Hi! I just wanted to say that I am very overwhelmed with the amount of support everyone is giving me. I'm posting this early as I'm not very well today and I'll probably end up going to sleep or something later on but I wanted to update just incase I don't feel well later on. I hope you like this chapter as I said yesterday please let me know, I've tried to keep it to a minimum on this chapter as you'll see soon but there are upcoming chapters that will involve Tris and Tobias so please give it a chance! There is a reason for this as you'll see soon! If you don't want to read the first part there are three 'Xxx' breaking the chapter to the next part of the chapter so feel free to skip to them.
Thank you all again so much I do really appreciate it!
Tris
My sex clenches. My lips part. My fingers curl into my purse.
My body screams yes, yes, yes. More, more, more.
I want everything Tobias offered. All of it. All at once. I want his hands on my wrists. I want his body sinking into mine. I want him issuing dirty demands.
Something inside me wakes up. Some part of me that's been seeking attention for a long, long time. I've never played games like this before. I've barely allowed myself to consider them. Only when I heard rumors about Tobias.
Even then, it was about him. I wondered what he wanted now. If he'd always wanted control. If he'd want to tie me to his bed.
Sure, the thought of his hands on my wrists made my sex clench, but I told myself it was something else. Memories of him. Loneliness.
I'm an independent woman. I can't want this. It goes against everything I believe.
But I do.
Right now, with his blue eyes fixed on me, and his voice low and deep—
Right now, I know. It's not simple curiosity. It's not memories of Tobias taking my virginity.
It's the fire in his eyes. The threat in his posture. The heft in his voice.
I want him. I want it so badly.
"Yes," I breathe.
Am I being smart or foolish? Is it better to make him suffer from this pent-up desire or better to get what I want?
Holding out is stubborn. Giving in...
"Come here." His fingers curl around my wrist. It's a different touch than usual. Hard. Sexy as all hell.
He grips me tightly as he reaches around the coat check's half-door and unlocks it. He nearly drags me through it. Nearly pins me to the wall.
Then he releases me. Closes both halves of the door. Clicks the lock.
We're in a small room with a sparse silver rack. It's May. An especially warm day. Not many coats to check.
Still—"Is someone working here?"
"Do you see anyone?" He looks around the small space. It's smaller than his office. But that's not saying much. His office is enormous.
There's certainly nowhere for an attendant to hide. "No."
My veins buzz with desire. It sounds so hot when he says it like that.
His pupils dilate.
His expression shifts to something primal and predatory, like he's a wolf and I'm a scared little sheep.
But I don't feel like prey. I feel like a fucking goddess. "They're expecting us at dinner."
"You'll have to be fast then."
My chest heaves with my inhale.
"Are you wearing anything under that?"
"Yes."
"Take it off."
I nod and bring my hands to my hips. The slit of my dress. It's cut high enough it's easy to slip my hand beneath it. To find the edges of my smooth black thong—Christina insisted on something seamless.
I slide the garment to my knees.
Tobias keeps his back against the wall. "All the way—"
Right now, I'm buckling. My body is screaming now.
"Not yet." His eyes pass over me slowly. My eyes, lips, shoulders, chest, waist, pelvis. The panties at my ankles. "Even if you do get on your knees and beg me."
Fuck.
"First—" He moves closer. He lowers himself to one knee and he reaches for me, but he doesn't touch me. His fingers go to my lingerie. He pulls it to my feet without touching my skin. "Raise your foot."
I do.
He pulls the thong aside. "The other."
I do that too.
He takes my underwear and slides it into his pocket. "You don't need this anymore." He stands. Takes one step backward. Presses himself against the wall. Strong, demanding posture that screams I'll give you want you want, when I've decided you want it badly enough.
My body screams yes, more, all, now, please. I can barely stand. I try to find steadiness, but the rack is in the way. Between my shoes and my shaking legs, it takes all my concentration to stand.
"Pull up your dress." He motions to the slit. "I want to see."
Before my brain can think up a single objection, my body obeys. My hands go to the slit in my dress. I pull it up my thigh, higher and higher—
"Stop." His eyes go to my exposed skin. The tip of my thigh. The edge of my pelvis. He can't see anything yet.
"Stop?"
He nods yes. "Hand on your thigh."
"The same one?"
"Yes."
My hand skims the smooth fabric. Cool silk. My skin is burning hot in comparison. Or maybe that's just Tobias.
"Higher."
I drag my hand a little higher.
"Higher."
I do it again.
"Until you just barely feel the pressure."
"Yes."
"Yes," My sex pulses at the sound. It sounds right on my lips. And the demand in his eyes—
Fuck. My eyes close. I'm too on edge. Too needy.
