10.Never a God, maybe a Monster
"Woah! Careful were you are going!", Chat shouted from the roof across from her, while she balanced herself once more on the tips of her toes, almost missing the next step, falling down from these heights. "Quite mindless tonight, Milady? Are you sure should be out so late at night? Maybe you should go home and sleep. Yesterday has been late as well, I understand, if you are tired!"
Ladybug rolled her eyes, once both her feet were securely planted, again, and put her hands on her hips.
"I am not that tired" – she was, but she didn't want him to know. Especially not now, where she had planned this specific meeting for tonight.
"Then you are distracted, maybe? What is it? Your gorgeous husband, awaiting you most nakedly in your bed?"
"Urgh! Still no husband for me, Chat!", she called back.
Though… her mind was certainly clouded by a man. Not a naked one, but still most gorgeous.
Adrien…
If it hadn't been for work, they would have written each other messages without stopping. They did though, once she left, driving back to her home, smiling stupidly down to the screen of her phone, almost missing her stop.
Tikki even teased her, once she sat on her sofa, not even removing her shoes. For she – once again – was almost magnetically pulled towards Adrien's whole being. Just like once – a little over ten years ago.
For they shared silly little notes about their well-being. With him once more thanking – three times – her for visiting his mother, when he didn't. Asking a cute little questions about herself, about Emma and about their friends.
She answered immediately. Typing faster than ever. Smiled, giggled. Asked innocent questions in return.
It felt nice. Easy. A little distracting from all her duties and was a little heartwarming to have something good from the past back.
All the hardships around her melted away so simply…, just because Adrien was there, writing her the whole evening.
She had almost forgotten about the scheduled meeting with Chat Noir at midnight – though he had waited most patiently, when she was arriving a few minutes late.
And yet the young woman wondered, what Adrien might have written, when she bid him goodnight. If he had answered at all, or if he had fallen asleep, before he had seen her message.
… or if he was still waiting for an answer…
Chat Noir laughed from the other side of the roof and shook his head.
"I know – and still you are distracted. I can see that and I really hope, that we won't encounter an Akuma tonight… Don't want to face a villain, when your head is stuck in the clouds".
"I hope so too – though I am not distracted!"
"Sure~ And would you like to tell me now, where we are going – so I can guide you there, before we get lost, Bugaboo. And I certainly don't want to wander around at night, like a stray cat~"
"You already are a stray cat, kitty…"
He merely stuck his tongue out in her direction and she bit her lower lip to stifle her giggle – seemingly yet another effect from communicating with Adrien.
Gosh… feelings and emotions really were crazy things, weren't they?
"And now come on – we are almost there…"
Ladybug jumped to the next roof and the one after that, swinging down with her yo-yo with ease and landed graciously in front of a tall building, with huge windows by the entrance door and white painted walls.
A sign was over the door and once Chat Noir landed by her side, he looked up and read it, his eyes dilating for a moment in surprise.
"Mental Institution? Is there something we need to talk about? And who do you want to commit anyway?"
"Chat…", she sighed with some annoyance in her voice, "We are here because of Nathalie. Nathalie Sancoeur…"
"… Mayura…"
Chat Noir pressed his lips together into a thin line and clenched his fists. But he was dangerously quiet for the moment, eventually followed her up the stairs to the door.
"So…When she is here and not in a prison… then… what are we talking about?"
"Signs of heavy depressions. Anxieties. Forms of abnormal aggressions…"
"What?"
Chat stopped her by laying a hand on her shoulder, pulling, until she turned back around again.
His green eyes fixed on hers, searching for answers for all the questions that started to rise.
Ladybug gulped and looked with determination up to his handsome face, ready to answer.
"The doctors believe, that the breaking point of her mental health was caused by the frequent use of the magical – yet broken – Peacock Miraculous…"
His eyes widened and he took a step back, his hands falling loosely to his sides. He paled and his breath was coming shakily from his lips.
"But what about my m- What about Emilie Agreste? She had used the broken Peacock Miraculous as well! What about her mental health?!"
She raised her hands, putting them now on his shoulders, hoping it would calm him down.
"Remember? Gabriel Agreste tried to repair the Miraculous… But instead of completely fixing it, he might have caused so much more damage on it. I personally believe, that it might have effected Nathalie in an even worse way… Harming her. Not physically… But mentally… Also… there might be something else, that might have worked as some catalyst against her mental state…"
"A catalyst?"
"That worked with the already damaged Peacock Miraculous… yes… Haven't you ever asked yourself, why she was helping Gabriel for all those years without questioning his motives?"
"She was his assistant", he bluntly said.
