Episode 35.
Cartman vs Tenorman.
(Gravity falls intro plays.)
(Dipper, Mark, Dib, Vana, Jack, Mac, Aang, Sokka, Kitty, Trever, Eric, Momo, and Appa brave the Mountain snowstorms, As they make it out they come to what lies before them.)
(Wendy Testaburger looks behind her and waves as the scene pans out to reveal South park.)
(Dipper is Dragged away from the Group and embraces Mabel, then both get scooped up in Randy's arms.)
(Dib and Vana show Mark and Jack a large footprint inside a bigger footprint, Scenes show the school and Forests of Crossover town.)
Dipper and Mabel.
Brian and Stewie.
Stan Kyle Kenny and Cartman.
Wendy Testaburger.
Chef, Mr. Garrison, and Randy marsh.
(Dipper, Mabel, and the Marsh family sit around a campfire, While the shape of a snakehead lurks in the shadows.)
(Scenes of Dr. Eggman, Tak, Cluny the Scourge, and the Horned King appear, Along with Lord Jargafar removing his hood in the shadows.)
(Several scenes with different Characters appear.)
Crossover legends.
Sunday, After School.
It was a bright sunny day in Crossover town and Cartman rode his tricycle down the road as he sang to himself, He reached the Bus stop and met, Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny there.
Cartman: Hey De Hey De Hey de, How's it going, guys?
Kyle: What the Hell are you so happy about?
Cartman: Oh Nothing, Nothing It's no big deal really.
Stan: What's no big deal?
Cartman had his hands behind his back.
Cartman: Well guys it seems I am the first one to reach manhood after all.
Dipper: What?
Cartman: Not counting you Dipper, Or you and Mabel, Wendy.
Wendy: Hmp.
Mabel: what are you talking about?
Cartman: Well, unlike you guys, I just got my first Pubes.
He then did a dance as he Announced this and sang.
Kenny: (You got Pubes?)
Kyle: What are Pubes?
Dipper: Pubic Hair he's saying he's got his first Pubic hair.
Kyle: Oh.
Wendy: You did no such thing Cartman.
Cartman: Oh yes I did, I'm becoming a man you stupid bitch.
Stan: He's lying.
They all turned to leave.
Cartman: You sure you don't wanna see them?
Wendy: Eww, NO!
Mabel: AGH!
Cartman: Here check them out.
He reached into his pants for them, Causing the Kids to Avert their Eyes.
Dipper: We don't wanna see them Cartman!
Cartman: There see, How do you like them apples.
The kids looked at Cartman's hand and saw a hair mound in his hand.
Mabel: wha… What is that?
Cartman: My Pubes.
Dipper: What?
Cartman: I got them from Scott tenorman.
Kyle: The Ninth-grader?
Cartman: Yep, He let me have them for just 10 bucks.
He then laughed and did a dance.
Cartman: Ha Ha Ha, I got pubes before you guys did.
I got Pubes before you guys.
Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.
The Kids didn't say anything, Stan just shook his head.
Stan: Cartman you are so God Damn stupid it's unbelievable.
Cartman went up to them and Pulled Stan and Kyle close to him.
Cartman: Heh, Don't Be Jealous guys, This doesn't mean we still can't hang out, It just means that I matured faster than you, You'll get your Pubes someday, Except you Wendy.
Mabel: Cartman you don't buy Pubes you grow them yourself.
Cartman was taken aback.
Cartman: What?
Dipper: When you get old enough you grow your own Pubic hair that's attached to you, You idiot.
Cartman was taken aback evan more.
Cartman: Then why did Scott tenorman sell me his Pubes for Ten Dollars.
Wendy: Because Dumbass, Scott Tenorman is a Deceitful, Manipulative Weasel spawn who screws with Kids younger than him for fun, Just ask Pip, He told him He was giving him a pet Kitty cat to keep but it turned out to be a Wolverine.
Cartman looked between the kids.
Cartman: So you're telling me these Pubes are worth nothing?
Stan: Pretty much yeah.
Cartman didn't say anything more, Just pushed past Stan and Kyle and muttered under his breath.
Cartman: I'm gonna get that son of a bitch.
Meanwhile.
At a Purple house, Scott tenorman himself was sitting on the front porch and talking with his Freinds, He wore a Black V-neck shirt over a Grey sweater with Baggy Orange Pants, He had Red hair and Freckles, Large Ears and a Piggish nose, He told his friends all about his encounter with Cartman.
