Managed to finish my chapter today. I've been doing a lot of prep work for my NaNoWriMo fic this week. Hoping to balance the two over the next week, though it's my busy week at work. Fingers crossed it won't take long for there to be more!
The lamp illuminated the small corner of the room in which Maura was sat. She tucked one foot underneath herself on the chair, a novel in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. It was late, later than she'd intended to stay awake, and too late to be drinking wine. But the day had been stressful and finding Maya's bed empty did nothing to alleviate the pressure.
Reaching for her phone, she noted that it was already past one. She reminded herself over and over that Maya was a good girl, she was mature for her years, and usually did the right thing. The only problem was she was out far later than she ever had been before without Maura, and though she knew her to be responsible, she also understood that teenage parties were a hotbed for less than responsible behaviour.
Finding Maya's contact, she lifted her phone to her ear.
No answer.
She considered logging into the Find Your Phone app. She agreed that Maya could only have a cell phone if she allowed Maura access to her location. But they had also agreed it was for emergencies only.
As emergent as the situation felt, she had a vague idea of where Maya probably was.
"Don't be so ridiculous," she muttered, placing her cell on the small table beside her.
She sipped her wine and refocused her attention on the crime novel. The main character, a medical examiner, had just phoned the detective to inform them of the DNA results. Maura rolled her eyes. She didn't know why she bothered reading stories that frustrated her, perhaps a sense of understanding her world through others' eyes.
She returned the bookmark between the pages and switched her book with her cell. "It would take far longer."
The moment did little to distract her fractured thoughts. She opened the Find Your Phone app. "This is an emergency," she told herself. "I have no idea if my daughter is safe."
The blue dot on the map signifying Maya's location made her sit upright. Carrying her phone, Maura took another look in Maya's room. Empty. She flicked on the light and scanned the locations she usually kept her cell.
"I don't understand," she said, forcing the app to close down before opening it again. The dot didn't move.
A message popped up at the top of her screen. She hesitated on seeing Jane's name. But, more worried about Maya, she opened it up.
'Maya is here. She's sleeping on my couch. Talk in the morning. Don't worry'
"Don't worry?" She pressed the call button and waited for it to connect. "How long has she been there?"
On the other end of the line, Jane sighed. "Hi, Maura. I told you, don't worry."
"How can I not worry? My daughter isn't in her bed where she belongs. I'm coming to get her."
"No."
"No?" She bit her lip to stop herself from jumping the gun. "Jane, Maya is my daughter and I am worried. I need to bring her home."
The line went silent. Maura was about to check the call was still connected when Jane responded.
"Look, she's been to a party, she's had a couple of drinks. She's upset about your fight. She needs some chill time. Give her tonight, please? We can talk in the morning."
"Fine," she said, retreating. The last thing she wanted was to make the situation worse. Maura said goodbye and hung up the phone. She shut off the lamp and trudged through the darkened room, crawled under the bedsheets, and tried to find a way back into sleep.
X
Jane handed a grey blanket and a spare pillow to Maya. She sat on the couch, rearranging the pillow. In the next room, Teagan start crying, her squawks growing louder the longer it went on. Rubbing her temple, Jane let out a sigh.
"Do you want me to help?" Maya asked, standing up.
She shook her head. "Get some sleep. I can sort out Teagan."
Closing the bedroom door behind her, Jane scooped her daughter into her arms and settled onto the bedsheets. The second she connected Teagan to her nipple, the apartment descended into silence. She closed her eyes. Every so often she could hear suckling or the brush of a little foot against the bedsheets. From the room next door, Maya made no noise.
The charge in Maura's voice overwhelmed her. In the semi-darkness, Teagan's mouth stopped moving and she lay silent. Jane stayed still for a moment. She imagined the way she felt about her daughter now amplified by fourteen years. How different would it be? How much stronger
'I should have called you sooner,' Jane wrote. 'Im sorry. Chat tomorrow'
Once Teagan was settled back into her crib, Jane was left with the night. She shuffled under the sheets, her heart rate slowing the longer she relaxed into sleep.
X
Eight o'clock arrived, much to Maura's dissatisfaction. Once again, she'd barely slept, and any hope of sleeping in dissipated with the first light coming in through the blinds. The moment she realised it was morning, her mind travelled downstairs to her daughter, to their relationship hanging by an old thread.
By nine she had made pancake batter, cooked herself some pancakes and ate them with some fruit and syrup. She placed the rest of the batter in the fridge and hoped it would still be fresh when Maya finally came home.
When her cell rang out from the bedroom, Maura ran from the bathroom, nearly skidding across the wet tiles. She lifted her cell to her ear.
"Jane?"
"It is Adanna, Doctor Isles. I am sorry to call you before ten."
She sighed, disappointed that it wasn't Jane, or Maya. "It's fine. What can I do for you, Adanna?"
"I am sorry to tell you we have had a break in."
