Hello again. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but I'm here again with yet another chapter. I don't really want to be here, and no one has really asked me to be here, but continue on I shall. Everytime I sit down at my computer to write something, I get a terrible sense of foreboding. Maybe god himself desires for me to stop writing. Well, whatever. Ooflord21000 out.
Somewhere in Naples
Ennard's P.O.V
"So… anyone remember to bring a map?" I asked, realising that we were lost. "I have a lot of things in my suit, but a map isn't one of them." William said as he rummaged through his insides. "I don't even have pockets." Mikey said with a sigh. I looked over at Jake, only to see him holding a map. "Well that's overly convient!" I proclaimed. I then grabbed Jake's map, took one look at it, then handed it to Mikey. "What? I can't read a map." I explained. "Whatever, let's see here… I guess we're near the 'Bar Mexico'." Mikey said as he looked at the map.
"Ah, my favorite place to get drunk, Bar Mexico." William said in a mocking tone, showing his amusement with the name. "Salsa, now with one hundred percent more alcohol!" I said, chiming in with my own comic genius. "Not funny, didn't laugh." Mikey said. "Bully." I said, internally crying. "Anyway, where would a mafia even be? How does one find a mafia?" William asked, rubbing his chin like a detective in an eighties movie. "Well, a mafia is pretty much an unofficial government, so they must have a police force. So if I blow a building up, they'll come running!" I explained, already unpacking a stick of dynamite from my chest cavity.
"That works, let me see… ah ha! There's an orphanage not too far from here! If we blow that up I can guarantee we'll get some form of attention." Mikey said, pointing to a place on the map two lines away from us. "That'll do." I said. It was really only a minute long walk, so it didn't exactly take too long. "Here we are!" I said with a smile. "Before you blow it up, I need to relieve some stress." said William, who was already pulling out an Uzi. "You didn't have a map, but you had a gun?" I said, my confusion evident. "America." he replied. "Yes." I agreed. Without another word between us, William walked into the building.
After several minutes, he walked out of the building. "Alright, blow it to the sky, I want to get home so I can turn this stupid illusion disk off." he said. I nodded, pulling a match out og my arm, striking it on the pavement. "Bombs away!" I yelled, throwing a now lit stick of dynamite into the orphanage, followed by exactly seventeen more. "With a bang and a crack, the building went up, not a soul was left living, not even a cup." I said, bowing right as the building exploded. A cup suddenly landed in front of me, in perfect condition. "God damn it!" I yelled, kicking the immortal cup away.
"So… we just wait?" asked Michael. "Don't ask me, ask the poet over there." William replied, gesturing to me. "I guess. I mean, it's not like they didn't see that." I said, taking a seat on the remains of a chair. "What if the actual cops show up?" asked Michael. "We throw Jake at them and run." I explained, snickering at Jake's expression. "I suppose that's a good idea, I can just take his eye, strap bombs to the rest of him and throw him. His body will kill the cops, and Bobert can rebuild him from the eye." William said with a smirk.
Out of nowhere, a bullet found its way into my head, piercing right through my illusion disk. "Who the hell did that!?" I yelled, summoning Can't Hide behind me. "Probably that guy." William said, pointing at a man who was wearing the tackiest outfit I'd ever seen. "Are those… red zebra print pants?" I asked slowly. The man was holding a purple revolver, and also had six tiny yellow things flying around him.
"Bruh, what kinda lame ass Stand is that?" I asked, pitting this man more and more. "And… his outfit looks like a festive checkers board." Michael pointed out. The man fired another two shots, only for them to be grabbed my Stand. Looking a little closer, I noticed that two of those little things were on them. They both kicked their respective bullets, sending one flying into William's face, and the other into Michael's knee.
"You call that a gun boy!?" yelled William. He then pulled a submachine gun out of his leg. "This is a gun!" he yelled, he then slammed the trigger back, sending a stream of bullets at the man. "Wait… his Stand is kicking them all back!" I yelled, only to be met with enough bullets to make a small hole through my body. Overlayed the legs of my Stand with my own, using them to boost myself right in front of the man. I swung my arm, just barely missing my swing.
Before I could get back up, an arm found its way through my chest. Unlike the last time this happened, it didn't just pull itself out. The arm slammed me down onto the ground, slashing my in half, as well as sending pieces of me everywhere. "That was just rude!" I yelled, trying to repair my body. I looked through another one of my eyes, spotting the Stand. The Stand was odd looking. It was mostly an ugly brown color, similar to a table. In fact, it looked like its body was made of nailed together wooden planks. Kind of like a stick figure. The only difference was that its head was missing, instead having a giant burning candle.
"Ugh, that hurt you know!" I yelled, resummoning my Stand just in time to block another strike. "Wait, my arms locking up." I said. I looked down at my arm to find that it was slowly getting covered in… candle wax? "What kind of ability covers a guy in candle wax?" I asked rhetorically. I made my Stand move back away from the enemy, knowing that this wouldn't go well if I was frozen in wax. I looked around, eventually finding the user.
The user looked like a monk of some sorts, with the red robe thing and all. He was also balancing two candles on his hands. "Ain't you monks supposed to be against violence or something?" I asked. I received my answer in the form of the Stand's fist coming at me. I dodged by letting my wires collapse into a pile. I quickly reformed in time to bring my Stand's fist to bare on the Stand's torso. The Stand was… unaffected? "Your attacks are useless, boy. My Stand, Dripping, has the ability to cover a being with wax, more forming depending on how much force is applied." the monk explained. Sure enough, my Stand's arm was covered up to the shoulder.
"Well that's just annoying!" I yelled, dodging past another strike. The Stand then proceeded to land a punch on my Stand's jaw, coating its entire lower jaw. I felt my own jaw lock up as well. I guest if nothing else, this shows that if my Stand is incompasitated, I am as well. I dodged yet another punch, and a kick this time. I began slowly coming up with a plan. I searched through blueprints in the back of my head, eventually finding the Funtime Freddy one. Looking over it, I managed to find what I was looking for. In the center of the body, there was an unfoldable claw.
Before I could do much, I received a punch to my Stand's other arm, and a kick to its left leg. "You can think you've one all you want pal, but I've already achieved victory!" I yelled, prompting my Stand's chest cavity to open, releasing a claw that quickly extended and grabbed the enemy Stand. I walked forwards, past the incompasitated Stand. You see, the claw in the stomach had a longer reach than the enemy Stand's arm length, meaning I was home free. I walked up to the monk, kicking him in the head hard enough to unsummon his Stand, taking the wax with it.
"You're royally screwed." I said. I picked him up with Can't Hide. "Have you ever felt what a machine gun that fires metal boxing gloves feels like?" I asked the mildly injured man. When he gave no response, I took it as a no. Well, who would I be to deny him such a thing? I had my Stand chuck him into the air, only for him to come down into an absolute mess of punches. After about a minute, I stopped, catching him again. I gave him my signature smile, then proceeded to smash his skull into bloody dust with my fist.
"Well, that was fun. What's everyone else up to?"