It had only been three days but it had felt like a lot longer. Thomas, along with everyone else, had his gaze on Richard who was grinning back at him. Once his brain had established that he was really there standing in front of him, Thomas observed how Richard was missing his usual neat appearance somewhat. He was wearing two coats it seemed- one that was a bit too big for him and looked a lot more worn that his smarter coat that was hidden underneath. Richard's hair was wet and messy, blown out of place and in several directions by the wind. His nose was red from the cold and there was a streak of mud up his left cheek which Thomas reckoned he didn't know about or else he would have removed it before arriving. All in all, Richard looked disheveled but despite this, Thomas couldn't help but see him as the most handsome man he'd ever come across. Richard's appearance also made Thomas think: It looks like he has walked from York! He didn't, did he?
"What the bloody hell has happened to you Richard?" Chris asked, breaking the silence and earning himself a glare from Mr Carson for his language, which Chris ignored.
"Many things Chris," Richard said. "But I'm here now." Richard looked at Thomas again, who still hadn't said anything further.
"You didn't walk all the way back here from York did you?" Charlotte asked from down the other end of the table.
"Not entirely," Richard answered. "Just about seven or eight miles of the last part of my journey."
You walked that far for me? Thomas silently asked Richard. No one had ever done anything like that for him before. Thomas stood up rather suddenly, his chair scrapping on the floor, and stood facing Richard. He wasn't sure what he planned on doing next. He knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to kiss him and kiss him properly, again and again, but he couldn't do that here. So he decided on the next best thing, though it seemed that Richard was having the same thoughts, for as soon as Thomas took one step closer to his lover, Richard stepped forward too. And so, together, they pulled each other into a hug. Thomas's head rested momentarily on Richard's shoulder, facing away from the rest of the table, so no one saw him when he closed his eyes and sighed. They pulled back too soon, as any longer would appear much too suspicious. Thomas straightened himself out again. "You look exhausted," Thomas said.
"I could do with food and some warm clothes, yes," Richard said. "I was going to change before arriving here but I was already so late and I didn't want to waste any more time."
"We keep some spare clothes in one of the empty bedrooms," Mrs Hughes said. After there was an incident with a pot of fish sauce and Andy's shirt a few years ago, she and Mr Barrow had decided it would be a good idea to have some spare clothes set aside for those staff who didn't live at Downton. "You are welcome to see if they fit you."
"That's very kind of you Mrs Hughes, thank you," Richard said.
"No problem. I'm sure Mr Barrow will show you where we keep them," Mrs Hughes said, giving Thomas a look.
Thomas smiled in thanks at her. "Yes I will, this way Richard," Thomas said as Richard followed him out of the room.
"That was sweet," Charlotte remarked after the pair had left.
"I would hardly think 'sweet' is the correct word for it Charlotte," Mr Carson said. "It is not the way a man in Mr Barrow's position as head of staff should be seen behaving."
"I see no reason why not Mr Carson," Chris said. "They were just happy to see each other. Correct me if I am wrong, but being happy, especially this day, is not a crime."
Mrs Hughes could feel the tension coming off her husband and Mr Webster, and decided to intervene before the mood turned sour. "There is no need for any of that thank you," she said to both men. "All that matters is that Mr Ellis is home safely. Mr Webster, will you pass me the goose so we can put some aside for Mr Ellis?"
...
Richard followed Thomas upstairs to the men's bedroom corridor where Thomas opened the door to his old room. Neither of them had said a word on their way up to the attics and Thomas wasn't giving anything away. He followed Thomas inside shutting the door behind them. As soon as the door clicked shut, Thomas had his mouth on Richard's, one arm around his waist the other behind his neck and in his damp hair. Richard quickly responded, pulling Thomas closer by placing his hands on each of Thomas's shoulders. Their kisses were deep and passionate, and Thomas didn't care in the slightest that Richard, after a day of travelling, didn't smell the sweetest. He was here, his mouth on his own, both their hearts beating together. He could stay like this forever. Richard had wanted to do this since he first walked into the servants hall. Three days was a long time and yes he could have made his life easier by waiting another day or two to come home, but this was why he had made the effort and yes Thomas was worth it. He leaned his head back a bit, tilting his chin up as Thomas started to lay tender kisses on his neck. He sighed pleasantly. But he knew where this was going, and yes he wanted that but now would not be a good time. If they were too long someone might come looking for them. "Aren't I supposed to be getting out of these clothes?" Richard asked.
Thomas chuckled, seeming to forget the real reason they were up in this room. "You should be yes, I could assist."