Scott: And so I told him I said "Here, I'll sell you mu Pubes for ten Dollars and the Stupid little brat buys them."
The two boys on either side of him laughed, Just then Cartman came up to them.
Scott: What do you want?
Cartman: Uh yes, I'd like to return these Pubes that I purchased, please?
Scott: Uh, Uh I don't take returns.
Cartman: Right but you see, I don't realize that when I bought these Pubes from you, That you were Full of Shit! So you can give me back my Ten dollars! Or I can go tell my mom on you.
Scott: You would actually tell your Mom that you were stupid enough to pay for my Pubes? Na-Ah I don't think so.
Cartman: Just give me back my money.
Scott: Buy or beware dude.
Cartman: Give my My ten Dollars Scott.
Scott: I said No, Now get lost!
Cartman scowled and walked away.
Monday, Afterschool.
Cartman walked to the front door of the Tenorman residence, Dressed in a brown suit and a fake Beard made of Pubes, He rang the doorbell and Scott Tenorman appeared at the door.
Cartman: Hello Sir, My name is Chris Christopherson, I'm with the IRS, I am here to collect ten dollars that you owe in back taxes.
Scott: You're,e not front eh IRS, You stuck those Pubes on your face.
Cartman: ...Tax evasion is a very serious offense, sir, I suggest that you-
Scott suddenly cut him off.
Scott: Alright, Alright, I'll trade you my Pubes back for the Money.
Cartman: You will? Cool!
Cartman took off the Pubes as Scott pulled out the Money.
Scott: How much did I charge? Oh yeah Ten Dollars, You got Change for a twenty?
Cartman pulled out some money from his Pocket.
Cartman: I've only got Six Dollars and Twelve cents.
Scott: Oh well… That's okay, Here just give me the Six Dollars.
Cartman handed the Six Dollars to him.
Scott: And I'll give you the Twenty.
Cartman: Okay.
Scott: Now give me the Pubes and I'll give you back Two Dollars.
Cartman: Right.
Scott: Now give me the Twelve cents and I'll give you the rest of your change back.
Cartman: Cool.
Scott: Now give me the Twenty and I'll give you the Pubes.
Cartman: Sweet!
Scott went back inside as Cartman took the Pubes, He soon realized his mistake.
Cartman: Ey!
Tuesday, After School.
Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman walked along to Lolly's candy shop as Cartman ranted about the day before.
Cartman: That Asshole! That Big Ass Ass sniffing Ass hole! I'm gonna get him!
Dipper: Cartman can I give you some advice?
Cartman: What?
Dipper: Just get over it, you only lost like $16.12, Count your losses and move on, He's smarter than you.
Cartman: He is not Smarter than me! He just Charmed me that's all, He's a charmer that Scott tenorman, But I'll get him someday!
Mabel: Yeah whatever.
They entered the shop, Collected the Candy they wanted, and went to the Counter and purchased their candy from Lolly the Candyman, When Cartman came to the Counter he placed the Pubes on the Counter.
Lolly: Uh Eric, These Rappers cost Six dollars each.
Cartman: Okay, And how much are they in Pubes.
Lolly: Eric I don't accept Pubes.
Cartman: Oh come on Lolly my money's is as good as anybody's don't you… Discriminate against my people by not accepting these Pubes.
Lolly: I don't take Pubes! End of Story!
Cartman grabbed the Pubes and marched out of the Store!
Later he went to Scott's house and Rang the Door, Scott came out.
Cartman: Oh my god! Scott, you have to get out of here! The legion of Doom are attacking Crossover town! Get out while you can, I'll stay behind and defend your house!
Scott: Okay! I'll buy the Pubes back! Here!
He held out the Money to Cartman.
Cartman: What?
Scott: Sixteen Dollars take it! I'll evan throw in an Extra five here! Just give me back my Pubes!
Cartman: Uh… Why do you want them back so much?
Scott: Because of the Pube fair in Fort Collins.
Cartman: Pube fair?
Scott: They're paying 5 bucks a hair for Pubes, If I leave now I can catch the last Bus!
Cartman: 5 bucks a hair? That's like a Million dollars!
Scott: here take your Money!
Cartman tucked the Pubes away.
Cartman: Oh I don't think so Scott, I'm going to Fort Collins myself!