She sunk to her bed, the phone shook against her ear. The last thing she needed that morning was another break in. The locksmith had already finished the work on the apartments and was starting on the external doors. Given how soon Adanna would be leaving, they had agreed to leave theirs until the changeover period before the next resident.
"What happened?" she asked, chewing her bottom lip. "I'm so sorry this has happened to you. We will change the locks immediately."
"Obi and I stayed over with Samuel and when we returned the door was open. Like the others, we have had nothing taken, nothing touched. I do not think this is malicious."
"I will forward you information for Detective Foucault, he is my contact at the police department. If he'd not available today then they can send out a uniformed officer, and I will follow up with Detective Foucault on Monday."
"Thank you, Doctor Isles," she said, her voice calm despite the drama.
Maura walked into the kitchen. She tapped her fingers along her thigh. "I have a few things on today. Would it be okay if I stop by after four?"
"After four would be perfect," Adanna said. "Obi and I are going to bake Nigerian buns, I know you cannot resist them."
"That sounds wonderful." She took a wine glass out of the cupboard and opened the wine fridge. "Are you and Obi safe?"
"We are fine."
She lifted out the bottle of Chablis that she'd opened the night before and emptied the last of the contents into the glass. "I'll send the detective's information in a moment, take care, Adanna."
Drinking wine before ten did not sit right with Maura, excepting the occasions she took part in a full spa day and was offered a glass on arrival. She held the glass in hand for a moment, regretful that she had poured it at all. The security issue had gone on long enough, and though the lock change would soon be complete, she couldn't hide the fact that she felt unsettled by the whole thing.
She re-read Jane's message from the night before and sighed. She longed to see her daughter, to pull her into her arms and tell her how much she loved her.
'What time are you coming up?' she typed out and sat down at the dining table to drink her wine.
X
"Maybe I could have some breakfast before we go?" Maya asked, standing at the fridge, the door open. "You have fruit, I could make a fruit salad."
"You have food at home," Jane said, pushing the door closed. She balanced Teagan against her shoulder. "We agreed you could stay the night, it's nearly lunchtime. I know you feel comfortable here but that doesn't mean you haven't outstayed your welcome."
"But," Maya began. Teagan lifted her head, her whole face contorted as she screamed. "Smells like Teagan needs changing, let me do it. I can help."
Jane carried her across to the small table, rolled out the changing mat, and placed her on it. "I can change her diaper myself. Make sure you have all of your things. Didn't you have a jacket on last night?"
"It's by the door."
"Wriggling isn't gonna get your butt changed, Little Miss," Jane said, resting one hand on Teagan's feet, she struggled to unclip the pressers. "Teagan!"
Maya rushed to her side, took hold of Teagan's legs, and held them steady. Her face was bright red, her knees still jerking as she tried to escape the temporary prison. Before Jane could open her mouth, Maya sang a nursery rhyme and Teagan stared at her, her cries gone.
"Thank you," Jane said, tugging her onesie up and over her stomach. "This doesn't mean I'm not gonna take you home though."
"Please, Jane, just a couple more hours."
"You're not staying, Maya," she said, pulling wipes from the packet. She scrunched up her nose as she unfastened the diaper. "I'm sorry that you don't wanna face the music, but you've already been given extra time. You said it yourself last night, you fucked up. You're not skipping out of the consequences."
Her voice shrunk. "But what if she hates me."
"Your Mom could never hate you." She placed the discarded wipes on the used diaper at the top of the changing mat. "You're a good kid, even under all that teenage attitude you have going on sometimes. Don't let one mistake fuck everything up with your mother."
"Were you like that? Did you fuck things up with your Mom?"
The mere mention of her mother cut like a knife. She chewed the inside of her mouth. Pulling down the onesie, Jane secured the pressers and rested Teagan against her shoulder. "We're not talking about that. Grab your things, we're going upstairs."
The front door opened. Maura's eyes were wide, her face pale. Too pale. Jane had never seen her look so washed out before. Despite Maura's insistence in her messages, Jane was surprised when nobody spoke. Closing the door behind them, Maura placed a wine glass in the dishwasher and pulled a jug out of the fridge.
"Want some pancakes?"
The reservations aside, Maya closed the gap between them, wrapping her arms tightly around Maura's waist. Maura took one brief glance at Jane before hugging her back.
"Are you okay?"
"I should go," Jane said, backing up towards the door. "You've got a lot to talk about."
Maya turned around. "Can you stay?"
"Are you sure?"
"I want you to be here when I tell her."
"Tell me what?" Maura asked, her eyes wide, her cheeks barely changing colour.
X
The look of panic in Maya's eyes unsettled her more than her words. She was grateful for the pancakes she'd eaten otherwise the glass of wine would have gone directly to her head. A moment passed by, silent, empty, uncomfortable. There was something in the way that Maya had hugged Maura that made the whole situation feel insurmountably more confusing.
"Tell me what?" Maura asked again, terse.
