A/N: Hello again everyone! A new chapter is here!

Before we get stared, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Anno1701, Guest, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!

I hope you all enjoy!

I stumbled into my apartment, unable to remember any of the drive home, and locked the door behind me with shaky hands. I stumbled down the hallway to my bathroom and turned the shower on as hot as I could stand it. My body had felt cold since I left Giovanni's office. I gasped as just the thought of his name burned through me like hot coal.

I stripped down and climbed into the shower, shivering as the heated water trickled over my trembling body. I stood there, replaying the scene at the restaurant in my mind and wondering what I could have done differently. I felt my legs give out beneath me and I sank to the floor of the shower as I remembered Giovanni's words to me.

"It's not worth it, you're not worth it."

I had lost the only man I had ever loved and there was nothing I could do about it. My body slumped as a pain like I had never thought possible ran through me, and the tears I had fought back since leaving the restaurant washed over me like a tsunami that I was powerless to stop. I let it pull me under.

XxX

I woke as someone shook me relentlessly and slapped my face rather hard.

"Stop!" I groaned and barely recognized the sound of my gravelly voice as I swatted whoever was there, trying to ward off their continued assault.

"Shane, wake up!" I heard a voice pleading and blinked my eyes, trying to clear my vision. Finally, James' face became clear to me. I stared up at him as he hovered over me, but I couldn't understand why he looked so panicked or why tears streaked down his cheeks.

"Whazz wrong?"

"Oh, thank God," James sobbed, leaning his head against my shoulder. "Come on, come with me." He said, continuing to speak in soothing tones as he lifted me to my feet. Why had I been on my kitchen floor?

"Whazz going on?" I slurred, swaying on my feet. James caught me under my arms as I started to fall over and walked me towards the bathroom.

"That's what I want to know," James fumed at me. "I've been trying to get a hold of you all day, but you weren't answering your phone. I called down to Russo's and they said they haven't seen or heard from you in two days! Then I got here and had to use my key to get in since you wouldn't answer the door, only to find you passed out on the kitchen floor with two empty bottles of vodka laying next to you. What the ever-loving fuck, Shane? I swear, I thought you were dead when I saw you. You aged me about ten years today." He finished his rant as he pulled me into the shower and then followed me in.

The terrible events of my last night at the restaurant came rushing back and I began to cry as the water ran over me. James wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close and rubbing a soothing hand in circles over my back.

"It'll be okay, everything will be okay," He chanted over and over like a mantra while I sobbed.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but eventually, James climbed out of the shower so I could strip down and wash, only after assuring him that I wasn't going to fall. When I was finished, I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel off the rack. I moved robotically as I dried off and then grabbed my toothbrush out of its holder. I squirted some toothpaste on it and then looked in the mirror.

Tears filled my eyes as I saw the faded mark on my neck and remembered that last day with Giovanni as he held me pressed against the wall, sucking on my neck passionately. I reached up and rubbed my fingers gently along the love bite. I had been so happy, feeling like I had finally broken through some of his walls and could reach him.

Had I just imagined the emotions, the tenderness I saw in his eyes as we made love that last morning? I just felt cold and lonely, an empty shell of who I had been. I swiped at the tears that dripped down my face when James knocked at the door.

"You okay, Shane?" he asked, his voice sounding muffled by the door.

I cleared my throat. "I'm fine, I'll be right out."

I came out of the bathroom and found a worried James propped up against the headboard of my bed with a quart of our favorite mint chocolate chip ice cream and two spoons in his hand. He smiled at me gently. "I laid some pajamas out for you." He gestured to the end of the bed.

"Thanks." I gave him a half attempt at a smile and quickly slid into my pajamas and climbed into bed.

I sat there with my brother, my best friend, and laid my head on his shoulder as he handed me a spoon.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not really," I said softly, but before I knew it, the words were pouring out of me. I brokenly told James everything, even the parts he already knew, starting with how Giovanni and I had met and how he made me feel, all the way through the horrible scene with Juliana at the restaurant. "So that's it, he's done with me. He said I wasn't worth the risk to his heart."

