A/N: someone wondered if Watty might have written Rivers Between Us for Virginia. Yes, that was exactly what I wanted people to think when they read it.

Deacon

Not surprisingly, she was already at Sound Check when he got there. He walked into the room and put his bag down on the table and leaned his guitar case against the wall. "Sorry I'm late," he said.

She looked up from her phone and shook her head. "You're not. The girls were both spending the day with friends, so I decided to just come on over." She slipped the phone into her purse and gave him a quick smile. "Thanks for doing this. I know you probably would have liked to just stay up there."

He frowned as he sat. "No, no, it's alright. I know we got to decide on some things pretty quick." He looked closely at her. "How's everything going?" He thought she looked a little tense around the eyes and the vibe he got from her wasn't the usual relaxed vibe he would have expected, now that she'd been home a few weeks.

She didn't quite look him straight in the eye. "Good. It's good. The girls are all wired up for Christmas." She smiled then. "Maddie's about to drive herself crazy, though, trying to find the right gift for you."

He laughed a little. "Tell her she don't gotta worry about me. Christmas isn't no big deal."

"But you're a big deal to her. Is there at least something I could suggest to her?"

He thought about that for a minute. He bit down on his lip. "Well, my tape player finally died on me, so Scarlett helped me get one of those DVD things. So she maybe could get a DVD or something?"

She gave him a sly smile. "Do you have Old Yeller on DVD yet?"

"Uh, no."

"I'll let her know that's your favorite movie and that you need that. So you'll be ready for your annual birthday viewing." She laughed.

He knew she was teasing him a bit. She had only watched it with him once. Then she told him it wasn't how she wanted to spend his birthday, so she would leave him alone to watch it. He supposed it was as good as any gift he could get. "Well, thanks. That would be great." He had gotten Maddie a songbook, so she could practice her guitar chords. She'd confided in him that she'd been using one of the guitars in Rayna's music room. I mean, she doesn't ever use them, so somebody should. He smiled again. "Well, so should we look at some of those demos?" he asked, changing the subject.

She pushed the tracks across the table. "Yeah. Plus Watty gave me a song. I had lunch with him yesterday and he mentioned he'd written a song years ago that he'd never recorded himself. He sent it over and, at first listen, it's really pretty amazing. It's kind of a sad love song though. Two people and an old love. I feel like he must have written it about someone specific, but he said no. Anyway, it's really beautiful and I think I might like to do it. Well, if you like it too, that is."

He shrugged. "If Watty wrote it, I'm sure it's great. And if you like it, we'll do it." He looked at the demos she'd pushed across the table. He picked out one written by Craig Wiseman, Finding My Way Back Home. "Let's try this first. Craig always writes good ones." He got up and put it in to listen. They sat back and listened through it twice. It had a nice cadence to it and he thought they could amp it up a little for her. He liked the idea of finding her way back. It wasn't too personal, but the words resonated. He hoped they did for her. When it ended the second time, he looked over at her. "What did you think?"

She nodded. "I still like it. Could we do something with it? Maybe make it little more upbeat?"

He smiled. Even though they hadn't written together in a very long time, they still were in sync on how a song should sound. "That's exactly what I was thinking." The other 4 still sounded as good as they'd thought they would when she'd put them on hold. They talked about the arrangements and then he picked up his guitar so they could run through them with music and vocals, just to see where there would need to be harmonizing. He looked up at the clock and saw that it was nearly 2:00. "Do you need to pick up the girls?"

She shook her head. "No. Teddy's doing that."

"Well, you want to look at Watty's song?"

She sighed. "I'm a little tired. Maybe we could meet tomorrow? I can show you the 2 songs I have and then I've sort of scribbled some notes on another one maybe you could help me with."

He nodded. "Sure. Sounds good." He took the demos, along with Watty's, and put them in his bag and then got up and put away his guitar. When he turned back, she was still sitting there, looking like she was thinking about something.

