JASON

Compared to sailing around the horn to bring a hundred brides to Seattle from New England, the days to San Francisco flew by for Jason. The wind cooperated for the most part, and although Clancey blustered about, Jason kept to himself during the trip. He often leaned against the starboard side of the ship to stare into the open sea, not feeling the breeze ruffle his hair.

There were questions that haunted him, like why his wife wouldn't accompany him for a honeymoon. The women he knew would have jumped at the chance to take a trip to Tacoma, let alone San Francisco. Most had never had the chance to leave Seattle once they had arrived. True, technically this was a business trip, but he couldn't understand how she could deny herself the chance to see old friends.

When those thoughts weren't plaguing him, Laurie's mysterious admirer was there to fill the void. He'd proven a slippery fellow and the unpleasant business with the dog? He could only pray he'd done the right thing by trusting her instincts. Jason still didn't like the frightening implications. He tried to console himself knowing that Laurie's money would keep them from financial ruin for some time, and if they were smart, ever again. That would take the edge off everyone, especially his youngest brother. Jeremy wouldn't need to wait anymore to make Candy a permanent sister, even though it was a sure bet they'd miss their previous date. It was kind of Jeremy to think of their mother's birthday as a wedding date, but surely he would agree it was more important to move forward with his marriage to Candy instead of waiting yet another year.

When day gave way to night Jason would stare up at the creaky boards above his makeshift bed and shudder with excitement over how Laurie looked in that very expensive, very worth it gown. He often closed his eyes and relished the memory of the soft shadows under the silky material; the creamy smoothness of her skin against his fingers; the taste of berry wine on her lips. Her soft, sweet moans still filled his ears and he could clearly conjure the sultry look her eyes made when he touched her in a way that pleased her. No matter what, this trip wouldn't be over fast enough.

The Shamus O' Flynn docked on a sunny morning, and bidding Clancey farewell, Jason made a quick trip to a familiar hotel. He thought it was ridiculous he had to put on airs, but Laurie had warned him that her childhood friend wouldn't receive just anyone at the door. He followed her instructions and hired a woman to iron his clothes while he took a bath and shaved. After he put his suit on, he inspected himself in the small hotel mirror. His hair would always be unruly, a testament to some of his more questionable qualities. It would have to do. He checked his pockets to be sure his wife's correspondence was secure and hired a driver to take him to the finer part of San Francisco.

The ride took him where the streets were clean, the buggies polished, and ladies' hairstyles looked similar to how Laurie had worn hers when they first met. His driver dropped him off in front of a quaint townhome nestled neatly between two larger buildings. Smaller though it was, there wasn't anything less austere about it. Whitewashed pillars outlined the clean red-brick architecture, with matching whitewashed shutters framing the windows. A well-tended rose garden decorated the trim, the air thick with their perfume as he approached the front steps.

The porch had various seating arrangements strategically placed, including a swing where Jason could envision Laurie sitting while humming to herself. It wouldn't be that hard to make a similar addition to our home. Holding that thought, he took the steps two at a time and touched it for a moment, indulging in a brief daydream of the woman Laurie had once been. He rolled his shoulders back and knocked loudly on the door.

There was a slight yelp and a flutter of movement before the door opened to reveal a girl that looked about ten with her dark hair smoothed back in a pink ribbon.

"Um, hello," Jason said, giving her a little bow. "I'm here to see Miss Kenna Cowan on the behalf of my wife, Laurel Bolt. Uh, formally McConnell. Well, Campbell, but..."

Inwardly, he winced. Why he should have a hard time saying her previous married name, he couldn't fathom, but the girl receded back into the house and shut the door with a 'click.' Jason waited for a few moments and knocked again. This time, the only sound on the other side of the door was another yelp from the invisible dog. He turned to walk away and paused at the porch steps.

Might as well wait. I've got nothing else to do. He sat on the swing, lazily using his long legs to propel himself backward and forward. Jason leaned his head back and enjoyed the warm breeze that tickled his nose. He closed his eyes and dozed.

When Jason awoke, he wasn't quite sure if it was the shaking of his person that made him suddenly alert, or the wet tongue licking his nose. He started, accidentally knocking a brown ball of fluff to the ground that continued to pant and yap at him while he wiped his face. With wide eyes and his mouth set in a hard line, Jason observed the woman who had shaken him so violently.

"We ain't got no use for vagabonds around here, mister. Miss Kenna won't like it, she won't like it one bit."

The woman's voice drawled, an indication that she was newly displaced because of the war, much like many of the people he knew in recent years that had relocated in the west. Her dark complexion was leathery from overexposure to the sun, dark splotches sprinkling her face with deep creases set around her mouth and eyes. She wrinkled her nose at him as she looked at his clothes. He glanced down at his suit, newly pressed by the maid at the hotel, slightly rumpled by the furry paws that had climbed Mount Jason. Considering, he thought he looked presentable.

"Well, that's good, because I'm not a vagabond. I came here to see Miss Cowan. Well, actually..."

"Miss Kenna ain't taking no vis-tas, just now."

It took Jason's brain a few beats to translate vis-tas into visitors. "I'm not—Oh." He lifted himself off the swing and drew himself up to full height. "Well, I'm not here to call on Miss Cowan, actually. I'm Jason Bolt, Laurie's husband. I'm here on her behalf to deliver some letters to Miss Cowan and a young Jenny, but mostly to see Miss Doreen White."

"Miss Laurie?!" the woman exclaimed. Her hand flew to her mouth as if someone had hit her. "Oh, my Lawd! Miss Laurie, is she okay? Mr. Richard, he don't give her no warning, and Miss Kenna was fit to be—did you say you and Miss Laurie is married?"