"Oh, Shane, I'm so sorry. I know how much you love him."

I was so grateful to have my brother here. Many people saw my twin as a player, a jokester, someone who never took like seriously, but I knew him better than anyone else on the planet. I knew that while he loved to joke around and have fun, he also felt things deeply which is what made him such an amazing musician. I also knew that if he loved someone, he would go through hell for them.

"Thanks for being here, Jay," I whispered.

"I'll always be here when you need me, you know that." And I did know. "How are you going to manage working with him now?" He looked at me carefully.

"I'm not." I heard the sadness in my voice.

"What do you mean? You love that job and you've worked your ass off to get an opportunity like that."

"Well, I doubt it matters now. Giovanni was worried about working with me after the first night we slept together. I'm sure he feels very justified in letting me go after all that's happened. Not to mention, I haven't called or shown up to work for the last two days. Maybe I should just go back to Europe." My heart clenched at the thought of leaving again, but I just didn't see how I could live in the same city as Giovanni and not be a part of his life.

James opened his mouth to argue, but seeing the tears filling my eyes, he closed it and helped me slide under the covers. He stayed with me as I cried until sleep finally took me.

XxX

I woke to sunlight streaming through my window and a headache that made my eyes water. I stumbled my way into the bathroom and found some aspirin, leaning my open mouth under the sink faucet to wash it down. I didn't bother to shower or shave before heading into the kitchen. There was no sign of James so I assumed he had left already.

I quickly made a cup of coffee and was just about to take a sip when I heard my phone ringing. I couldn't remember where I had left it and was surprised to see there was still any battery left. I finally located it in the pocket of my work pants that I had been wearing that night, but the call had ended by the time I got to it. The caller ID showed it had been Mom and I had four other missed calls and three voicemails from her, each sounding more worried than the last. Knowing that if I didn't call her back she would just show up at my apartment, I hurried to call her. As I wanted for her to answer someone knocked on my door. I looked through the peephole and slumped my shoulders, sighing loudly, and ended the call.

"There you are!" My mom swept past me and into my apartment. "Do you have any idea how worried I've been? Why aren't you answering your phone?" She looked at me in exasperation.

"I'm sorry, Mom, I didn't mean to worry you."

She studied me closely and I fought the urge to squirm under her scrutiny. "What's wrong? Somethings wrong. Did you and Giovanni break up?" She asked, seeing things in that psychic way that only someone who's your parent is able to.

"Well, we'd have to have actually been together to break up, wouldn't we?" I said with a bitter laugh.

"Oh, sweetie, what happened?" She moved into the kitchen, throwing her jacket on one of the chairs, and rummaged around in my cabinet until she found a mug. Pouring herself a cup of coffee, she grabbed some cookies from the cabinet and settled down at the kitchen table.

I sighed as I picked up my forgotten coffee off of the counter and slid into the chair across from her. "He just doesn't feel the same way about me that I feel about him." I felt the wound around my heart rip open again as I was forced to rehash the most painful night of my life.

"Now, I know you're wrong about that. I spent quite a bit of time with that young man while we were at the cabin and I saw the way he acted around you, the way he looked at you. Honey, that man is crazy about you."

"You don't understand, Mom. His ex-wife showed up at the restaurant-"

"Oh, so this has to do with that bitch, Juliana?" Mom spit out, rolling her eyes.

My head whipped up in surprise. I had never heard my mom speak badly about anyone else, much less use a curse word. "How do you know about Juliana?"

"Giovanni told me what happened while we were cooking together." She either didn't see or chose to ignore the shocked look on my face. Giovanni was an extremely private man and the fact that he had chosen to tell my mom about one of the most painful events of his past proved how comfortable he had felt with her.

"I could tell how guarded he had become over the years in order to protect himself and I have to admit, I was worried about him finding it hard to let you in."

"Yeah, I worried about the same thing," I muttered as tears filled my eyes. "I thought we had come so far, but then he saw Juliana and completely shut me out again. He doesn't want me anymore." I slumped in my chair miserably.