"She loved him… Unrequited, for Gabriel was always trying to get our Miraculous in his hands to bring Emilie back. He loved her. Never Nathalie…"
Chat pulled a bitter face, nervously scratching the back of his head.
"So… broken heart?"
"Mhm~… the worst kind…"
"And…Emilie Agreste? She-"
"… is merely caught in this state of magical unconsciousness. I know that Adrien and Gabriel wouldn't agree, but I think she is better off with that. And I certainly hope, that the doctors will one day find a cure for that. For Nathalie on the other hand – lifelong therapies and strong medicines and it's unclear, if she is ever allowed to leave this place…"
"Gosh…" He looked over her shoulder and towards the entrance doors again. "Then… why are we here? You believe, that she might give us glues about our Lady Titalee? Is it even safe for her, if we talk to her?"
"I asked her doctors and they gave us their okay – one will be watching at all times…"
He nodded, before a sad smirk reached his features.
"And what if she is already sleeping?"
"She will get her last medication at around 1 a.m. So we still have a few minutes…"
"You really checked everything we needed!"
"It had taken us two years to bring Hawk Moth down – don't want to repeat that with Lady Titalee. So we take everything we can get…"
"Right~"
He nodded, took a deep breath and they finally walked inside.
This mental institution was unlike those one can see in movies and on TV. It was a friendly place, painted in warm and welcoming colors, with big, break-proof glass in the windows and friendly, smiling personnel. There really was the feeling, that those people, who were working here tried their very best to help the patients.
Ladybug sometimes had the feeling, that Gabriel Agreste himself was the reason for Nathalie to be committed here. Maybe with the help of his money, maybe because of his name.
… maybe because – in the very end – Nathalie had made herself a name in the past with her crimes she committed alongside Agreste. That of the Peacock Miraculous wielding villain Mayura.
"Ladybug!", a blonde elderly woman eventually called, rushing over to them with a clipboard pressed against her chest and smiling brightly, "And Chat Noir! I welcome you warmly in these walls. It's a very late visit, though and I have to warn you highly, that Madame Sancoeur might not be cooperating with you tonight. She had a quite moody day and is in need for her medication".
"We can leave and come back on any other day, Madame", Ladybug immediately answered, shortly locking eyes with Chat, who nodded in agreement. "We don't want to cause any inconvenience to your institution, or to Nathalie…"
The woman nodded, pressing the clipboard even more tightly to her chest and shook her head hastily.
"Oh no – she is awaiting you. She will be ready at least for a little chat – the outcome is depending on her mood, that is true. Also there will be a doctor attending your meeting, to make sure, that talking won't cause any more damage to Madame Sancoeur's mental health – intervene if needed. I dearly hope, that it won't be a problem for you…"
"It won't", Chat answered for her and she smiled towards her partner, sensing, that their work was starting to get synchronous again and after all these years. "And as Ladybug said – we don't want to cause any inconvenience. We are just hoping, that she might help us in this case with the current Akuma attacks…"
"I hope she can", said the woman, her smile failing for a few seconds and she lowered her eyes to the ground. "There are already so many patients in therapy with traumatic experiences and aftereffects from past attacks. Still to this day, even though you guys took Hawk Moth down ten years ago. Well… at least those, who can afford those treatments…"
The corners of Chat Noir's lips dropped as well, a frown forming on this handsome features, but he chose to stay quiet about it – at least for now. But Ladybug wondered, if he might come up with questions about it later – after their visit here, or maybe on another day. Times were he demanded answers right away seemed to be over and she didn't want to rub her knowledge in on him right now.
"Now you two, follow me! I will bring you to Madame Sancour!"
The woman brought them to a spacious room, behind a double door, down the corridor. Many tables were to be found here, usually accompanied by two chairs, sometimes by three. Colorful paintings were on the walls – abstract, but showering the room with a happy, positive feeling. The windows here were huge again, locks prevented the patients to open them on their own. Shelves and cupboards were seen, every few meters apart, storing boards games, crafty materials and many things more.
In the corner of this very room sat an old man, watching the happening in front of him, scribbling down something on paper, when they entered. He merely greeted them with a nod, but said nothing at all.
The only other person in this room was of course Nathalie Sancoeur, sitting casually on the chair with one leg crossed over the looking out into the darkness, while a slim cigarette tangled between her fingers, the smoke and it's smell filling the space around her.
The red streak in her hair was long gone, a few Grey ones shining through the black of her long tresses, that were combed back neatly in a ponytail. Instead of her usual red and black attire she wore a simple, light blue shirt, some gray joggers on her legs, slippers adorning her feet.
No sign of makeup on her skin. No smile. No gleam in her eyes, that almost hid behind her glasses.
