Throne of Cards 11 – Chocolate and Checkpoints

Thayvian courting is a complicated process, traditionally made easier by fine diplomacy, honest intentions and the appropriate protective spells and armor. When it comes to the nearest and dearest, you may also want to add a few prayers to the deity of your choice.

Excerpt from 'Ruminations Of A Master Bard'

"More cake?" Poppy pleasantly asked. "That blueberry one is really good, if you ask me. More hot chocolate?"

Zaerini was sorely tempted, the cake looked delicious, but she rather suspected that she might burst if she had anything else to eat right now. She chose to look around instead, while the peculiar little Halfling sipped at her hot chocolate, seemingly deep in thought. The tea- and coffeehouse Poppy had escorted her and her friends to was definitely improving her first impression of Thay. Once they had emerged from the drab backstreets of the slums, she'd started seeing more and more shops, and elegantly dressed people. This place now…it was definitely something else. It seemed to cater mostly to children, extravagantly wealthy children at that. The waiters all seemed to be either humanoid animals walking on two legs, or else dressed up like fairies or goblins. The costumes weren't cheap either, in fact in the case of the animals she thought she could just glimpse the edges of a very sophisticated illusion spell rather than a furry suit. Certainly the tails and whiskers twitched in a very realistic manner. The food and drink had materialized on their table by another spell, a mere few minutes after Poppy had placed her order, and there was music playing, cheerful and bouncy music played by invisible hands. It was quite good, really. Edwin had picked at his food, but Imoen had tucked in with obvious pleasure, earning a quick grin of approval from the Halfling woman.

"Thank you, Aunt Poppy," Edwin said, in such a polite manner that Rini had to turn her head to make sure it really was him who'd spoken. "But I'm afraid I have little appetite for food. It has been a…a trying time."

"Aww, it's fine," Poppy said, patting him reassuringly on the hand. "Let's hear about it, then."

"Are you sure it's safe to speak here?" Rini asked, looking around. There were children everywhere. Singing, shouting, running, dancing, chattering, giggling, crying and in the case of one unfortunate toddler, puking. The adults with them all sported the grim pallor of one staring death in the face and trying to be brave about it.

"Oh sure," Poppy said. "All the kiddies here make sure nobody will hear a thing we say. That's the reason I picked this place." She smiled again. "That, and the cake. Little Eddie-kins used to love to come here when he was much shorter than he is now. He once set fire to a fairy princess and they banned him from the premises, but I bet they won't recognize him with the beard."

"…I was trying to teach myself to breathe fire," Edwin muttered, his cheeks going dark red. "It was an accident waiting to happen, with those gauzy wings."

"Right," Rini said, very carefully not laughing. "I can see that."

"Anyway," Edwin hurriedly said, "I'm afraid I have the direst news, Aunt Poppy. It is a long and complicated story, so I must summarize it." He proceeded to do so, with Rini and Imoen adding their own input from time to time. "…and then we came here," He finally ended.

Poppy sat quiet for a moment, thoughtfully chewing at the end of a brown pigtail "Wow," She finally said. Then she nodded to herself, her eyes sparkling. "So, I was right after all about the two of you," She said. "I always thought as much. Dekkie, you naughty boy, you should have told me. You should have known you could trust me."

"I'm certain he did…does," Edwin said. His hands trembled slightly as they rested on the pristine white tablecloth. "But after all, he didn't even tell me the truth of our relation until just recently."

"And isn't that just typical of him? Well, better late than never."

"Aunt Poppy, I'm not sure if I made myself entirely clear to you. He is…he…"

"…is in terrible trouble. Yup. I got it." Poppy gave Edwin a compassionate look. "He's my Best Friend, Eddie-kins. I've known him since we were both this tall. I'd do anything for him. So, you know I care, it's just that I've had more time to get used to this sort of thing than you have. We'll fix this, just you wait and see."

"But what if…"

"…if it's too late?" Poppy's twinkling brown eyes suddenly turned icy cold. "Then I guess I'll go and paint a few streets red with the people who're to blame. Got a brush handy? No? That's fine, their scalps should work just fine."