Scott: Oh you can't do this to me! NOOO!
Cartman laughed and headed off triumphantly.
Cartman: Your ride your loss, Scott!
Scott: have you no Heart?
Cartman went to the Bus stop and boarded the Next bus for Fort Collins, He laughed and Ranted happily all the way there, When he Arrived he found nothing there.
Cartman: Uh… What?
At that moment a man came walking up, Cartman quickly got his attention.
Cartman: Uh Excuse me, sir?
The Man was Pretty gruff-looking with Long Hair all around his head, A strong muscle Build, and with what appeared to be Holes in his Knuckles.
Logan: Yeah kid?
Cartman: Can you tell me where the Pubes fair is?
Logan: What?
Cartman: Yeah I've got some Pubes to sell.
Logan: Listen Bub I've never heard of such a thing and evan if I did I wouldn't evan give two shits about it, Besides I'm just passing through here anyway!
And he stormed off as he did a man with a package came up to Cartman.
Guy: Hey you wouldn't happen to be Eric Cartman would you?
Cartman: Yeah?
Guy: This is for you.
He handed Cartman the Package and left.
Cartman opened the Package and stared in horror as he pulled out, A whole bunch of Pubes.
Cartman: AAAGGGHHH!
It was Dark and Raining by the Time Cartman got back to Crossover town, He knocked on the Tenorman's door and Scott Appeared.
Cartman: A hundred and six miles Scott, I had to ride A hundred and Six miles in the back of a pickup truck to get back.
Scott: You really went?!
Cartman: YES! Now I give up.
Scott: You do?
Cartman: Yeah, I'll see you around.
He turned and walked away.
Cartman: Sure is too bad about my Grandma though.
Scott: Your Grandma?
Cartman: Yeah she's in the hospital, She's very sick and the Doctors say that unless I can come up with $16 dollars for an Operation, They're gonna put her down.
Scott: Oh… Oh geez, I… I didn't realize that.
Cartman: Yeah, Poor Grandma.
Before Cartman could leave Scott called out to him.
Scott: Hey kid! Hold up there, I'll give you back your money.
Cartman turned around.
Cartman: You will?
Scott: Yeah just stay right there.
Scott then left, Leaving Cartman to snigger to himself.
Cartman: Heh, Heh, Heh, He's such a douche.
When Scott came back he held out the Money for Cartman.
Scott: Here you go.
Cartman: Oh wow, thanks, Scott.
Scott suddenly held it back.
Scott: But just one thing before I give it to you.
Cartman: What?
Scott: I just… I want you to beg for it.
Cartman: Huh?
Scott: Just get down on your knees and beg me for the Money.
Cartman: Why?
Scott: Do you want your Grandma to live or not?
Cartman: Uh… PleaseScottgivememymoney!
Scott: No, No, get down on your knees!
Cartman did so.
Scott: Lower your head.
Cartman did so.
Scott: And say I beg you to give me back my money.
Cartman: I beg you to give me back my money.
Scott: Now say, I'm a little Piggy.
Cartman: What?!
Scott: Say it!
Cartman: ...I'm a little Piggy.
Scott: Here's my snout.
Cartman: Here's my snout.
Scott: Oink Oink Oink.
Cartman: Oink Oink Oink.
Scott: Now sing it.
Cartman: I'm a little piggy Here's my snout.
Oink Oink Oink Oink Oink Oink.
Tenorman laughed as Cartman sang.
Cartman: Now give me back my money!
Scott held it up.
Scott: You mean this? You really care that much about 16 Measly Dollars? My Parents give me a 50 dollar weak allowance, This means nothing to me, Watch.
He held up a lighter and Burned the Money, Cartman Stared on in Horror as this happened.
Cartman: No… W-why…?
Scott: So now you can leave me alone about your dumb money!
He closed the door, Cartman staggered away his grief slowly burning into Rage, He roared into the Sky as the Rain came pouring down on him.
Wednesday, The next evening.
That night, Several kids were called to Cartman's house, They were seated in the basement and talked among themselves.
Clyde: So what's going on again?
Craig: You got me?
At that Moment Cartman came downstairs and addressed the Audience.
Cartman: Concerned citizens I welcome you, I know that your all deeply troubled and want to find a way to get rid of Scott tenorman once and for all!
Token black raised his hand.
Cartman: Yes Token?
