Another week, another chapter! Thank you as always to my amazing beta AyakaSpencer. The theme of this weeks chapter is "No one sighs this much!"
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Two weeks later and they've fallen into an odd normality. They wake up in separate beds, make pleasantries over breakfast and coffee. They talk minimally throughout the day and only when necessary. Awkwardly avoiding the topics that might trigger animosity and anger between them. Then at night, Lena works late in her home office only surfacing for dinner, making small talk that borders on friendly. Lena juggles L-Corp and her search for the material Kara has told her about.
While Kara throws herself into being Supergirl, in an attempt to avoid all discussions about their life here, and publishes her usual exposes on Supergirl that Lena secretly reads over her lunch breaks.
It takes until it's late in the week and Lena's cooking when Kara returns home, still in her slacks because there weren't any Supergirl emergencies. As soon as Lena hears the thud of Kara's bag, however, she can tell that Kara hasn't had a great day. Rounding the corner, Kara flops onto a stool at the counter, a huff escaping her.
"Bad day?" Lena finds herself asking, and Kara nods into her hands. Lena sets a glass of wine down in front of her out of habit before refilling her own.
"I used to dream about throwing her into space," Kara sighs, removing her glasses and rubbing her eyes. "I'm seriously contemplating it again."
"Cat Grant is not that bad," Lena states with a smirk.
"She's vicious," Kara protests looking up and Lena can't help but laugh.
"Kara, you're literally impenetrable, it cannot be that bad."
"She made Mckenzie cry because she used the wrong adjective to describe Supergirl."
"I highly doubt it was just that," Lena justifies turning to find Kara staring pointedly at her. "Right, I see," Lena swallows thickly at the blue eyes pinning her as she tries to ignore the flood happening between her legs when Kara looks at her like that. "Cat can be formidable," Lena amends.
"I heard from Cisco today," Kara begins as she plays with the wineglass in front of her, causing Lena to still in her activities. "He's made a new device, and will be sending it over tomorrow for me to try."
"But how would I-"
"I'm going to try it first and if it works, then we can focus on getting you through," Kara explains.
"But-"
As if sensing Lena's rising panic, Kara stands walking close to her. "I'm not leaving you here, Lena. I promise"
Lena nods trying to calm her fears but then warm arms are around her and Lena hates that she relaxes into Kara's hug. Burying her face into Kara's shoulder as she's held close, and it's one of the hugs that she used to pray Kara would give her. The faint smell of summer rain under Kara's perfume makes Lena's head spin. Kara pulls away as Lena feels a different panic rising within her.
"What if it doesn't work?" Lena asks quietly.
"We'll try something else." Kara shrugs.
"Kara-" Lena begins to protest, but then she's staring up into blue eyes and her heart starts to do that horrible fluttering that it does when Kara catches her gaze.
"I'm getting us home, Lena."
Lena stands at the DEO's desert facility with Kara three days later, her stomach churning nervously. She glances at Alex and J'onn who are standing behind them.
"Kara," Lena begins to warn.
"It's fine, I know the rules, if I go through I'll come right back, I meant it when I said I wouldn't leave you," Kara reassures.
"Please be careful," Lena warns as Kara steps forward, throwing a smile over her shoulder at J'onn and Alex, who give small reassuring nods. Kara presses the only button on the small silver device and floats carefully off the ground as she does.
What happens next Lena can only describe as a disaster. Kara's flying upwards, picking up speed as she shoots towards the breach. Then she's gone and Lena's heart is in her mouth there's an explosion and a Supergirl shaped bullet hurtling back towards the facility. There's a crash with a bloom of dust where the super lands. Alex and J'onn are shouting into comms trying to communicate with Kara. Lena doesn't realise she's shouting Kara's name until Alex is holding her back from going to Kara.
"J'onn's getting her Lena, she's okay, I promise," Alex promises and Lena turns seeing the familiar hazel eyes staring intensely into her own.
Lena doesn't register Alex pulling her back into the building, only the rapid beating of her heart and the rhythmic tune of machines beeping as they monitor Kara's vitals, sunlamps reflecting Kara's tan skin. It takes six hours until they move to the DEO back in National City. Alex tries to reassure her repeatedly, but Lena was oblivious to it. Two hours later, Kara's lying awake trying to avoid Lena's disappointed gaze.
"Go ahead, say it," Kara mutters dejectedly as Lena steps up beside the bed and her temper that was already spiking, skyrockets.