"We can't now," Richard said as he planted a kiss on Thomas's forehead as he faced him again. "We will be missed." Thomas looked disappointed. "Besides we have tomorrow don't we? Let's wait, then we can savor the moment?"
"Why are you always so sensible?" Thomas asked, kissing him again.
"You know full well that I am not," Richard said as Thomas reluctantly pulled away from him and opened up a wardrobe and rummaged around before pulling a few items out.
"These should fit," Thomas said, handing Richard a pile of clothes.
"They will. You know my size by now," Richard said. He put the clothes down on the bed and shrugged off his two coats and started to undo his tie and shirt. As he did so, Thomas looked down.
"You're hurt," he said looking at Richard's ankle.
Richard followed Thomas's gaze. There was a patch of red showing through one of his socks, he hadn't even noticed it until now, probably because of the cold. "It's nothing to worry about."
"You finish getting changed, I'll just fetch a few things from the bathroom to clean that," Thomas said.
"Darling, you don't need too," Richard said softly. "It is fine really, couldn't even feel it before you mentioned it."
"You walked all that way for me. I want to fuss over you," Thomas said. "Do you know what you cut it on?"
"No, afraid not. Probably a stone wall or maybe the road when I slid down it on the ice."
Thomas looked alarmed. "You fell on the road too?"
"No, it was a controlled situation. I slid down a hill covered in ice on top of my father's coat, and it was the only way to get down it in one piece and quickly," Richard explained.
"You said you wouldn't do anything stupid," Thomas said.
"I didn't. It all worked out well anyway," Richard said. "You worry about me too much."
"Only because I love you," Thomas said as he left to go to the bathroom.
"And I love you for it," Richard said after Thomas had left.
...
Thomas came back a couple of minutes later just after Richard had finished changing. He was looking a lot less disheveled now and a lot more like his usual self. Thomas thought he looked tired though. He supposed he should be considering everything that he has done today, although Thomas has only heard a snippet of Richard's adventures. Richard liked to tell stories, so Thomas imagined he was holding back so that he could share with everyone else whilst sitting at the table eating Christmas dinner. Richard was sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for him, Thomas knelt down before him and put a few things he had gathered from the bathroom next to him on the floor. "You really don't need to bother with it," Richard said. "It's beginning to heal anyway, looks like it stopped bleeding ages ago."
"And you would be happy to see if it gets infected with any dirt that might have gotten into it during your little adventure today? I think not," Thomas said.
"No but-"
"Richard dear- shut up and let me help you," Thomas said.
"Okay okay, fine. I give in," Richard said in good humour.
"Thank you," Thomas said, letting his eyes meet Richard's just for a second before setting to work, cleaning his wound. It wasn't a big cut. Nothing like he has dealt with before, probably only a inch and a half but long enough and deep enough to have bled for a while, judging by how much dried blood was on the surrounding skin.
"Won't need stitches will it?" Richard asked.
"No course not. It's a cut Richard, not a stab wound. Don't be so dramatic," Thomas said grinning.
"I'm not. I was not the one who insisted on dealing with it anyway."
"You're not afraid of needles are you?" Thomas asked.
"Will you think less of me if I admitted I'm not keen on them?"
"Course not, though you've answered my question by just saying that," Thomas said. Richard winced as Thomas wiped some cotton soaked in antiseptic over the cut. "Sorry."
"No carry on," Richard said. He was finding sort of adorable watching Thomas being so gentle. "You're good at this. In another life you could have been a doctor."
Thomas smiled. "I do seem to find myself tending to people's injuries a lot these days."
"Oh? Who else has needed your tender hands?" Richard asked.
"Um, Chris," Thomas said, wishing Richard had not used those words.
"What happened to him?"
"Found him sitting in the dark on our kitchen floor when I came home yesterday evening, his leg, the injured one, had completely seized up. He had been there for hours waiting for me," Thomas explained.
Richard looked concerned. "He said that happens sometimes, but never for long."
"The cold affects the muscles. I warmed them up and that seemed to fix things for now," Thomas said.
Richard raised his eyebrows. "You warmed him up, how? I hope you didn't offer a massage?"
"Richard don't be jealous! I didn't give him a massage, just that cushion I have that you can warm up in the oven. I didn't think Chris would have been comfortable with me giving him a massage," Thomas said.
"Oh I don't know. You know he fancies you, he'd probably enjoy your hands on him," Richard said.
"Richard! That's not fair on him and you know it."
"I know sorry."
"We should go down now, and don't you mention what we just talked about to Chris. I don't think he'd want anyone to know and I think it would make him uncomfortable," Thomas said.
"I wouldn't. I was only joking. Chris is my friend too you know," Richard said.