She looked up. "There's a lot going on right now," she said.

He frowned. "What do you mean? Like the album?" he sat back down.

She shook her head. "No. it's nothing to do with that. Not all of it anyway." She looked like she wasn't sure what, if anything, she wanted to say. Then she waved her hand. "You know, it's the holidays, and I wasn't planning for an album. It's just a lot." She smiled then. "I'm fine."

"I'm not sure you are, though, Rayna," he said.

She gave him an exasperated look. "Deacon, I have a lot going on in my life. But it's really the same thing that's always going on. I'm an artist and I tour and that means I'm away from my family a lot. I'm trying to be a good mom, a good wife, during tour breaks, and when I'm not on tour I'm preparing for one, sometimes at the same time I'm trying to put out a new album. I wasn't planning on doing that this year, but, you know, it's getting harder and harder to stay relevant and fight back the younger artists." She shook her head. "All you have to do is work out a good plan for my tour and make sure everyone is ready. Then you can go home and write music and perform around town when we're off the road. You don't have two girls to raise or the headaches of keeping everyone afloat."

He stood back up. He knew he shouldn't let her get under his skin and he knew he needed to just listen, but he'd never really been good at that kind of thing. "Well, I'm sorry for being one of your headaches," he said tersely. He picked up his bag and then walked over to get his guitar. "Maybe if you let people help you, or maybe just let me help you, I mean, you don't gotta do this all on your own." He took two steps towards the door, then turned back. "I'm not gonna assume we're meeting tomorrow, so you just let me know when you're ready." Then he turned on his heel and left.

Rayna

He let the door slam behind him and she put her foot on the chair next to her and pushed it away angrily. She wanted to cry, but she knew if she did, she might never stop. She felt herself at the breaking point though and she was afraid of what she might do or say. She reached for her purse and pulled out her phone. She looked through her contacts and found the one she was looking for. She pressed call and lifted the phone to her ear.

"Hello," came the voice on the other end.

"Hey, it's Rayna," she said. "I hate to bother you this time of year, but I was wondering if you might have some time for me."

"Of course. Just tell me when."

As she drove, she glanced around her at the stately mansions. The lights in the windows seemed warm and welcoming, most with Christmas lights and Christmas trees twinkling in the windows. It always seemed so homey, but she knew it was a façade. Most people, she knew, would think it was a privilege to grow up in a place like this, with every need and want satisfied. Most people wouldn't know that it could still be painful and hollow, even in the most exclusive neighborhood in town. She pulled into the parking lot of the unassuming 2 story office building right on the edge of Belle Meade. She turned off the car and sat back in her seat. She was a little early. It was already dark. Darkness fell quickly in the winter months. Many of the businesses around the area were still open, but the office building in front of her was mostly dark, although the lobby lights were on.

She thought she had covered herself pretty well at Sound Check, but Deacon still could read her like a book, so it wasn't surprising that he pushed a little. One of the amazing things about the two of them was how well they knew each other. It served them well on stage, even now. He understood what she wanted, could deliver it flawlessly. She felt grateful that hadn't changed, that even with the change in their relationship, that part still hummed along. But he also knew the things she kept inside. She wasn't sure if it was because he had also grown up in a dysfunctional family, but he seemed to be able to see inside her soul, much the way she could with him. Maybe it was because, for so long, it was just the two of them and they'd had to depend completely on each other. Maybe it was the music. Whatever it was, she always had to be careful with him not to show too much.

She had felt a sense of peace as soon as she'd disconnected the phone at Sound Check. She didn't reach out to Dr. Gray often these days. But this business with Teddy and with how tense and uncomfortable things were, she felt like she needed a booster shot, as she thought of these one-off sessions. She got out of the car then and made her way across the parking lot to the lobby doors. It was chilly and a bit windy and she could feel it in her bones. She pressed the buzzer and a minute later she heard the click and she opened it and walked in, letting the door close behind her. She got on the elevator and went up to the second floor. When she got off the elevator, she walked down a back hallway and knocked on an unmarked door.