"What?" Lena asks rhetorically. "That you're an idiot and that was a huge fucking mistake? That you should think for once in your life before jumping in without a scrap of a plan? That your recklessness could have killed us all?"
"Yeah. That."
Kara doesn't need to look up at Lena to know she's pinching her nose in a way that tells her how pissed the CEO is. As much as there's bite to her words Kara can tell Lena's worried about her.
"What part of being careful didn't you understand, Kara?" Lena hisses, and she doesn't miss when Kara rolls her eyes.
"I was careful, I wasn't expecting to hit a literal force field," Kara defends in a huff.
"Well- What was there? Other than a force field," Lena asks, sitting at Kara's side. Kara glances hesitantly at her with a small frown, then shrugs.
"Nothing," Kara mutters in defeat. "It wasn't our world, I don't even know what world it was, to be honest."
"What did it look like?" Lena asks curiously, rubbing her hands together trying to settle her nerves..
"I didn't get a good look, but it wasn't National City, there was rubble everywhere and," Kara pauses, glancing sideways at Lena. "You're not going to believe this."
"Try me," Lena challenges.
"The... The sky was purple," Kara shrugs uncomfortably
"Purple?" Lena states, arching a sceptical, sculpted brow.
"Yes, the sky was purple and it was just wasteland," Kara reiterates and Lena's face tells her how disbelieving she is of Kara's tale. "I told you, you wouldn't believe me," Kara sighs in defeat.
"Forgive me, Kara, but it is a bit unbelievable," Lena scoffs in disbelief.
"Well, it's the truth, and then I got hit with a force field and sent back here," Kara huffs.
"Were you hit with it or did you fly into it?" Lena asks dryly.
"Technicalities." Kara frowns at the ceiling.
There's a pregnant pause as Kara glances up at her. Lena's fidgeting in a way that tells Kara she's in her head.
"So, we're stuck here?" Lena finally asks quietly and Kara gives her a sympathetic smile. Kara watches as raven hair shields Lena's face from the look of disbelief, but Kara can tell in the way her heart upticks.
"Temporarily," Kara stresses.
"Kara-" Lena begins to protest.
"I made a promise, Lena," Kara states firmly and stares up and meets worried green eyes. "I'm going to do everything I can to keep it."
"Thank you," Lena whispers, and Kara gives her a bright smile that makes her chest ache.
"All right," Alex sighs as she enters the lab, tapping on a tablet. "How're you feeling?"
"Better, fantastic, can I go now?" Kara asks in quick succession, getting up, eager to get on with her day.
"Nice try," Alex admonishes. "But you were unconscious, so I want to keep you under observation for at least another hour."
Kara lets out a dramatic sigh as she flops back down on the bed. "You should head back to work Lena, she's going to be here a while, I can pop over tonight and see if we can come up with something?" Alex suggests and Lena gives her a small smile, nodding before squeezing Kara's arm lightly.
"Thank you for trying," Lena whispers in a tone only Kara can hear, and the Kryptonian gives her a small nod.
Returning to L-Corp was harder than Lena imagined. The thought of going back to an office that didn't feel like hers makes her uncomfortable, but seeing Jess and sitting at her desk, Lena sighs. She was stuck here. This was it, there wasn't another universe, there was nothing but the time and life they were in.
Lex was right. She hates the thoughts that plague her as she admits it to herself. Lex was right, he was right about a lot of things, she realises. He was right about the Harun El; he was right about the Q waves, and he was even right about Kara.
Sweet Kara, who was doing everything in her power to get them back to their home. A home she wasn't sure even counted anymore. Wondering why she's even fighting to return somewhere, she will basically be alone. No, Sam and Ruby and definitely no Jack.
Pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes, Lena centres herself. She could stay, she thinks rationally, she could stay and work with Sam and Jack just as she had always wanted to. Have the family she had always wanted. But then there was Kara. Kara who was trying so hard with everything. Kara who was meant to be her wife and the presence of the silver rings become heavy on her finger as she looks at them. A wife who was once her best friend, her best friend who had kissed her two weeks ago, and they were conveniently weren't discussing it. Her mind wandered to the idea of being with Kara before she shook it away. She used to think about it a lot, but then Mon-el happened and Lean knew they couldn't be a thing. But they had slept together, and Kara had instigated it, her mind reminded her. No, Kara was just reacting, Lena countered herself.