Jason's lips twitched at the sudden recognition of his status, but he kept his expression carefully neutral. He put his hands on his hips and bent to where he was almost at eye level with her. "I did," he said. "I married her in March. She sent a wire."

"March! Oh poor Miss Laurie, was you arranged? Lawd know'd she wouldn't marry no man if she didn't have to, that's what she said when she left! She don't want no husband, not never again. She couldn't... not after what Mr. Sherman done."

Jason blinked, his forehead knitted in concentration as he worked to decipher the thickness of her drawl that reminded him of Ben Perkins when he had one too many beers. He shook his head as if to clear his mind from it and attempted another way of getting what he wanted. "Ah, yes, well, you could say it was sort of arranged. But it's important for me to meet Miss White. My wife needs me to collect something for her."

"Lawd, have mercy!" she said, flapping her apron at him and smiling. "Why, you know you is talking to Miss White!"

Jason's felt his smile spread into a grin. He had hoped the dark-skinned princess in front of him was Laurie's friend, and it was a boon to be right. "A great pleasure to meet you, Miss White."

Doreen nodded a small curtsy; her lips pressed together as though she wasn't used to the formalities being placed on her. "Doreen. What can I do for you, sir?"

"Well, it's a delicate matter. Would it be possible to discuss this inside?"

Doreen peered around the neighborhood. "How I know you is telling the truth? I done told you Miss Laurie said she ain't never going to marry another man, and I know she means a thing when she says it."

"Yes, she meant it, and with good reason. But we are married and... Look, she sent a wire to let you know I was coming. Didn't you get it?"

Doreen looked a little puzzled. With a quick intake of breath, she looked over her shoulder at a small shadow hovering near a doorway in the hall. "Miss Jenny! You got somethin' 'o mine?" The shadow disappeared, and Doreen shook her head, inviting Jason inside with a quick gesture. "That child," she muttered.

Jason glanced at the empty doorway with a frown. His hand brushed his coat pocket and his countenance brightened as he pulled out the small package his wife had put together. He handed it to Doreen, saying, "Laurie said to give this to you or Miss Cowan. Maybe it will convince you that we are married. If it doesn't, I have our marriage certificate back in my room. I didn't think to bring it." He didn't mention Laurie had insisted he bring it with him to San Francisco. He shook his head slightly. His wife knew her friends well.

Doreen inspected the package in her hands with care and handed it back to Jason without opening it. "Whatever Miss Laurie put in there, it's between her and Miss Kenna now, and I ain't got no cause to get in the middle. You follow me in here and give it to her when she come home. Miss Jenny and I was about to have our teatime in the parlor. I got some coffee and cookies in there, and you can tell me all about our Miss Laurie." She glanced down the hallway and said loudly, "And if'n some child think she can behave, she can come have herself a little milk and cookies too."

They entered a small parlor, and Jason again saw the flutter of a large curtain, Jenny's eyes peeping out to watch him with interest. He waved at the young girl, but she used the heavy fabric to hide behind with a little squeak. Jason shook his head to himself with a smile and took the chair offered to him by his escort. True to Doreen's word, there was a silver service with ornate silver cups on a small table covered by a linen coverlet, a green tassel trim hanging to the ground on all four sides. Doreen poured the coffee and handed him a cupful with a saucer and spoon. His fingers too large for the cup's dainty handle, he wrapped his fingers around the base and held it out to let her pour a little cream into the coffee. He stirred it before sipping and smiled his approval. She beamed.

"That's how Miss Laurie always takes hers too."

"Yes, I know. And she's very fond of baking when she's upset."

Doreen gave him an enormous smile. "Yes, sir, that be the blessed truth. Miss Laurie bakes, and bakes, and bakes up a storm when we moved here. She sure miss that during the war." She glanced at the form hidden in the folds of the drapery. "Never mind her, she just loves hearing anything about Miss Laurie. They was mighty attached." With a nod toward Jenny, she added, "I didn't get no wire, but I ain't all that surprised."

Jason gave the older woman's appearance a quick appraisal. She had slicked her dark hair back into a neat bun, strands of silver highlighting her age with dignity. She wore a simple grey and white striped dress with a high collar, pinned at the neck with a small cameo. There was an apron around her waist, but it didn't give her the feeling of a servant, Jason realized with a start. More like a second mother to the little girl hiding in the curtains. Something about that child...

"Well," he said, putting down the cup. He cleared his throat and took the letters out of his inner coat pocket and handed one to Doreen. "I'm here on a two-fold mission. One was to deliver these letters to you, Miss Cowan, and," he gestured to the form that stood perfectly still, "Miss Jenny. My wife seemed to enjoy writing to all of you."

Doreen's eyes had become coal-black as she listened. "I suppose so," she answered carefully, caressing the letter with her fingertips.

"The other is... well, it's just a little housekeeping. Laurie said she left you with a substantial sum, and I'm here to collect it on her behalf."

"Took you long enough," she said, smoothing down her apron. The gesture reminded him of Laurie.

"I beg your pardon?"

"To come for the money."

"Oh. Well, she only just told me about it. We were..." Jason hesitated, looking for the right word. "Unsure of ourselves, at first. But now..."

"Now?" she repeated, her eyebrows coming up.

"Now we're, well, we're not. Unsure."