The door opened to a petite gray-haired woman, with a kind face and a ready smile. "Rayna, come on in," she said, standing back so Rayna could enter. Dr. Gray walked her directly to her office. Even though it was after hours and there was no one else there, her sessions had always taken place in such a way as to protect her privacy. Dr. Gray gestured towards the chair perpendicular to her desk.

"Thank you for seeing me on such short notice," she said, with a grateful smile.

"I'm just glad you called. It's been a while," Dr. Gray said, as they both sat. "Tell me what brings you here."

She sat with her hands in her lap, trying to decide where to start. "I really never thought I'd be coming to see you about Teddy," she said finally. "But his professional life kind of imploded recently and then I found out he was having an affair." She breathed in, looking up at the ceiling, then back at the therapist. "Although I suspect maybe those two things were happening at the same time."

"I did hear about Teddy's business deal. Did that create the issues or is it this affair?"

"It's both. First it was just the business deal, because I found out he used a lot of our joint savings. Without telling me. Which put us in a precarious position, obviously. Then I got these pictures, of him and an old girlfriend, who he was apparently working with on this business deal."

"And these pictures showed them having an affair?"

She shook her head. "Not exactly, although he was hugging her and she was putting her hand on his face and they were standing very close together. It looked really...intimate. He said it was nothing, that she was going through a bad time and he was being a friend."

"But you didn't believe that?"

"I wanted to. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. I mean, he's my husband and he's been such a rock for me and he's a good father for our girls. At first I held him at arms' length, but then I decided I needed to trust him, rely on what I knew to be true."

"But it sounded like something else happened."

She nodded. "I found out he'd somehow accessed my business accounts too. And then I received an envelope with 3 pictures of him and this old girlfriend and there was no longer any question about what was going on." She had felt in control up to that point, but the tears came and she put her hands over her mouth, leaning over. She took a couple of deep breaths, trying to settle herself. Dr. Gray waited her out. She took one more breath and reached out for a tissue, dabbing at her eyes. She smiled a little and shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Rayna. That's a hard blow. Do you have a plan?"

She barked out a laugh. "Teddy's been sleeping in the guest room for the most part. I've already told him he has to leave after the holidays. I just can't ruin Christmas for Maddie and Daphne. It just feels like such a horrible time for this to come out. I had to extend my tour and now I have to put out another record and, since I wasn't planning for that, I'm kind of in a bad place."

"When do you have to have the album out?"

"By the time the tour starts, which is late April. I don't have enough songs, so I'm trying to write." She paused. "I'm even having to consider writing with Deacon. Which I don't know that I really want to do."

"You and Deacon haven't been together in nearly 10 years though. Isn't that enough separation?"

"You would think," she said. "But Deacon and I have this complicated relationship and it gets all tangled up in the music. And with everything going on in my life, I just don't know how it would go."

"Are you concerned that it might lead you somewhere you don't want to go?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Like I said, the relationship is so complex."

"Do you still have feelings for him?"

She felt a tear trickle down the side of her face and tapped at it with the tissue. "I think I'll always have feelings for him, but it's just an impossible situation."

"Do you know if he feels the same?"

She nodded slowly. "That's what complicates it. But there's too much history. Too much pain. And too many secrets."

"What are you looking for here, Rayna?"

"I don't know. Maybe some reinforcement that I can do this. My family is going to implode and I've got to be the one to hold us together."

Dr. Gray smiled. "It doesn't have to always be you, Rayna. You know that. But perhaps you focus on your daughters for a while. If you and your husband are separating, then they'll need your support. They'll be looking to you to help get them through this. Can you just focus on them?"

"I'll have to try."

"You know, one of the things I've always known about you is that your daughters are the most important people in your life. And when it comes to them, you're fierce in protecting them. I think you'll find that strength again. Focus on that. Focus on them." She paused. "Think about it this way. You've gone from your childhood home to Deacon to Teddy. You need to take some time. You need to heal and your daughters need to heal, so spend some time doing that."

