Author's Note: Hey guys! Thank you for the reviews recently. Hopefully you will like this chapter, we're getting closer, but there are still a few more chapters to go. As always reviews are massively appreciated. Enjoy!
Chapter Twelve
Buck
He and Chase sat quietly in the reception of Matt's office. It was air conditioned and airy, with large floor to ceiling windows on the right as they entered and an off-white wall on the left with granite lettering that read 'Clark Security'. The facing wall was frosted glass, like the door in the left-hand corner of the room. The words 'Matthew Clark, CEO' was printed on the door.
Buck could see two silhouettes inside the office, but one, a woman, stood nearer the door. He took this to mean she must be leaving soon and he began to feel nervous as he realised he would need to convince Matt to give him Abby's address. How would he explain why he had a sudden need to speak to her? He didn't think Matt was likely to react favourably to hearing that Buck had slept with Abby and then left her in tears the next morning. He also didn't know how much Matt even knew, for all he knew Abby could've already told Matt the whole story, though he hoped she hadn't. His thoughts were interrupted as the door opened, he heard a voice and froze. He knew that voice. It was her voice. Before he really had time to process the thought, she appeared in the door and looked up. Her whole body seemed to go rigid, her eyes were wide and she kept her grip on the door handle, as if she might not stay standing if she let it go.
"Buck." It was more a statement than a question. Then she disappeared back inside the room and closed the door. He could see her leaning against the door as if trying to hold it closed. He could now hear Matt's voice, it was muffled but he could just make it out.
"Abby? Abs? What's the matter?"
Chase smirked next to him.
"Oh my god, she's here! That's her. That's her, isn't it?"
"Yes, obviously that's her." Buck wasn't quite as amused by this as Chase was, he wasn't amused at all. The receptionist was now eyeing them suspiciously, as they waited to see what would happen next.
Abby
She'd reacted without really thinking. With Buck, there in the reception room, she had nowhere to go but back. However, she had not considered that this would raise several questions from Matt.
"Abby, what is going on?" He asked after she hadn't answered his initial question. What was she supposed to say? Her ex-boyfriend was for some reason, in her brother's office building. Why was he here? Had he known she would be here? The only person besides Matt who knew she was coming here was Alice.
"Abby!" Matt raised his voice a little, he wasn't angry, he looked more concerned than anything else.
"It's Buck." She hissed, not wanting to be overheard.
"Who?" Matt's brow wrinkled in confusion.
"Buck, Matt! My ex-boyfriend – from LA!" Abby was still whispering.
"The fireman? What is he doing here?" Matt looked confused.
"I don't know, but he's sat in your reception and I can't go out there." Abby's voice strained in panic. How was she supposed to get out of this situation?
"Why? I don't understand. Abby what is going on?" Matt was completely bewildered.
"I think he's here to talk to me, but I don't know how he found out I was here." Abby whined.
"And why is here to talk to you?" Matt asked.
"Because…because…well you know when Sam and I…when I left Sam? When I came here?" Abby knew she would have to tell him now, there was no way it wasn't going to come out.
"Yeah?" Matt still looked like he had no idea where she was going with this.
"Well I checked into a hotel, and I went for a drink in the bar, and he was there and we started talking and…you know I was angry because of Sam…and you and I had argued and just went to the bar to unwind…" Abby was stalling as she tried to find the words.
"Abby, why is your ex here?" Matt asked her, he seemed to know what the answer was going to be.
"I slept with him, and now he wants to talk." Abby looked down, she didn't want to look at Matt. She was worried he would be disappointed in her somehow.
"Right, so why don't you just talk to him?" Matt asked, not the response she had expected.
"Because he's engaged. I didn't know, but then he told me in the morning. I just felt so stupid and used. So, I asked him to leave, and that was kind of it, but then on Sunday he called me to talk, I hung up on him." Abby explained, she was beginning to get a little tearful.
"So, you're upset because…why? You thought maybe he would want to start things up again?" Matt hadn't reacted at all how Abby expected. Rather than the scolding she had expected for bad life choices, he seemed more interested in why she had walked back into his office in a bid to literally shut Buck out.
"No, not really, I don't know…I just didn't think that…I don't know what I thought." Abby could feel a couple of stray tears begin to escape from her eyes.
