The Fallen
Summary – Peeta Mellark is the Winner of the 74th Hunger Games after Katniss Everdeen sacrifices herself to save his life. He soon finds himself in the middle of the rebellion as their beacon of hope, their Mockingjay. But as Peeta will soon discover, not all fallen tributes stay dead.
Disclaimer: These are all Suzanne Collin's toys. They're just in my playground.
A/N: Hey guys, updating a day early as I have a day full of meetings at work tomorrow so I know I won't get the chance. Some of you have shared some concerns for our Heroine based off my last chapter. Bare in mind I have over 40 chapters pre-written... do you really think Peeta's going to leave it that long before he tries to help her? Come on, now! I'm not going to spoil it for you, but unfortunately you're not going to be getting the answers right away as we're going jump back to Katniss again. Let's check in with her shall we?
Please follow/favourite/review. Enjoy x
My two favourite armed guards came barging into my cell of a room and pulled me out of there by my arms. I knew from experience that there was no use in talking to them or asking where I was going, so I didn't struggle in their hold and just let them drag me to whatever next circle of hell awaited me.
Although, just to be awkward I made myself as dead weight as possible to make it harder for them. They didn't seem to notice.
I was thrust into a medical bay where they strapped me down roughly into a leather chair. A doctor of some kind came in with a large syringe, "What's that?" I asked wearily, it looked nothing like the good stuff that helped me sleep and it was a lot larger than the needles I was used to.
"Your chip," he replied nonchalantly, "a bit like your tracker for the Games but it packs more punch," he gave me a wink as if we were old friends. I sneered in response but it turned into a wince when he injected it into me with no care, consideration or a spec of bedside manner, "we're done here," he spoke to the guards, "you can take her through now, she's been cleared. He's been getting impatient." they unstrapped me and dragged me away on another mystery journey.
They headed out of the room, with my arms linked through theirs, I dragged my feet along the ground behind me, not bothering to walk with them. It was the only small form of rebellion I had left in me. The turned right at the top of the corridor and continued heading straight until we reached a steel door with a keycard access. We went through it and out into another corridor. This new corridor wasn't clinical like the last one though, it looked like a palace. There were marble floors, high ceilings and columns.
They stopped at a door with my name stencilled on it. Then they opened the door and pushed me through, "Wash yourself. There are new clothes for you, change out of the hospital gown and be presentable," one of them ordered before closing the door behind them. I automatically checked the door, it was locked, of course.
I looked around the room at my new surroundings, it was a bedroom. Single bed and wardrobe with an adjoining bathroom. All pretty basic. I looked in the wardrobe dreading what might be inside and what I'm supposed to dress in. Nothing lavish like I was expecting from Seneca's grand speech. A couple of long linen dresses, all beige in color. I checked the drawers at the bottom which were filled with plain white cotton underwear.
I couldn't remember the last time I washed myself. I was trying to be as stubborn and uncooperative as possible if I wasn't able to get my own way. But as always, no matter how I tried to resist they always proved to me that my resistance was useless. They would wash me during bouts of unconsciousness and I tried really hard not to think about how or who might have done it. So I knew there was no use fighting against these orders, if they wanted me to look 'presentable' they'd probably just knock me out again and do it all themselves.
But right now I felt almost desperate to feel halfway human again, I got into the shower. Unlike the tiny excuse for a shower in the hospital cell, the water from this shower was actually warm, it felt incredible running over my skin. There was soaps and shampoos available too I washed through my hair and rinsed the soap off my body. It was difficult to face getting out of the warm, comforting shower and facing whatever was coming next. But I knew better than to keep them waiting so I stepped out to dry myself.
I towel dried my hair as much as I could before running a brush through it that I found in the bathroom. My hair had become ridiculously long and for the first time I was really intrigued to know just how much time had passed for me. I pulled on some of the underwear and one of the dresses and then slipped my feet into a pair of the white slip on shoes waiting by the door, they were actually pretty comfortable. When I was ready I sat myself down on the edge of my new bed and waited. Within 5 minutes someone opened the door. Of course they had been watching me. They were always watching me.
"Hello, Katniss," I'd know the spine-tingling chill of that voice anywhere
"I didn't realise I was worthy enough to receive house calls," I muttered
"Oh, but you are," President's Snow's eyes gleamed, "You are my star. Walk with me, will you?" he asked. He was flanked by two bodyguard's, like anything else about this place, I didn't believe I had a choice in the matter. Reluctantly I followed.
