"You're here," she said to him, visibly surprised, after she opened the door. Her eyes danced around, taking in that yes, indeed, Martin was on her doorstep again.
"Yes," he nodded. "You left breakfast abruptly, and as long as I came all this way, we should at least finish our conversation," Martin told her as he stood in front of Louisa's dingy flat. He focused his eyes on her; it would have been too easy to look around at the dirt and grime in the hallway. Disgusting, but that was not his focus now, or it couldn't be his focus. He needed to put his efforts into this discussion with Louisa.
Louisa shook her head, fighting back tears, tears of what, Martin was not sure, but he could see it, "I'm surprised you came."
"Louisa," he said, dropping his voice to that tone he only used with her, "I did come to London because you asked. May I at least come in?"
"Right," Louisa snapped out of it, shaking her head again. "Where are my manners? Please, come in," she gestured, standing to the side so he could enter. It was smaller than he even imagined, and he had to duck to get into the doorway. Thankfully, once inside, the ceiling was a bit higher, but not by much. The low ceiling made the abysmal place feel even worse. He glanced around, noting clothing hanging all over the place, on door knobs, on the short bedpost, on the back of the doorway, and even on one of the few kitchen cupboards. He turned slightly to await her instructions, not that there was much room to move around in the place.
"Ahh, please sit," she said, stepping around him. He took in her appearance again, the dress still on, but she'd removed her scarf. He looked to the table where she gestured finding it piled with what looked like school papers. Her laptop was open; she appeared to be working on schoolwork.
"Sorry, bit messy," she said, stacking the papers and closing the laptop. She made herself busy doing that, looking down at the table as she spoke. He watched with small glances around the place-small kitchen area with a tiny sink, small cooker, and an equally small refrigerator. She had some of her groceries on the counter because he could tell she did not have the space to store much of anything. A quick peek toward her lavatory, and he could see it looked equally messy. He almost cringed and held back a grimace as he imagined how old and dingy everything was in there.
"Martin," he heard and snapped his head to her. She gestured to the table again, and he took a seat. She did have two chairs, why was almost a mystery. It was difficult to fit two adults in the room. Her table was almost up next to her bed. "Cuppa tea, yes?"
"Umm, fine, yes," he said to her, and she nodded, moving to the sink area to heat up their tea. He held back any comments, letting her take in his arrival. He continued to go through things in his head. Chris had given him a lot of advice, and he was trying his best to use it all. Of all the people he could have seen, Chris was the best one; he was a long-time friend, one of the very few, and the two men had a very good understanding of each other. They had spent over an hour talking at breakfast, something at the time, Martin was not sure he appreciated, but looking back, he was very grateful their pathways had crossed as they had.
"Oh, umm, here," Martin said, pulling the gift bag from his side. He was so out of it himself that he had not realized he was still holding it sitting there at the table. Louisa looked over, and her eyes widened.
"What's this?" Louisa asked, stepping toward him to accept the bag. She gave him a quizzical glance.
He cleared his throat before he spoke, "I, ahh, meant to bring this earlier, but perhaps this worked out for the best. Being Christmas and all, I did want to give that to you," he told her.
Her eyes widened as she accepted it, "Martin, I never expected-" she paused. She let out her breath, "You didn't have to get me anything. I feel badly because I don't have a gift for you."
"I didn't ask for one," he said quickly, a blank expression on his face.
"Yes, but it's a kind thing to do, to reciprocate a gift. Besides that," she held up the gift, "I didn't ask for this, but you brought something anyway."
"It's just," he waved his hand, "just a gift."
"Thank you," she said, looking at him with a surprised expression. He sat there, looking at her, giving her no indication of what she should do. "Shall I open it?"
"Yes, if you want," he told her.
Louisa opened the bag and pulled out the gift, giving him a surprised expression as she held it, "Martin, you got me wine? You don't drink."
"You do," he said with a nod. "I spoke to the shopkeeper, best one they had. I'm sure you will find it to your satisfaction. I did not know which one your preferred, only that you liked a sweeter wine, so that is what he recommended. The shop is here in London if you like it. If you don't, you might want to stop by and tell him he has horrible taste."
Louisa let out a chuckle and a brief smile, the most he'd seen her smile all day. She looked back at him with a nod, "Thank you, Martin. That was very kind, very thoughtful, in fact. I should expect that anything that is the store best won't be affordable on a teacher income, hmm? Thank you."
"If you prefer that," he gestured to the wine, "instead of your tea, I don't mind. I know you often like a glass of wine when you are doing your schoolwork."
