Chapter 10

My eyes opened to see Boulderfang sitting by me. They must have found me. Mouse-dung, they probably have a bunch of questions. Can I breeze by them with some lies? I'm definitely telling Tallblaze about it, but still, the others. Calm down. I haven't been awake long enough to be mentally panicking like this. I need to chill.

I sat up and Boulderfang immediately noticed. "You're awake!" he exclaimed. "Stay here, I'm gonna go ask Dawnfur if there's anything I should do."

"Okay," I said.

He left me alone in what looked to be the apprentice den. Why wasn't I with Dawnfur? I then realized I probably couldn't with the illness going around. I wondered if anyone else was sick.

Boulderfang returned. "She said since it's not an injury you should be fine to move around and you should probably eat something. You can leave the den though," he said.

"Okay," I said. I got up and stretched. "Let's go then."

I walked out of the den. The day was cold, but the little streams of sunlight felt warm on my pelt. Not many cats were in camp by the looks of it. I walked over to the fresh-kill pile, grabbed something, and went back to sit with Boulderfang.

"So, how's everything going with the Clan?" I asked.

"Not well," he answered. "Both of the elders died, and a lot more are sick. Mountainpeak, Darkkit, Meadowkit, Badgerkit, Pineclaw, and Wingstar all caught whitecough, and Songheart, Cranepool, Skyfang, Badgerkit, and Wingstar now have greencough."

What stuck out to me is the most is the fact kits had caught whitecough and one had greencough. They are so young, and to be dealing with this. I felt guilty for not being able to help my Clan because I was unconscious, and it was completely my fault too. I should've been there for my Clan, but I guess now I'll just have to work even harder.

"That's not good. We have more sick cats than ones that are well," I said.

"Yeah, but you're awake now. That's at least something good," he said. "And we have quite a few questions about it." Of course, they do.

"I figured," I sighed.

"Once everyone's done with their duties for the day we can all talk about it," he said. "They'll be happy to know you're awake. You've had us worried."

"I know, I'm sorry," I said. After days on end with Lightstar, I definitely regret it.

After the Duskpelt incident I was scared to say anything that might make her mad. If I wasn't terrified before I definitely was now. I really needed to talk to Tallblaze about it, but that would have to wait. Hopefully I'll get some time later.

"Shorty!"

I turned to see Tallblaze, Silkshade, and Silentstorm who had all just entered camp. Tallblaze and Silkshade both came to me, the prey they were holding forgotten. Silentstorm started on her first trip to put all the prey on the pile.

"Hey guys," I said.

"Don't scare us like that again," Silkshade said.

"You're the last cat who has the right to say that," Silentstorm said, walking back to the dropped fresh-kill.

"Maybe. We want to know what happened," Silkshade said. "Is she allowed to leave?"

"Dawnfur said everything should be fine," Boulderfang said. "She can."

"Then let's go," Tallblaze said.

Silentstorm, who had finally walked over, said, "Next time remember to actually put the fresh-kill on the pile."

"Sorry," Silkshade apologized.

"Won't happen again," Tallblaze said.

We then left camp. I knew I had to give them some answers, even if they weren't true. Because I couldn't tell them the truth. I didn't even want to tell them a half truth.

"What were you doing? No, what were you thinking?" Boulderfang asked.

"I wasn't tired so I went for a walk," I said.

"You should know how dangerous that is," Silkshade said.

"I do know that, I just really wasn't thinking," I said. That much is true. "It's not like I expected Grasstail to show up and do that."

"It's okay. Just don't go out alone like that, especially at night," Boulderfang said. "Okay?"

"Okay," I said. I wouldn't make that mistake again, that was for sure. "Could I stay out for a bit longer?"

"Didn't we just say not to go out alone?" Silkshade asked.

"I'll stay out here with Shorty. You guys can go," Tallblaze said.

I nodded in agreement. The others left, leaving me alone with Tallblaze.

"Okay, spill it," Tallblaze said. "We both know that's not the full story."

"Yeah, it isn't. But the story involves my problem so I couldn't tell the others," I told him.

I then launched into the full story, starting with my issue with Grasstail at the Gathering. I could tell he wasn't exactly happy with my choice to take Grasstail up on his offer and then his deal, but I expected that. I then told him about what happened with Lightstar, which he seemed worried about.

"Do you realize how much danger you put yourself into? You know Grasstail loathes you with a passion and doesn't really have morals," he said, his voice concerned rather than angry. "What in StarClan were you thinking?"

"I wasn't thinking. I wanted some answers, and I got some, but believe me, I now realize I shouldn't have done that," I said.

"You should've told me about it beforehand. I would've hidden, let you get your answers, and got you out," he said.

I was not expecting him to say that. "I'll remember that next time," I told him.

"What worries me is Lightstar. She's trying to get revenge on your father? That's literally what the entire point of everything she did was? What a fox-heart," he said. "This is why I say you're a good cat for not acting on your feelings or trying to hurt Songheart. It's because some cats do things like this."

"Why doesn't she get I'm nothing like her? I'd never do anything that would hurt Boulderfang in any way," I said.

"I know that, Shorty. I don't know what Lightstar thinks she'll accomplish," he said. "I'm worried though. She jumped on you and told you you were a curse?"

"And that no one actually cares about me," I whispered.

"That is a load of fox-dung. You're my best friend, Shorty! She must have bees for brains to think that no one cares about you," Tallblaze said. "And you're not a curse. It's just some bad luck."

"I can't say I agree there," I whispered.

"Some cats do have bad lives, it doesn't make you a curse. There'll be better times, you'll see," he said.

"Do you think in the Dark Forest they know a bit of the future like StarClan?" I asked.

"I wouldn't know for sure, but I don't think so," he said. "Why?"

"She said I'd suffer throughout my entire life," I told him. "I don't want to believe it's true, but what if it is?"

"Life is full of ups and downs. The ups have to come eventually. You may have your struggles, but I doubt what she said is true," he said. "She's probably just trying to scare you."

"Okay," I said.

"We should probably head back now," he said. "It's almost night."

"I don't want to sleep," I said.

"I understand you don't want to, but you have to," he said. "You can't push yourself until you collapse from exhaustion. The Clan needs you fully functioning right now."

"I'm scared to go to sleep. I can't," I said. "I can't go back. Especially after being stuck there for so long." Tears were starting to blur my vision.

He pulled me closer to him. "It's okay. You're safe right now," he murmured.

"I can't go back," I told him, tears streaming down my face. "I can't go to sleep."

"I'm sorry. I wish I knew how to help," he told me.

"I understand you can't," I said.

"Maybe someone else can. I have an idea," he said.

Author's Note: What is Tallblaze's idea? Also I've probably said this before, but Tallblaze is one of my favorite characters. Now some people might be questioning the name change. Sorry I didn't say anything last week, I was concerned with posting. I realized I'm a man. My pronouns are he/him. I hope you all don't have a problem with it and if you do stop reading the story. A shoutout to Mintflight and Swiftheart for being so darn supportive! I love you both(platonically of course, sorry if this is weird)! Welp, leave a review, they're always appreciated. See you next week!

-Rowan W