Token: Who is Scott tenorman.
Dipper: Some Teenager who scammed Cartman out of Ten dollars and now Cartman's pissed.
Cartman: $16.12, He is a disease, He is a cold calculating mind and I will have revenge!
Kenny: (So… what are you gonna do?)
Cartman: Did anyone ever see that Movie Hanibal? Where the Villain trained a bunch of Pigs to eat people?
He flipped the Diagram to a Picture of a Pony.
Cartman: Well, If we find a pony, We can train it, To bite of Scott tenormans Weiner.
No one said a word.
Cartman: It will be painful and Humiliating, Everyone will see it happen and then! Scott tenorman will forever be known, As the Kid who had his Duck bitten off by a pony! HAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Dipper: And why do we care?
Red: Yeah why should any of us care about getting back at Scott tenorman for you?
Cartman: He screwed Pip over!
Bebe: But nobody likes Pip.
Pip glared at Bebe.
Cartman: Okay, okay let's just let Scott tenorman walk away with my $16.12, Hell lets all the Scott tenormans of the world take what's ours, Burn it in front of us and laugh in our faces, Why stop now and walk out of here and say "It's not your problem." But… Years from now, When your old and have children of your own, what would you give to come back and fight this one day? This one day where you could have made a difference, Where you could have told Scott tenorman you may take our pride but you never take MY GODDAMN $16.12! Now whose with me!
When Cartman looked at the Roos he found them all empty, All except for Roo, a stuffed baby Joey, Gumball, A blue Cat with a white shirt, and Darwin a walking fish.
Cartman: Where did everybody go?
Roo: They got board.
Cartman: Oh Jesus Christ, well I guess it's just the three of us than guys.
Gumball: Why?
Cartman: What?
Darwin: You really expect us to fight your battles?
Cartman: … Because… you love me?
They just starred.
Roo: Yeah, if you had self-respect.
And they left.
Thursday, After School.
The next day, Cartman was at a local Farm setting up a Dummy of Scott Tenorman, When he was finished, He gestured to the Pony standing not too far away.
Cartman: There we go, Come and get it.
The Pony didn't respond.
Cartman: Come on Pony bite the Weiner.
Again nothing.
Cartman: Come on, Bite the Weiner.
The Pony began to edge closer until he was in front of the Dummy.
Cartman: Yes Pony, Good Pony, Now bite it!
The Pony almost made a biting motion, But instead just licked the makeshift dick.
Cartman: Oh no Pony he'll like that…
Just then Jimbo and Ned came up to him from behind the fence.
Jimbo: Eric! Are you training that Pony to please you?
Cartman: No, I'm training it to bite someone's Weiner off.
Jimbo: Oh, Well does Farmer Denkins know you're using his Pony? He shoots trespassers on sight you know.
Cartman: No he was totally fine with it.
Jimbo: Okay, But why are you using a Pony to bite off someone's penis?
Cartman: Because, Of Scott tenorman, I hate him and I want to make him suffer.
Jimbo: I see, Well I think you've got a pretty stupid plan there kid.
Cartman noticed the Pony still licking the fake Penis.
Cartman: No! No! Not like that Pony.
Jimbo: Look if you want to get revenge on somebody, You have to think like a hunter.
Cartman: What do you mean?
Jimbo: Step 1: Find someone's weakness, Step 2: Exploit that Weakness.
Cartman: How do I do that?
Later that Night, Cartman snuck over to the Tenormans residence with Jimbo and Ned, They all hid behind a Bush and watched Scott Tenorman through a pair of Binoculars.
Jimbo: What do you see?
Cartman: I see Scott Tenorman, With his Ginger red hair and his Stupid Freckles and his stupid, God Damn I hate him!
Jimbo: What else do you see?
Cartman examined the Room.
Cartman: We'll there's Radio head posters in his room, And he's reading a Magazine about Radio head.
Jimbo: What's Radiohead?
Cartman: You know that Band that sings that song.
Well, I'm a creep! I'm a Winner…
Ned: What am I doing here?
Jimbo: Oh Jesus Ned don't start singing.
Cartman: So Tenormans a radio head fan huh? Maybe I should come up with a Lil ol' scheme that involves them.
Jimbo: Great thinking young Hunter.
Cartman Smiled to himself.
Cartman: Yes…
Friday, After School.