I drag my hand higher and higher and higher. Until I'm almost there.
Tobias breath gets heavier.
Higher and higher—
There. I groan as my finger brushes my clit. My body is impatient. My hand acts on its own. Presses harder and harder. Until I'm right at the pressure I need.
"Look at me."
My eyes blink open. Go to him. Those baby blues are fixed on me. Demanding every ounce of my attention, pleasure, obedience.
It shouldn't set me on fire, but it does.
Right now I don't care about should or shouldn't.
I don't care about anything but following his orders.
It's strange, intoxicating, thrilling.
Most of all, it's freeing. Right now, struggling to stand in this tiny coat room, staring at the man who has all the power to destroy me—
Right now, I'm not a woman under contract who's struggling to keep her head above water.
Right now, I'm a being of pure bliss.
"Is that how you touch yourself?" he asks. "Your fingers on the outside? Or do you drive those fingers deep"
"The first. Usually."
"Show me."
"Yes—" My eyes catch his. This time, I say it without reminder. "Yes." I hold his gaze as I draw circles around my sex.
The heavy fabric drapes over my arm, adding drag, attempting and failing to cool my skin.
He can't see what I'm doing, but he's not looking at my pelvis. He's looking at my face. Watching my expression change like I'm the Mona Lisa. Or, knowing Tobias, like I'm the zeroes at the end of a massive paycheck.
Right now, I'm the only thing he wants, and he's the only thing I want, and nothing else matters.
I hold his gaze as I make my touch firmer. Tension builds quickly. All that pleasure buzzing through my body collects in my sex. Winds tighter and tighter.
It's hard to keep my eyes open. His stare is too intense. My orgasm is too close.
Fuck, I can't remember the last time I ached like this. Not with someone else. Not on my own.
I touch myself plenty. I mean everyone does, don't they? Sometimes, I even think of him.
But it's not like this.
This is something else. His presence makes everything sharper.
The intensity in his eyes. The part of his lips. The hardness in his slacks.
He wants me so badly. But he's so calm and patient. Waiting. Watching. Staring like I'm his favorite movie.
I want that. I want to unzip his slacks, do away with his boxers, wrap my fingers around him.
I want to stroke him until he becomes undone.
Even more, I want him to hold me against the wall, to order me to grip him tightly so he can feel what I'm feeling right now.
To order me onto all fours so he can—
Fuck. With the next brush of my finger, I become undone. My eyes flutter closed for a second. They beg to stay closed, but my body wants to follow his orders more.
My eyes blink open. All that tension in my sex winds so tight it hurts. Then it unravels.
A wave of pleasure rocks through me. My hands shake, my knees knock, my toes curl into my heels.
My world goes white, nothing but blinding light, nothing but the purest bliss in the universe.
"Beautiful." Tobias voice is a low growl. Equal parts demand, dare, appreciation. He takes one step toward me. Places his hand on my hips. Steadying me.
Then his arms are around me and I'm melting into his body.
He holds me closely for a long moment, then he helps me up, smooths my dress, presses his lips to mine.
It's not a kiss for show. It's not the peck of a friend. It's pure, deep need.
For my body? My obedience? My love?
I'm not sure. I'm not sure what I'm offering when I kiss him back. Only that I want all of it. Everything.
He pulls away with a heady sigh. "I'll go back to the table first. Wait a minute, then join me."
"They'll know—"
"Does that bother you?"
Maybe it should, but it doesn't. I shake my head.
He smiles. A cocky smile.
Maybe that should bother me too, but it doesn't. It only makes me ache for him.
How can I be needy and satisfied at once? It defies reason. But then Tobias always has.
I let him unlock the door and leave the room. Then I smooth my dress, check my hair and makeup in the bathroom, wash my hands.
I was wrong about the dress. I'm the one out of my mind. But I was wrong about caring too.
I'm going to take his dare.
I'm going to get on my knees and beg.
But that isn't losing. It's winning.
I'm going to get what I want.
I'm going to get every single thing I want.
Xxx
Steady feet, subtle smile, effortless expression. I smooth my dress. Hold my bag to my hip. Walk casually, like I've been in the bathroom perfecting my lipstick, not in the closet touching myself.
There are eyes on me. People are staring. There's something in my posture, my smile, my ruffled hair. Something that gives me away.
Do people know? Does it matter?
I suppose it's better for Tobias this way. It adds credence to the whole we're madly in love thing.
There. I approach the table. Try out an aloof expression.
Tobias does nothing to hide his satisfied smile. He might as well scream that's right, I fucked my fiancée.