Maya pointed to the dining table. "Can we sit down?"
Maura knew that the only way she was going to find out from Maya directly was to tread carefully, to allow her to lead. She placed the jug of batter on the bench and slipped into the seat opposite her daughter.
"I'll make some pancakes," Jane said, laying a sleeping Teagan on a blanket and some pillows and opening a couple of cupboards.
"Check the drawer under the burners."
She pulled out a frying pan with a smile on her face. Maura returned her attention to Maya, constantly reminding herself not to interfere in Jane's cooking and that she'd figure out where everything was through a little detective work.
"What's going on, Maya?" Maura asked, reaching her hand across the table. Maya moved her hands under the table, away from Maura, away from the possibility of touch. She forged a smile. "May?"
"I…I kind of…well, it's okay, it was okay, I promise."
"What was okay?"
"The…the sex."
"What sex?" Maura linked her fingers, squeezing so tightly that her knuckles paled. "Did you have sex at the party, Maya?"
She averted her gaze. All Maura could see was the top of her head, her shoulders rising and falling. She scratched the back of her neck and glanced up at Maura, catching her eye briefly before looking down again.
"Oh, right."
To say she was shocked would have been an understatement. She didn't know what to say, or what to do, to get it right, so for a moment she stayed silent.
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry?" Maura reached her hand across the table. "You don't need to be sorry; you don't ever need to be sorry about sex. How are you feeling? Were you safe? Do we need to make an appointment for birth control?"
She shrugged. "I'm okay. It was fine."
"Fine?" Leaning forward, Maura reached up to her face and brushed her hair back. Gradually, Maya's walls dropped, and she sat upright. "I know the first time can be awkward, and uncomfortable, are you okay? Is there anything you want to ask?"
"I was safe," Maya said, looking into her eyes. "I promise. We had an argument afterwards so that's why it was fine. I don't need birth control; I don't think it'll be happening anytime soon."
"Oh." Maura placed her hand over Maya's the moment she lifted them onto the table. "What happened? You can talk to me."
"I don…it doesn't matter."
Something about her tone of voice made Maura think it did matter, but she didn't want to push the subject. Maya's cheeks had reddened, her eyes darted back and forth between Maura's and the table. Despite being nearly sixteen, the way she sunk back in her chair reminded Maura of how young she really was. Her face was still a little round, her eyes full of wonder and questions. She could see the four year old looking back at her, merging with the fifteen year old she knew so much better. In that moment, she felt the distance grow, where it should have shrunk, and she didn't really know why.
"Pancakes?" Jane asked, holding up two plates.
The interruption was not welcomed by Maura, but from the look on Maya's face, she was grateful for something else to focus on.
"I ate earlier," Maura said, standing up. "Please, join Maya to eat."
"Thanks." Jane placed the plates on the table, grabbed syrup and a bowl of fruit that Maura had cut up and left in the fridge. She took Maura's chair and handed Maya a fork. "The batter is perfect, Maura."
"Thank you," she said, hovering on the sidelines.
The longer she stood there, the more of a spare part she felt. Maya's smile grew wide and she talked freely to Jane about a movie she loved. She couldn't find the words to explain how she felt, wasn't even sure if now was the right moment to share. It had been such a difficult and painful week. Eventually, she made her excuses and disappeared into her office.
X
Jane was sat on the floor, holding Teagan upright when Maura walked in. She stood quickly, lifting Teagan into her arms.
"Hey."
"I thought you would have gone," Maura said. "I heard Maya's bedroom door close and her music."
"Yeah." Jane hopped from one foot to the other. The lack of colour in Maura's face still concerned her and she wasn't about to walk out on a friend. "I thought I'd hang around."
"It's fine. You should go home. I'll be grounding Maya later, so for at least a week she won't be able to babysit at your apartment. If you need her help, you're welcome to bring Teagan around here where I can keep an eye on my daughter."
"Sure." She laid Teagan over her arm and bounced her a little. "Do you need to talk?"
Maura stood in the kitchen, piling up the plates and emptying excess batter into the trash. "Why would I need to talk?"
"Sorry, I should have done those," Jane said, walking over to the bench. She sat Teagan down, holding her close. "I thought maybe you wanted to talk about what happened last night, or about anything else. Are you okay?"
"Fine."
"I don't think that you are."
"There was another break in," Maura said.
The words pulled Jane's attention away from the subject at hand. Part of her wanted to jump backwards, to not allow her to distract her, but the news left her feeling anything but okay. "What happened?"
"Adanna and Obi came home to find their door open, much like your own circumstance."
"I need to go," Jane said, scooping Teagan up and resting her over her shoulder as she headed for the front door.
"Wait, Jane," Maura said, her voice having confidence in it for the first time all morning. She turned back to her. "I'm doing everything I can to secure the property."
"I know." She didn't know. She assumed as much but deep down she knew it wasn't enough. She tugged open the front door and shrugged. "I have to go."