Where I Belong

Chapter 27

COMPLICATED

ADDISON

"I can't do this," I say, my chest heaving as I watch Zed and his date's backs as they walk away from us. "I can't be here. Not with him, and certainly not with her."

"It's okay," Jacey says, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"No, it's not. Me being here right now is ruining everything. I should leave."

"And have Lacey notice two empty seats? She's more likely to notice that than a little animosity between you and her new brother-in-law."

"A little?"

"Okay, a lot. Just take a moment, breathe, and then get your ass in there and celebrate your friends' wedding like you should be. Put everything else aside for a few hours. You've got plenty of time to deal with all of that later."

I nod, knowing that he's right but not really wanting to accept it.

Sucking in a deep breath, I pray it'll give me some strength and I take a step towards the room. We're almost the only ones left in here now, so when a pink dress appears in my periphery, I know there's only one person it can belong to.

"Bree, I…"

"Don't," she snaps, and I still at the harshness in her tone. I've always known it's been there, but I've never been on the receiving end of it, and fuck, if it doesn't sting. It's the least of what I deserve though.

A huge ball climbs up my throat, and I have to really fight to stop the tears that want to so desperately escape from filling my eyes.

I allow Jacey to escort me into the room, and we quickly find our seats. It's not hard seeing as almost all the others are taken. And just because karma wants to fuck with me today, obviously I'm sitting so Zed is right in my line of sight.

My eyes lock onto him the second I look up. He looks breathtaking in his tailored suit, his cleanly shaved face, and his now messed-up emerald green hair. It was perfectly styled when I first saw him only a couple of hours ago, but now, thanks to me, it looks like he's run his hands through it a million times in the last ten minutes alone.

Like he can feel my stare, he drags his focus away from the man across the table he's talking to and looks directly at me. The coldness in his eyes is like a dagger through my heart.

"I'm sorry," I mouth, hoping it will help even just a tiny bit.

He shakes his head and turns away. I'm so close to sitting there and sobbing as a guy with a microphone announces the arrival of Mr. and Mrs. Necrodopolus and everyone around me stands and starts clapping. I join in, but I hardly see the happy couple through the tears filling my eyes.

How did I make such a mess of all this? All I was trying to do was follow my grandmother's advice and find a life of my own. All I seem to have achieved is to ruin the lives of those I love. I gasp. Love? No, no, no, no. I hate him. Hate. Him.

The meal is probably the best one of my life but equally the worst. The food is out of this world and even better than I sold to Jacey apparently, but I struggle to eat and then really taste any of it. All I want to do is run, yet I'm forced to sit surrounded by people I don't know and talk about my parents because although I may not know these people, it seems they all know who I am and are desperate for me to mention them to my parents. Like that's going to happen. I get question after question thrown at me about when I'm going to join the family business and continue the empire that's been built for me. I make all the right noises about wanting to get some life experience first and all that kind of bullshit, anything but tell the truth which is that I'm going nowhere near it.

By the time the coffees are served, I feel like I could go up to my room and sleep for a week. It's definitely preferable to spending the rest of the day with this fake ass smile on my face.

Not once through the entire meal did Zed so much as lift his head to look at me. His date, however… she was lapping that shit up. It was almost like she was trying to figure me out. I have no idea if she's just his usual go-to girl or if there's more there. Fuck, my chest aches at just the thought of him seeing someone else.

"I need a few minutes to myself. I totally understand if you want to leave. Actually, I think you probably should."

Jacey's eyes flick around my face as he tries to decide what he should do.

"You do what you need to do, and I'll be here when you get back."

"Jacey, I…" It's that moment that I notice he's not really looking at me but at someone over my shoulder. Following his line of sight, I find a woman that I don't recognize staring back. "Oh, I see… Well, I guess one of us should at least get laid tonight." A bitter laugh falls from my lips and Jacey's eyes come back to me.

"Shit, if you don't want…"

"No, you go and have fun. It's what should happen at these things, right?"

"You sure you're okay?"

"I will be." Leaning in, I place a quick kiss on his cheek and stand. "Go get 'em, hot stuff." With a wink, I walk away from the table and thankfully through the crowds of people who are also leaving the room in favor of the bar without being interrupted. I have no clue where Zed is. He disappeared the second he thought it was acceptable. Bree has been busy with her duties but I have no doubt she'll find me the second she gets a chance.

The moment I close my hotel room door behind me, I rest my back on it and blow out a very long breath.