"You mean to come here and tell me Miss Laurie is happy being married again? Pfft!" She fanned her hand in front of her face. "Glory be, mister, you gots to do better than that! Anybody of a mind to could write letters like Miss Laurie. She be a lady with schooling, and there sure a lot of them folks about. Miss Laurie give me that money to protect, and I ain't about to give it to just nobody."

Jason sucked in a breath. Where was that wire? And what had Laurie shared with him that this woman would know? Jason thought for a moment and realized his wife hadn't told him much about her life in Louisiana. Her dreams had told him more than she had volunteered.

"All right, I'll try to prove to you what I say is true, but uh, my wife doesn't talk about her time in the South much. It's very painful for her."

Doreen nodded for him to go on.

"She and her previous husband didn't get along. He hurt her, in a lot of different ways. And uh, well, at night she has dreams about him. Nightmares. Ah, particularly about him and someone named Grace."

The older woman's hand came to her mouth with a sharp cry. The sound brought Jason to his feet.

"Miss White?!"

"Oh dear Lawd, have mercy on her soul. Miss Laurie ain't got no cause to feel no guilt. It was Mr. Sherman's fault, not hers. She always was a good woman. You've seen she's a good woman?"

"Of course, but—"

"And she always did blame herself. Oh, that poor, poor woman." Jason handed her his handkerchief, and she dabbed at the sides of her eyes. "Oh Lawd, please help our Miss Laurie forget."

"It doesn't happen all the time," Jason told her, finding his seat again. "Not like it used to. She... well, she's happier now, and she... Oh, she's a wonderful, good woman. Very religious and all." He knew he sounded like an idiot, but his babbling seemed to comfort the older woman. "Why for my birthday she sang a beautiful song, and it was like listening to an angel."

Doreen broke out in a smile. "She could sing a sermon that had the most sinful of sinners a smiling."

Jason grinned and nodded. "Yes, I know."

"And I see you is a good man, too. Maybe you ain't lying. Maybe Miss Laurie has found herself a little happiness on the good Lawd's earth."

"I'd like to think so," said Jason softly. "I try. And things are better than ever. She makes me happy, and when I left, I don't think she wanted me to leave."

"Then that all that matters."

"Tell me about her life in Louisiana," he said cautiously, glancing at the rich gold, wallpapered walls before he picked up his coffee and took another sip before looking her in the eye. "It wasn't a good marriage. Why?"

"No, sir. Mr. Sherman was a proud man, and Miss Laurie? She always has a mind of her own. It was a poor match, everybody know'd it from the start."

"But did she ever know happiness? Sometimes I mean? When he was away?"

"Yes, sir. Mr. Sherman sometimes left to stay overnight at his friends' homes, and he leave her behind. He do terrible things there, but Miss Laurie, she try not to think about it too much. She always be working hard to do her duty. She a proper, Christian woman."

The last was said with a great deal of pride, and Jason couldn't help but nod.

"She run the house and be taking care of the slaves on Mr. Sherman's property, but he don't let her visit no slave homes. Not never. And until he went to war, Mr. Sherman wouldn't allow her to go to church, neither. He told his friends it mess with her mind, so's he made her not be Catholic anymore. That near broke her heart."

"Well, she is now," he said, his mind furiously sorting through all the memories of conversations with Laurie he could think of. "But she's considering Presbyterianism."

"Because that's your religion, I imagine."

Jason nearly dropped his cup. He shifted in his chair and saw a woman standing in the doorway, her voice dripping with contempt.

"How very Laurel of her. Still, I suppose she'll be better suited to a Protestant religion. It's much more... relaxed."

She reminded Jason of the first time he saw Laurie in the chapel at their wedding. Her gown was a deep purple that seemed to turn into a blue plum color in the shadows. There was an intricate embroidery pattern along the bodice that ornamented the fabric with delicacy. The cut of the dress accentuated the woman's small waist, the bustle in the back giving her enough padding to give a man thoughts. However, unlike Laurie's preference for lower necklines, this woman's collar was high like Doreen's, framed with the same lace as the cuffs on her wrists.

Jason might have considered her a handsome woman, but she had set her light brown hair in a severe low bun, and her brown-eyed, hostile stare did nothing to stir him as Laurie did. He set the coffee down and stood to give her a polite nod, saying, "Jason Bolt."

"Miss Cowan," she said with just a hint of a Scottish brogue. "Doreen, did you give the man something to eat?"

"Oh no, no, thank you," said Jason, shaking his head and gesturing to the cup of coffee partially consumed on the small table. "I'm all right. I really came to talk."

"About Laurie?" Kenna asked. "I don't discuss her affairs. You'll probably get more out of Doreen."

"Oh!" said Doreen, her fingers flying to her mouth again. "Miss Kenna! But him being Miss Laurie's husband and all..."

"Yes," Kenna said, her chin lifting as she walked further into the room. "So you're the one Richard married her off to."

Jason's eyes narrowed as he tried to work out the implications. Kenna knew about the marriage, about their forced marriage, but Doreen didn't? He extracted the package from his pocket. With a smile, he said, "From my wife," and offered it to Kenna. She didn't move to take it.

"For the love of—" he muttered, pulling at the string to unwrap it for her. What is with these women refusing presents? The string fell off the package, and he unwrapped the brown paper to reveal a large brooch, with several amethysts creating jeweled thistles on a round pewter setting. A single thistle made of pewter draped the middle, crowned by the largest amethyst of all. Jason looked up at Kenna's gaping expression.

"She said you'd recognize it," he said gently, offering it to her again.

Kenna accepted it with her long, slender fingers and her eyes misting over. She walked to the window and pushed back the lacy curtain to look into a garden. The ornate, wooden clock on the mantle of the cold fireplace ticked off the hour.