"Welcome to your new home, your new life!" he said excitedly, "I've been waiting such a long time for you to be ready. I do hope that the remainder of your time here will be smooth sailing from now on," there was a threat buried among his words, he wasn't happy I kept him waiting. I didn't know how to respond to that, I was still completely unaware how much time had passed between my bouts of unconsciousness and breakdowns, so I remained silent.
He studied my face for a few moments. Yes Snow, you own me, there's no escape, you have completely broken my spirit. Does that make you happy? A smile spread across his face as if he could hear my thoughts. Of course it did. "The room I just collected you from is your new quarters, that's where you'll be staying from now on. The other rooms you see along this row are the rooms of your new colleagues,"
The way he said 'colleagues' made me shudder. He must have meant fellow prisoners.
"The right wing of the building is the hospice you were brought straight to for your urgent care after your games and is where you've been staying during your recovery. You will not need to return to that area unless you are in need of urgent medical assistance, or you are facing punishment." He explained, I didn't care to ask what he meant by punishment either. He seemed to take pleasure in my involuntary shudder.
"But now you're finally ready to join the main house, I believe Seneca had already explained to you, your new purpose. The reason you're here?" he asked, I gave a brief nod, paired with a scowl, "Oh, Miss Everdeen, no need for the sour face, you are going to be living the lifestyle only few will ever get to know,"
Like Seneca he was trying to convince me that I was lucky to be here. Like selling our bodies to the highest bidder wasn't such a deplorable act. He was suggesting that I had this amazing future ahead of me like he truly believed I was better off living like this. After all I'm only a girl from District Twelve, he probably did believe it was better than what I had before.
"This whole building we're in was built for the soul purpose of housing Fallen tributes such as yourselves that are kept alive for entertaining my top circle." He explained, he placed a hand on the small of my back as he encouraged me to walk on with him, I fought back a cringe and felt revolted.
"Come this way." He showed me around a corner, "I have something much more interesting to show you," he grin widened and it filled me with fear. He led me into a room unlike anything I'd ever seen in my life.
It was filled rows and rows of clothes, stacked from floor to ceiling, end to end. Such beautiful clothes, gowns, dresses in every fabric and colour you can imagine. "This is the Stylists room." Snow said, "This is where my team get to play with their dolls such as you and dress you up according to whatever fantasy your buyer desires. You will only come in here if your time has been booked and you are with a stylist." I noticed the rows of fancy stations with light up mirrors, make-up and hair products on one side of the room away from the outfits.
If he knew me at all, he would know none of this would impress me. Again I failed to contain a shudder, and although he pretended not to notice yet again I noticed that my discomfort brought him pleasure. He was getting off on this.
I am led to another large room filled with plush couches and cushions, large tv's and a bar on one side. On the other side there was a couple of bookshelves filled with books and a set of double doors that lead out to a private courtyard. "This is the rec room if you will," He gestured to another set of double doors on the other side of the room, "Through those doors you have access to gym facilities and a swimming pool. It is important that you maintain your health and fitness to entertain my special guests. You have free access to roam these areas as you please until curfew, which all must adhere to unless out with a client."
Of course there's a curfew. For a rec room, I would have thought that it would be full of his other prisoners, but I saw no one else about. He took me for a stroll through the Gardens, at first I had to shield my eyes stepping out into the natural day light. I sucked in a deep breath of the fresh air. It had been so long since I have been outside. I blinked a few times adjusting to the light. The gardens were beautiful. Hell, everything was beautiful and it would be a perfect life that anyone would want, if it weren't for that insidious catch.
He told me he would not be giving me a tour of the rest of the building as he assured me I would be getting to know that part well soon enough. He described them for me though, he told me about the great halls for parties and dancing, that there was a small restaurant to dine with his guests. He spared no detail when telling me about the lavish bedrooms, all tailored to cater for different types of fantasies. I was beginning to feel sick all over again.
He then led me through to our main dining hall which was where everyone seemed to be, "This is where you will be dining normally. You'll be provided with the well balanced, delicious meals. There is a strict schedule for your meal times though and unless you are with a client. I suggest you stick to it,"
I could feel the eyes of everyone in the room on me, I quickly glanced around seeing some familiar faces of past tributes. I was stunned, I never expect there to be this many. There was around 30 men and women in total. Mostly women, only a small handful of men. All of the women were wearing the same beige linen dress that I was wearing and the men wore tunic tops and pants in the same color and material as the women's dressed.
