Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.

For the heart I once had

Chapter 12

Razouli's death was a mystery. It seemed he had collapsed on the spot, and the forensics report came back negative on toxins. But was it natural causes then? Razouli had been a relatively healthy man. Heart failure didn't seem like a likely option, but it was the only rational explanation for his death.

None of the former Gundam Pilots were allowed in on the investigation. Not bothered in the slightest, the five men worked together to locate Aalia. Now that the threat of Razouli was out of the way, they could openly search for her.

For the first time in a year, Trowa felt hopeful.

He was going to find her. Some gut feeling told him it was going to work out. Even so, they made slow and little progress as they searched through countless data banks. The interviews with Agent Simmons' colleagues were downright frustrating. No, they didn't know where Agent Simmons had taken Aalia, and no, they had no idea if there were any external hard drives on which he had kept information.

Trowa told himself he was making an effort and that counted for something.

And then Agent Hauff showed up with a tiny bit of information.

"I have stumbled upon hospital records that fit the description of Miss Winner," she announced as she seated herself in the chair in front of his desk.

Quatre straightened in his own seat behind the spare desk they had placed into Trowa's office. "You have news."

She nodded and gave a hint of a smile, that somewhat softened the stern appearance. "Your daughter was born on L3."

A daughter… Trowa exhaled and nearly doubled over when he felt Quatre's hand land on his shoulder. He had a daughter…

"You're sure it was Aalia?"

"I'm sure. The ID she provided at the hospital was the one we issued for her for this particular use."

"It's not possible to track her on the other ID?" Quatre asked.

Agent Hauff shook her head. "No. She had specific instructions to use this ID only in the hospital, so that the hospital staff would know who to contact in case of an emergency. The other ID is not in our data base."

"If she went to a hospital in L3 to give birth, she might still be in the area. It narrows our search down," Trowa said when he finally managed to find his voice.

"It's still going to be tough," Quatre grumbled. "L3 has quite a few colonies."

"We'll find her." Trowa was more determined than ever to succeed.

A daughter… He allowed a tiny smile to form on his face. Did she look like Aalia? What was her name? His heart gave a little thud in his chest as he imagined a little girl with blonde wavy hair like her mother. She'd be about five months old now.

He didn't allow himself to dwell on all the things he'd already missed. He would get to meet her. And then he'd be there every step on the way.

-x-x-x-

Aalia sighed as she closed the door of her apartment, feeling tired and weary. She pushed the stroller into the living room and focused on the babbling baby in it. It was hard to look at her child. The girl had Trowa's eyes.

It was hard to be alone, but it was a fact she had come to live with. Not once, in all those months after she had left, Trowa had contacted her. She wanted, desperately, to believe that he hadn't abandoned her. That it probably still wasn't safe to come back. But on days like these, a little, nagging voice in the back of her head told her he hadn't wanted her after all.

She bit her lip as she felt tears come up. She didn't want to do this alone.

The women around here all stared at her when she walked by with the stroller. They talked about her. Being a single mother here almost seemed like a crime, and Aalia often caught the women whispering about her as she walked over the market to buy groceries. She hated it here. The colony was rather small in comparison to the others in the cluster, and her days were dull. Quatre had ensured there was enough money for her to live off before she had gone into the witness protection, so she didn't need to get a job and could fully focus on her baby. With her lack of social contacts on her, her world had become rather small, but it had its pros too. She had become strong on her own.

She wouldn't move. She would wait for Trowa to find her.

If he still wanted her.

She lifted her child out of the stroller and held her. The baby shifted in her arms and grinned up at her.

"Hey there, pretty girl," Aalia said softly.

She nuzzled the baby's cheek to avoid looking at her eyes. It hurt. She loved her baby; she just couldn't look at her eyes sometimes. It reminded her too much of happier times…

"Please, Trowa…" she whispered. "Come for me soon."

-x-x-x-

Quatre hung up the phone with a sigh and shook his head. Still nothing. Heero had tried to hack into Agent Simmons personal data bases, but he had been unsuccessful. No records of Aalia were in there. Trowa and Wufei had started running checks on the citizen registration offices on L3. The first three colonies, starting with the one that held her hospital records, hadn't given them any information on a woman that fit Aalia's description.

The search was tiring, but they weren't giving up now. Quatre had a feeling they were very close to a break through.

He rubbed his hands over his face and looked up when the door to his office opened, and Rashid came walking in.

"Rashid!" Quatre was on his feet the next instant, approaching the tall man with a smile on his face.

It had been a while since the last time Quatre had seen him. Rashid gave him a warm smile and clapped him on his shoulder. "How are you doing, Master Quatre?"

"I'm good! Have a seat!"

As always it was near comical to see Rashid fold himself into one of the comfortable chairs in front of Quatre's desk. His presence always made the room seem smaller, and the furniture as if it belonged in a doll house.

"I'll call for coffee." Quatre hurried towards the door to give the instructions to his assistant, before seating himself behind the desk again.

Before long, they were deep into a discussion on Aalia's whereabouts. Rashid was offering to sent the Maganacs into the colonies to look for her, but it was something Quatre didn't want to do yet.

"We're not sure if Razouli had any contacts looking for her."

"He didn't." Rashid gave a little smirk. "I made sure of it."

Quatre sat staring at the tall man in shock, then deflated and sagged back in his chair. "You killed him."

"From what I gathered he died of a heart attack." Rashid's tone was casual enough, but his eyes were gleaming.

"How?"

Rashid smirked. "That is something I will take with me to the grave."

Quatre shook his head. "You cannot be serious."