Rini blinked. The transformation had been so sudden, and slightly unnerving. Poppy must have noticed her look, for she was smiling again, an impish look in her eyes.

"I am in the same profession Dekkie is, you know," She said. "We've just got differences in technique, that's all."

"Aunt Poppy prefers subterfuge," Edwin said with a fond smile. "She's very good at it."

"Aw, you flatterer!" Poppy nodded. "It's pretty handy to be small sometimes," She said. "I can usually get away with pretending to be a human child. It lets me get closer to people, you see. Lots closer."

"Is it true you once got yourself adopted by a target?" Edwin asked with a certain amount of curiosity.

"Yup! That's why they call me The Orphan, see. That one was fond of little children. Really fond, if you see what I mean." Poppy took another sip from her cup of hot chocolate and proceeded to lick off a mustache of whipped cream. "Yum. Where was I? Right. He wanted to 'read me a bedtime story'. Said he had a nice surprise for me." She smiled sweetly. "I had a surprise for him too."

"So…is that why you wear pigtails?" Imoen asked in a fascinated voice.

"Nope, I just like them. They do help though."

"We definitely can use any help you can give us," Rini said. "Right now, we're trying to find out exactly where Vadrak disappeared from, and I bet you've got contacts who could help with that."

"Do I ever," Poppy said with a nod. "I know lots of nice people. Some not-so-nice ones too. I'll talk to them. "

"Finding out if he made it across the border to Thay would be a nice start. If he didn't, we'll go further back along the trail. In the meantime, I think we should try to find out just what's been going on around here. That letter about Edwin's mother was so very convenient, wasn't it?"

Edwin nodded. "It seemed genuine enough at the time," He said. "But now I wonder…Aunt Poppy, do you have any news about Mother? The letter claimed she'd been taken into custody, falsely accused."

Poppy pursed her lips in thought. "I don't go Uptown much, Eddie, unless I'm working. And since neither Dekkie nor you were home, I wasn't paying much attention. Still, I did hear that Galen Odesseiron had disappeared, and that there was a lot of fuss among the Red Ones. I was out of town right when that happened, and I haven't been back long, so afraid I can't say what's true or not about your Ma. I think maybe you'd better go see for yourself."

"Yes," Edwin said with a nod. "While Mother is admirably suited to dealing with most political problems, I must admit I've been worried about her as well. She may not be in mortal danger, but even so I want to find out the truth and give what aid I can."

"Of course," Rini said, planting a quick kiss on his cheek and squeezing his hand. "We can go there right now, if you like." She turned her head to see Poppy beaming at her.

"Awww…" The Halfling said. She was leaning her chin in her hands and her eyes were twinkling again as she watched them. "Cute, cute, cuuuute! You really care about him, I can tell. It makes me really, really happy, because I like you and I'd hate to have to kill you for smushing his heart into itty bitty little red and dripping pieces."

"Er…thanks," Rini said. "I…"

"Dibs on being the ring bearer! I've never done that, but I bet it's fun. I'll bear it wherever you like. Any especial ring you'd like? I could find one for you, how about a magic one? You wouldn't need to pay a single gold piece either, not with me doing the shopping."

"Aunt Poppy!" Edwin protested. "I haven't even asked…I mean I…not yet that is, even if possibly…we….unless she…" He broke off into incoherent stutters and his cheeks once again turned bright red. Zaerini felt her own face growing rather hot and she had to suppress a nervous giggle.

"You haven't?!" Poppy said, her eyes very round. "Well hurry up about it then! You're old enough even without that funny little beard, and you like her, so what're you waiting for?" She hopped down from her chair and waved at the three startled humans. "I'd better be off, and same goes for you. See you later! Remember what I said about me being the ring bearer, Eddie-kins." She patted the wizard on the knee and then headed out the door, humming to herself.

"So," Imoen said with a sly smile as she looked from the wizard to the bard. "Anything you're dying to ask my big sister….Eddie-kins?"

"Gah!" Edwin exclaimed covering his face with his palm. "Interfering…little…let's head out shall we, time is a wasting. (And my beard is not 'funny', it is stylish and overwhelmingly masculine.)"