"Longline?" Uriah looks to Eric and raises a brow. The restaurant is quiet. And more than half the patrons are men. It's clear there isn't a long line.
Eric expression shifts to one of contemplation. He makes that hmmm noise. Not the parental one. The wow, that's a pickle one.
It's strange. Eric seems like exactly the type of guy who sneaks away for illicit trysts. Is he really judging Tobias for this?
No, it's not a judgmental look. It's a curious one. Like he's not sure what to believe.
Huh.
Strange.
There's a reason for this dinner. A reason why we're meeting with Eric and Uriah and not just Uriah. Tobias didn't ask me to dress up to step into Uriah's helicopter.
Sure, those didn't dress up circumstances. But he didn't give me any sort of instruction or warning. He's not trying to convince Uriah of anything.
Eric, on the other hand...
I make a mental note to look up Eric Coulter. To find out what he has to do with Tobias. He's on the board of a company Tobias wants to buy. Or wants to sell. Or wants to buy something he has to sell. He must be.
The timing is too suspect. It must have something to do with this whole plan.
Or maybe I'm thinking zebras when I should think horses. Tobias doesn't need an elaborate reason to bargain with me. There are plenty of reasons why marriage is a good idea.
It raises his status, ends those rumors about his extra-curricular activities, marks him as a normal, family man.
The chance to have me under his thumb—
My head hurts. I sit. Sip another glass of mineral water. Focus on my food. A sizzling steak topped with chimichurri and pickled onions. Tangy beets with creamy goat cheese and nutty pistachios. Rich chocolate cake with fresh raspberries.
A perfectly steeped pot of black tea to go with it. A Russian Caravan that brings out the complexity of the chocolate cake.
With enough caffeine to keep me up all night.
I nod along as we finish dessert. The men talk business. Eric says something gross, but no doubt well-intentioned, in his mind, about how he likes a woman who eats, not one who's too skinny.
At once, Tobias' face fills with fury. With a deep anger I barely recognize. It should scare me. It does scare part of me. But there's this other part that's thrilled, flattered, aroused even.
I place my hand on his. Motion don't. It's nothing. Not worth it. I hear worse all the time.
Men think they're entitled to comment on women's bodies. Especially women who work for them.
"Does that mean you'll be paying the catering at our wedding?" I smile serenely, like I find his joke oh-so-amusing.
Eric just laughs. "No, but I have a better idea. Have you ever had a personal tour of a chocolate factory?"
Tobias raises a brow what? He looks to Uriah for help, but the charming man just shrugs.
"I can arrange it anytime. Before the wedding. As part of the honeymoon. Have you ever been to Paris, Tris?" he asks.
My heart skips at the thought of the city of lights. "Never."
"I think you'd prefer London, honestly," Uriah says. "I know I'm biased, but between the tea and the theater—"
Theater in the West End. My nod is involuntary. "I'd love that."
"Did you just invite my fiancée to London?" Tobias asks.
"Someone has to do it." He looks to Eric. "You have Paris. I have London. Where will you sponsor, Tobias? Rome? Madrid? Someplace the coffee is as dark as your soul?"
My laugh is real. Easy. I like Uriah. He knows Tobias. Knows how to push his buttons. Knows there's something unusual about our arrangement.
I'm not sure how much he knows, but it's enough he's helping us convince Eric, not fighting for the truth.
"Please," Tobias says. "There isn't any coffee in the world as dark as my soul. But I wouldn't expect you to know your beans."
Uriah holds up his cup of tea as if to toast.
I raise mine to meet him.
Tobias shakes his head how ridiculous. It's sweet. Loving. Like we're a real couple having a normal dinner with friends.
"Sounds like an invitation to Hawaii to me," Uriah says. "Tour every Island looking for Kona coffee as dark as your fiancé's soul."
"I have to agree. It's not possible." My eyes meet Tobias'. God, it's hard looking at him after that. I'm still buzzing. "But it would be fun to try."
"Think about it, Tris," Eric interrupts. "Peter and I own factories all over the world. He insisted on sending the two of you on a tour of one. Our treat. Think about where you'd like to go."
I guess this is a perk of marrying a rich man. The world is my oyster. I have to get used to it.
After dinner, we take a cab back to Tobias' apartment. Apparently, he gave Amar and Tori the night off. Apparently, he wanted privacy at home.
"Don't they live with you?" I ask.
"Tori has a room, yes," he says. "But she enjoys nightlife too."
"Really?" It's hard to imagine his buttoned-up assistant tearing up the dance floor. But then I'm sure it's hard to imagine me touching myself in the coat room. At least, for people who see me in my assistant gear.