Mom got out of her chair and came around to drape herself over my shoulders. "Just because he's shut you out doesn't mean his feelings for you went away. I know these things because I'm a mother and we know everything."

I chuckled as I leaned my head against hers. "Thanks, Mom."

"He's scared, sweetie, give him some time and he'll come around." She kissed my cheek and stood, ruffling my hair lovingly. "I've got to go, I'm having the family over for dinner tonight, that's why I was trying to get in touch with you." She held up her hand waving off my protest. "I just wanted to invite you, but I understand if you don't want to be around anyone right now. Take some time for yourself, but promise me you'll call one of us if you need anything. You have a whole family that loves you, kiddo." I smiled gratefully at her as she returned the smile and walked out.

I sat there for a few minutes, mulling over my mom's words. I wished it could be as simple as she said and that given a little bit of time, Giovanni would come back to me, but I just couldn't see that happening. Unfortunately, I was going to have to learn to live without the other half of my heart.

XxX

I took Mom up on her offer to stay home that night. I loved my family and knew they meant well, but I was too emotionally drained to talk about what had happened again. Instead, I pulled on a soft pair of sweats and a worn old t-shirt and sat on the couch with my fourth beer in my hand, listening to sad songs on the radio. I'm not sure anyone understood heartache like Adele. I took a long pull of beer as another song started. I knew I wouldn't be able to continue drinking my troubles away, but I figured I deserved one more night of wallowing before I would have to look into finding a new job. It broke my heart to think of never working with Marco again or seeing Ashley's happy smile, but the thought of facing Giovanni and seeing nothing but cold indifference on his face caused a stabbing pain up under my ribcage.

I rubbed at the pain in my chest absentmindedly as I took another drink. I set my drink down when I heard my phone ringing from its charger in the other room. I walked in there slowly, expecting it to be James checking up on me again, and was surprised when the screen showed it was Ashley.

Illogical fear rushed through me as I pictured her calling to say something bad had happened to Giovanni and I swiped the screen quickly, answering the call.

"Ashley? Is everything all right?"

"I could ask you the same thing," she snapped. "How dare you walk out without even a phone call to let us know you're alive."

"You know why I had to leave." I wandered back into the living room and settled into the couch, pulling a blanket over my lap to ward off the constant chill that seemed to have set up residence in my body ever since that night.

I heard her sigh and when she spoke to her voice was gentler. "I know how shitty everything turned out that night, and I know you're both hurting-"

"Both of us?" I interrupted snidely. "No Ashley, I'm hurting, I'm the one who put his heart on the line only to get it stomped on. I'm the one who's sitting at home drinking, while he's probably out at the clubs banging every guy he can find." My voice cut off and a sob tore from my chest at the painful images my words had conjured up.

"Is that what you really think? Let me tell you something, Shane, I have never seen G happier than he's been since you started working at the restaurant and I have never seen him more devastated than when he left here that night. He finally got the answers he'd been craving for three years as to why Juliana left, only to find out that she had betrayed him in the worst way. Not to mention how she, and that asshat she was with, cut him down and tried to make him feel small. He's scared and he's hurt and when that happens, sometimes we lash out at those closest to us. In this case, unfortunately, that would be you. You are very important to him, Shane. Not that he hasn't made it miserable for the rest of us to work with him. He's closed himself off in his office every night since and just comes out long enough to bark orders at us, then stomps back in and slams his door. That's why I took tonight off, I had to get out of there or lose my mind." She ended her dramatic rant with a chuckle.

"Thank you, Ashley," I whispered around the lump in my throat.

"I didn't say all that just to make you feel better, I said it because it's the truth. Now, I have something else to say and you better listen." I found myself sitting up straighter at her firm tone. "We're a family at Russo's and that includes you, too. Just because we get upset with one person, doesn't mean we get to walk away from everyone else, you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes, ma'am." I felt a small smile tugging at my lips as I answered her. She'd make a hell of a mother someday.

"Good, now one other thing. I was calling to make sure you were still coming to my wedding, and I'm sure," she added dramatically. "After the talk we just had about being family and not walking away from each other, you wouldn't plan on not showing up for the biggest day of my life. Right?"

