Chapter 13

It was the day of the clash between light and darkness. Larxene was practicing in the Keyblade Graveyard, one more time before she had to face Sora. There was no way that loser was going to beat her again.

Also, she had been spending time alone with her thoughts. Ever since Marluxia had told her to get her feelings about Demyx under control, she felt like she was even more consumed with hatred for the sitar player. At least, that's what she thought at first.

Demyx, as stupid as he was, had suggested that maybe it wasn't hatred she was feeling. Really, she should have given his recent habit of disappearing and plotting away to Xehanort by now, so he couldn't ruin the Organization's plans. But she just couldn't bring herself to do it. And that was when she was sure.

All along, she had been trying her best to convince herself that she had joined the real Organization XIII for Marluxia. She didn't care about being a vessel for Xehanort, so it made sense, right? And that was who Xigbar brought up in their conversation when she decided to join.

But she was lying to herself. She'd been staring at Demyx the whole time, somehow wanting to be around him. She just couldn't stop thinking about his stupid grin, or how it felt when he had picked her up in his arms that one time, how it felt waking up next to him in the cave, or how it felt when he took the time to heal her, something nobody else in the Organization would ever bother to do. She also couldn't deny the worry she felt of the possibility of someone catching his betrayal and destroying him. Her rage towards him wasn't really about him, but at herself. She was angry at herself for feeling again. And she was scared. Terrified, even, that she would be hurt by Demyx. It was just easier to insult him.

That was why she was going to fight Sora and the other lights today, since she refused to face her emotions. She would fight next to Marluxia, and win. She didn't want to become a vessel, but it was her only choice. She was just along for the ride.

Continuing training, she had summoned a particularly strong flash of lightning when a dark portal appeared. Demyx exited, rubbing the back of his neck. "That's awfully bright for one of the thirteen darknesses."

Larxene rolled her eyes, not wanting to engage in conversation with him, especially now. She couldn't trust herself.

Demyx shrugged and continued. "Look, anyway, I just wanted to say, you don't have to do this."

"Shut up, seat cushion." Larxene took another step away, towards the place where they would fight the seven lights. Why was he even here?

"Wait. I'm serious. You really don't have to go through with this. I mean, you could not show up. They wouldn't notice me. I could help…"

"ENOUGH! That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. How could you help? I don't need help from you or anyone! This is just something I have to do!" She had made up her mind. She was going, no matter what he said. The other option was far scarier.

Demyx had seemingly winced at her words. He slumped down a bit, looking at his feet. Larxene turned back around, finding his defeated demeanor too hard for her to look at. She took another step, then, without turning around, in a softer voice said, "I don't need you to look after me, okay? I can take care of myself."

She was surprised when she felt him take her hand from behind.

"Larx…"

She turned around, seeing the wetness on his cheeks. She gripped his hand harder, as if she never wanted to let go, for a moment unable to even meet his gaze. Finally, she succumbed to her feelings. She threw her arms around the musician, not caring about anything else in the world. Her heart practically burst out of her chest when he embraced her back. She felt one tear release from her eyes. No, she couldn't do this. She couldn't risk it, or do this to herself.

She looked up into Demyx's yellow eyes, seeing a happiness in them that replicated her own feelings inside. She noticed his eyes flick down to her lips, and she quickly stood on her tiptoes and gave him the briefest kiss, noticing his whole face turned red afterwards.

"I have to do this," she repeated to him, clenching her jaw and pushing him away. She wouldn't let him stop her. She wouldn't be hurt by him. She would rather be a vessel for Xehanort than experience more pain. She needed to use her head, not her heart. She opened a dark portal, ignoring Demyx's last protests, and disappeared.

After her battle, as soon as Sora defeated her, her mind immediately jumped to Demyx. The pain raged within her when Sora simply said, "You're going to be recompleted."

"I didn't ask you for your garbage opinion," she said, grabbing herself, trying her best to not fade away again. She couldn't face it. She couldn't face Demyx again, not after giving away how she felt.

"I lost! To a bunch of losers like you," she put forth, not wanting to appear weak, but then changed her sentiment the more she thought, "But could be worse. Become that geezer's heart tank? No thanks."

Sora, frustratingly kind, asked, "Then, why help him?"

She turned her head. No way was she going to tell him her deepest, darkest secret. "I was really just along for the ride," she said enigmatically.

"With…?"

Right before she felt herself disappearing into the abyss again, she put a finger to her lips.

"My secret."

Sora would never know the name etched across her heart.