"Yes. She loves jazz. Why? Would you like to attend a show?" His eyes meet mine. His voice stays curious. Like he really is interested in my feelings about jazz. Like he really does want to find an activity that will please me.
"Maybe. I can't say I know much about the genre." Or music, in general. I grew up on Mom and Dad's favorites. They were always exposing themselves to new music. The old and the new. Somehow, that ended up being some mix of the Beatles, the Beach Boys, and disco.
Lots and lots of disco.
Seriously, we could run a roller rink with all the disco Dad owns.
"Dad mostly listens to ABBA," I say.
"Really? Did you take him to see Mama Mia?"
"I did." I smile at the memory of our cheap theater seats. It was the first time, the only time, I saw him captivated by the stage. I'm sure it was just the familiar songs, but it still felt right, connecting over something I love so deeply. "He adored it. The movies too. The first. He didn't like the second as much. He wanted new songs. Though he did love the setting. He was surprised by how beautiful Greece was."
"Was he?"
"You have to see the movie to understand. It's all sun and sea and beautiful white houses. Like Greece is the happiest, easiest, safest place in the world."
"You liked the movie?" He helps me out of the car. For a moment, we're on the street outside his apartment on a beautiful May evening. The air is still warm. The breeze is light. It even smells like spring.
For a moment, we're a normal couple, coming home after a date, ready to kiss goodbye.
Then I reach for my key and realize I don't have one. I'm still leaving the apartment when he allows, returning when he says okay.
That can't be an oversight. More likely, he's testing me. Letting me prove I can behave with this much leash before he offers more.
I turn to the sky. That New York blue. A beautiful shade that only exists here. The light pollution dulls the stars, but it makes the sky so gorgeous.
"Do you mind if I take a walk?" I want to say fuck off, I'll walk wherever I want, but that's a luxury I don't have. I know better than to bite the hand that feeds.
If it was just me, my needs, my desire for a safe place to rest my head, I might do it.
But Tobias is paying for Dad's treatment at home. Dad has Mariah three shifts a week. An aide, no doubt one who likes Dan Brown less, keeps an eye on him the rest of the time.
He's safe. That's what matters.
I motion to the river, half a dozen blocks away. "I need to clear my head."
His eyes pass over me slowly. "You shouldn't wear that alone, this late at night."
"This is a nice neighborhood."
"I don't care. I don't like it."
My cheeks flame. My chest too. I shouldn't like him being protective as much as I do. I should find it annoying. Imposing.
Typical Tobias, taking care of his possessions.
But I want him taking care of me.
I want him growling with jealousy.
I want him furious at the thought of other men touching me.
"Here." I take his coat. Sling it over my shoulders. It's too warm—far too warm—but it does the job of covering me.
His eyes meet mine. "Is that what you'd like, a quiet walk alone?"
"Yes."
"You can have the balcony to yourself."
"Even so."
He nods with understanding. "Think about what Eric said."
"Huh?"
"He'll say the trip is just for us. Then he'll show up at the factory like it's a coincidence. Or he'll send Peter. Eric seems to believe us, but Peter is... less easily impressed."
There's more there. Something he isn't saying. But I know better than to ask. "Sure."
"I've seen some of his factories. They're interesting, but not any more so than chocolate factories in Brooklyn. If you'd like to tour one sooner, I can arrange it."
"That's fine."
"We will need to accept his offer. Treat it like the gift he sees it as."
"Fly to Madrid?"
"I'm not sure you'll find much tea in Madrid. The paella might make up for it."
My chest warms. He's looking out for me. He's protecting me. But he's also treating me like a prisoner.
I don't know what to believe.
I repeat my mantra. Dad is okay. Dad is okay. Dad is okay.
That is what matters. "I suppose he won't appreciate it if we want to see his factory in Brooklyn?" I ask.
"Unlikely. But I'll see."
"Good."
"I think you'd like Paris. Even though—"
"No good tea there either?"
"So I hear." He offers me his hand. "Are you sure you don't want to come up now?" There's something in his eyes. Almost like he's pleading for me.
Not for sex.
For companionship. Comfort.
Which only makes my thoughts swirl faster.
This is strange. Confusing. I need to think. By myself. "Yes. Thank you."
"You can let yourself in." He pulls a key from his pocket. Presses it into my palm. "Lock the door behind you. And leave it on the table in the living room."
So he does know I don't have a key. And he wants to keep it that way. "This would be easier if I had a key."
"In a few days."
I guess that's a compromise. It's weird. But I can respect his caution. Mostly. "Thank you."
"Good night, Tris."
"Good night." I watch him move into the apartment. Then I turn toward the river and go in search of clarity.
What the hell does Tobias want from me?
Why is he really doing this?