She nodded. "You're right. That's what I need to do. I just don't want to go backward. I think it would be easy for me to do that, so I have to be careful."

"You know you can always come here, if you need some reinforcement."

She smiled. "I do know that. And I appreciate being able to do this." She stood and Dr. Gray did as well, coming around the desk to take her hand.

"You have that strength inside you, Rayna. You'll be fine in the end."

"Thanks, Dr. Gray. I really appreciate your time."

As she headed for home, she knew she needed a minute, to figure out her next steps, without any complications. She reached for her phone. "Hey," she said, when Deacon answered. "I do need to skip tomorrow. How about the day after? And maybe not at Sound Check."

Deacon

She never told him where to meet, so he took a chance. He turned off the main road and wound around to a stone bridge that crossed over one of the creeks in Belle Meade. It was a surprisingly secluded place in the midst of the most exclusive neighborhood in Nashville. She had told him once that sometimes she'd come here with her mother, sitting by the creek that could flow gently or rage through like white water rapids. There was a random picnic table there and it became somewhere they could come and talk, especially during the months and years they were working towards friendship.

As he crossed over the bridge, he saw her sitting on the table, her face towards the sun. He parked behind her, got out of his truck, and made his way down the hill. She watched him, a smile on her face, and he climbed up on the table to sit next to her. "Thanks for coming," she said.

"I figured you needed some time."

She nodded. "Yeah." She bit on her lip for a second. "I can't even think about writing right now. Don't worry, I will, but I needed to sort of figure some things out first." She sighed. "I feel like I need to tell you what's going on, sort of, just so you understand where things are and what I can do right now."

"You know you don't have to," he said.

She smiled again, looking at him. "I know, but it's been wearing on me and it's gotten in our way. I know you don't understand why I've been acting the way I have and I just feel like, you know, I owe you some kind of explanation." She hugged her arms around her waist and rocked just a little bit, looking out at the creek. Then she turned back to him, squinting against the sunlight. "I'm not going to go into every little detail, but, uh, Teddy will be moving out after the holidays."

He raised his eyebrows. "You're getting divorced?"

She shrugged. "He's just moving out at this point. It's complicated, but, you know, ever since his business deal went bad, things have been...different. I don't want to do this right now, with Christmas coming, for the girls." He nodded. "But it's been kind of a complex situation I've had to work through, in my head and in my heart." She looked at him carefully. "I need to focus on my girls and helping them through this."

"When are you telling them?"

"That weekend after Christmas."

He frowned. "Are you canceling the tour?"

She shook her head. "No. Teddy and I are going to split custody, for now at least. We'll alternate weeks at the house, so the girls' schedules aren't disrupted. We'll work out tour scheduling to facilitate that. I'll have the girls out with me on my weekends and then every other week in the summer. So it'll be fine. But I need some time to, you know, be there for them, help them adjust to the change, and figure out what's next for me." She looked tired, he thought. "Do you realize that I have not really lived on my own in my entire life?"

There was some time in there where things were murky for him, at best, but he had no cause to dispute her, so he nodded. "I guess that's true."

"I've got to give myself a minute, to figure out what's next for me, besides taking care of my girls."

"Makes sense." He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry you're having to go through this, Ray. And especially at the holidays."

She gave him a sad smile. "Thanks. I think I'm still a little numb. It's Maddie and Daphne I'm more worried about. They think Teddy hung the sun and the moon." She turned to dig into her purse, then brought out some sheets of paper folded in half. She handed them to him. "These are 2 songs I've written plus the start of some lyrics for a third. I'd really like for you to take a look at them and critique them."

"I'm sure they're great."

She smiled. "You're biased, I think, but I still would like another set of eyes. I've done a little work with the music, but that's where I might need more of your help. I'd like to get back together the week between Christmas and New Year's and do some work on them. Get them finished." She made a face. "Teddy will be at the house then, so I'll probably be at Tandy's." She took a deep breath and sat up straight. "Lots of change. I just want to do right by my girls."