I felt a laugh bubble up from my throat. "I wouldn't dream of it, I'll be there."

"Yay! Thank you, Shane!" I heard her kissing me through the phone. "Oh, one more thing. For God's sake, turn off Adele, that woman is so depressing," she ordered before hanging up.

I looked at the phone in my hand as her words ran through my head. While I should have been angry Giovanni had hurt me, it hurt me more to know that he was in pain. Ashley was right though, she was my friend and I should be there to celebrate her happy day. So, I would go to the wedding to support Ashley, but it just might kill me to see Giovanni again.

After I spewed my hateful words at Shane, wounding the gentle man who deserved none of my wrath, I stormed out of Russo's and let the door slam behind me. I climbed into my car and sat there, unmoving as my head spun. How could things have changed so fast in such a short amount of time? When I had woken up that morning, I had felt so happy and for the first time in a long time, I was full of hope. After hurting Shane, I felt nothing but pain and a bone-chilling loneliness.

I had almost convinced myself that I would never see Juliana again and I had gotten to a point where the clawing need to find out why she had left was almost completely gone. I had come so close to throwing caution to the wind and opening myself up to a relationship with Shane, but seeing Juliana again reminded me of all the reasons I needed to protect my heart. I still had no idea what I had did to push my wife into the arms of another man, but obviously I wasn't giving her something she needed, so what made me think things would be any different with Shane? Eventually, I would fail him too and he'd leave me for some other guy. I had barely survived Juliana leaving, losing a wonderful guy like Shane would surely kill me.

I rubbed at the ache in my chest as I pictured the devastated look on Shane's face when I told him he wasn't worth it. I heard the lie as it left my mouth, but I was so caught up in my own pain that I was powerless to stop it. The truth was, I wasn't worth it. Shane was a wonderful person and he deserved someone who wasn't broken, someone who knew how to be in a relationship without fucking everything up.

I swiped angrily at the tears streaming down my face and started my car. I needed to get out of here before a well-meaning Ashley or Marco decided to come out and check on me. I knew they had heard everything and I couldn't face the disappointed look in their eyes again tonight. I just wanted to go home, curl up in my bed, and shut out the rest of the world.

I had just put Roxie in reverse when my phone rang. Swiping at it blindly, I answered.

"Giovani? Are you okay, man? You don't sound so good."

"Micah?" I choked out. My throat closed up around a knot of emotion at the sound of my best friend's voice. I suddenly didn't want to be alone tonight

"Where are you at, buddy? I'll come get you." It amazed me that he could tell what I needed by just hearing my voice.

"I'm in the parking lot at Russo's," I managed to choke out.

"You hang tight, I'll be right there." Micah hung up the phone and I turned the car off. I sat there in the dark, watching as the rain that had been a drizzle soon became a downpour, drowning out the sounds of my sobs in the otherwise quiet car. Everything in me hurt and I wanted to numb the pain.

When Micah pulled up next to me about five minutes later, I sprinted to his Jeep, quickly folding myself into the passenger seat. He looked at me with concern as I shivered next to him. "Can we go somewhere to get a drink?" I knew he had to have a million questions, but after seeing the pain in my eyes, he simply nodded and pulled out of the parking lot. A few minutes later, Micah parked in the lot of a rundown looking bar and locked his Jeep as we climbed out. The rain had stopped, leaving the blacktop of the parking lot inky and slick from the oils on its surface.

We walked into the bar and Micah told me to go take a seat while he got us some drinks. I found an empty table towards the back of the dark bar and sat down. I had never been here before and I looked around, noticing the antique beer advertising signs hanging on the walls. An old-time jukebox that was belting out an Eagles classic stood near a small, makeshift dance floor where several couples were swaying together. I assumed it was a gay bar because I had yet to see a woman as I glanced around the room.

My eyes snagged on a man across the room from me. He wore a tight pair of blue jeans and a black t-shirt that was stretched thin across his chest. It was hard to tell how tall he was because he was leaning back along the edge of a pool table with a cue stick in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other. He stared at me as he brought the beer to his lips and took a long pull from it. My cock twitched in my pants at the sight of his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he swallowed and I pictured how good those lips would look wrapped around my dick.

