I have just gotten my results from a COVID-19 test and it's negative. Hurray!
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If you recognize it, it is not mine.
The following chapter contains references to Hawkeye Get Your Gun, Colonel's Horse, the book MASH FAQ by Dale Sherman and the movie Milada by Netflix.
Claudia finally caught up with Colonel Potter at lunch, after spending the whole morning with Hawkeye. They had some admin issues to discuss plus Colonel Potter wanted to do a check up to determine how Claudia was doing. He wasn't satisfied with the results, so he made it clear Claudia should stay on bed rest, which made her pretty angry since it meant Burns will be in command for a few days. She will still be the ranking officer, but Burns will be doing all the commanding. For a full week, the Colonel Potter will be gone and Claudia's not up to it. Damn, she hated when Burns got his two left hands on the 4077 command.
They also talked about the Colonel Potter and Hawkeye's trip to the Korean hospital 426. That's when Claudia learned about Hawkeye's reluctance to shoot his gun and the argument about it. She could only guess how he was feeling now. He still got a little quiet sometimes, tuning out the reality and just staring into space. That's what happened when Claudia was telling Hawkeye that she arranged for Hawkeye's clothes to be washed. He arrived with smudges of red all over the front of his t-shirt, which alarmed Claudia at first, but thankfully it wasn't his blood.
Colonel Potter left the next day, around noon. Claudia saw him sitting in the jeep, talking to Hawkeye and Radar. She was just going to her tent after eating a small breakfast and getting her mail from Radar. Today was pretty cold, so she put on her warmer gown and sat down at the table, opening one letter after another.
She was aware people in the camp thought she must be really popular or have a really big family, judging by how much mail she got. But most of it was form the US government demanding further information on people she knew or could have known. And sometimes the request was accompanied by announcing that said person had died. This was the case today. She sighed loudly, putting down the letter and let her head slid into her hands. She had no idea how long she stayed like that, but it would be longer, had she not been interrupted by Hawkeye entering the tent.
"Hello, my darling. How are you feeling?" He had big grin on his face, which disappeared when he noticed her sad look.
She took a few deep breaths to calm down before she spoke. "What are you doing here? I could be contagious."
"But you're not. I asked Colonel Potter." With a wink, he walked closer to her.
"Before or after you begged him to buy you more nudist magazines in Tokyo?" A little smile crossed her face as she looked straight at him.
"What? Ehm…"
She chuckled. "I don't mind. As long as you don't try to grab Margaret or her appendix."
"How do you know about her appendix?" His eyes narrowed with suspicion.
"Radar overheard you and the Colonel plus he also noticed you ran to Margaret's tent immediately after the Colonel left." Her explanation was swift and somehow sounded angry.
"Radar used to be loyal to me. What did you do to him?" Hawkeye spoke slowly, weighing the words. He wondered what was up with Claudia. She didn't even look at him most of the time. Hm. He walked around the chair she sat on and settle on the bed.
"Radar is still angry you told him he will be chosen for assisting with the nurses' annual check-up when actually I will be deciding that." She smirked.
"We didn't deceive him on purpose. It didn't occur to us you'll be the one doing the check-ups."
"So you forgot about me? Well, thank you!" She said it loudly and quickly, but still with a hint of joking.
"No, I'll never forget about you." For a moment they just stared longingly in each other's eyes. Then Hawkeye brought their lips together in a burning kiss. He could feel Claudia's trembling body pressed against his as she moaned in appreciation. They drew apart to get some air and smiled at each other.
"Your lips taste divine, you know that?" Claudia whispered into his ear while Hawkeye's hands worshipped her body. They continued to kiss eagerly like a pair of horny teenagers for a few minutes, savoring the moment. It was amazing how compatible they were, every touch proved that.
Hawkeye grabbed her hands and pulled her on top of him, as he leaned back on the cot. She buried her face in his shoulder, clearly enjoying the closeness as his hands were teasingly making their way down her back. He cried out her name, which made her smile, but then she noticed he winced in pain.
"What is it, Hawkeye?" She asked, worried, shifting her weight to lie beside him rather than on top of him.
"Oh, nothing." His voice was low as he was still gasping from their make out session. "Where were we?" He leaned towards her to kiss her again, but she stopped him.
"Hawkeye. Come on."
"I just got a few bruises on the way back here from the Korean hospital. The Colonel and I jumped in a trench to hide and the landing was kind of hard. It's nothing. Really."