The next day Cartman went over to the Tenorman residence once again and rang the doorbell, And as Usual Scott tenorman came to the door.
Cartman: Oh hye Scott how's it going? I was just wondering uh, Do you like the band radio head at all?
Scott: Yeah.
Cartman: Oh wow, Really? Because they're doing a big interview on NTV, And they're playing it tonight on a big screen downtown, Everyones gonna be there.
Scott: Oh cool, Uh, Thanks for telling me.
Cartman: Your welcome Scott.
And he left.
Later that night, A stage with a Big TV had been set up just as Cartman said, Everyone in town had come to watch the show, Every Man, Woman and Anthropomorchi Animal in town Specifically, And among them, all was Scott tenorman.
Cartman: Okay, Well it looks like everyone is here let's play the video shall we?
He hopped off the stage and joined the crowd as the Screen turned on.
Kurt Loder: Welcome back to MTV, We're here with the Members of Radiohead probably the Hottest band in the world since 2001, Guys when is your next album coming out?
Cartman's voice was heard over the Radiohead members as they talked.
Cartman: Thorn Yorke: That's an Interesting question Kurt, But first I'd just like to say I hate this kid Scott tenorman, He's stupid. Johnny Greenwood: Yeah I hate Scott Tenorman too. Eric O'Brein: I think all the guys in the band hate him, right guys?
Cartman: Oh Jesus did you hear that Scott.
Tenorman didn't look particularly phased.
Kurt Loder: And when will your next tour be?
Cartman: Phil Selway: Well we would tour but we just hate that Scott tenorman kid so much that we don't want to… Thom yorke: Yeah Scott Tenorman is totally not cool, He's not cool.
Cartman: Wow that really sucks for you Scott.
Cartman looked to his left and Found Tenorman gone.
Cartman: Scott? HA! HA! HA! Did you see that! Scott must have run all the way home so embarrassed! HA HA HA HA! And that wasn't Radiohead actually talking I just dubbed them over HA AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
But no one seemed to pay him any attention, And a microphone was sounded and everyone turned to see Scott tenorman next to large Large TV.
Scott: Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Beasts and Others and Travelers from Distant lands, It's time for the Amazing Pube boy!
He ran off as the screen turned on and showed Cartman begging for his Money in the Rain!
Cartman: I'm a little piggy here's my snout!
Oink Oink Oink!
Cartman starred in Horror as everyone around him burst out laughing, They clutched their Stomaches! Fell on the ground banging their fists and Rolled around at the mere sight of it, Kenny laughed so hard he died!
Stan: HAHAHA! Oh my god, he killed Kenny! HAHAHAHA!
Kyle: You bastard! HAHAHAHAHA
Cartman: That does it! That's the last straw!
Later that night, Cartman stayed up drawing something on his desk as lighting roared outside.
Cartman: You think your so cool Scott tenorman, Well let's see how cool you are after this?
He looked over the Plans he had drawn and began to cackle.
Cartman: Yes… Yes… HeHeHeHe, HaHaHaHa, Yes, It is the most genius plan ever! SCOTT TENORMAN IS GOING TO WISH HE HAD NEVER MET ME! AHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Cartman smiled Evilly as lightning flashed.
Saturday.
The Next day, Cartman called Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, Stan, and Kyle over to Denkins Farm.
Wendy: Okay Cartman what do you want?
Cartman: Ah yes, Thank you all for coming, I've got it all figured out.
Mabel: Got what all figured out?
Cartman: How to finally get back at Scott tenorman!
Dipper: Oh god…
Cartman: I just finished putting together a Lil Old scheme that should put Tenorman in his place once and for all!
Mabel: Please don't say Lil Old.
Cartman: And if you all help me, I'll give each of you Two Dollars, Except Wendy.
Wendy: Hey why don't I get Two Dollars.
Cartman: Because you're a hippy bitch!
Wendy: Hey!
She nearly stormed over to Cartman but was held back by Mabel.
Stan: Cartman just tell us the Plan.
Cartman: It's the Brilliant combination of my last two Plans, Scott tenormans favorite band is Radiohead right?
Kyle: Yeah?
Cartman: So I realized, What if we got Radiohead to come hear to Crossover town right? Then they could meet Scott tenorman and… See him get his Dick bitten off by a pony!
He then gestured to the Pony who was standing near the Tenorman doll.
Dipper: What?
