It was a lovely couple of days away and that was something that Carla loved, she thought back to the time that she spent with Antoine and the way that he was so caring and loving towards her and he was genuinely a good guy and that was something Carla admired in him and that was something she loved. The way he held her, yes it was lovely but she still felt an immense sense of longing for something more, maybe it was her feelings for Peter coming to the surface she wasn't sure and that was ok, this was what she wanted, wasn't it? Really she didn't know and that was something which was deemed acceptable in both her heart and in her brain. Yes there would be a loss in her heart but Antoine could fill that in time, she could learn to trust him to the extent of the trust she always had with Peter couldn't she, Peter built her back up after she was raped, after she was ill surely Antoine could do the same couldn't he if he really loved her, she thought so if someone with the flaws that Peter had and he helped her Antoine could do the same with barely any flaws, she was convinced he could help her. Maybe she was trying to test him by coming off her medication, maybe that's what this was but really she knew it was because internally she was suffering and that was that.

Antoine drove her back home and she invited him in for a coffee on the wariness of Johnny, Jenny and Michelle's influence and nosiness but he didn't care so they were sitting in the backroom curled up on the sofa together whilst Michelle watched their each and every move wanting to see if this whole thing was legit with Carla in an attempt to stop Antoine from getting hurt because after all, he didn't deserve to be a pawn in Carla's game against Peter. Sh e had to admit they did seem rather loved up, they seemed so in love and that was that it was convincing and Michelle couldn't wait to hound Carla over her couple of nights away.

"I'm going to have to go, I'm sorry" Antoine smiles, Carla rolls her eyes kissing him on the lips passionately, Johnny, Jenny and Michelle raise an eyebrow "I'll be in contact yeah?"

"Yeah that's fine"

"You should come for a family meal Antoine" Jenny flutters her eyelashes, Michelle bites her lip trying to suppress her laughter as Carla shoots Jenny a look

"That would be lovely" Antoine pulls a brave face, Michelle shake her head trying to stop laughing

"I'll show you out" Carla smiles taking his hand she turns back and shoots Johnny and Jenny a look, they walk through the bar and stand outside in front of Antoine's car "These last couple of days have been amazing"

"They have" he smiles slightly, she smirks biting her lip rather cutely "I'll tell you what why dont we go away?"

"Where?" she questions intrigued, he kisses her on the lips causing her to reciprocate

"I dont know, abroad somewhere?" he questions, Carla bites her lip nodding "Or if you want we can stay in this country for a staycation? Just me and you getting to know each other more"

"That does sound appealing I would have to book time off work" she closes her eyes feeling him nuzzle into her neck and kiss her there "Go on then, I'll text you some dates over when I'm free?"

"That sounds perfect" he grins kissing her on the forehead then on the lips again "But I must go, I dont want to leave you but I have to"

"I dont want you to leave either" she admits wrapping her arms around his neck "I'll miss you"

"I'll miss you too" he grins "Take care"

"I will" she grins kissing him one last time and watching him get in the car, she turns around to see an unimpressed Peter "Oh it's you"

"Yeah it's me" he smirks, she glares icily at him "You look rather cosy"

"Are you jealous?" Carla questions, Peter shakes his head "Odd, it seems like it, you really need to stop stalking me"

"I think you like keeping tabs on my movements surprised you haven't nicked my phone yet and installed a tracker"

"You make me sound like a paranoid ex-girlfriend" she laughs slightly internally hurting at the word paranoia, she knew it wouldn't be long until she started to slip back into her old ways "You need to get a grip"

"I think you do too considering you still have the engagement ring I gave you" he grins triumphantly "If you want me back just say"

"And what would Abi say about that?" she sneers, Peter raises an eyebrow "Come on you didn't think Michelle wouldn't tell me?"

"Me and Abi are just friends whereas I dont think Antoine would think lightly of you when you're keeping another man's engagement ring"

"Say what you want, he views you as the stalking ex anyway" she tilts her head to the side "I'm happy cant you accept that?"