"Hey." A voice pulls Lena from her thoughts, looking up to see Sam peering into her office. Lena smiles, standing from her desk and shaking thoughts of Kara from her mind. "I brought you lunch since it's like three and Jess said you haven't eaten."
"It's good to know you and my assistant are keeping tabs on me," Lena snarks while sitting with Sam on the couch.
"Someone has to, just be glad we don't report it to Kara," Sam teases and Lena manages to catch the uptick in her breath at the mention of the Super. She smiles at Sam's comment before taking the box with her lunch.
"So where were you this morning?" Sam asks curiously. "I popped by to get your thoughts on the R&D budget but, Jess said you weren't in."
"I, um, was at the DEO with Kara," Lena admits and the defeat of the situation creeps into her mind.
"Is everything ok?" Sam asks. Frowning, Lena can hear the concern lacing her tone and all her caution snaps and the truth floods from her.
"No," Lena sighs. "No, nothing's ok," Lena whispers as she stares at the silver rings on her finger. "I'm not married to Kara," Lena states in a hushed whisper. "I'm not married to Kara and our apartment isn't our apartment, this life isn't mine because Kara and I aren't from here,'" Lena explains.
"What are you talking about, Lena?" Sam asks with widened eyes. "Is this, is this about your fight with Kara?" Sam asks quietly, panic slipping into her tone.
"Yes, but not the one you remember, Sam. I'm... we're from another universe," Lena whispers. The pause is deafening and Lena waits, the silence passing between them, and she hates how it engulfs her.
"H-How?" Sam asks and Lena watches her clench her fists, clearly uncomfortable with what Lena is saying.
"My universe was destroyed, it's a long story, but Kara and I- we woke up here, married and we weren't, aren't on the best terms." Lena corrects herself. "I was at the DEO this morning trying to see if there was another way back to our earth," Lena explains quietly.
"Is there?" Sam asks, her voice in a whisper, and Lena can't help but shake her head as her tears of frustration spill. The warmth of Sam surrounds her as she's pulled into a tight hug. Lena doesn't know how long she sobs into Sam's arms as the weight of her situation sinks in. She's stuck here, forced to live a life that isn't in a paradox of emotion, a want to stay and live the life she has been given and the want to go back to familiarity.
"Lena," Sam whispers, pulling back to look at Lena. "You said this isn't your life, tell me the differences?" Sam wonders quietly, and Lena stares into soft brown eyes. Taking a shaky breath, Lena does. She tells Sam everything up till the crisis, revealing every small detail and the emotions she felt through it all.
There's silence for several moments as Sam nods, the look of shock as her lips try to form soothing words before she shakes her head. "No wonder you've been acting so weird."
Lena can only laugh as Sam pulls her into another tight embrace. "So, you're stuck here, so what?" Sam asks, not understanding the problem.
"I can't be married to Kara, Sam," Lena states in explanation.
"Why not?" Sam asks. "Is there not a possibility on your earth where you could have been married? Could you not have loved each other, eventually?" Sam asks. "The real question is, do you want Kara, in a romantic sense?"
Lena stares into those sharp eyes before shaking her head, "I can't be married to Kara."
"That wasn't what I asked." Sam smiles knowingly, and Lena shakes her head again.
"You have time to think about what you want, Lena, and that's not a bad thing. I've known you for a long time and you're always happier when you and Kara are together," Sam informs her and Lena sends her a look of doubt. "Look, do you remember when I was Reign, and you hated Kara, because of the distrust between you?"
"I didn't hate Kara-" Sam's look shuts her up.
"My point is that you may not have liked Kara very much then as Supergirl, but Kara was always there for you, always in your corner fighting for you. Even if she didn't agree with it," Sam reminds her. "You will always find your way back to each other, you will always be friends deep down. You love each other regardless of what happens."
"And what if she doesn't love me, Sam," Lena bursts out, standing, and striding to the wet bar, trying to hold back tears. "What if Kara couldn't care less about being with me like that?" Lena takes a deep breath as she whispers. "I can't take another rejection in my life."
"Lena, when has Kara ever rejected you?" Sam asks, knowingly.
Lena spins, "The Kryptonite-"
"As Kara, your Kara, when has she ever rejected you?" Sam cuts her off and Lena's jaw works, finding the tall woman is right. Sam smiles softly, standing and walking to her, taking Lena's shaking hands in her own. "I know my memories are different, but Kara has always loved you, Lena, in some way or another, you just have to trust her."