He rubbed his hands over his face. He had really not expected this and he felt like an ass for how he had been behaving. He looked over at her, thinking she looked stronger than he would have guessed, based on what she'd shared. "I'm sorry, Ray," he said. "I been a jerk to you and, well, I'm real sorry."

She smiled at him. "I know. I kept it inside, hoping maybe it would change and that I wouldn't have to tell you. So I get it. I'm sorry too." She patted the sheets of paper and then stood up and stepped off the table. "Thanks, Deacon. I haven't told anyone else yet..."

He shook his head, interrupting her. "I won't say nothing to anybody." He desperately wanted to hug her, just to provide some comfort and support, but he was afraid to do it. She surprised him by leaning in, putting one arm around his shoulder. He gingerly put his hand on her back, holding her loosely. He breathed in deeply. After a few seconds she stepped back.

She smiled. "I appreciate that." She lifted her hand. "Thanks again. I'll call you after Christmas." Then she turned and headed for the road. He watched as she walked up the embankment and, after a moment, heard the car door slam. Her car started and he heard her drive away.

He felt a pit in his stomach and an ache in his heart as he thought about how matter of fact she was. It was her way though. She covered up her pain and presented a strong face in public. He sighed and then headed towards his truck.

Rayna

She walked into the Capitol Grille and looked for her sister. A host came up to her. "May I help you?" he asked.

She smiled. "I'm meeting someone here, but she hasn't arrived yet."

"Just the two of you?"

She nodded. "Yes." He led her through the dining room and seated her at a table near the far wall. He put down two menus. "Thank you," she said.

"Can I get you something to drink while you wait?"

"Yes, please. An unsweetened iced tea." He scurried off and was back in about a minute with the glass. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," he said, and then walked off. She had to smile. He clearly had no idea who she was. Of course not everyone in Nashville was a country music fan, but every now and then it surprised her. And then she wasn't wearing one of her flashy stage outfits either. She was dressed like most any other businesswoman who would be having lunch at the power lunch spot.

Just then she saw Tandy walk in and she raised her hand and smiled. Tandy hurried over and she stood and hugged her sister. "Sorry I'm late," Tandy said, sounding out of breath.

She grinned. "Did you run here?"

Tandy sat and rolled her eyes. "Practically. Daddy got so full of himself at the staff meeting and I didn't think he'd ever stop." Her sister reached across the table and squeezed her hand. "I'm so glad to see you."

"I'm glad you could get away. I feel like we haven't had sister time in a while."

"Well, you've been out on the road and so busy ever since."

She shrugged. "Yeah. There's just been a lot going on."

Tandy looked at her closely and frowned a little. "Somehow that doesn't sound good," she said. Just then the server showed up and, after quickly reviewing the menu, they ordered. She also noticed the room was starting to fill and wanted to share her news with her sister before it got too crowded.

She clasped her hands on the table in front of her. "I need to share some news," she said. Tandy looked attentive. "Teddy and I have separated."

Tandy's eyes flew open and she gasped. "What? When? How are the girls?"

"Well, really before Thanksgiving. He's apparently been having an affair for I don't know how long."

Tandy frowned, leaning forward. "An affair? Are you serious? With who?"

"Peggy."

Her sister looked shocked. "No. Are you sure? How did you find out?"

The server was back then with their food and they waited until everything was placed on the table and the server had left. She leaned forward. "I got pictures. First it was pictures of the two of them talking, but also hugging. Nothing overt but definitely disturbing. But then, after the tour, I got 3 more, and those were very definitely intimate."

"What does Teddy say?"

"Well, what can he say? At first he tried to tell me it wasn't what it seemed, that she wanted more from him than he was interested in, but with the last ones he had no choice but to acknowledge it. I don't know a lot of the details and don't particularly want to." She breathed in. "But there's more."