Cartman: Don't you see? If can get his Pony to bite off Tenorman's Weiner in front of Radiohead, then Scott would cry! And if Scott would cry! Then Radiohead would think Scott is not cool! And that would make Scott tenorman want to die! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Wendy: That is just awful!
Cartman: Oh bite me, Wendy! I'll do it myself if I have to!
Dipper: Your such a dumbass Cartman…
And with that, they walked off, With Dipper having to Pull a glaring Wendy away before she could do anything.
Wendy: He's so goddamn Horrible!
Mabel: Well what are you gonna do about he's just gonna go through with it.
Wendy: Yeah and I seriously just wanna see it blow up in his face!
Dipper: Just because he won't pay you a measly two dollars? That's just sounding like him.
Wendy: He also called me a bitch!
Dipper: Evan so It still a bit Childish.
Wendy: Well whatever, I'm not even gonna do it myself, I'll just help Tenorman get back at him for me, Right guys?
She turned to Stan and Kyle.
Kyle: Sure I'm game.
Stan: C'mon really? This just stupid Wendy.
Wendy: Stan… It just can't be me and Kyle, Please…?
Stan suddenly went gogo's eyes at the mere sound of Wendy's soft voice.
Dipper: Oh for god sake.
Mabel: Call the kettle green.
Dipper: Shut up.
Meanwhile.
In a studio in London, Thom Yorke was reading fan mail as the rest of the Band came over.
Johnny Greenwood: Thom will you stop reading Fanmail? We have work to do.
Thom Yorke: Just a second fellas listen to this.
Dear Radiohead.
My name is Eric Cartman, I'm a young supple eight-year-old boy from Crossover town, I'm writing to you because of a kid I know named Scott tenorman, Scott is fifteen and I'm afraid he has Cancer in his ass, Radiohead is his favorite band and it would mean the world to him if you visited him before he dies, Won't you please consider it? I don't think he'll last past next Tuesday.
Radiohead teared up sympathetically.
Phil Selway: Wow, We have to go.
Ed O'Brien: To Crossover town? But we have an Album to mix.
Thom Yorke: Didn't you hear this letter? This Poor kid has Cancer in his ass!
Meanwhile.
Scott tenorman sat in his room when the phone rang he answered it.
Scott: Hello?
Kyle's voice came from the other end.
Kyle: Hello? Scott tenorman?
Scott: Yes?
Kyle: We just wanted to warn you, Eric Cartman is trying to get revenge on you by getting your dick bitten off by a pony from Denkins ranch.
Scott: How do you know this?
Kyle: We're his friends?
Scott was confused.
Scott: … Then why are you telling me?
Kyle: Because we hate him.
Scott: Oh.
Kyle: Well we just wanted to let you know, See ya.
And Kyle hung up, There was a knock at the door and once again Scott found Cartman there, This time with some Pamphlets and a ticket.
Cartman: Hello Scott.
Scott: Hey.
Cartman: I was just stopping by to invite you to my Chilli con Carnival! It's a chili cook-off with rides! Everyones coming and I wanted to drop by and drop off your invitation personally!
Scott: Oh a chili carnival huh? That sounds great!
Cartman: Yeah, there's even gonna be a big surprise So you wouldn't want to miss it, here's a ticket for a free pony ride.
Scott took the Ticket.
Scott: Wow A pony ride, Neat.
Cartman: Oh It will be very neat Scott.
Scott: Gosh Chili Rides and Ponies, What more could I want?
Cartman: A little Penis bite perhaps.
Scott: What?
Cartman: Nothing, Nothing, So you'll come for sure than Scott?
Scott: How can I turn it down?
Cartman: Sweet, Bye Scott.
Scott closed the door and Cartman walked away smirking.
Back in his house, Scott went to his Parents with an Innocent tone of voice.
Scott: Mom, Dad, That was my Good friend Eric at the door, He told me there's a pony at Denkins ranch that's been abandoned.
Mrs. Tenorman: Oh dear.
Scott: Yeah I feel really bad, But I don't know how to help since I have a lot of Homework to do.
Mr. Tenorman: Well don't you worry Scott, Your Mother and I can go find the pony and take it to an Animal shelter.
Scott: Wow, would you really?
Mrs. Tenorman: We sure can.
Scott: Wow, I feel so much better now.