"I can't lose her, Sam," Lena whispers. "After everything I've done, she's still here, still helping me, and I don't deserve it."
"That sounds awfully like love to me," Sam states, obviously. Lena looks away unable to face the truth. "You deserve happiness, Lena. The Kara I know would give the world to you if she could," Sam reassures. "And I'm sure this Kara would too."
Lena swipes the tears that have certainly fallen and Sam smiles softly. "I'm sorry this is not what you came to talk to me about on a Thursday afternoon."
Sam chuckles, shaking her head, "It's what I'm here for, other universe sister-in-law rules." Lena can't help the laugh that spills from her as she hugs Sam tightly.
"Thank you," Lena says, smiling. Sam nods with a grin before gesturing back to lunch. "Food?"
Lena walks into the apartment later that evening to find Kara curled up on the couch, with a large portion of potstickers on her lap.
"Hey," The Kryptonian grumbles as the TV flickers over to a nondescript Rom-Com Lena's never seen.
"Hey," Lena greets, depositing her bag as she moves around the kitchen. She has barely gotten a wine glass down before Kara informs her that there is an open bottle of white in the fridge.
Lena follows the small instruction and with a filled glass in hand moves to join Kara on the couch.
"What are we watching?" She asks casually, trying to gauge if she is the source of Kara's displeasure.
"Doesn't matter," Kara mutters as she turns it off. The Kryptonian turns with a sigh. "Lena, I'm sorry about today."
"Kara, you tried," Lena begins, but Kara shakes her head.
"It should have worked, and it didn't and I'm so sorry." Kara pouts.
"It's alright, you... You did what you could."
"But it should have worked," Kara explodes, shooting to her feet, making Lena jump. "It should have taken us home, to our earth."
"I know Kara, but it was never a guarantee," Lena justifies standing trying to soothe her. "You said so yourself."
"That isn't the point," Kara states crestfallen. "The point was to go home. I just… I can't disappoint you, not again."
"You haven't disappointed me, Kara," Lena protests. "And that shouldn't have been your justification for risking your life."
"I just want to give you this," Kara argues, and Lena steps forward, moving her hand soothingly up and down Kara's arms.
"Kara it's not-"
Lena is silenced by Kara's soft lips against hers. Causing her brain to short circuit as her eyes flutter closed, giving in to the tenderness of the moment. Kara kisses her, and it's soft and slow and everything she imagined as Kara rests her hands on Lena's hips.
Lena feels the tension in Kara's shoulders ease as Lena deepens the kiss. Strong arms wrap around her waist deepening the kiss, pouring everything she can into showing Kara what she wants even if it's only for a night.
The door slams open and they jump apart like they've been electrocuted.
Lena turns, bringing her fingers to her lips as they tingle from the kiss.
"Alright, I have bad news and Luthor I'm going to kill you," Alex announces as she stalks in. Lena turns back with an arched brow.
"Alex, what's going on?" Kara demands as she steps in front of Lena, eyebrows knit in irritation.
"She told Sam everything," Alex states pointing her finger accusingly at Lena and Kara spins to face her, body tense with disappointment.
"You did what?" Kara asks in disbelief.
"Kara, I'm sorry, I was upset, and she kept asking me all these questions," Lena defends before looking at Alex. "Is Sam's ok, is anything wrong?"
"Sam's fine, but how could you be so reckless? Damnit Lena," Alex curses, rubbing her forehead.
"Alex, you should calm down," Kara warns, her eyes darting to her sister's stomach.
"Don't tell me to calm down, Kara," Alex practically growls, glaring at her sister. The Kryptonian visibly flinches.
"I'm sorry Alex, I didn't mean to worry you or upset Sam," Lena apologises wrapping her arms self-consciously around herself. Alex waves her off with a huff as she sets down takeout on the counter.
"So, what was the bad news?" Kara asks as she opens the bag.
"Well, I um, I kind of forgot in all this," Alex gestures to Kara and Lena. "It's um, well it's my baby shower this weekend."
"What?" Kara squeaks. "How could you forget? That's so awesome." Kara says, bouncing excitedly.
"Yeah, well, that was partly the bad news, I guess," Alex admits rubbing the back of her neck.
"How is that bad news, that's a good thing," Kara protests.
"Yeah, well, Mom's coming," Alex states. "And you guys wouldn't know this, but um, she normally stays here."
"Wait, what?" Lena speaks up for the first time since this conversation started.
"Eliza, our mom, normally stays with you guys."
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