"Right," Rini hurriedly agreed, hooking her arm under her lover's. "Let's go to your place." She smiled at him. "And I agree about the beard, you know." His answering smile, as it frequently did, made her knees feel weak and watery, and it was entirely worth it.

As they progressed through the streets of Pyarados, Rini noticed a gradual change. The streets sloped gently upwards, and she thought she could also detect a spiral pattern to them, leading inwards. The further uphill they got, the more imposing were the houses lining the streets and the more finely dressed were the people. Craftsmen and traders had now given way to nobles dripping with jewels, priests in rich silk robes and yes, now and then a Red Wizard. Edwin had pulled his hood down, and she noticed that he walked just a little bit faster whenever they passed one of the wizards. None of them seemed to pay any particular attention to the trio, however. And now they were past the fascinating shop windows were magical treasures beckoned and heading into quiet streets where high walls kept all intruders out. Beyond them she could glimpse the towering columns and shining roofs of what amounted to small castles. It was getting dark by now, and the mild air carried with it a heady scent of flowers.

"At last," Edwin said as he stopped before a towering black iron gate. The wall it was set into was very smooth, Zaerini noticed. She reached out an experimental finger and found it was as slick as glass. There seemed to be spikes on top of it, and barbed wire curling between the spikes.

Edwin rapped smartly on the gate with a knocker shaped like a fivepointed star. The knocker shuddered briefly, and a burning red eye opened in the center of the star. "Who seeks entry into House Odesseiron?" A flat, tinny voice said. There was no obvious mouth in sight, but it definitely came from the knocker.

"It is I, Zoog," Edwin said with a slightly exasperated sigh. "Edwin Odesseiron. You know me, and very well you should, I might add."

"Zoog?" Rini mouthed.

"I got to name him," Edwin explained, not taking his eyes off the knocker. "I wasn't all that old at the time, if you must know. I'm afraid that while he is a very good gatekeeper, Father did perhaps imprint him to be just slightly too paranoid."

"I can hear you; you know!" Zoog said with a huff. "And you could be an intruder in disguise. Prove yourself!"

"Now listen here, you aggravating cyclopean piece of scrap metal! Let me in right now, or…"

"Ahem. Specifications on enchanted door defense system, model 6333, sub-system Elder Sign Delta. Cannot be melted, crushed, incinerated, cut, bruised, pulverized, dislodged, coerced, bribed, seduced, corroded or polymorphed. Foolproof against anything up to divine intervention. So nyah."

"Hellkitten?" Edwin said, giving Rini a pleading look. "Could you maybe…" He made a wiggling gesture with his fingers which bore a vague resemblance to cat ears, and then nodded at the doorknocker.

"You want me to turn into the Slayer to break down the door to your family home? Are you sure that's such a good idea, Eddie? I'd like to make a good first impression on your mother, if possible. Besides, I'm not a god, exactly. I don't even know if it'd work."

"Anyways, it may not be necessary," Imoen chipped in. "Hey, doorbell!"

"My name is Zoog!"

"Right, Zoog. We're looking for the lady of the house. Is she at home?"

The doorknocker sniffed, a haughty and metallic little noise. "Lady Odesseiron is not at home," It said. "Nor is Lord Galen Odesseiron. Nor is young Master Edwin Odesseiron."

"I know I'm not at home, you demented dimbulb of a doorknocker! I'm standing RIGHT HERE, getting gradually older as you make me waste precious time with trifles!"

The doorknocker blinked. "Young Master Edwin?" It said. "Why, why didn't you simply say so?"

"Gah! I did, just now! So, can I come in?"

"No," Zoog said, and there was a definite smirk in the tinny voice now. "Not unless you prove your identity. No bypassing of the security checks, no matter what the excuse, Master Dekaras was most particular about that as he programmed me."

Edwin said a few choice words about certain infuriating particularities of Master Dekaras, but he finally rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Very well, if we must go through this charade every single time, then have it your way." He leaned closer to the doorknocker and stared into the red eye. There was a clicking, whirring noise.

"Retinal scan complete," Zoog said. "Now, the other one."