"I'm glad to hear it," Thomas said, fixing a piece of gauze over Richard's wound.
"You're not cross with me are you?" Richard asked as Thomas stood up.
"No course not, I know you meant nothing bad by it," Thomas said. He stepped close to Richard again and smoothed down a corner of Richard's shirt collar before kissing him tenderly.
"Shame we have to go," Richard said.
"You must want to eat. Can imagine you are starving," Thomas said.
"I am, though I need some time alone with you later before we leave. There is something I want to give you," Richard said.
...
Richard did want to eat. Thomas watched him help himself to another portion of meat, roast potatoes and vegetables. He was effectively having two Christmas dinners, though he deserved it. Chris grinned at Thomas, who was also noticing now hungry his friend was. "Did you not eat for the whole three days you were in York Richard?" Chris asked.
"My mum is a very good cook, but I am pretty worn out after today," Richard said.
"You said you walked part of the way back, but what about the rest of it?" Stephen asked.
"I was lucky. In a few ways," Richard said, before pausing to finish another mouthful. "There was one train heading in the direction of Downton today, but it only travelled part of the distance I needed as not all of the track was cleared of snow. So I had about eight miles to make up myself. I had reckoned that I could walk that distance and still arrive here in a decent time but I underestimated how difficult walking in the snow can be. I ended up cutting through some fields as they were quicker to walk through than the ice covered roads, but by that time it was getting dark."
"So how did you get back here so quickly?" Charlotte asked.
"I was lucky once more. I slipped up in one of those fields-"
"-That doesn't sound very lucky," Charlotte interrupted.
"Charlotte, let Mr Ellis finish," Mrs Hughes said.
"Sorry Mrs Hughes."
"I slipped up and found myself lying on my back in the snow when I was discovered by an inquisitive young sheep dog and its owner, Matthew Tomlinson, the farmer who works that land," Richard continued.
"Oh Mr Tomlinson is who you, and many others, helped with the harvest back in September," Thomas said. He had fond memories of that day and Richard's tanned torso.
"I thought the name sounded familiar," Richard said. "Anyway, he was kind enough to give me a lift back to Downton on the back of his tractor, if it wasn't for him I would probably still be walking."
"Well it sounds like you've had quite a day," Miss Baxter said. "You shouldn't feel you have to stay if you want to rest."
"That's kind of you Miss Baxter but I was very determined to be here and I don't mind staying. I'm not opening the shop tomorrow anyway, so I can rest then," Richard said.
"So was it worth it Mr Ellis? Walking all this way just for dinner with us lot?" Charlotte asked.
Richard couldn't correct her by saying that he came home for Thomas but he reckoned that she knew that already. "It absolutely was."
...
Later on, after the food had been cleared away and everyone was wondering if they would ever need to eat again, Thomas came into the servants hall carrying a large crate containing what looked like a dozen or so bottles of wine. "A present from Lord Grantham," Thomas announced. That announcement was met with nods and mutterings of approval.
"His Lordship has chosen well," Mr Carson said, taking a bottle. "We do have glasses Mr Barrow I hope?"
"Daisy is fetching those now Mr Carson, although this is an informal occasion, so drinking from the bottle is welcome as far as I am concerned," Thomas said. He thought it best to give the option. He couldn't really imagine Mr Carson drinking wine straight from the bottle.
"I'll fetch us a few glasses shall I Thomas?" Richard asked. "Chris, shall I get you one too?"
"Yes thank you," Chris said.
"I was right then," Chris said to Thomas when Richard was fetching the glasses.
"About what?" Thomas asked.
"That he'd come back to you today," Chris said. He didn't need to bother lowering his voice to say so, as some music had just been turned on by one of the maids.
Thomas smiled. "You were. If we had made a bet then I would owe you."
Richard appeared again with three glasses. "I suppose we'd better set a good impression, at least at first," he said, pouring each of them a drink. "When things move on a bit more this evening, then we can drop the formalities and just have a bottle."
"Exactly how far are you letting things go Thomas?" Chris asked. "Do drunk servants serve as well as sober ones?"
"I think tonight, I have no say in how far certain people will go," Thomas said, looking in the direction of a rather happy looking Mr Moseley. "Though fortunately for us, those individuals no longer work at Downton."
"Well I suppose we should drink to something," Richard said.
"How about hope for the future?" Chris suggested. "That is what you both have given me."
"I'd go with that," Thomas said.
"Yes, me too," Richard said, picking up his glass. "To hope for the future."
"Hope for the future," Thomas and Chris said together.
...