On my quick observation, I noticed that there appeared to be no one over the age of 50 and I wondered if that had something to do with when all this began or if something more sinister became of anyone over a certain age. I was terrified of the answer.
My eyes then fell on one person I didn't expect to see here. Cato. He looked just as surprised to see me here but he appeared to be even more surprised by the face of the person accompanying me. His face reddened. His eyes were murderous. I had to look away and I saw how entertained Snow appeared to be by the situation. I came to another realisation that with all these camera's around he had his own private games that he could watch right here. It never ends for him.
"It's been a pleasure speaking with you, Miss Everdeen, I do hope you enjoyed the tour. But this is where we must part ways. I have important business to attend to. Please do get something to eat and get to know your new and old friends." He chuckled as he left.
When we were left alone Cato rose to his feet fist clenched, he started towards me. I thought he was going to kill me but a woman stopped him and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Calm down," she said softly, "we're all in this together, we're not in the arena anymore."
There was something familiar about the woman, I didn't think about it too much though, everyone in here was once in the arena so I must have seen her on recaps of old games. She came over to me with a warm smile, "We've been expecting you for some time, Katniss, I know this is a lot to take in right now, but try not to worry. We look after each other here," she then flashed Cato a quick glance, "Don't we?"
He sunk back to his seat, almost embarrassed. "Come sit with us," the nice woman said gesturing to the empty seat that was beside the one she rose from, "Harper, would you be a dear and get Katniss something to eat?" she asked turning to a young girl, younger than me even. She had to have been a tribute from the past 2 years at most. The girl nodded and headed to the buffet. I took the offered seat, my eyes flickering over to Cato nervously,
"Oh, don't worry about him," a young man laughed, "he's just jealous that he didn't get a personal tour from Snow,"
"He didn't?" I asked
"None of us did, you were the first tribute to get an 11 from District Twelve, you were the favourite to win it and you're a beautiful girl. You are Snow's star prize. I can bet he's getting a lot of interest for you and he's excited about it," he replied
"Wonderful," I rolled my eyes, "I don't want it, any of it,"
"Get over yourself, honey," another girl at the table sneered, she looked like she was in her mid 20's, I recognised her immediately, she was a District One tribute several years ago, she was killed by District Four Victor, Finnick Odair. Her name was Ruby Riley, I recalled. It stuck with me because I remembered thinking that she was guaranteed to win that year. Finnick was too young to believe in until he got a hold of that Trident. "Do you think any of us wanted this life? This is your life now. You'll never see anyone you love again unless they're unfortunate enough to land in here with you. You'll will never leave this damn prison. So suck it up, Princess. You never know you might even enjoy yourself." she sneered
"That's enough Ruby," the nice woman warned, "You were just like her once,"
"Without the special attention," the man who laughed at Cato before added,
"Let me guess, District One?" I asked pretending not to recognise her, "I thought I could smell arrogance,"
"Ooh I like you, you're a spitfire" the man said, "I'm Monty," he held out his hand, I accepted his gesture and shook, "District Eleven. "Died" in the 62nd games," he used his fingers as quotation marks, "Selected for this hellhole because of my good sense of humour and boyish charm,"
"Don't worry Monty, this place will knock that fire right out of her," Ruby took a bite out of an apple
"Like it did you?" he shot back, "Don't mind her," he said gesturing to Ruby with his thumb, "her bark is worse than her bite,"
"Wanna bet?" Ruby challenged
Harper returned then with a tray, "I wasn't sure what you'd like," she said timidly, she had picked a little bit of everything. When she smiled I finally recognised her, she was reaped for last year's games. She was definitely younger than me. She was 13 years when she apparently 'died' in the arena. She must be 14 or 15 at most by now. I felt sick to the stomach all over again. 14 years old. She was beautiful, all the people here were. I couldn't understand why I was picked too.
"Thank you," I told her earnestly and flashed her a sympathetic look. She nodded once and took a seat between me and the older woman who rescued me from Cato. I started taking bites out of everything. I didn't realise how hungry I was.
I sat in silence as I ate, my new peers had the sense not to disturb me too much as they continued their conversations around me. Most of the group seemed nice, I learned the older woman's name was 'May' at least now I had a name to her familiar face.
I kept stealing glances at Cato who was just looking down at his clenched fists on the table. How long had he been here? It couldn't have been much longer before I arrived, after all, he was in a much worse condition than I had been judging from the footage I saw. He was literally torn apart. I was struggling to comprehend that they were able to fix him up this well.