I stay there for the longest time, running the events of today over and over in my mind. It doesn't help. I still feel like a fucking idiot for putting us all in this fucked-up situation.

I'm lost in my own head when there's a loud click behind me and then someone's trying to push the door open.

I jump forward to allow whoever it is to enter.

"Can I hel…" my words falter when I see who it is.

Bree steps inside the room and closes the door.

It's not until she takes a step towards me that she looks up. Her eyes, like mine, are full of unshed tears.

Bree, I'm so…"

"Don't!" she snaps, holding up her hand to ensure I seal my lips. "How long? How long have you been lying to me for? And don't even think about doing it again."

"Just a couple of weeks," I whisper, ashamed that I've lied to her at all.

"Just? So you think that just because it's a short amount of time it's okay? When were you planning on telling me exactly?" I open my mouth to respond, but she must be able to read something in my expression. "Wait… You were going to tell me, right?"

"It's… it's more complicated than that, Bree."

"How is it complicated exactly? All you had to do was tell me you'd met him. Tell me you liked him. But no, you went behind my back when you know damn well that I would have supported you no matter what. Because I would, you know. If you would have come to me and explained that you liked him, then I'd have said good luck, see if you can tame the stupid fucker. But no. You decided to lie, time and time again if the connection between the two of you is anything to go by."

"That's just it, though. I don't like him. I fucking hate him."

She rears back like I've just slapped her. "But…"

"It's complicated. But I need you to know that he hasn't been lying to you. He had no idea who I was. Until you pointed it out downstairs, he had no idea we even went to school together."

"Right, okay."

I sit down on the edge of my bed while she paces back and forth, trying to make sense of all this.

"So where did you meet him?"

"You really need to be talking to him about this, not me."

"No, Addison." My jaw drops at her use of my full name. "I'm asking you. I'm standing here asking for my best friend to be honest with me."

"I know, and I get it. But there are things that aren't for me to explain. Zed is…" I trail off, trying to think of the correct way to describe him.

"Zed is…" she prompts.

"Complicated."

"Yeah, you said that word already. Several times in fact. I understand you think it's complicated, but I'm asking for you to break it down for me. I don't understand what's so important that you'd keep it from me."

"You know Zed's secretive about what he does."

"So he's making you keep his secrets?"

"No, he had no idea I could… ugh… none of it matters right now. I'll tell you everything you want to know, but you've got to speak to him first." It physically pains me to do this, and the look on Bree's face damn near breaks my heart. I know my loyalty should be with her and that I should spill all Zed's secrets in a heartbeat after everything, but I can't. Some weird little fucked up part of me still feels the need to protect his secret.

She stops pacing in front of me. "You're fucking serious, aren't you?" I nod. "Why the fuck are you protecting him after the way he treated you downstairs?"

The tears that were pooling in my eyes spill over at last. "Because they're his secrets to tell, not mine."

"Even to me?" The pain in her voice is palpable as her own tears drop.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I sob.

She opens her mouth to say something but decides against it. She takes two steps back towards my door. "Fuck you, Addie. I hope he was fucking worth it."

A sob rips from my throat at the same moment she pulls the door open and runs through it.

Falling back on the bed, I take the lid off of everything I've been holding inside today.

When I eventually drag my exhausted ass from the bed, both my hair and makeup need a total redo. Finding my phone at the bottom of my purse, I shoot a quick text to Jacey to make sure he's still okay. It takes a few minutes, but eventually, I get a reply that's a huge smiley face. Well, at least one of us is having a good day.

After rummaging through my overnight bag, I remove all my makeup and start again, followed by my hair. Neither are as sophisticated as when I first arrived, but it'll have to do.

When I wrap my fingers around the door handle, I don't feel even the slightest bit prepared for what tonight might hold. I desperately want to stay hidden up here, but if by any chance Lacey does look for me then I'll never forgive myself.

The party is in full swing by the time I get to the ballroom once more. All the tables from this afternoon have been cleared out and there's now a dance floor in front of a massive DJ set up with loads of lights and gigantic speakers.

The lights have been dimmed slightly so it takes a moment for me to spot Jacey, but when I do I find him sitting alone.

"Hey, how's it going?"

"It's good. She had to go off and mingle."

"Who is she?"

"Friend of the family… I think."

"You think? What the hell have you been talking about all this time?"

"She's a dancer."

"One that keeps their clothes on or…"

"You're funny. How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been hit by a truck. Never better."

"Wine?"

"Please."

I watch as he gets up and walks to the bar. I look around the room once more, but when I don't see Bree or Zed, my heart drops.