"How?" she finally asked.

"How what?" asked Jason.

"How did he get her to agree to the marriage? I never understood how Richard could convince her to do it."

"Well," said Jason, "As Shakespeare said, it was a comedy of errors. But, how did you know?"

Kenna let out a little laugh that was a little too high-strung. Doreen gave Jason a nervous smile and ducked out of the room. "Richard wired me a few months ago. I didn't think he'd really take her back to Scotland, but a marriage?" She paused, a little crease forming in the middle of her forehead. "And you're here to annul? No, that can't be right," she said, looking him over in a way that almost made him blush. "Divorce?"

"Neither," he stated, folding his arms in front. "My wife sent me to collect her things for her."

"She didn't want to come herself?"

Jason felt on edge. There was a kindness and warmth that immediately attracted him when he talked with Doreen, but with Kenna, there was darkness seething under the surface of her innocent words. He supposed it could be a misunderstanding between her and his wife. Women were known to hold grudges just as much, if not more, than men. "Oh, well. She's... busy."

"Busy? Doing what? I'm sorry, I remember she's in Washington Territory, but I thought Richard said it was a small community."

"Seattle is a small community," he conceded. "But it's growing. And she's been—" he paused, thinking of the few changes Laurie had helped to make, like the changes to the sewage problem, even if it wasn't a permanent solution. And helping a family of orphans. He thought it unlikely that that would seem much to Miss Cowan, but to Brodie, he knew it meant the difference between a life of crime and growing to be a man. What was the worth of a man's soul?

He cleared his throat. "She's been an angel from heaven."

"Arranging parties and shows, no doubt."

There it was again, the obvious contempt in Kenna's voice. Jason rubbed his forehead. "I don't understand. She's always spoken highly of you," he said cautiously. "She said you were a childhood friend."

"Oh, I was. But she nearly destroyed the opera house I risked my career to get her into. And the accusations..."

"Accusations?"

But Kenna wasn't listening to him. She was staring long and hard into the jeweled brooch he had given her. Suddenly she plopped it back into his hands. "Tell Doreen I said whatever Laurie wants, give it to her. I don't care anymore. I have what matters."

Jason slowly stood, looking at her lifted chin and upturned nose. He cradled the brooch in his hand, knowing his wife had wrapped it with extra care. His brothers had shown up just when she had started to tell him about it, so he still didn't know the significance, but he understood the slight being shown his wife was no small one.

He narrowed his eyes but kept his voice even. "How very kind of you. I'm staying at the Imperial Hotel on Powell Street, Room 21. I'll wait to hear from her there." Kenna gave him a curt nod and with another glance at the brooch, moved to leave. Jason grabbed her by the arm and held her close. "I don't know what's going on, but if I don't hear from the lady in two days, I'm going to assume it was you that didn't give her Laurie's wire, and I'll be back. And next time I won't be so polite."

He let go, and she rubbed her arm for a few seconds, sizing him up, and without another word slipped into the hall, her skirts rustling. Jason looked around at the frilly room and suddenly found it a very stuffy place to be. He placed Kenna's unopened letter on the table and began to see himself out when he found himself face to face with the girl he assumed was Jenny, the same girl that had shut the door on him earlier.

"Well, it looks like I've outstayed my welcome," he said and pulled out the last envelope he had from his wife from his suit pocket. "I believe this is for you."

"Thank you," she whispered, taking it from him. She had raven-dark hair and large, brown doe eyes. There was something about her profile that rang a memory in Jason's mind. No doubt about it, she reminded him of someone. He just couldn't put his finger on who. He smiled and straightened to leave.

"You're very welcome."

"I didn't take Miss Doreen's letter." Jenny's voice was soft and breathy.

"Oh, I didn't think you did," Jason said, not bothering to explain the difference between wires and letters.

"Is my mama okay?" she whispered.

He frowned. He couldn't remember who Laurie said the child's mother was. In fact, he couldn't remember the story at all, except that she and Doreen had come to San Francisco with Laurie. An idea grappled his heart, and he searched her face. No. There was no trace of his wife there. It wasn't her resemblance he was thinking of.

"Who is your mother, Jenny?" he asked softly.

She shifted in her white lace dress with a wide pink bow tied at the waist. To Jason, Jenny looked almost like a porcelain doll from the stores. Her eyes flitted to the stairs, and she dropped her voice even lower.

"Mama Laurie. Is she okay?"

Jason felt his mouth go dry. So, he was right after all.

"Yes," he whispered, wishing he hadn't honored his wife's privacy. It might have been helpful to have read the letters she had sent. "She's happy. Are you happy?"

"We have lots of good food," she said shyly. "And Uncle Richard got me a puppy."

Jason remembered the ball of fur that had nearly licked him to death earlier. It couldn't have been more than three months old, four at the most. "Uncle Richard?" he asked cautiously. "Has he been here?"

"Jenny!" Kenna called from upstairs. "I don't hear that piano!"

"I have to go," said Jenny, turning back to the hall.

Jason pressed her one more time. "When did he give you the puppy, Jenny? Have you seen him?"

"Yes. Last week before he left. He's going to marry Mama Kenna."

She scooted herself down the hallway and back into the room he had originally seen her shadow from, the strains of musical notes pouring through the air shortly after. Jason's lip grew tight. Richard sent Kenna a wire telling her about Laurie's wedding? Not likely. Why would she lie about that? Something about the whole visit wasn't right.