"What more can there be?"

"He took money from our savings to help shore up his business deal that failed, so we lost that money and then he also managed to get some money from my personal account." Tandy sat back, looking dumbfounded. "He and Peggy somehow managed to get the money to cover most of our savings that he'd invested, but not my personal account, and it's left us in a bad place financially. I mean, you know that my personal account was what really kept us afloat and able to live the way we do. He threw all that into disarray and forced me to extend the tour and have to go back in the studio, when I really wanted to take a break from that this year."

"Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry this is happening. It seems so unlike Teddy though."

She made a face. "I know, it does, doesn't it? And yet he did it."

"Are you sure the two of you can't work through this?"

She shook her head. "I don't see how. He embezzled money. And he's a cheater. I just don't trust him anymore, you know?"

Tandy sighed. "I just hate this, for all of you. He's still living at the house, though, right?"

"Yep. In a guest room, for now. But that will change."

"When?"

"We'll tell the girls the weekend after Christmas. I just didn't want to spoil things for them. And we've already determined a schedule for them. We'll alternate weeks at the house, so the girls don't have to be uprooted."

Tandy looked concerned. "They're still going to be disrupted though."

"I know. I don't know what to do about that though, except to keep their situation stable, not moving from one place to another each week." She smiled a little. "Which means I'm hoping I can stay with you the weeks I'm not home."

"Well, of course, sweetie. When do you start this?"

"The week after Christmas. I'll be the one to leave first."

"Oh, babe, really? That soon?"

"Tandy, I don't want to live in the same house with him. That's really the point here."

Tandy sat back. "Well, I guess I can understand that." She had a pensive look on her face. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I hate that you're having to go through this. I really thought it had all worked out, in spite of how it all started. I thought you and Teddy loved each other."

She looked down for a moment, then back at her sister. "We did love each other, but I think the way it all started was not the ideal circumstance. Teddy felt like second choice. I know that. I appreciated the sacrifice he made for me, but you know that the truth of it all was that he wasn't my first choice. He turned out to be the right man, and I did grow to love him, but I'm not sure the knowledge of it all ever went away."

Tandy frowned. "Teddy is still Maddie's father."

"Of course he is, Tandy. Don't be ridiculous."

"But you're splitting up. So what does that mean with respect to Deacon?"

"Why would it mean anything? Deacon and I aren't together. I don't have plans to be with him. I don't have plans to be with anybody."

"Just remember you made a decision back before Maddie was born, to give her the best life you could. And you did that. You've done that. I don't think it would be smart to blow that up."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not planning to blow it up, Tandy." Tandy gave her a skeptical look and she frowned. "I'm not."

Tandy put her hands up in a surrender position. "Okay. I believe you."

When she thought back later on the lunch conversation, it made her wonder about Tandy's comment about not blowing up Maddie's life. But it would also blow up Deacon's life and, as much as she didn't want to hurt Maddie, she also had no idea what Deacon's reaction would be anyway. But she truly didn't want to test it.

Deacon

He was cleaning up the kitchen when his phone rang. He had originally planned to head back to the cabin, but had changed his plans when Rayna had rescheduled until after Christmas. He still had trouble wrapping his mind around what she'd told him about splitting up with Teddy. He couldn't help but wonder what had gone down. He'd never really understood what she'd seen in him, other than the fact that Teddy wasn't him. He picked up his phone. "Hello?" he said brusquely.

"Well, you don't sound so happy." Carmen's voice hummed over the line and he could picture her with that Cheshire cat smile, looking like she needed to be fucked.

"I just sound like me, Carmen," he said, with a smirk. "What's up?"

"I was just thinking that if you didn't have any plans for Christmas, you could always come to Chicago and hang out here for a few days."

He chuckled. "I don't really want to come to Chicago, though. Too cold."

"Okay then. What if I come to Nashville?"

