I did end up falling asleep. And my dreams were actually nightmares. Well, not so much the first one. That was about Magnus.

I was in Magnus's apartment again, sitting on his couch. Magnus was sitting next to me, smiling. He held a glass with some kind of cocktail in one hand, and his other hand was on my shoulder.

"I'm so delighted to be spending time with you," Magnus whispered.

"Yeah," I replied. I leaned forward and kissed him quickly. Magnus smiled even wider, setting his glass down.

"Alexander," he said, "I am so glad I met you."

"So what?" I asked. "You could have just dated someone else."

"But there was no one else. I haven't felt anything for anyone in a long time. You were the first one."

The dream shifted.

Magnus was gone. I was still on his couch, but I couldn't find Magnus. Flames shot from my hands in panic, lines of fire surrounding me. I was sitting in the middle of an inferno, and I couldn't control it. I tried to stop it, but I couldn't. Although some part of me wanted the world to burn, for everything to go up in flames.

And then I heard screams. Screams I recognized.

Magnus's. My parents. My siblings. Even the Shadowhunters were included in the cacophony. I tried to stop the fire, to save them, but their screams rose even higher. By the time I managed to stop the fire, I had lost control of it.

Everyone was dead by the time I could save them.

I woke in the cot, sitting up urgently. Breathing hard, it took me a few seconds to realize that everything was fine. I was fine. My siblings were fine, and everything was fine. No one was dead. I didn't know about Magnus, or my parents, but I told myself they were fine.

"It was just a dream," I whispered to myself. "It didn't happen."

I got up, and walked over to the one actual bed in the room. Isabelle and Max were curled up next to each other on it, sleeping. They were so tired, they hadn't had a chance to grab a blanket. I grabbed one for them, pulling it over their sleeping bodies. I smiled wearily, and knew I wasn't going to fall back asleep for a while.

I started to wander around the Institute, hoping to God I wouldn't get lost. I tried to remember where I was from the paintings on the walls, and any other landmarks. Like the stained glass portrait of an angel rising out of a lake, holding a sword in one hand and a cup in the other. The Shadowhunters really seemed to like that image.

Magnus haunted my mind. I could still feel his kiss on my lips, even though it had been hours. He had been so gentle, but I didn't just want that. I wanted more from Magnus. I wanted more of him, all of him. I wanted his hands and lips all over me.

But with Jace's derisive comments on Downworlders, and the way everyone else seemed scared of leaving me alone with Magnus, I had a feeling most Shadowhunters didn't like warlocks. Or any Downworlder, for that matter.

I was so lonely. But Magnus made me feel like I could be accept by other people, that I could be loved. Even though I'd only seen him twice, I was undoubtedly attracted to him.

I was broken from my trance by Layla, who tapped my shoulder from behind. I jumped, and she laughed.

"What are you doing at this hour of the night?" she asked.

"Couldn't sleep," I told her, turning around. "I'm guessing you had the same issue."

"Yeah," Layla admitted. "You know, I've known Valentine is out there my whole life. I've lived with the knowledge my angelic powers will kick in one day. But I didn't realize the situation was this dire . . . at least, not since you showed up."

"Yeah, people say that when I show up, things change," I said. "But did you know I existed before all this stuff happened? If my parents had agreed to be part of Valentine's experiments, you would have known about my family. Wouldn't you?"

"Well . . ." Layla sighed. "Well, the Lightwood family has always been associated with Valentine in my mind. And they got what they deserved when their house burned and killed everyone inside it." I gasped.

"I thought that for a long time. Until I met you." I backed away just a tiny bit from her, because that kind of creeped me out.

Layla sighed again. "I have a serious question to ask you. What happens when someone isn't who they say they are? What am I supposed to do?"

"Well, you have to get them to tell the truth," I suggested. "Somehow. Don't ask me, I'm just a clueless Shadowhunter who grew up as a mundane."

"Well, I'm just going to have to go ahead and ask you this: Are you a spy for Valentine?"

I gasped. "Layla! I don't know anything about this world! How could I be a spy for Valentine if I didn't even know he existed? You tell me."

"Sorry," Layla apologized. "I just always thought your family was in league with Valentine. After thinking that for so long, I kind of have it stuck in my head."

"Well, you seem to genuinely like me, which is better than a lot of people. So there's something I like about you."

Layla blushed. "Yeah, not a lot of people like me too. They think I'm annoying, or they're so busy with Jace, they can't pay attention to me. It's a lonely existence, I'll tell you."

"I know how that feels. I spend so much time taking care of my siblings; I barely have a life outside of them. You feel that?"

"Totally," Layla agreed. "I know how it feels to live in the shadow of someone else. We could be good friends, don't you think?"

"Yeah," I said. "Look, it might be a good idea to go to bed. Good night, Layla."

"Good night!" she said, waving and walking off into the distance.

I walked back to my room, somehow managing to remember where to go. I took a look at my siblings, and curled up next to them, falling back asleep quickly because I was with people I called family.