He let himself out the front door and walked to the gate where he paused for a last look at Laurie's old home. Doreen was watching him from what must have been the kitchen window and waved. He gave a short wave back, stuck his tongue in the side of his cheek, and strode down the street.

He needed a drink.

LAURIE

Laurie swirled her dinner of chicken and dumplings in the large dutch oven on the stove, wondering if Jason might already be in San Francisco. She tapped the spoon on the side of the Dutch oven and set it down before gathering her apron to open the oven door.

No use fretting, she thought to herself, pulling out a pan of rolls that were the perfect shade of golden brown. Jason would talk to Kenna, and she would tell him all about her sordid past, and how they had hardly parted friends.

And is that so bad? She set the pan down hard on the table. He's my husband. Nothing would change that now, not even Richard when he visited, and didn't Jason have a right to know? She rolled her eyes at herself and began setting the table. She should have told him. It would have been better coming from her.

But she hadn't wanted to talk about all that! All she wanted was to practice enjoying him when he was near. He was changing how she saw life, and that both thrilled and frightened her. She still wanted to be herself, even if she belonged to him. Was that right?

The nuns said no, her heart said yes.

She heard voices followed by the scraping noises of boots on the porch. Jeremy and Joshua had arrived at the cabin which meant her unnecessary guard, Swede, had gone home. She quickly finished placing the silverware around the table before the door opened.

"Smells good," said Joshua. "Too bad Jason isn't here to enjoy it."

"Thank you." She gestured to the washing area. Joshua and Jeremy exchanged glances before carrying out her wordless suggestion. She hurried back to the kitchen to retrieve the coffeepot.

"I don't suppose Candy and Biddie are done with choir practice yet," Joshua said to Jeremy as she reentered the room. He poured water into the washbasin and grabbed a cake of soap to begin scrubbing his fingernails.

"No," Jeremy agreed beside him. "They'll be busy for a while."

Joshua chuckled and shook his head. "Laurie, don't let them talk you into joining. Jason would rather have you home."

"Well, that's not fair," said Jeremy. He dabbed his hands dry, and after handing the towel to Joshua, walked over to take his cup from her, the steam from the coffee visible. "Would you like to sing in the choir?"

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "I enjoy taking care of your brother. And when we have children..."

Both the brothers grinned at her.

"Well, I guess that's the reason we don't see Emily Perkins around town as much as we used to," said Joshua, sitting down at the table next to his brother.

"Miss Essie isn't around much either," added Jeremy. "She keeps saying the town council needs to hurry and hire a new s-schoolteacher."

Laurie fetched the stew and sat down with them, bowing her head. She peeked through her eyelashes and saw the exasperated look exchanged between them, but they did the same before Joshua offered a brief prayer. "Lord, we thank thee for thy bounteous gifts. Bless Jason as he travels, Amen."

Laurie and Jeremy both uttered an amen, and Laurie passed the stew to Jeremy.

"Bet it tastes as good as it smells," Jeremy told her.

She smiled her thanks to him but didn't continue to follow the conversation. Joshua and Jeremy switched the subject to trees, flumes, and other logging camp business. It held as little interest to her now as it did when she lived with them up at camp. She just couldn't keep her attention on it unless Jason was talking.

It was easy to pay attention when Jason talked about the company. She found herself captivated when he talked about how the flume worked, or when he talked with pride of the years of blood, sweat, and tears he had spent building up his father's dream. How adventurous he made it all sound, compared to the reality of it all. She missed Jason's ability to make chopping down a tree sound exciting.

Or perhaps it was Jason himself she was really interested in, making the dullest of topics come alive with passion. The sides of her mouth curved up, and she tapped her spoon against her cup after stirring her coffee. Who would have thought a stranger would fascinate her within just a few short months?

"Penny for your thoughts," she heard Joshua say.

She looked up to see both the brothers staring at her. She pressed her lips together and sat back in her chair. "Um... what was that?" she asked.

"I said, 'penny for your thoughts,'" Joshua repeated. "You've barely picked at your dinner."

"And you've stirred that coffee at least three times," Jeremy told her.

"Oh," she said, putting her spoon down. "I didn't realize."

"When Candy looks like that, she's usually thinking about New Bedford," Jeremy said. "Were you wishing you'd gone back with Jason to San Francisco?"

Laurie blanched. Not likely.

"Actually, I was thinking of Jason," she said once she thought of a proper answer. "I know he hasn't been gone long, but I was thinking of how much I miss his stories."

"Well, he doesn't go to San Francisco very often," Joshua told her. He began to ladle more supper into his bowl. "You won't have the chance to miss him much."

"Oh? I thought he said he went several times a year."

"We take turns," Joshua explained, taking another roll. "It was Jeremy's turn, but since you had the money waiting for him," he said, pausing to swallow a sip of coffee. "He took the trip. I suppose Jeremy and I will take most of those trips after this so you can be watched after, your connections excepted, of course."

"Josh," Jeremy said, his voice lowering to a warning. Laurie's hand had paused midair, the stew in the spoon quivering.

"What did you say?" she asked.

"Oh, I don't mean... well, you are connected, aren't you? I mean, you don't come up with that kind of money just singing."

"Josh!"

"What?" he snapped back at Jeremy. "We're family. I'm not going to dance around..."

"Jason said, uh, Jason said to be careful."

"Careful? Careful about what?" Laurie asked Jeremy.

They both looked away from her, neither answering the question. Laurie tapped her fingers against her lips which seemed to be thinning with each passing moment. " I understand Jason said to watch after me, but if you don't mind, I'd like to know exactly what his instructions were. My brother is going to be here who knows how soon, and the last thing I want is to be unsure where I stand with the two of you."