"No because I know you Carla and I know you crave me, my touch, my skin on your skin" he stands in front of her, she looks straight ahead, he reaches out to cup her cheek, she slaps his cheek with her spare hand

"Dont you dare touch me" she states bitterly "I am no longer yours"

"But you want to be, the touch of my skin against your's the way we fit together emotionally and physically" he smirks suggestively "This body is mine"

"Not anymore it's not, Antoine makes me satisfied even further than you did" she shrieks "He is a much better man than you"

"Maybe he is" he muses "But let me tell you something Carla, he is not me"

"And thank god for that-"

"Carla!" Michelle calls from the door "Oh...sorry"

"It's fine, Peter was just being jealous over Antoine and so he should be because he is a much better man than him" she snipes "Bye Peter"

"Everything ok"? Michelle asks as they walk through the bar, Carla just shrugs "Carla?"

"I just want to unpack, I need some time alone" she states pulling her bag onto her shoulder and heading upstairs, Michelle sighs slightly letting her go knowing there was nothing else she could do

The thing about Peter was that he was right and Carla knew it but she didn't want to go there, she didn't want to the constant stress in her life as to when Peter would next drop her for someone else, she didn't want to be second best. With Antoine she knew that she was his world right now and that all of his time was on her and that was something she loved, she didn't have to share him with any exes or lady friends so that was something which really appealed to her and above all he loved her, she knew that the burden of her illness would chase him away so she needed to act normal no more medication and then he would accept her and treat her like a normal human without jer feeling like she was a china doll. It was difficult being her, it always would be difficult after everything she had been through but she had Antoine now and that's what she loved, she loved him despite her heart calling out for Peter, apart from her satisfaction. Antoine was great in bed but he wasn't Peter, with Peter she didn't have to put any effort in and he could make her tremble in anticipation and that's what made them so great but with Antoine, she found out that she needed to help him understand what her body needed but in time she knew he would understand and they did have an amazing time together.

She was packing her stuff away chucking things in the wash bin which needed to be washed and packing things away which needed to go back to where they belonged in her room. Michelle sent her a text saying that Peter had collected his stuff, she was annoyed that Michelle let him as he now knew about the engagement ring, she pulled it out of the drawer and examined it in greater detail, her eyes scanning over the platinum band and simple diamond, it was truly beautiful, Peter must have seen her of great value when he chose this ring, she thought about how much it was shame that things turned out the way they did, she also rummaged around the drawer and pulled out the picture of her and Peter she began to cry exessively over this picture, memories in the form of pictures hurt, she remembered that night vividly, the way he treated her like the only person in his life, the only person he cared about, how they pigged out on junk food as she was feeling down due to her medication and just not feeling great in general, he made her feel special and cared for which upset her ultimately, she throws the picture against the wall, the picture shattering into millions of pieces, the tiny shards of glasses stuck in the carpet of the bedroom, she went to pick them up to clear up the mess which was created as the photo smashed, the tiny pieces representing the love that once was but now it was broken metaphorically by the glass which was cutting her fingers open, she felt no pain and that was that, blood was thicker than water, she thought about that for a bit, Peter was like her family and that was great, maybe this photo smashing and her cutting her hand open was telling her to go with Peter, trust him but then she thought about Antoine again and that was the way he could become like Peter, that he could be exactly like Peter if he wanted, that was something worth fighting for.

"Carla?" Michelle questions

"Dammit" she hisses picking up the frame and shoving it in the drawer

"Carla are you ok?"

"I'm fine!" she calls grabbing some clothes from her wash bin and chucking them over the pile of broken glass, she opens the door "What do you want?"

"Well I was just worried about you after that confrontation with Peter"

"Michelle I know how to deal with Peter any day of the week, dont worry about me" she chuckles slightly, all she wanted was to escape from the whole thing "When are you going back to Ireland anyway?"