Mrs. Tenorman: Oh Scott you're such a loving caring boy I'm So Proud of you, Let's go, Hon.
Mr. Tenorman: Yes let's.
And they left.
Scott: Dumbasses.
Later Scott was making Chilli when his two Friends came in, One of them holding a bag of Pubes.
Friend 1: Hey Scott what are you doing?
Scott: What's it look like? I'm making Chili, Did you talk with Brandon Richards?
Friend 2: Yeah we did, He got the Pubes of one of our pears in town, just like he said.
Scott: And you gave him his end of the Bargain?
Friend 1: Game slave 4? Yeah, we got him, Don't know why we had to get for him considering he's rich.
Scott: He just wanted a bargain and he got it, Lazy jackass.
Scott then took the Pubes and put them all in the Cooking pot of Chilli.
Scott: That stupid Fat kid thinks hes gonna get revenge tomorrow, We'll see how he likes it when I tell him he's eaten the Pubes of Every kid in town!
And all three of them laughed.
Sunday, Chili Con Carnival.
The 1st Annual Chili con carnival was in full swing the next day, Everybody and Everybeast were there, Eating and Tasting Chilli, Riding the Pony, and engaging in other fun activities.
Wendy soon arrived along with Dipper, Mabel, Stan and Kyle, They met Cartman as he was handing out tickets.
Cartman: Oh hello guys, Thanks for coming to my Chilli Con Carnival!
Stan: This is the dumbest thing you've ever done Cartman.
Cartman: Oh it won't be so dumb when Scott tenorman arrives, I suggest you stay to see the fireworks.
Wendy: Oh we will, Trust us we wouldn't want to miss this for the world.
Cartman: Why are you being so amonus?
Kyle: No reason, She just thinks it's cool how you're gonna get Scott tenorman back, Is Radiohead here yet?
Cartman: Not yet but they will be.
Dipper: Okay if you say so.
Mabel: Hey Dipper I can't believe I haven't introduced you to some other friends already, Hey Megan! Nick!
As Mabel and Dipper went over to some other kids and Stan Kyle and Wendy went off, Chef came up with a Bowl of Chilli.
Chef: Hello Eric.
Cartman: Hey Chef.
Chef: I made some Chili to enter into the contest.
Cartman: What why?
Chef: this is a Chilli cock-off isn't it?
Cartman: Uh… Yeah I guess it is, Could you uh… Stand over here.
He moved Chef next to him.
Chef: It's my special recipe.
Just then Scott tenorman came over with his Chilli.
Cartman: Scott tenorman! How are you Scott? Thanks so much for coming.
Scott: Oh I wouldn't miss this for the world.
Cartman: Likewise, Well come on you've got to see the Pony.
He grabbed Scotts hand and nearly led him to the Pony.
Scott: Just a minute Eric, Don't you wanna taste my Chilli first?
Cartman: Well yeah but there's a special guest coming and I want you to be near the Pony when they come.
Scott: Well I don't want it to get cold and this is Cook-Off after all.
Cartman sighed.
Cartman: Alright Scott Lets all go to the Judging table and we'll try each other's Chilli.
Everyone gathered to the Judging table As Scott and Cartman presented their Dishes to each other.
Tiara: So when do the others go?
Jack: After these guys I think.
Cartman: Hmm, This Chilli looks pretty good, Here Scott, have mine.
The two Boys sat down and tasted their Chilli, Bite after Bite. they ate, All watched Cartman eagerly, and waited for the Prank to be sprung.
Brian: Well this is gonna be interesting.
Stewie: I bet the Fat kid pukes out his guts and cries.
Cartman: Hmm, This is some great Chilli Scott.
Scott: It's a special recipe.
Stan and Kyle withheld their laughter while Wendy smirked fiendishly.
Cartman: Oh this absolutely fantastic!
Scott: Oh I'm glad you like it so much Eric, I'd say you're almost done that huh? Well since you're almost done, I think I might wanna tell you something.
Cartman: What? You mean how you put Pubes in your Chilli?
Scott tenorman was surprised!
Scott: What?
Everyone was also surprised.
Cartman: Yes I'm afraid this isn't Actually your Chilli Scott, I switched it with Chef's.
Chef was completely Stunned.
Cartman: It's delicious Chef, I hadn't planned on that, In fact the Cook out part of the Plan was completely out of Consideration, What was in my Consideration was that If I made Wendy Angry, She'd seek to bring me down for the slights against her, By seducing her Boyfriend Stan into telling you that the Chilli Con Carnival was trap.
