to see Bokuto. I think it's been a while since she last saw him.
"Yeah I know. We can say hi later. Bo is busy with other things okay?"
"Okay…" She sadly muttered.
I knew how much she missed Bokuto, but I can't let her run loose. He has a game to focus on. Me and Kazue were his moral support, yet I didn't want him to be easily distracted either.
"Hayashi…!" I heard my name being called, causing me to whip my head around to the voice owner. From a distance, it was Yukie and Kaori waving at me. They looked pleased to see me again.
Waving back, I smiled at them then headed up on the balcony to watch the game.
Me and Kazue stood at the center part of the balcony so we could see both sides. "The game is about to start!" I told Kazue and her expression lit up from the great news. This battle between both schools will be remembered in Kazue's memories. She's going to talk about it nonstop.
As the game began, Kazue was memorized by the sight of the volleyball being hit by the wing spikers. Whenever Bokuto spiked the ball, Kazue would quickly grab my attention and tell me to watch. But rather than watching the game itself, I observed Kazue's face. It's so cute when her eyebrows would lift up and her mouth would form an 'O' when Bokuto, the ace, would show the audience who's the best ace in the world.
In the end of the first set, Fukurodani cheered when they won. All of them jumped, rallying each other up for the next round which may or may not be their last. From afar, Bokuto pumped his fists up as he felt the adrenaline rush in his body.
"Woooooow!" Kazue said in amazement, mimicking Bokuto's fist pumping.
For a split second, I thought about Oikawa. What if Kazue was cheering for her actual dad? How would life be different if her dad wanted to stay and be a part of her life earlier? How special was Bokuto to Kazue? If Kazue could articulate her words better, then maybe I would get a real answer from her but as of right now I won't be able to.
The second set began, and it was Bokuto's turn to serve. I watched him as he fiddled with the ball around. "Mommy, look at Bo!" My daughter eagerly pointed, patting my shoulder so I could stare at his direction.
"I am looking at him, Kazue." I chuckled at her ecstatic behavior. She's hardly this excited unless it's Bokuto.
Glancing at Bokuto, it's like he had spidey senses that he knew where me and Kazue were located and smiled happily. He casted a toothy grin while we made eye contact. His golden orbs locked with mine, and I felt my heart skip a beat from the passion in his eyes. There was an indescribable fire in his posture and eyes that only his volleyball team could understand as they smiled to each other. Perhaps it may be my presence and Kazue's that was causing the momentum to be greater.
Quickly taking a look at Kazue, I made sure Bokuto knew that my daughter was cheering for him. "Make sure Bo hears you when you cheer for him!"
"GO BO! GO!" Kazue screamed at the top of her lungs, throwing her arms in the air. I switched between Kazue and Bokuto; I wanted to see his facial expression when she rallied him. Instantly when I gave Bokuto one last look, his face subtly softened as he stared at our direction. His heart must have melted from hearing Kazue's encouragement. I know my heart would.
The whistle went off and Bokuto's jump serve made it through.
After the game had ended by 2:0, people disbursed and headed home. I dropped Kazue to the ground, holding her hand as we walked down the balcony. "Be careful! Hold on to the railing." Kazue's tiny hand held the rounded railing, mindfully stepping down each step. "Once we're down we can congratulate Bo for winning, okay?"
"Yeah!" She grinned ear to ear. Kazue resembled a happy chipmunk from her cheeks balling up and her eyes slightly closed.
Thump!
Kazue jumped off the last steps of the stairs. "Let go see Bo!" She excitedly squealed, doing her little toddler dance to express her feelings. Watching her happy dance squeezed my heart as I clutched my chest. Her pureness was too cute. Bokuto would also die on the spot if he saw her dance too.
"Kazue, you're way too thrilled!" My upbeat nature and content expression drastically turned to mundane. My facial muscles relaxed by the sight of the girls from earlier crowding around Bokuto as if he was a hot topic, which he was but it never happened before when I'm there. Additionally, my mind gave me flashbacks of countless times where Oikawa would be engulfed by his fangirls after each home game. The fangirls knew that he was taken, but they didn't care because Oikawa couldn't control them no matter how much he pleaded to them to stop. Even if Oikawa had told me that the fangirls didn't mean anything to him, his face said otherwise because he looked so pleased. He gave his fangirls endless smiles and compliments. What a big hole he created in my heart.
Because I saw the parallels between Oikawa and Bokuto at the moment, I didn't have the courage to walk up to Bokuto with his fangirls swarming him, so I picked Kazue up and was about to leave. My mind and heart felt conflicted and was hurting. Just when I turned my back to him, I caught a glimpse of Bokuto's face changing to a confused yet dejected look, and the girls from earlier were sneering at me, thinking that they won this fight. I really did want to congratulate him, but I can do it through text since he's busy with the girls. I just don't want to live in that moment again.
"Kazue, maybe next time okay?" My lips thinned, staring gently at Kazue. She looked very lost since I promised her that we could see Bokuto after the game, but she's too young to understand anything. "Bo is busy cleaning up…" Kazue's lips pouted, almost trembling from hearing my words and her eyes were also on the brink of raining tears. "I'm sorry, Kazue. Anyways it's time for you to sleep." I hugged her tightly in my arms as we walked out.
"But mama…!" Kazue whined quietly in my ear, protesting to get her way, and I halted in my footsteps.
"Kazue," I sternly said so she knew that things don't always go as planned. "Not today." Her body limped in my arms as she understood her position. "I'm sorry baby. Bo is just busy. Next time you can see him and he'll play with you." I kissed her chubby cheek before heading out.
However, eyes from Bokuto and the girls were on me, and from the side, Akaashi was shocked to see me leave without talking to Bokuto. Maybe if I never met the girls then I would have been fine but that wasn't the case. My past with Oikawa was now affecting the way I see things. This has nothing to do with Bokuto but with me. I'm the one who has problems… It's not an easy path to forget when it's brought up.
"I'm sorry, Bokuto."