"How long has it been?" I asked suddenly, interrupting a conversation. Everyone turned to look at me surprised by my question, Cato included. I didn't like this attention, I suddenly felt very nervous, but I needed some clarity.
"How long has what been?" Ruby snapped, "And so it starts... thinking she's the most important person in the room," she muttered
"Ruby, enough" May said with authority, she seemed to be a mother figure here that everyone respected and listened to. "How long since your games you mean?"
"Yes. It's been… hard to track,"
"6 months, 3 weeks and 4 days," Cato answered not looking at her
I was stunned silent, surely it couldn't have been that long. I missed a birthday. I was 17 now. "We had been waiting your arrival for some time. Watching your games, we knew that if you didn't win, you were guaranteed to end up in here, we were all expecting it." May explained, "When Cato arrived a little under 4 months ago we thought that maybe you didn't survive after all, because they have never selected two tributes from the same games before. But a couple of weeks ago, we got word that you were here,"
"How did you get word I was here?" I asked May
"I have a friend who provides me with information, that's how we found out you were still alive, somewhere around here,"
"Who's this friend?" I asked, it would be nice to have someone on the inside having your back
"I'm sorry, I'm afraid that I am sworn to secrecy. It's kept us safe all these years and I'm not about to screw that up now. They told me that you were kept in the medical bay longer than normal because you kept failing the psych test. You weren't ready to be released in here or be introduced with the clients in fear for their safety."
"What psych test?"
"They said you tried to kill yourself. Repeatedly," May said with a sad look in her eye, "they needed you to realise that wasn't an option. There is no escape, not even death could save you. They kept you in there to break your spirit,"
"The fact that you kept trying proves you have a lot of spirit, from what we saw in your Games, I expected you would have," Monty smiled sadly,
"I'd hardly call trying to take my own life 'spirit'," I muttered
"I'm sure you didn't want to die, but it was preferable to the thought of this right? It was your way of saying you didn't want them to own you," I nodded slowly, swallowing hard. His assessment of me wasn't wrong, but the fact that I was in here now only proved that they did break me. I was weak.
"Unfortunately. We're all stuck in this no-win situation so we make the most out of what we can, we stick together, we support each other like a family. We do as we're told and we stay alive." he continued
"It's hardly living though is it?" I said, "What's the worst they can do to us? So if we keep overstepping the mark surely they have to kill us, right? At least then we're free of this," My chances of killing myself and escape were gone. But if I could make enough trouble for them, surely I wouldn't be worth keeping alive, I tried to be difficult for my guards, so perhaps I had enough spirit left in me for this?
Cato snorted, I studied him carefully, he was getting fidgety.
"You would think that wouldn't you?" Ruby snipped, "You think none of us have tried that? There are things worse than death, Katniss." She spat my name like it was a bad taste on her tongue,
"That's enough, Ruby," May warned again, "Be nice,"
"I wouldn't recommend causing trouble," Monty suggested, "First of all they use these to keep us in line," he pointed to a spot on his arm, it was the same place on my arm where that tracker chip was inserted not long ago. Under his dark skin I could see a faint blue light flashing. I didn't notice that before, I quickly looked at my own pale skin and could see the faint blue light of my own tracker glowing.
"The trackers?" I asked, "but they pack more of a punch", the doctor had said
"They're more than that," he explained, "Not only do they track our whereabouts, they use to them monitor our vitals such as heart rates, blood pressure and temperatures and all that sort of stuff. But best of all they come with a nasty shock" he shuddered as though recalling the sensation at that moment
"Snow doesn't want a lot of people finding out about us or this place for a lot of reasons, that's why he gives us a lot of freedom to do as we please as long as we don't break curfew, we stick to our boundaries and do as we're told." May explained "He keeps it all in a very delicate balance. We don't have guards because they say they want us to feel 'more at home' as if we didn't know that we're being watched constantly over the cameras." she laughed ironically, "But at least we know that our conversations aren't being listened to as far as we can tell."