She merely blew smoke into the air, when she saw the two heroes emerging through the door, pushing the cigarette out into the ashtray in front of her, before she took the next one, lighting it with ease.
"Madame Sancoeur – your guests. I will return in a few minutes with your medication and bring you to your room after that…", the woman kindly informed her patient, then left with a smile.
Both Ladybug and Chat Noir hesitated, not yet sitting on the chairs in front of them, standing in front of Nathalie and the table with noticeable uneasiness.
"You may sit", the woman merely said, pointing on the chairs with her free hand, her blue eyes fixing on Ladybug's face. "If a hero can stand the proximity to one, who is broken by the uses of Magic…"
"Broken by Magic?", Ladybug calmly asked, her eyebrows rising and she finally sat on the chair right in front of her, facing Nathalie without fear. "Falling in love and getting your heart broken was not the fault of the Miraculous…"
"A broken Miraculous…", Nathalie corrected and turned around for a moment to face her doctor, seemed to consider something, before she turned back to face both heroes. "Fixed – sure, but broken nonetheless. Maybe Gabriel shouldn't have tried to fix it – at least then I would have fallen the same destiny like Emilie in the end…"
"Comatose, magical sleep isn't the solution to your problem…", Chat murmured bitterly and shook his head. "But we are not here to talk about your fate…"
"Aren't we?"
"Nathalie, there is-"
"I know about Lady Titalee. Even in these four walls I am able to get information if needed. Patients regularly get visits. Some read the newspapers. Letters are brought in daily. There is a TV over there. I might be locked away here, but I am very aware of the world outside… Ladybug and Chat Noir – you might forget – people here are not dumb, they are merely-"
"Broken…", Ladybug whispered and Nathalie nodded.
"Exactly. Just like a piece of magical jewelry. And just like that we are back at the beginning…"
The woman took a deep breath, her lips closing around her cigarette and inhaled the smoke deeply in her lungs, letting it blow out through her nostrils.
She then pushed the small package into their direction, offering them a cigarette silently, watching both closely.
Chat Noir merely shook his head, while Ladybug grabbed it and handed it back to Nathalie, trying to smile warmly at her, hoping that friendliness would get them more answers, than cold stoicism.
"We don't smoke…"
Nathalie snorted and shook her head slightly.
"Of course… heroes don't do that, right? Something as sinful as smoking is only meant for villains. Though it merely depends on how history is seen by the people, who speak about it…"
It was Chat Noir, who angrily blew air through his nostrils and crossed his arms in front of his chest, his faked ears sitting flat on top of his head.
Ladybug patted his knee under the table and she saw, how some tension left his body. Nonetheless he spoke with a pressed voice:
"You make it seem, like the people of Paris misunderstood your actions. You-"
"I only did, what I thought was best for my relationship with Gabriel. Helping him, as the assistant, that I always was in his eyes… And yet – who were we? Two mere humans, that used the power of Gods to bring destruction upon this city like monsters…"
Ladybug gulped, understanding the deep turmoil within the other woman, even without her explaining it even more. For all she did, was helping the man she loved – even if that meant, that this very man could bring back the love of his life in the very end with it.
With the help of the two Miraculous…
Of course she found the similarities, that Nathalie might be hinting at - between Hawk Moth and Mayura, Ladybug and Chat Noir. For there had been love. One-sided. There had been the kwamis and their powers and the constant cat and mouse game of destruction and creation between all parties.
And everybody believed, that they were doing the right thing. Like gods… but maybe they all behaved like monsters in the end…
Ladybug gulped and looked over to Chat Noir, who seemed to be thinking about Nathalie's words as well.
She shook her head, eyes fixing on the other woman's face.
Because… for Gabriel it had only business as usual – with a henchwoman he trusted, an assistant, who had been by his side for many years. Nathalie and later Mayura could help him to stay under cover, help him plot and execute his plans. Nothing more. Feelings? Maybe on a friendly base and yet they were always on a professional side.
… but never love…
"Our actions might have been of an evil nature and yet we didn't mean any harm... And yet it felt so easy each time. Manipulating everybody around, in hope to have both Miraculous – the Ladybug and the Cat one – in one hand. For a wish…"
"'Never meant any harm'", Chat Noir hissed by her side and he stood up, walking over to one window to gaze outside, just like Nathalie has done before. "… How many people are facing trauma everyday because of your actions? Have nightmares? Perhaps physical harm – things a Lucky Charm couldn't fix in the very end. How many times was the Eiffel Tower destroyed. The streets and cars in it? Other possessions… And now you sit here and say these things so easily, because you will never see the consequences of your actions".