It took a long time for the feeling of shock to dissipate. Even hours after Rashid had left, Quatre's mind was still reeling. But of one thing he was sure. If Rashid said he had taken care of things, there weren't any other people on the loose searching for his sister.

She was safe. And when they would find her, she would remain that way.

-x-x-x-

"Look at her…"

Aalia rolled her eyes, irritated by the gossiping of the women in the store. It seemed to be getting worse by the day. She packed up her groceries and pushed the stroller outside. The baby was making gurgling noises, happily waving one of her bite rings about. Aalia allowed a small smile to form. Her daughter was so beautiful with her sweet smile and innocent eyes. Looking at her made the gossip in the store seem like a little inconvenience.

She walked back to the apartment through the park, enjoying the weather, even though it was artificial. She missed Earth's natural weather, the unpredictable nature of it. She desperately hoped that she would get to witness it again soon.

Thoughts of Trowa flooded her mind once more, and she had to stop walking and blink back her tears. She had to be strong. Strong for herself, and for her daughter. She had promised him that, hadn't she? And she had come so far already. Here she had to rely on herself, face her trauma's and demons on her own, because Trowa wasn't here to guide or comfort her.

She had become independent. It was something to be proud of.

She resumed her way to her apartment. A poster stapled to a tree caught her attention. A traveling circus had just arrived on the colony and their first show would be that night. She smiled slightly to herself. She would go. A little bit of distraction was always good.

-x-x-x-

"We're on L3 now, so why don't you come over for a while?"

Trowa sighed. "I don't know. Should I? We're still working on going through the databases."

Catherine bristled. "You can do that here just fine. And if you have a lead, it will be much easier to trace it."

Trowa remembered the last time he had visited the circus, and Catherine's concerned hovering. While he normally didn't mind, it had been a bit overwhelming. But, in a way, she was right. He would be close by in case a lead did come up.

"Alright, I'll come over," Trowa said. He could book the ticket for the evening flight if he was quick.

"Great." He could hear the smile in her voice. "So… You'll call me later?"

"I will."

He hung up after saying goodbye. With a sigh he sat down on the couch and leaned his head back against the backrest. He took the baby sock out of his pocket and stared at it. He had held it so many times in the past few months. The fabric was still soft, but by now his daughter wouldn't fit them anymore. A small smile came to play over his face. He was going to L3. He still had enough vacation hours left and if he combined it with working there, he could stay on the colonies for an extended period of time.

Aalia… I'm going to find you.

-x-x-x-

Aalia wandered around the cages with her daughter in her arms, watching her react to the animals with excited squeals and enthusiastic babbling. She was squirming in her hold, reaching little hands towards the cage's bars.

Aalia eyed the lion in the cage with a mingling of fear and respect. "We can't go closer."

Her daughter giggled and squirmed in her hold once more.

"No, we're not doing that." Aalia chuckled and shifted the child's weight towards her hip. Visiting the circus grounds had lifted her spirits a little and her child had picked up on her approved mood, her antics more bubbly and entertaining than usual. "That lion might eat you, you know."

"I'm pretty sure he won't," said a kind and warm female voice behind her.

Aalia turned towards the woman standing behind her. She was slender and very pretty, with bright blue eyes and brown hair that curled around her face. She was dressed in jeans and a thin sweater, looking very much at ease. It was obvious she was part of the circus crew.

"She just loves all the animals," Aalia said, while gesturing towards the child still babbling excitedly in her arms.

"I can see that." The woman smiled brightly and stepped closer. "Did you enjoy our show?"

Aalia nodded. "I did. Very much actually."

"That is nice to hear." The woman directed her warm smile at the child. "I always think it is nice for children to witness the magic of the circus from a very young age."

"Yeah…"

"I'm Catherine, by the way," the woman introduced herself, while holding out her hand.

Aalia shook it and nearly blundered when she had to introduce herself. "I'm A-Anna."

Give the fact that she was treated like a pariah by the locals, she never had to use her new name that often.

The baby squealed and reached towards Catherine with a mischievous smile on her face. "Daaa!"

Aalia gave a shy smile. "She wants you to hold her."

"My!" Catherine chuckled and scooped the child out of her arms. "Aren't you pretty?"

The baby reached for the woman's brown curls and buried her fingers in it.

Catherine smiled warmly. She love children and often doted on the circus crew's offspring, pampering baby's with knitted blankets and stuffed animals, telling the older ones stories and teaching them how to tend to the circus animals. It came natural to her to hold a child.

The baby looked up at her and Catherine had to suppress a gasp. The baby's eyes were a deep green and nearly made her do a double take. She knew those eyes! She looked at Anna again. But this woman could not be the woman Trowa was looking for... Right? He had described Aalia as a blonde, and this woman's hair was brown.

"You have very pretty eyes," Catherine told the child in her arms.

She saw Anna shift and bite her lip. "She has, hasn't she?"

There was so much pain in the young woman's voice that Catherine started to doubt her own judgment. Maybe her hair had been died brown? Was it possible?

Hope made her heart skip a beat. She had to make this woman come back to the circus! Trowa would arrive in the afternoon. He had to see for himself.

"Why don't you come back to tomorrow's show? I can get you some tickets," Catherine said to Anna. "If you come by afterwards my brother can introduce you to the lion."

"Oh…" Anna seemed to hesitate.

"I insist!" Catherine smiled at her.

She handed her back the child and mentioned her to follow her to her trailer. Inside she searched through a couple of drawers until she found a couple of tickets she kept for situations like this. "Here."

Anna accepted the tickets. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Catherine said warmly. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes." Anna smiled at her.

"Good."

She watched Anna go. She hoped with all her heart that this was the woman Trowa was looking for. Trowa deserved to be happy…

- End chapter 12 -