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"No not at all but you've been here for ages, don't you have a job to get back to?"

"Yeah I do, I might book a flight for the end of the week if you're ok with me going?"

"It's your life Michelle" Carla chuckles "I can't force you to stay and you shouldn't stay because of me"

"Well, I worry about you" Michelle grins, Carla just rolls her eyes knowing Michelle would love to be here and interrogate her relationship with Antoine further "You will take care won't you?"

"Of course, I have Antoine now" Carla smiles, Michelle nods slowly "No more looking back now, only looking forward to the future"

"Yeah sounds good to me, you keep that positive attitude up yeah? Maybe we could have a drink later?"

"Sounds good to me" she nods "I just want to have a nap as I'm pretty exhausted"

"Antoine wear you out then?" Michelle chuckles watching as Carla pulls a face "I'm joking with you, you look glowing, seriously you look so happy"

"Well then if that's not enough for you to go back to Ireland then I dont know anymore Chelle"

"Hmm you'll be fine kiddo" Michelle smiles kissing her on the forehead "Have fun unpacking"

"I will" she sighs closing the door and standing with her back against it, she slips down onto the floor and cries quietly into her hands wishing her mind and her heart wouldn't fight it out over Peter and Antoine...

She slept for what seemed like ages, the thing was she didn't feel refreshed, something was missing, Peter or Antoine no doubt so she knew her mind was out to hurt her. She picked up her phone and sent a text off to Antoine and to pass the time she looked through her photos, her and Peter babysitting Bertie which put a brief smile on her face, if she thought about this a couple of months ago she would love nothing more than to have a baby with Peter before it was too late even if she did have her concerns over miscarriage it would be something she would love to explore, she would have loved them to move in together have a place of their own and just live happily and whoever else may join them on the way, her mind quickly darted to Antoine and she thought about him whether he would want to marry her, whether he would want to have children with her even with her own concerns over it she was convinced that he would love her the same way Peter did and love their possible child the way that Peter would.

She shared that drink with Michelle and then they watched a movie together. It wasn't long before Michelle escaped up to bed and left Carla alone with her thoughts. She stared at the TV not making any sense of the images playing out in front of her because her mind was too confused with the thoughts of Peter and Antoine, she just wished that she was able to get on with her life and live it in a way which was deemed mentally sane. The fact that she wasn't taking her medication wasn't helping matters it just made her mind unable to comprehend certain scenarios at which the world was playing out in front of her but it made her able to comprehend the world her mind was picturing for her and that was ok, she didn't want this to be the case and the thing was she didn't want to fix it because the way she viewed herself was that she didn't deserve it because she deserved to be second best just like Peter had treated her, she was so fixated on the way Peter had treated her and that was something she would live with now. She eventually went upstairs quietly as everyone was now asleep, she pulled out the broken frame and the shattered glass which she stored in an old plastic bag which she found lying around in her room, she then went downstairs and out of the back door of the Rover's and chucked the bag in the commercial bin which was usually used for the waste from the pub, she inhaled and the gentle smell of Peter's vape gave her comfort, it got closer and she heard the footsteps.

"I thought I would surprise you, I know how much of a night owl you are"

"What?" Carla questions pressing a hand to her chest "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to surprise you, I couldn't live without you Carla"

"Me neither" she admits with a small smile, his warm eyes alluding her into calmer serenities "Are you staying the night?"

"That's what I'm here for"

"Good" she smiles taking his hand and looking up into his eyes "I've missed you"

"Me too" he nods slowly "How about we go upstairs?"

"Sounds good to me, let me just lock up, you go and put your stuff down, last room on the left"

"I'll see you soon" he walks through the door, she sighs slightly rubbing her tired eyes, she was convinced she could smell the scent of Peter's vape and hear his footsteps but the fact Antoine turned up out of the blue was something she just couldn't fathom...