He smiled to himself. He didn't necessarily want, or need, company, but it wouldn't be bad to have her around for a few days. "You could do that, I suppose," he said.

"What about tomorrow?"

"What about Christmas Eve? Then leave the day after?"

"Or leave on Saturday?"

"That'll work." He smiled. "I'll get the guest room ready for you."

She laughed. "I'm not staying in your damn guest room, Deacon Claybourne."

"No, I guess you're not."

After he hung up with her, he wondered why he had agreed to let her come. He'd spent the past decade waiting for Rayna. Now she and Teddy were splitting up, but she'd been clear that she wasn't moving on to the next relationship. That she wanted to take some time. Needed time. He sighed. He just needed somebody to keep him company and Carmen was good at that. it was just a few days.

He headed for his living room, settling in on the couch. He reached for the lyrics Rayna had given him the last time they'd met. He'd made a few notes in the margins, wording suggestions, thoughts on the music. He marked where she needed a bridge on one of them. When he got to the third, although it was unfinished, he saw it as an anthem. A big, bold anthem. The last time she'd written one of those was after she'd broken up with him. This Love Ain't Big Enough was one of her biggest number 1's of her career. It was always one of the first songs on the set list. He penciled in a title at the top – It's My Life.

Then he picked up his guitar and spent most of the rest of the afternoon trying out music to go along with her words. He puzzled for a bit over the one where she wrote about being a sanctuary. It seemed like it was probably about the girls. It almost sounded like a lullaby. But it could also be something more and he felt like it should be something quiet, yet uplifting. He spent a lot of time trying to come up with music for it, but it was stumping him. Then he thought maybe he should wait for her, to see if she had some idea of what feeling she was trying to evoke. He smiled to himself. She ain't lost her touch. She'd always been better at lyrics and hers were always beautiful. These songs just proved it.

The dream came back to him that night, only this time some of the pieces came together, as though they belonged together. Rayna being at the cabin, him asking her to marry him, and her saying yes.

"I love you, Deacon. I love you so much." She pulled him to her, as she sat back against the couch. He couldn't remember the last time he'd kissed her, but everything about the kiss felt right. Her hands cradled his face, as she kissed him hungrily. He put his hands on her waist, pulling her closer. Then he stretched out on the couch, pulling her underneath him. She moved her hands to the back of his neck and she arched herself into him. He pulled his lips from hers and looked down at her in the fading light.

"Baby, I promise I'm okay now. I'll be the man you need me to be."

She smiled up at him, her face soft and her eyes filled with love. "I know. I believe in you, Deacon." He smiled and kissed her again. He felt her hands slide down his back and pull his shirt up. He sat up, pulling her with him, and quickly unbuttoned his shirt. She smiled and pushed it back and then over his shoulders and arms. He tugged her blouse up and over her head, then reached behind her and unfastened her bra, sliding it off until he could see her full breasts. He cupped them, letting his thumbs brush back and forth over her nipples. She caught her breath as they hardened. Her tongue slid over her lips and he leaned in and kissed her again.

She reached for the waistband of his jeans, tugging at it. He moved her hands away and first pulled her jeans off, then his own. She was lying back against the pillows and she reached her arms out for him. He put one knee on the couch and then lowered himself closer to her. He could feel her hands on his neck, see the need in her eyes, feel her skin beneath his fingers, and then...

He sat up in his bed, gasping for air. He shook his head, as though there were cobwebs inside. His heart was pounding. And he could still feel her skin, taste her lips. He closed his eyes. It felt real. He laid his head back on the pillow, his eyes wide open and his heart still beating hard. He'd dreamed all the pieces and parts so often that he thought it must have been real. Except he couldn't remember it actually happening. The thought occurred to him that maybe he actually was remembering something that really happened. It didn't seem possible, but the feeling was so strong he couldn't shake it immediately.

He laid there for a long time, his eyes wide open, running it through his head, committing it to memory. When he finally did fall back asleep, it was a restless, but dreamless, sleep.