"He said to be careful at night," said Jeremy to the floor. "Not that we don't remember."

"Remember what?"

"Nightmares, screams... and sometimes you sleepwalk," said Joshua. "You used to do it a lot at our cabin. Jason said you still have bad nights, so, so we have to be careful not to start anything. So you don't have an episode. He didn't want your brother to come and insist on putting you away again."

"Put me away?"

"Sure," he said with a feigned shrug. "You know. In the asylum."

Laurie's breath drew short. So short, she couldn't breathe. Jason told them. It was our secret, and he told them.

Laurie focused on the two faces staring at her and felt an invisible hand close around her neck. Without a word she rushed into the bedroom and slammed the door. Instead of lighting a lamp, she sat at the edge of the bed in the dark, trying to catch her breath. With a start, she noticed the door hadn't shut completely. There was a large enough crack in the doorway that she could still hear her brothers-in-law talk. She fell backward onto the bed, listening.

"What do you suppose that was for?" Joshua was asking.

"Well Josh, I'd say it was your sparkling personality that put her in such good spirits. Jason tried to warn you."

"Warn me of what? That she belongs in a loony bin?"

"Josh! You've got to quit saying stuff like that!" Jeremy said, putting force behind his words.

"Oh, come on, Jeremy. Why do I have to tiptoe over every word I say, huh? Her brother was taking her to Olympia to put her in that asylum over there."

"Jason said not to talk about that!"

"I know what Jason said, Jeremy! I also know that a man doesn't do something like that without a good reason. Jason shouldn't have left her."

Their voices were rising, and Laurie winced as she imagined their tempers heightening as well.

"How can you say that? This is the same brother that wanted to have Jason hanged for something he didn't do! Jason has to prove he's providing. It's not his fault we're struggling to make our deadlines."

"Fine," Joshua's voice continued, his voice taking on a sulky edge. Laurie closed her eyes and squeezed. "But you know, I know, and Jason sure knows she's not stable. I wish he had fallen in love with someone else. Anyone—then he wouldn't be married to a woman who may someday get him, or his child, killed."

"What do you mean?" Jeremy asked.

Laurie clutched her belly. She already knew the answer. She had thought about it thousands of times, but no one had ever said it out loud.

"Think about it, Jeremy," Joshua continued. "She has Jason's baby and everyone seems to be okay, but one day she loses her mind. No warning. Who's taking care of that baby while she's out of it? Jason's going to spend the rest of his life looking over his shoulder, unsure. How can you love a woman that keeps you on edge like that all the time?"

"Jason does," she heard Jeremy say, not without a good helping of stubbornness. "You see him with her now. He loves her."

"Maybe. It seems like it. And that's the sad part, isn't it?" Joshua's voice said, beginning to fade. Laurie opened her eyes and wiggled a little closer to the edge of the bed while straining to hear the next part. She heard the door open. "It'll destroy him."

"Which is why both of them need our support while Jason figures things out."

"Okay, fine. But who is going to help Jason? On the outside people think she's doing great. He's not going to let people know she's half-crazy. If she doesn't get it together, this marriage isn't going to make it, and everyone tiptoeing around her like Jason has them doing, us, Aaron, Lottie... even Candy, isn't going to help anything. Come on, I need a drink."

"We can't just leave her," Jeremy said. "Jason said she was in danger."

"Not this time of day. Besides, she doesn't want to see us right now. Or I could bring you a bottle if you want to stay here to talk to her."

"No, no, I ah... I'll go with you. Maybe you both just need a little time to c-cool off. Just give me a minute."

A chair scraped against the floor, and Laurie watched a shadow fall across the door. She had to remind herself to breathe.

"Laurie?" Jeremy called with a knock.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Josh wants a drink. Will you be okay if I get a beer with him?"

"Yes."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay, then. We'll be back." There was a moment of hesitation, followed by the sounds of shuffling feet and the door shutting. Laurie got up and pressed her ear to the door. Hearing nothing, she looked out to see the dishes still on the table. No brothers.

Laurie ventured out of her room and began the normal ministrations of cleaning up after supper, but she kept dropping things. Her hands were shaking, and it was hard to see for the tears. She wiped up the stew she had spilled off the floor and scraped what was leftover in the bowls into the scrap bucket Jason usually donated to a neighbor's pig.

Laurie set the bowls next to the wash bin and pumped fresh water into it. Her hands automatically glided over the dishes and Dutch oven, drying and stacking them neatly as she put them away, after which she swept the place. Finished with her evening chores, she stood in the middle of the room in a stupor, a numbness creeping over her and squeezing her heart.

He told them about the asylum. That was my secret. He told them!

What if he feels the same as Joshua? she thought with a start. What if Joshua wasn't just letting off steam? Laurie clenched the broom handle and bit her lip. What if he was repeating what Jason had confided to him? Jason has a right to those feelings, doesn't he? But he had seemed so happy with her. Since they had moved into their new cabin, things had sweetened between them. Why didn't he say something to her, let her know his concerns? Why did he tell them?

Because you're a fool, Sister Agnes said, laughing at her. A man will always share confidences with other men. You refused to learn the lessons, and now you'll never be a proper wife. Your behavior has marred your family name, a disgrace to your mother's memory.

"NO!" Laurie yelled and blinked, staring at the empty room. She sucked in a ragged breath and put the broom away. She felt dizzy and sick.