"Oh, honestly…"

"Somebody might have cut out the eye of the real Edwin Odesseiron and brought it along. The other eye, if you please. Good. Now fingerprints. Very good. Voice record matches. Now the personal password."

"Er…what was it again…it's been so long…(And of course he made me reset it just before I left too.)"

"You have thirty seconds before a full reset of security clearance," Zoog cheerfully said. "No rush."

"Wait! I remember. It's…er…"

"Would you like a hint question? Too bad, you can't have one. Twenty seconds and ticking."

"It's 'Mr Bobo's Big Adventure'," Edwin said, grinding his teeth. "And we are done, yes?"

"Almost. Just the randomized personal question left. Master Dekaras insisted on heightened security levels while he is away. Ahem. What was Edwin Odesseiron told to repeat on the evening of his sixth birthday?"

Edwin sighed. "Umbrellas don't fly without the proper thaumaturgical preparations", He said, glaring daggers at Zoog. "100 times, I might add. (Remind me why I was so eager to rescue him again?)"

"Why, if it isn't young Master Edwin! Welcome home young Master, welcome home!"

The giant gate swung open without a single creak or clang, as noiselessly as a sliding shadow. Edwin hurriedly stepped inside, with Rini and Imoen trailing after him. The garden they found themselves in was vast, Rini could tell that much even if it was quite dark by now. Heavy branches above would provide shade against the sun, white flowers trembled as she walked past, opening glittering petals radiating a pale light, and somewhere in the distance she could hear the sound of tinkling water. Wow. It's nearly the size of Candlekeep. Just look at that. A vast building loomed before her, a black shape against the night sky. All the many windows were dark and silent, watching impassively between soaring columns reaching towards a glittering roof.

"We'll have a quick look around," Edwin said in a quiet voice as he followed the perfectly straight and neatly raked gravel path towards the main entrance. "Even if Mother isn't here, she may have left word." He stepped up to the towering double doors, where there was a perfectly regular door knocker, and didn't knock on it. Instead he lightly tapped the doorpost in a rhythmical pattern and waited until a soft click and a whirring noise sounded from behind the door before proceeding to unlock the door with a complex looking key he fished out from a hidden pocket. "Very good," He said. "And now, since it is night and the extra security systems will be turned on…" He took a step to the left and tapped the other doorpost as well, once again hitting what seemed to be entirely ordinary spots. "And three up, five down…there." There was another click and a faintly grinding noise from behind the door. "We can enter now."

"What would have happened if we'd entered sooner?" Imoen asked as he pulled the door open.

"The servants would have been very put out about the extra cleaning required, I'm sure. Now then. Lights!" Edwin made a brief gesture, and Rini could feel a quick surge of magic, one which gave her the impression of an ingrained, commonplace trigger spell. Then she was blinking as the room she was standing in was flooded with a warm, welcoming light as candles in the sconces along the walls flared to life. And what a room it was! It was a vast marble hall, dominated by a sweeping double staircase, with railings so wide she felt an immediate and irresistible urge to slide down them. On either side of the staircase there stood a life-size statue of a Red Wizard – presumably Odesseiron ancestors. They were glancing at the main entrance, offering a haughty look to any who might enter. The ceiling far above them was entirely covered with a beautiful painting portraying a flock of dragons soaring against a sky filled with dark thunderclouds. They looked so lifelike that she half expected to feel the heat of the fire at any moment, or to hear the crash of thunder. Doorways led off into several directions, hiding who knew what wonders behind them.

"So…where do we go?" Rini whispered. It was entirely quiet, apart from the click of their feet against the shining white marble floor. "Upstairs? Downstairs?"

"Ah, yes, let me think. I believe the best course of action would be to…"

"Edwin Mordred Alexander Odesseiron! What in the world do you think you are doing, creeping around the house in the middle of the night like this in the company of strangers, long past your bedtime?! Why, if you hadn't spoken right now, I might have mistook you for an intruder, and melted the flesh clear off your bones, and then where would we have been? Well, what have you got to say for yourself?"

Edwin slowly turned around; his face suddenly very pale. "M-Mother? Is that you?"