Wendy was Shocked, While Stan and Kyle looked at each other shocked, Same with Dipper and Mabel.
Cartman: I assumed she would have him, Kyle, Dipper and Mabel tell you that I had trained Denkins pony to bite off your Weiner, What she didn't have them tell you was that Denkins is a Crazy Redneck who shoots trespassers on sight!
Flashback.
Cartman: Knowing that you would try and do something about the Pony, I warned Mr Denkins that Agetns of the Animal Cruelty Squad had infiltraited Crossover town and were hunting livestock.
Flashback End.
Carmtan: I also knew that you wouldn't have the courage to go yourself in fear of having your Weiner bitten off.
Flashback.
Cartman: You would most likely send your Parents.
Flashback end.
Cartman: And. I'm afraid that when Mr Denkins spotted them on his Property.
Flashback.
Carmtan: He shot and Killed both of your Parents.
(Mr and Mrs Tenorman are both shot dead repeatedly.)
Flashback end.
Scott was horrified, And everyone turned to Denkins.
Denkins: Well they was trespassing and I was Protecting myself, I-I have my rights…
Scott: My… Mom and Dad are… Dead?
Flashback.
Cartman: When the Freedom watch go word of the A.C.S. presence in the Town, They and the Police fanned out insearch of them, Going everywhere searching house, Imposing an Immediate Curfew, Which was the Perfect cover for me to Steel the Bodies, While Mr Denkins was Questioned by Dippers Uncle.
Flashback end.
Cartman: After a night with the Hacksaw I was all ready to put on my Chilli Con Carnival, So I could tell you personally about your Parents demise, And of course, Feed you your Chilli… Do you like it?... Do you like it Scott?... I call it… Mr and Mrs Tenoramn Chilli.
Scott took a few Minutes to Process this before looking down at his Chilli.
Scott: Oh my god!
He put out something he saw in the Chilli and found… A finger with his Mothers wedding ring, Everyone gasped.
Scott: OH MY GOD!
He then threw up near Butters, Red and Pip as Cartman jumped on the table and danced.
Cartman: Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah! I made you eat your Parents, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah!
Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, Stan and Kyle were Horrified!
Stan: Jesus christ dude!
Dipper: My god…
Scott slammed his head on the Table and Cried.
Scott: My parents are dead! No! NOOOO!
Just than Radiohead came in.
Thom Yorke: What's going on here?
Stan: Who are you?
Johnny Greenwood: We're that Band Radiohead.
Bebe: Oh my god! Radiohead?
Ed O'brien: Jeez, What a little cry baby.
Colin Greenwood: You gonna cry all day little Crybaby?
Thom Yorke: You know everyone has problems, It doesn't mean you go and cry about them.
Ed O'brien: C'mon guys let's go, This kid is totally Uncool.
Thom Yorke: Yeah that's the most uncool kid I ever met.
Phil selway: Little Crybaby.
And they all left.
Scott: No, Wait! WAIT! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!
Scott cried as Cartman came up to him gleefully.
Cartman: Yes, Yes! Oh let me taste your Tears Scott.
He picked up Scotts head and Licked the tears off his Face.
Cartman: Hmm your tears are so Yummy and Sweet!
Wendy: You know guys, I think It might be best to never piss off Cartman for Personal enjoyment ever again.
Dipper: Good call.
Cartman: Oh the Tears of Unfathomable Sadness! Hmm, Yummy, Yummy you guys!
Derek Richards laughed as Cartman delivered a familiar reference.
Cartman: That's all folks!
To be Continued.
Well Hope you all enjoyed that, Just a few more Episodes until we reach the Fun stuff, Be sure to Review and Fav and Follow.
And check out the Rest of the World of Crossover legends through Season 1 and the Side Stories, Conquest of Egypt, Viva la New Queen and Tales from Animal farm.
And coming soon, The History of Crossover Legends, Season 1, The Quest for the Black Cauldron and Mabel's adventure, Coming soon.
EDIT: The Mentioned Characters of Megan and Brandon Richards belong to LoveFromJackie on Deviantart and Wattpad, And Nick belongs to Firemaster92 on Deviantart, You can look them up if you want, I don't really go on Deviantart anymore, Not since Eclipse took over.