Louisa pursed her lips and looked to the bottle, "Ahh, no, no thank you," she said. It was mid-afternoon now, acceptable for a glass of wine. Martin had spent much of the morning talking with Chris, and when he'd left breakfast, he'd done some walking to clear his head and think about everything Chris had suggested. Then, he'd returned to his hotel to freshen up and write down some of his thoughts. Finally, he'd made the trek to Louisa's place knowing that he had given her several hours to regroup after their disastrous morning."
"The tea will be fine," she told him, putting the wine on the counter as she worked on the tea.
"Is that bottle satisfactory?" Martin asked, genuinely interested. She turned, realizing he was as well.
"Perfectly, lovely, thank you again," she said with a small smile. Louisa finished with the tea and walked to the table with the cups. She sat, the small bistro table feeling that much smaller with Martin's tall frame taking up a good portion of the table area. She stirred her tea, looking down at her cup. Martin sat and watched, trying not to stare and trying not to say the wrong thing. He glanced at her a few times, always turning his attention back to his tea.
"I hope it's not too sweet, the tea," she finally said, sipping hers. "I remember you don't like much in your tea."
"Hmm, yes," he said quietly. As much as they needed to discuss whatever it is she wanted to discuss, he was enjoying just being in Louisa's presence. It calmed him. This was really all he'd wanted, just that glimpse. Now, here, it was even better; he was sitting right by her.
"The thing is, Martin," she started and looked up at him, her cup cupped between her hands. He wrapped his hands around his cup and looked to her. "I need to apologize for this morning. I was rude and horrible to you. I do want you to know I appreciate the effort you made, coming up here from Portwenn. I do. I really do. I suppose several things just got to me this morning. Seeing Chris, someone we both know, rattled me a bit. I just felt the walls closing in like we couldn't talk. Seems to be a problem with us, yes? Back in the village before,"she said with a small nod to indicate to both of them she meant before their called of wedding, "we never got through anything without interruption. I mean, we couldn't get through a single meal without a medical emergency or bloody village problem. Even the day of," she rolled her eyes and nodded, "you know, our well, wedding day, you ended up delivering a baby not to mention dealing with the vicar."
"Yes," Martin finally added after Louisa paused in her recollection. The two drifted into silence again, sipping their tea.
"The thing is, Martin," Louisa started again and briefly glanced at him before she looked down at her tea, "I'm pregnant." Martin's head snapped up, his eyes widening, but she didn't look to him. "And before you say anything," she added, raising her hand, "I've thought it all through and will be just fine having a baby. I don't need a medical lecture regarding my options."
Martin took several seconds to comprehend what she had just told him. Finally, he cleared his throat and looked up to see that she was now looking at him, almost a look of relief on her face. He did notice a change in her face; the look of stress was much less.
"Ahh," he frowned, "what does Danny think?"
"Danny?" Louisa snapped her head up and sat up straight. "What does he have to do with this?"
Martin expressed a completely baffled look as he tried to understand the situation, and Louisa sat there looking horrified at him.
"I'm simply asking, Louisa," Martin stated, changing his tone to a businesslike or professional tone. "If the man is about to become a father, I feel that has a great deal to do with you, about what you want. What does he want to do?"
"Danny, the father!" Louisa examined, now clearly irritated. "Why would Danny be the father? Martin, what kind of woman do you think I am? Are you seriously mad you think that?"
Martin shook his head and pursed his lips, "Wait, what? Louisa, one question at a time! I think my conclusion is a highly rationale one. Why wouldn't he be the father?"
"I'm not with Danny, Martin! I can barely stand him anymore. He's just been," she smacked her hand on the table, "around, hovering. I've been working at his church part-time, helping with the children's choir. I needed the money, and he told the church he knew someone who worked with children. That's it."
"He came around when I was last here," Martin used his finger to point at the table, still trying to clear up the Danny confusion. "He brought you dinner, was well versed in how you were feeling. I was here just a few minutes, and he was right there, lurking on your doorstep."
"Well aware!" Louisa exclaimed, firing back. "Just another example of the bloody village mucking up things, even here in London! Danny is always lurking."
"Wait, so," Martin started to put the pieces together. "It's not Danny-"
"No, Martin!" Louisa exclaimed. "It's you, only you. It's always been you," she said, now about ready to cry. "I'm not going to bed with Danny, not with anyone, just you when we were going to get married." Louisa put her head in her hands there on the table and started to cry, the stress of the entire situation hitting her. Martin sat there, dumbfounded, his mouth open, still not completely processing everything. Finally, he cleared his voice and looked across the table, sighing as he saw her crying. He reached for a tissue and handed it to her, putting his hand over hers to give it to her. She looked up at the brief contact.
"Ahh, right, then," he said, swallowing, a lump suddenly appearing in his throat as his face turned red. "I suppose then, you are trying to ask how I feel about all of this, and I gather my gift was not something you can use."