A little while later Thomas and Richard were sitting alone at the end of the table. Chris had involved himself in a game of cards with Mr Bates and Anna, which he seemed to be winning. Stephen had been playing for a while too but had excused himself from the game and had instead begun looking at the clock nervously and wad pacing a bit. Thomas was wondering what the matter was and he had meant to ask, but was getting distracted by Richard holding his hand under the table. He reckoned if they were more reckless they could hold hands in full view of everyone, and no one would notice as no one was paying them the slightest bit of attention. It was strange, because Thomas knew that most people here wouldn't mind too much if he and Richard held hands. It wasn't exactly a secret who they were to each other but at the same time, they couldn't be seen. Stephen then appeared to take a deep breath and walk over to them both. Thomas reluctantly let go of Richard's hand, even though there was no danger from Stephen. "Mr Barrow, I was wondering if I can go out for a few hours?"
Thomas reckoned he knew what this was about, and Richard seemed to read his mind too. "Meeting someone?"
"You saying I can go Mr barrow?" Stephen asked.
"I am, although it's a simple question," Thomas asked.
"Thank you Mr Barrow and yes I am if that's okay?" Stephen said.
"Well going for a walk on your own in the dark would make me suspicious," Thomas said. He saw that maybe he was coming off a bit too strict sounding so tried to lighten things. "Go Stephen, just be back before midnight as that is when we will all be leaving or going to bed and you won't want to be locked out."
"Take a torch as well, it's still slippery out there," Richard added.
"And this," Thomas said, grabbing a bottle from the crate on the table. "It's been started but there is still enough for the both of you. You should celebrate properly. And I shouldn't really be encouraging this so don't do anything I wouldn't do, okay?"
"No, thank you Mr Barrow," Stephen said. "He will appreciate it." Stephen took the bottle and turned to leave but hesitated. "I hope you don't mind, but I thought you should know that I think you are a good person and Downton is lucky to have you in charge."
Thomas did not expect that. Stephen had always been quite shy and that was rather forward of him but he was touched. "Thank you Stephen, I appreciate that. Now go and see him."
Stephen smiled and left. "He is right, you are a good man. The best really," Richard said.
Thomas thought this was a good time for them to slip away. "Come with me," Thomas said, getting up from the table. Richard followed Thomas to his office where they could get some privacy. Thomas shut the door behind them, turned the key for good measure and switched on the light giving the room a soft glow. He took Richard by the hand and guided him to the centre of the room.
"Mistletoe?" Richard asked. "I believe we have been in this situation before?"
"Yes although that wasn't actually on Christmas day was it?"
"No, this is better," Richard agreed as Thomas placed his hand on the centre of Richard's chest and kissed him gently on the lips a couple of times before Richard kissed him back.
Thomas stepped back. "I've got something for you." Thomas left Richard's embrace to go to a drawer in his desk that he kept locked and pulled out a small box. It hadn't been wrapped except for a delicate red ribbon tied in a bow around it. Thomas cleared a space on the desk and perched himself on the corner of the table, Richard sat close up next to him, following his lead. "I didn't know what to get you, so I thought I'd get you something that you would never forget. But before I give it to you, I need to say something first." Richard nodded. "Richard Ellis I love you. I think I loved you from the moment I saw you, when I was stressed out of my mind with you lot from the palace arriving. I had nothing really before you. I had friends but I didn't know what it meant to love and to be loved, without condition, in return. I never thought in a million years that I would ever find someone like you. You are perfect, and exactly what I needed, even if I didn't know it at the time. I love the way you smile at me when we wake up next to each other every morning. The way you trust me, even when I am being an idiot. I love the fact that you can look good wearing anything, even when you are all wet and covered in mud. I love how you make me feel when you kiss me." Thomas took a shaky breath. "I'm not sure if I am saying all this right, cause as I said, I've never done this before but I want you to have this as a symbol that I am yours, always and forever."
Richard's heart was full to bursting, listening to Thomas declare his feelings. He knew that Thomas loved him, of course he did but something was different now. He took the small box from Thomas and untied the ribbon and opened it. He had guessed before, but didn't really believe it until he saw what lay inside. A shiny gold ring, glinted in the dim lamplight of the room. Richard blinked holding off the moisture threatening to fall from his eyes. "Thomas I-"
"You like it?" Thomas asked nervously.
"I love it and everything you said before giving it to me," Richard hesitated. "It's just that I can hardly believe it."
"It's real. Allow me?" Thomas asked. He took the ring out the box and placed it on Richard's finger, the one that, if things were different, they would wear a wedding band on.