My heart squeezed painfully as an image of Shane's face popped into my mind unbidden, but I brushed it off as I reminded myself that it was for the best if I just stuck with random hookups. I couldn't afford to have more emotional attachments in my life. The man smiled at me seductively just as Micah walked over to our table and sat down.

"They're bringing the drinks right over." I nodded at him, but avoided his gaze as he sat there staring at me. Even as kids, Micah had always won every staring contest we had. He had more patience than anyone I knew and could sit patiently until his opponent caved. He knew if he waited long enough, I would eventually tell him what was wrong when I was ready. Tonight he only had to wait until the waiter brought over a tray with two shot glasses, a bowl of lime wedges, a salt shaker, and a bottle of tequila. I quirked my eyebrow at him questioningly.

Micah smirked at me and shrugged his shoulders. "You sounded like you needed something a little stronger than beer tonight."

"Good call. Thanks for coming to get me." My voice sounded scratchy from crying and I quickly did a shot of tequila and then another, wanting to numb the pain that threatened to overwhelm me once again.

"Always," Micah answered simply as he did his own shot before setting the glass down gently on the table and folded his arms across his chest, waiting for me to talk.

"I saw Juliana." I quickly downed another shot and let the warmth of the tequila spread through my body.

Micah's usually unshakable demeanor vanished as his eyes grew wide with shock. "What? Where? Did you talk to her?"

I kicked back my fourth shot of tequila, not bothering with the lime or salt, and enjoyed the burn from the drink as it slid down my throat. I set my glass back down and slouched back in my chair before telling him what had happened. Micah's jaw clenched and he made his hands into fists when he heard the pain in my voice as I told him about the year-long affair she had been having with Miles during our marriage.

"Damn, I'm sorry I missed that." Micah got a gleeful look on his face when I told him how Shane was kicking them out when I left the room. "Who knew the guy was such a spitfire?" Pain burned through my chest as I pictured how I'd hurt Shane. Micah quickly quit laughing when he noticed my pinched expression. "Why do you still look upset if Juliana just proved what an evil bitch she is and the guy you're crazy about stood up for you? And why isn't Shane here with you? What am I missing?"

"Because...we ended it. I ended it," I corrected.

Looking annoyed, Micah frowned at me. "Talk."

"I've known since the day Juliana left me that I should never be in a relationship ever again. I spent years wondering what I did wrong to make her leave with no explanation and now I know. I wasn't good enough. She needed someone better." I ended the last bit on a slur and was grateful that the alcohol had numbed the burning pain in my chest.

I glanced over at Micah and if I didn't know that he would gladly kill anyone who hurt me, I would have been afraid of the fierce scowl on his face as he glared back at me. "Is that all you got out of that shit? Because what I heard was that the woman you married finally showed what a miserable, cheating bitch she always was and that she never deserved your faithfulness. You're lucky she left when she did and you haven't had to stay married to her for the last three years. Besides that, you're the best man I know. Much better than she deserved." I poured another drink, but Micah put his hand over mine to stop me before I could drink it. "What happened with Shane?" he asked gently.

"I told him I didn't want to be in a relationship and that it wasn't worth the pain. I told him he wasn't worth it," I whispered, shame evident in my voice.

"G…" Micah shook his head.

"You don't understand, Shane is the type of guy who was made for relationships. He's honest and faithful and so damn kind and loving. He should find someone who can love him back as fiercely as he loves them." I pleaded with Micah to understand.

"And what about you? What do you deserve?"

"I deserve some fun." I stood and quickly drank down another shot before sauntering over to the sexy man at the pool table, ignoring Micah's pleas for me not to do something I would regret.

Done! So...yeah, this chapter dealt with the fallout of last chapter.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!

Again, I hope that you all enjoyed and that you all had a Happy Thanksgiving! I can't express enough how grateful I am for all of you. :)

The next chapter will pick up where this one left off and will be up next week.

Until then!

-Epically Obsessed