"It's all a ruse, the lack of guards, the good food, the comfortable clothes, gym facilities, pool, fancy gardens, tv's, books to read, a bar... it's to make us feel comfortable, like they're trying to convince us that we're better off in here. Giving us this comfortable life it a way to try and limit our reasons to riot or fight back." Monty explained, "Not that we ever could with these," he gestured to the tracker in his arm again, "the second they see one of us taking a step out of line they give us a little warning shock, it hurts like hell and usually scares you straight, but if the bad behaviour continues they can make the shocks more and more intense. But believe me, you don't want that" he warned
"The ruse isn't just to make us feel comfortable," Ruby added, "He wants us to perform well for the clients and put on a happy face, after all, no one wants to buy a sex slave who looks dead behind the eyes. So all these home comforts and the appearance of freedom is just a little incentive to play along. Otherwise as Monty said we get shocked, but it can get worse than that, much worse" she sneered again but this time it wasn't aimed at me, "If you keep misbehaving, they shock you until you're unconscious, then they take you away and torture you for days. It feels longer, like years, it's never ending. They can tear you apart, inside and out, until your begging for death. Until your right on that precipice of death and you begin to believe you're finally close to freedom but that's just when they suck you back in, heal you and clean you up as if it never happened and throw you back in here to go through it all again,"
"You're only free from here when you start looking too old or stop getting requested, then they take you away and you are never seen again," Monty sighed mournfully
That explained why they were no older fallen victors, it was as I suspected. "Monty's cousin Penny was also in here," May told me quietly, "they were really close, but she was taken away a couple of months ago as she hadn't had a client request in 6 months. I'm getting older now and I'm getting fewer requests. I fear my time is soon coming," May looked like she was in her mid-40's, that wasn't old, she was still a beautiful woman.
"The real victors are never really free, either," Harper said softly. I remember Seneca mentioning selling Peeta to the highest bidder.
I thought about everyone who ever has been or ever will be reaped for the games. I thought of all the suffering, the needless deaths that has and will pass.
I then thought about the people, past and present, who were plucked from death to end up here. These poor people around me who were being forced to live this nightmare life.
And then I thought about the Victors like Haymitch and Peeta, who had to go through it all believing that by winning they were free to live long, happy and wealthy lives, only to later realise that the games never end for any of them.
The Games don't end for any of us, except for the lucky ones who got to stay dead.
My thoughts drifted off to Peeta and I wondered what he was doing now and how he was feeling. I wondered if he was okay. I thought back to seeing him on the tv during the interviews and again I wondered why his speech didn't air again with the reruns, I had seen reruns from our games numerous times now, but never saw his homecoming speech and they always missed off the speech from District Eleven. I hoped someone in here saw it and I could ask them what happened.
And that's when it finally occurred to me. Peeta fought back somehow. He must have. They always, ALWAYS rerun the return home footage and all of the Victory speeches a hundred times over because the Capitol love forcing footage from the Hunger Games down our throats, reminding us that we can never escape it.
He must have said something that Snow did not want Panem to see. I saw his anger clear as day in his interview with Caesar, normally he was so careful with the façade he put on for the Capitol but he didn't make much effort to hide it then, or maybe he did but I had grown to know him better than most people. Watching him read those speeches in the other Districts was like watching a different person.
Peeta was a master with words he could charm anyone into believing anything. I bet he must have said something to piss off the Capitol so much so that they didn't want to air it again. But the charm was absent in those remaining Victory speeches, he spoke robotically, clearly wanting the world to see he didn't believe what he was reading. If our conversations weren't being listened to in here, I decided to ask my new friends.
"Why didn't they rerun Peeta's speech?"
"Which one," Monty's smile returned
"I didn't see his homecoming speech or his speech to District Eleven on the Victory tour. I found it odd that they didn't rerun them like they do everything else," I explained
"She hasn't seen them," Monty's grin got wider, he then took great pleasure in telling me exactly what Peeta said live on TV during both these speeches. He told me how the network clearly tried to pull it from air but they weren't quick enough. He told me about the poor man who was executed live in front of Peeta's eyes. That would have destroyed him no wonder he behaved in the remaining speeches.
These speeches were seen by so many when they aired live. But they never reshowed either of them.
Something warmed within me. Peeta did all that? I wished so much that I had been able to see it. I was so proud of him. And so, finally, I was ready to acknowledged it. I owe him that much. I had already lost everything; I had been beaten down and broken, ready to die, ready to take my own lift. But despite my best efforts to deny it, to run from it, the most painful thing of all was being ripped away from him, I had nothing left to lose by admitting it.
Somehow in my darkest hour he had given me back my hope, he was always saving me. That's just what he does.
I was in love with Peeta Mellark and whatever it takes I will find my way back to him.