It didn't matter that Richard was coming. She couldn't live with someone so openly angry with her. It put her teeth on edge every time Joshua raised his voice, and that probably wasn't fair of her. Joshua was only looking out for Jason because he loved him, and she had wrought havoc on all their lives. Surely someday they would get past it all, but now? No, she couldn't do this. Richard would just have to understand that things were different when her husband was home.

Laurie walked back to her room, grabbed her trunk, and began shoving clothes into it, her toiletries, and a few pieces of jewelry, including the silver brush set, combs, and the necklace Jason gave her when they were first married. She also grabbed a few items that belonged to Jason to keep him close, including his aftershave. It might be nice to put it on her pillow to help her sleep, although, she considered with a rueful smile, if she rubbed some pine needles and put a few drops of whiskey on her pillow it might easily have the same effect. She shut the trunk and with a hatbox set precariously on top, dragged it outside with her and stood on her porch, confused.

Silly, foolish girl. Where will you go?

Frowning at Sister Agnes' voice, she tried to answer the question. Lottie's saloon was out with Joshua nursing a beer there, and since Jeremy would most likely be with Candy, the dormitory was ruled out too. Not to mention the gossip that would generate. Visions of Hannah and her friends laughing at her with when the girl returned from her honeymoon made Laurie's stomach boil. She chewed on her lip for a few seconds longer while scanning the clear twilight sky for answers. Seeing nothing there, she retreated to the only sanctuary she could think of.

Jason's church.

It wasn't the most ideal since she hadn't joined the Presbyterian fold yet, but would God really care? Sister Agnes had a curt answer for that, but Laurie shoved her voice clear out of her mind. She needed a quiet place to think, that was all. Religion had nothing to do with it.

Laurie skirted Seattle Square by going behind the saloon and hedging along the church wall to slip inside, dragging her trunk along and hoping no one would notice her on the church's front steps. She dropped her heavy burden just inside the door and massaged her shoulder as she edged her way between the benches, the stiffness in her petticoat making a rustling noise under her peach and white dress. She thanked her lucky star Jeremy had been wrong. The choir had retired early, leaving the church eerily silent with the faint smell of someone's perfume in the air.

She settled into a corner and bowed her head. Her lips moved in silent prayer with her hands clasped in a desperate plea, Oh, Father in Heaven, please. Please let this marriage work out...

Laurie couldn't focus very well. Her prayer was fractured at best, always coming back to those two lines. The betrayal stung. She knew Jason was concerned about leaving her alone in Seattle, but it hadn't dawned on her that he would be worried about her mental state. It was almost like living under Richard's care again, only this time her husband had seen to her comforts and needs.

That's something, isn't it? Hasn't Jason made me a home? Hasn't he seen to it that I'm surrounded by his friends and family? He said someone was watching us... at least they had been. He cared...didn't he?

It was a long time before she moved again, her back stiff. Her stomach grumbled, and she wondered how long she had before the reverend came back. She wasn't sure she was ready to handle that conversation.

A noise outside the church rose her curiosity. Peering across the room at the window, she could see lanterns moving outside that gave the illusion of stained glass lights through the beveled glass, mesmerizing her. Lanterns that sweethearts held over their lovers to light their way across Seattle Square.

A drop on her cheek pulled her out of her thoughts. She touched it and realized she was crying. There was no sweetheart to hold a lantern for her tonight, not with Jason in San Francisco. She stepped closer to the windows, her mind as tumultuous as the storm that had blown her ship into Tacoma. The possibility of Jason not being as sweet on her as she had believed hurt her heart.

God, please. I have nowhere to go.

At that moment, an idea shone past her stormy thoughts. Trunk in hand, she left the church, saying a quick prayer of gratitude for the person who had told her to visit should she ever need help, her first Seattle friend.

Aaron Stempel.

LAURIE

"What do you mean she's not coming home?"

Joshua's sharp voice was loud coming from the other room. Laurie held her head in her hands while sitting in Aaron's masculine armchair and breathed and breathed and breathed. He's so angry. Logic told her she didn't have to be frightened, but the edge to his tone was something she couldn't get used to. It was like Jason's temper the first few months of marriage before he'd learned to soften his voice and speak in those sweet, calming tones she appreciated. Not that her husband didn't still have his moments, but she had noticed that when Jason saw her reaction, he cooled his tone around her. There was no such reprieve with his brother.

"I'm sorry, Joshua, but this is for the best."

"Jason'll be furious."

"Well, yeah, he might be. But honestly, you and Jeremy aren't cut out for wife-sitting, and Laurie? Well, she'll be happier with another woman around. I don't know why Jason didn't think of it himself."

Laurie got up from the chair and walked to the window, feeling Lottie's eyes on her. Aaron was being kind. She had shown up at his doorstep, tear-stained and shaking, with Biddie stammering in the background. She didn't remember what she said to him and vaguely remembered Aaron using a few choice words himself. Her story had come tumbling out, more tears, more stomach pains, a glass or two of brandy, and somehow Lottie was there, talking with soothing words and petting Laurie's hair like her mother used to.

What made her think of that?

And now Joshua was standing outside Aaron's home, angry, although she couldn't tell who he was more furious at, her, Aaron, or himself. She hadn't heard Jeremy's voice since Joshua arrived, although she acknowledged he might have been with Candy and didn't know she had left the cabin yet.

Lottie sat on the bed in the small guest bedroom, watching Laurie with worry etched over her usual happy features, making her look much older than normal. Neither she nor Laurie spoke.

"I can't watch two places at once! There's still a deadline, Aaron."

"Look, Joshua, I understand, but she's upset."