"You know, it is a good job we are so like minded Mr Barrow," Richard said, still looking in disbelief at what was on his finger. He never thought he'd see that. "You see I got you something too, as you know, it almost cost me Christmas with you, but I hope you won't mind now." Richard reached inside his jacket and pulled out a similar small blue box. Thomas felt his heart do a backflip. "You and me, Thomas. That's how it is isn't it? I would walk across the world if it meant that I could be with you just for a minute. But we found a home together. I may come across as someone who hasn't a care in the world, but it hasn't always been that way and I'm not sure I ever have been. I was, for years, lost. I was lonely, angry sometimes, deprived of love that only a man like you could give me. I wonder what it might have been like if we had met several years earlier, but I am happy to dismiss those thoughts as, what I have, with you, is perfection personified Thomas. Fate and a decision made by the King of England meant that I found you, and peace. I will, forever, be yours. Even if the world will never get to see it, you will always know it." Richard stopped talking and opened the box he was holding, "I'd ask you if you'd be mine, but I know that you already are." Thomas looked at the ring in the box, gold like the one he gave Richard. "Can I-?"
"Yes," Thomas said, answering both of Richard's questions at once, grinning like a fool, and holding out his hand as Richard pushed the ring onto his finger.
"So that just happened," Richard said.
"Almost married," Thomas added. "All we need now is a priest."
"No, we don't. We know what we have right here without someone else having to publicly declare it, " Richard said as he took Thomas's hand and kissed it.
…
Stephen stopped outside the barn that he and Daniel had agreed to meet in and put his hands to his mouth to help echo his owl call he was making. That was their signal they agreed on. He waited in the dark until he heard the same call come back at him. It was a good system, and had worked well since they had begun using it. Stephen reckoned it would only fail if an actual owl called back at him and not Daniel, but he didn't think his bird calls were that good. The moon shone out briefly between some fast moving clouds overhead, before disappearing again. Stephen smiled when he heard the owl call from the direction of the barn. No one seemed to use this place and the padlock was old and so, easy to remove. It was always possible that the barn would be used again one day but almost certainly not in the late evening on Christmas day. He opened the large wooden door and quietly slipped inside shutting it behind him. The barn was dark and there was no sign of Daniel which instantly put Stephen on edge and he thought about getting out of there as soon as he could, but then he saw a flash of lamp light from the hay loft above him at the opposite end of the barn. "Hello?" he called out.
"Up here," Daniel said, appearing at the top of the ladder with the lamp.
Stephen pocketed his torch and climbed halfway up. "Can you take this from me?" he said to Daniel who leant over the top of the ladder and took the bottle of wine from him.
"Fancy stuff," Daniel said, looking at the label. "Steal this from Downton did you?" He asked, though without any hint of judgement.
"Course not! Mr Barrow gave it to me," Stephen said as he climbed over the top of the ladder and onto the hay loft floor.
"Didn't think you did. Does he know you're here with me?"
"No, well he knows I'm out and I reckon he and Mr Ellis guessed I was coming to see you, but he doesn't know where," Stephen said.
"Mr Ellis is back then?," Daniel asked.
"Yeah, he walked eight miles in the snow to get to Downton in time for Christmas dinner. Well that's the official story but he obviously walked that far for Thomas," Stephen said following Daniel to the back of the loft where some hay bales had been arranged to create a small room. "Did you do all this?" he asked looking around.
"Had to make myself busy until you got away," Daniel said, lying down on the ground resting his arms behind his head. "It's quite comfy for what it is."
Stephen crawled over and laid down next to Daniel on his side so that he was facing him. "I've missed you," he said, pushing himself closer to Daniel.
"I saw you only this morning," Daniel said.
"But you were with your parents. So we had to be...different in front of them," Stephen said. His hand had found its way onto Daniel's hip and then up to the small of his back.
"Don't be different now, be you," Daniel said. He kissed Stephen first on the forehead and then on the lips.
"What did you tell your parents?" Stephen asked.
"Didn't tell them. I'm not a kid, didn't see why I should have to tell them I was going out, so I just left," Daniel said. He sighed. "I want to get my own place you know, so then we could meet in an actual building."
"Maybe in time, we will figure things out until then," Stephen said.
"You have more faith than I do Stephen," Daniel said, stroking the back of Stephen's golden hair. "Must be all those novels you read. It's made you a romantic."
"Do you mind?" Stephen asked, leaning on his elbow, looking down at Daniel.
Daniel grinned, "Not really. Not now." Stephen kissed Daniel tenderly at first then, as Daniel kissed him back, he felt things intensify between them and soon he was lying half on, half off Daniel. "How long can you stay?"
"Until just before midnight," Stephen answered.
"Well that's perfect then," Daniel said as he put an arm around Stephen's lower back, pulling him further down onto him.