This is THE chapter. The chapter where the Potters stop fooling around and get to the real business. The chapter where Dumbledore stops spending his life sucking lemon drops and singing bad school songs and gets to work. The chapter where Hermione and Draco stop being pushed aside by Ron and confess their feelings. Enjoy!

"So we're gonna expose Dumbledore, in court, in front of Fudge and others, write creepy messages on walls to freak Hogwarts students out, put giant neon signs above the Dursley's house saying, 'THEY'RE RELATED TO ABNORMAL WIZARDS!', and transfer all the money Molly swindled from us back to our vault, leaving her poor, but protect the twins, Arthur Weasley, and Bill, Charlie and Percy from their mum's fury?"

Harry nodded his head. 'Exactly!"

"Sounds absolutely great. What we gonna do first?'

'Neon signs above all, creepy message literature, expose Dumbledore, and then nab our gold back."

"Nice!"

Hermione, who was watching the three talk about their plan, rolled her eyes. "Really guys? Giant neon signs above the Dursley house? Is that the best you can come with?"

Harry looked affronted. "Of course."

Hermione rolled her eyes again. "Well I have a better idea." The Potters groaned.

"Is it gonna be like 'Well we can solve this using talking and facts.' Hope said, adopting a high, squeaky voice.

Now Hermione looked affronted. "I was gonna say to cover their house in pink slime."

Harry's eyes widened. "Great idea!"

After a long time of making oodles of pink slime and making huge neon lights, they were ready. They called their brooms and flew over to Privet Drive. Hermione wrinkled her nose in distaste. Hazel and Hope knew that Harry's house was very similar to their home, as they had bee told as such. But Harry's friend didn't much know about the place. She hated the perfect looking, swirly trees in the trimmed lawns and the flowers lined up in rows one inch apart in every single garden. The houses were all stark white with bright red shingled roofs and red doors with bronze knockers. Boxes filled with flowers were put on the windowsills, and there were perfect flowery pink curtains in everyone. She much preferred her own house, with its chaotic interior and wild exterior. At least it was comfy.

The Dursleys were out, evident by the absence of Vernon's Vauxhall Vectra that usually was parked in the paved driveway. They tiptoed inside, avoiding being caught in Mrs. Smith-Next-Door's beady gaze with the use of a simple Disillusioning charm. Inside, it was much the same since when Harry had left. The granite countertops were polished to within a inch of their life, and the wooden floor had not a speck of dust on it. The overstuffed gold and brown sofas were unstained, and the TV above the brick fireplace was shining. Harry went to the cupboard under the stairs and opened it.

"Well, they didn't change that either." He deadpanned, seeing the same flimsy cot and narrow shelves. Hazel rolled her eyes.

"We all just lived the same life in different houses, didn't we?" Harry nodded.

Upstairs, it was the same. Dudley's bedroom was clearly showing signs of overindulgence. He had his own TV, a huge bed, and a table with all the burgers in the world crammed onto it. Vernon and Petunia's bedroom had a leaf print wallpaper and a king-size bed, a oak nightstand with a lamp on it at the side. The bathroom was positively sparkling, so much that it was blinding, and Harry's old bedroom seemed to have been untouched. The Dursley's must be afraid of touching his stuff for fear it would give them freakishness.

They got to work, deftly covering everything with a layer of slime. Spells had been put on it to make it last for a year. The cupboard was spelled to spit out its contents whenever anything was put in, ad the stove was made to burn all who tried to use it. Giant neon signs were plopped on top, saying 'THEY'RE RELATED TO ABNORMAL WIZARDS,' so by the time the Dursleys got home, the neighbors would've seen the signs and been put off the walrus-whiskered man, horsey faced woman, and elephant-bodied boy living there.

"Now we wait," Hermione whispered, grinning evilly, "for them to get back."

They didn't have to wait long, as five minutes after their work was done, the Dursleys had arrived back to their very slimy house.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" That was Aunt Petunia shrieking loudly and then promptly fainting.

"Who did this to us!" That was Uncle Vernon's indignant yell.

"They stole my chocolate!" That was Dudley's loud bawl, as he'd already tore inside the house, checked the fridge, and noted the absence of his many bars of coconut chocolate. Nobody heard the hysterical laughs coming from the perfect pruned bush under the clipped oak trees.

Then it was time to freak out Hogwarts. They didn't sneak into the castle, as they were sure to get found out by snoopy students looking for a quicker way to get to Charms class. Instead, they decided to make use of an ancient spell, which allowed you to write on faraway things by penning the same on a piece of paper that was magically connected to the object. Hope dug papers out of the cellar, ad Harry linked each paper to a wall in Hogwarts. Now it was the good bit: thinking of freaky messages to write. Draco came up with some good suggestions, as did Hazel.

"What about writing 'WE WILL BE BACK…'?"

"Or 'WE WILL GET REVENGE…'?"

"Could we write 'WE WILL HIT RON WEASLEY ON THE HEAD WITH A ROCK….'?"

They wrote all of those(except the last one)on the stone-brick walls of the faraway castle. Hogwarts students were in for a bad time.

Dumbledore flopped down on the cushy armchair in his office with an exhausted sigh. Very peculiar things had been happening in the castle. Very peculiar things indeed. For a start, there were the writings on the walls. Miss Edgecombe had apparently just been strolling around the castle(though he suspected that she was actually going to the Gryffindor boys' dorm to meet with her boyfriend)when she'd seen a message, written in blood red ink, suddenly appear on the wall in front of her. The girl had fainted on the spot, found a while later by her friend for life, Miss Cho Chang, who'd spotted the inscription and immediately notified the teachers prowling along the school. It was now known that there were many other such writings round the castle, appearing on walls, tapestries, and one time, even on Professor Binn's classroom blackboard. It had provided a ready escape from the ghost's droning lecture on the goblin wars, he'd been told.

But he wasn't to be deterred from his goal-find Harry Potter. He'd narrowed down where Harry could be staying to roughly two hundred locations-now was the hard bit. Making a people locator. Only a few knew how to make these; luckily, his father, Percival, had been one of those few and had taught Albus how to craft these. However, time had taken its toll, and his mind was now foggy. There were books on the subject, but they were incredibly hard to find. So, he'd have to try and recall the exact details of what his father had said to him, 100 years ago.

He was going to have to buy some more lemon drops.