"She's always upset!"

"Well, she's a little more upset than usual. You know, you might need to learn to tone down that Bolt temper of yours. Jason has."

"I'm not married to her!"

"No, but your brother is. Look, this is hard on everyone. Jason didn't want to go, and frankly, I don't think she wanted him to leave. Think about it this way, she's done you a favor. Without her, you wouldn't have the means to save your own hides."

There was a pause.

"We could've gotten a loan."

Lottie rolled her eyes at the obstinate claim.

"Sure you could. At any rate, watch the cabin. Or put someone on it. Someone you trust. In the meantime, your sister-in-law will be just fine at Lottie's."

"You think so."

"Yes, I do. You're not the only one that gave Jason his word."

There was another pause. Laurie imagined Aaron drawing himself up with that last proclamation, the way she had seen him do when his reputation was on the line.

"Look, this is doable. We just have to work together. Jason knew that. And no one is saying you didn't do your duty. Not even Laurie. In fact, it's not you she's upset with, it's him. Apparently, Jason told you something she told him in confidence. She feels betrayed. Hurt. Give her some time."

"Yeah. I guess Jeremy and I were a little insensitive tonight. It was a hard day."

Laurie could hear the anger diffusing out of Joshua's voice, and she nearly melted with relief onto the floor. Lottie sprang up and helped her to the bed. She sagged on the edge, her body shaking.

"I know. Look, you can apologize to her in the morning. What everyone needs is a good night's sleep. Everything is easier when the sun is shining."

"Yeah," Joshua said, sounding gloomy. It was harder to hear his voice. "Unless it's raining."

"Yeah," Aaron agreed. The sounds of Aaron moving outside were followed by a shut door, and Lottie squeezed Laurie around her shoulders.

"See? Everything's going to be fine."

Fine for the night, perhaps. But what if Joshua didn't forgive her? How would Jason have his happy family life? She looked at Lottie. She remembered blubbering something to Aaron about her state of mind and he had brushed it off, as though it was too deep a subject for him. New tears formed. "Can I ask you a question?" Laurie whispered.

"Sure, honey. Whatever you want."

"Does Jason really think I'm... incapable? Is that why he doesn't want to have children with me?"

Lottie looked stricken. There was a noise at the door and Aaron appeared.

"Everything's all set. Joshua's ego is stroked, and Eli is going to watch over your cabin while Jason's away."

"I don't know Eli," Laurie told him, frowning. "Jason mentioned him just before he left, but he was drunk. Eli, not Jason."

"Oh? Well, you might have a few bottles to clean up when all is said and done," Aaron told her a little sheepishly, "But he's devoted to Jason. He'll keep a good eye on the place."

"Thank you," Laurie whispered. Her stomach growled.

"Oh goodness," Lottie said, jumping up. "Don't tell me you haven't eaten!"

"I didn't feel like it." Laurie didn't add that although her body wanted food, her appetite had left her. She knew with Lottie the protest would be futile.

"Well, how could you, with all that Bolt brother nonsense going on?" asked Aaron, sounding both amused and sympathetic. He looked at Lottie. "Biddie left a roast in the oven."

Lottie bustled out after a concerned glance in Laurie's direction.

"Don't let it bother you too much," said Aaron, leaning against the wall. "Jason did a fine job raising them, but his brothers are still young and a little rough around the edges. It's to be expected."

Laurie nodded.

"And to answer your question to Lottie, no, that wasn't it. That's not why Jason wasn't ready to have children with you."

Her eyes lifted. He was smiling, although his face still had little worry lines creasing his usual smoothly shaved face.

"It's not?"

He straightened and offered her his hand. "No, but unlike Jason, I know how to keep my mouth shut."

She took his hand and let him walk her to the door. He retrieved a handkerchief out of his pocket to dry her eyes with. Something Jason would have done, Laurie thought, and tears fell harder.

"Oh now, look. You're just tired. And hungry, and... well, maybe a little scared. Do you realize this is your first time in Seattle without Jason around?"

"Do you realize this is the first time she's gone to a man instead of a woman for help in Seattle?" Lottie asked with a tray of food in her hands. "I think she's doing extremely well."

"I wanted to come to you," Laurie admitted to Lottie. "But I knew they'd gone for a drink, and I—I didn't want a confrontation."

"You did the right thing," said Aaron, and at Lottie's raised eyebrow, blushed. "I told you to come if you needed anything, and I said the same to Jason. There's no reason to second guess yourself."

Laurie sniffed and rubbed her eyes dry. Aaron escorted her and Lottie to his dining table. They sat together, Lottie making Laurie's plate conspicuously fuller than hers or Aaron's. Laurie suspected both had eaten earlier, which explained Biddie's presence in Aaron's cabin. She glanced around at the considerably more formal décor than Jason's tastes dictated. There were thick, red drapes with little yellow tassels to separate the dining room from the sitting room, and the rich, dark wood of the dining area reminded Laurie of the formal dining rooms back in Louisiana. Jason might be trying to build Seattle, but she could see Aaron believed in bringing culture to the area as well.

She glanced at Aaron, bit down on her lower lip, and tried again. "If it wasn't because of my state of mind, then why—"

"Because he wanted love, Laurie," said Lottie and cut Aaron's look of consternation with one of her own. "That's all he wanted, truly. But that seems to be all right now, isn't it?"

Laurie took in a shuddering breath with her eyes lowered at her plate. When she looked up to see Jason's friends with worried, compassionate expressions, her friends, she dropped her fork and sobbed in her hands.

It was what she wanted too.