"Awww. Hawkeye." She caressed his cheek, her touch gentler than ever. "My poor little thing. You're safe now."
"Better than safe." His smile, as always, brightened the whole room, or a tent to be exact. She snuggled closer to him, pressing a kiss on his cheek. He could use a little nurturing.
"Hawkeye, Colonel Potter told me about your reluctance to fire a weapon." She knew she was stepping on a dangerous ground.
"I am a doctor, Claudia! Not a soldier. If I wasn't drafted, I'd never touch a war."
"So you wouldn't shoot a gun even if it meant you're come back to me?" He turned to look at her, ready to respond, but when he saw her sad expression, his voice failed him. He took a deep breath and then spoke.
"Oh- and if you think it'd make so much difference you obviously didn't see me aim at anything."
"This is not a joke, Hawkeye. I admire your convictions and I agree with a lot of them, but please consider this is a damn bloody war! In the beginning of the war, when the fighting was too intense, the personnel of aid stations had to abandon their wounded. If they didn't, they were shot execution-style alongside with them. These are the choices some had to make. And if they stayed, they didn't get the chance to operate on others that needed them."
"I understand what you're trying to do, Claudia. Let me off the hook, please."
"Just think about it, please. You're too cute to die early."
A knock on the door interrupted the moment and helped Hawkeye out of this conversation. It was Radar who informed them Hawkeye's needed in Post-Op.
Claudia went back to bed after Hawkeye left, because she felt increasingly weak. There was some loud commotion outside, but she wasn't in the mood to check out what was happening. She'll ask Hawkeye when he comes to visit again.
Major Burns came in to complain about Hawkeye's non-military behavior and was genuinely disappointed she was not going to do anything. What was he thinking she was going to do? Confine Hawkeye to bed because he made a face at him? Well, she could confine him to her bed and that would be fun, but then they needed him up and about operating. Maybe Frank found out Margaret wants Hawkeye to operate on her and tried to sabotage it. Who knows?
She got another visitor about an hour after Ferret Face and it was Father Mulcahy who came to check up on her. He mentioned to her that Colonel's horse was sick and Hawkeye and BJ were trying to help. That was probably the fuss she heard earlier. The good Father also asked for help in writing a letter to the family of Corporal Fuchs who was in Post-Op for a week now. He was still unconscious for now and Father wanted to let the relatives know that the Corporal was alive. Fuchs' parents were both doctors and so he asked Claudia to add a few sentences about the medical condition of their son. She was the one who operated on him, so it made sense to ask her.
Possibly the shortest of visits was when Klinger stopped by, trying to convince Claudia he was too depressed to stay in the army. She told him that first, she wasn't buying it, and second, only Colonel Potter could send him home. So he gave her a tired salute and went away. After that, she finally locked her door and tried to get some sleep.
She was awaken some ten hours later, which must have been a record during this war, by someone trying to get into her tent.
"Who is it, for crying out loud?" Claudia shouted.
"The prince of your dreams."
She recognized the voice immediately, getting up to unlock the door. Hawkeye greeted her with a big smile and a light kiss on her cheek.
"Hi, Hawkeye. I heard you're thinking of changing your specialty."
"Huh?" His face twisted into a confused look, so Claudia felt obliged to clarify.
"To a veterinarian." Claudia slowly walked towards her cot and sat down. She still wasn't feeling 100%.
"Oh, yeah." Hawkeye said, finally understanding she was talking about the horse. "Well, I go where I'm needed." He shrugged, sitting down on a chair.
"Then don't go anywhere. You're needed here." Claudia said, offering him a drink. "You look tired."
"Yes. I had to get up at three to take out Margaret's appendix. And I finished work at midnight." He explained, not realizing where the conversation would go from there.
"So you finally got your hands on her, huh?" Claudia crossed her arms on her chest, staring at Hawkeye daringly.
"Oh, look who's jealous."
"Should I be, Mister Skillful Fingers?"
"Oh no, those fingers are just for you, Ma'am." He ran his fingers through her hair, turning her head towards his and kissing her roughly. "I missed kissing you."
"You kissed me yesterday."
"That's what I mean. It's been so long." He pressed himself against her again, his lips searching hers. Their lips crashed together with incredible passion, leaving both of them gasping for air and trembling with desire.