"We only tried to-", Nathalie growled, but stopped, once the doctor – who seemed to be almost forgotten by all three – cleared his throat. The black haired woman took three deep breaths and she rubbed her temple. Closing her eyes, taking her cigarette between her shaking lips and faced Ladybug once more. "Emilie… All, that Gabriel wanted, was to wake her up. Nothing more. If he had asked, would you have given him both Miraculous? For his wish?"
Giving Gabriel what he wanted… the Miraculous. Both. Granting him his wish. Waking Emilie up with that. Would she have done it, if he had asked? Just like that?
She didn't know to answer to that…
"And where were you in this equation?", came it yet from Chat Noir, who was still facing the darkness outside. "You would have been crossed out of it…"
Both women chose to ignore him.
… though… Ladybug wondered, how deep Chat's hatred was running for both Gabriel and Nathalie, if he was saying all of these things.
Would he tell her, if she asked him? Now – where she tried to build her trust for him as well…
Ladybug sighed.
"Nathalie…", their eyes locked, when Nathalie looked back up again: "…, I know, that we shouldn't be asking you all these things. And yet we are here, wanting your help to prevent all the things, that happened before. So if you have any clue – just a feeling about Lady Titalee… it would be most helpful…"
"And yet I don't have a clue, nor a feeling…", she immediately answered and a tiny smile crossed her features. "I am most sorry, but I can't be of any assistance for you. I hope, that there are other people out there, that can answer your questions… Have you – perhaps – talked about this with Gabriel? Did he… maybe mention me in any way?"
"Nathalie…", came it warningly from the doctor, who looked sternly up from his notes. "We talked about these kind of questions…"
"Of course…", she said, shrugging, pushing this very cigarette bud into the ash tray once more, but didn't take another this time. "Asking doesn't hurt anyone…"
It did – at least it would hurt herself. Ladybug could tell that – especially since she would never get an answer to that…
… especially not a disappointing one…
"… so… ", Ladybug yet said, directing their conversation back to where she wanted it. "… nothing? Is there not at least somebody, you think about, that could fit into the mold of a new Paris terrorizing villain?"
"Chloé Bourgeois, of course…"
"Of course…", Chat agreed, turning around slightly and tapped his chin with his leathered fingers. "We should pay her a visit as well…"
"See… just ask your partner. He might be the one with the clues in this room. And now – if you excuse me", she stood up and took her cigarettes, leaving the lighter on the table. "… I am awaiting my medications. And I am most sorry, that you couldn't help you with this case".
Ladybug looked towards the clock over the door and frowned, seeing, that they still had a few minutes left to talk.
But on the other hand – and the doctor in the corner would surely agree – would it be best for Nathalie's mental health, if they stopped right there, before speaking would course any more harm.
"Then good night, Nathalie…", Ladybug said, standing as well. "And thank you for your time and assistance…"
The other woman merely smiled, as she walked past the dotted heroine, soon accompanied by the doctor.
"It had always been my job, Ladybug. You know that… And good night to you as well… Monsieur Noir"
And she was gone, walking through the door and leaving the two heroes behind and alone.
Yet, before they left as well, she faced her partner, who hang his shoulders in defeat, his eyes sad and his expression beaten.
"We really need to talk about a few things, do we?", Ladybug asked, her eyebrows rising underneath the mask on her forehead. She was deeply concerned – for him and for their partnership, since there seemed to be many things, they still needed to talk about.
If… he wanted to… and she as well…
He on the other hand was able to bring a tiny smirk on his features and nodded.
"… should I search for a sofa and you try your best Freudian impression on me?"
"If it wouldn't reveal too much about yourself, if the Eiffel Tower is enough, instead of a sofa and if you really want to, then I might be open for another hour or two…"
"Are these some new team-building methods? Will you bring Rena Rouge and Carapace and we will talk it out in an intervention?"
"No… but I am willing to have an open ear for you. As a friend…"
He smiled warmly, when he heard that and she bit her tongue – remembering the night before, where he was the one, who was asking for this very friend.
… and yet it was true – she was willing to do her best to be his friend his partner once more. Like he tried before…
"I would love to have a friend…", he finally said and she couldn't help, but smile as well.
A/N: I love Nathalie. She is definitely my favorite villain and I really wonder, if she snaps, once Emilie awakens. She clearly has feelings for Gabriel and he... I don't know. I would love to have Emilie for him back, but also I want the relationship between him and Nathalie even more explored in season 4 and 5.But for now she doesn't know more - or is not willing to help. Some more of her in the future.Also - yeah - there is this stupid headcanon, that I see her as a smoker. It suits her, I supposeNext chapter: Reviewing the meeting and dark happenings in the past...