His tongue pushed her mouth open and she gave in his advances, letting him explore her. When he slowly ran his tongue along her bottom lip, she audibly moaned, her chest heaving. He liked hearing her enjoy his actions like that, so he let his lips slip down to her neck. He felt her hands slid under his shirt and ran up his back, stroking the skin lightly. Her breathing was irregular and frantic, coming out in loud gasp, as their bodies touched.
"Mmmm…" She was relishing in the feeling of his lips nibbling on her neck, when someone knocked on the door of her tent.
"No, no…" Hawkeye mumbled, not wanting to stop. Claudia disentangled herself from him and asked who it is.
"Sorry to bother you, Claudia." They could both clearly hear it was Colonel Potter's voice.
Hawkeye leaned back into the chair, letting her out of his arms with feeling of great annoyance. Claudia walked towards the door, fixing the state of her robe before opening.
"Yes, Colonel?" Hawkeye observed Claudia talking to the Colonel, the way she gestured wildly with her soft hands whose touch drove Hawkeye crazy every time and how her pink velvet lips moved when she talked. He sighed quietly, trying not to draw attention to himself and watched as Claudia accepted a package from the Colonel, then thanked him and closed the door again.
"So?" Hawkeye quickly stood up and moved to sit on the bed, so he was still facing Claudia. His eyebrows rose suggestively. "We're alone."
As she rushed to get to him, she put the package on the table and with it she sent all the letters on her table flying to the ground.
"I didn't know they were predicting snow today…" Hawkeye noted as he helped her pick up the letters. Then his eyes landed on a formal-looking letter that he was just holding in his hand. It was out of the envelope already, it seemed to be already read by Claudia and in it he inadvertently noticed the word executed. "What are these, Claudia?"
He took one look at her and knew instantly this was going to be a difficult topic. She suddenly turned paler, her eyes lost that spark they had just a minute ago and her posture got rigid. Putting the other correspondence away, she sat down, avoiding eye contact.
"Did you know the woman that got executed? How many letters like these did you get?" Hawkeye's voice cut like a knife through her. Of course she was aware her life was unusual, to say the least. Not many people were getting letters like this, were being interrogated like this by mail. But not talking about it helped her deny this reality.
"Claudia, tell me." Finally she looked at him, seeing how distressed this situation made him feel. She didn't tell anyone due to the same reason she didn't share many dire details about her life – she didn't want to shower people with another layer of sadness when this place offered so much of it already. But Hawkeye got close to her, too close to fall for her false happiness.
"Yes, I did know her. The US government requests additional information about the situation back home – the people, their connections to each other and so on. Sometimes they need help with a translation…" Her voice was raspy, far from her normal sing-songy tone. She paused to take a breath, but found it difficult to start speaking again. He grasped her hands in what he hoped was reassuring manner, stroking them gently.
"The woman that got executed, I mean it happened in June 1950, it takes a while for news to filter to me, ehm… she was a lawyer and a politician. During WWII she was a part of an underground resistance movement and got arrested and interrogated by Gestapo. After time in the concentration camp Terezín and various other prisons, she got liberated by the US forces. She was elected into the office and after the Communist Coup in 1948. Unlike my father, she chose not to emigrate."
Claudia did not resist when Hawkeye pulled her from the chair into his lap. He pressed a light on her cheek, noticing a few tears making their way down there. He knew his actions would probably make her stop talking, but he just could not stand how lost she looked. Adjusting his hands, he hugged her closer, with her side against his body. She fidgeted a little to find a more comfortable position and then settled. There was eerie silence.
"Did you know her?" Hawkeye asked finally.
"Not really. My father did. I mean Czechoslovakia is a small country. Its area is something like Mississippi, so everyone in politics and diplomacy knew each other. Still, the people who knew her helped sentence her to death in a mock trial orchestrated by Soviet Union advisors." She spat out the last word with hate. "Even petitions from Einstein, Churchill or Eleanor Roosevelt didn't save her." Tears were freely streaming down her face now, dripping onto her clothes. She continued, sharp intakes of breath often interrupting her speech. "Hanging isn't a good way to go. Especially how they did it then at Pankrác prison." She spoke so quietly now, he almost couldn't hear her. "It took thirteen minutes for her to die."
Hawkeye was struck by the strength Claudia exuded, even in a situation like this. He wondered how many horror stories she lived through and heard about. Somehow he was sure he only got to see the tip of the iceberg of the awfulness of the shadows she had to live with.