"Look Abby, you need to calm down, and you need to face him. I don't know why he chose here of all places, but I don't think he's going to give up, if he came all the way from LA. Come on, it probably won't be as bad as you think." Matt did his best to sooth his younger sister, he reached his arm over her shoulders and stooped a little to make eye contact as Abby looked down, weighing up her options. Although who was she kidding? She had no options, she couldn't stay in Matt's office, and Buck probably wasn't going to just leave, at least not before speaking to her.
She sniffed a little, Matt turned grabbing a tissue from the box on his desk and handed it to her to dry her eyes.
"Thanks." She sniffed again and began to dab underneath her eyes, praying her mascara hadn't run too badly. The last thing she needed was Buck thinking she had just been a crying mess ever since they last saw each other.
Buck
Buck and Chase sat staring at the silhouettes inside the room that Abby had just disappeared back into.
"So, what's her brother like? D'you reckon he's gonna come out and kick your ass for nailing his sister?" Chase was enjoying this far too much.
"Shut up. It wasn't like that and you know it." Buck snapped. The truth was he had no idea how Matt would react when he realised why Buck was really here. But he knew if some guy had upset Maddie the way he seemed to have upset Abby, he'd have a hard time remaining impartial, not that he ever had to worry, Chimney worshipped the ground Maddie walked on, and Ava had him wrapped around her finger.
He could no longer work out what Matt and Abby were saying. He could hear Abby's tone of voice, she sounded strained and upset. Matt seemed to be standing close to her and his tone seemed relatively calm.
"Do you think he even knows? Perhaps she hasn't told him." Chase speculated happily about how much Matt might know as Buck became more and more uncomfortable.
After a couple of minutes the door to Matt's office opened again. This time Matt had opened the door and he seemed to be gently pushing Abby out into the reception. She stood just outside the door, looking very uncomfortable and like she would rather be anywhere else. Matt stood awkwardly behind her. Buck got up from his chair, but didn't move. For a minute, no one said anything. Chase thankfully seemed able to read at least this situation and remained silent.
Matt spoke first, just to break the silence, more than anything.
"Sounds like you two need to talk." He said to Buck.
"Yeah." Buck answered, unsure what to do now. He did not want to have this conversation in front of Matt and he definitely wasn't having it anywhere near Chase.
Matt scanned the reception area and then looked at Chase.
"Are you Chase Langdon?" Matt asked.
"I am indeed." He beamed and stood up. Buck pushed Chase back down by the shoulder.
"He is, but he's with me. I booked an appointment with you because I…I was trying to find out how I could get hold of Abby…sorry." He mumbled the last part.
"Right, so I guess I don't have a one thirty meeting then." Matt said.
Buck then focused his attention on Abby who was yet to speak.
"Um so can we go somewhere, and talk?" He asked taking a small step towards her. She looked up at him, her eyes were shiny and she still looked a little tearful.
"Okay." She nodded.
"Um, look why don't you use one of the meeting rooms. There's one just down that corridor on the left, it's got a coffee machine." Matt motioned towards a corridor through a door on the other side of the reception desk.
"Thanks Matt." Abby said quietly. Chase stood up now. Buck looked at him sternly.
"You're not coming with me." He said.
"Fine." He sighed dramatically before leaning in closer.
"Try not to sleep with her this time." He mumbled, not nearly quietly enough.
Abby looked mortified, and Matt looked at him like he was an idiot. Buck just glared at him and followed Abby through the door.
"Look Abby, I'm really sorry about Chase, he's an idiot, but he's the only one who knows the whole situation." Buck began as he closed the meeting room door.
"It's fine." She said miserably as she bypassed the oval shaped table and went and sat on the small sofa in the corner of the room.
"Look Abby, I meant what I said. I really want to talk to you." Buck moved to sit next to her, but left a comfortable amount of space between them.
"Buck, I don't understand. You said you were engaged." She didn't really see what more there was to talk about, he'd said his piece when he called her, more or less.
"I was, I mean I am. But since Vegas I feel like…things have changed." Buck looked at her, silently hoping she would look up and meet his eyes.
"Buck, don't do this. You're getting married in a few days. What could possibly be so important that it can't wait?" She turned her head to look at him. He almost wished she hadn't. There was so much pain and confusion in her eyes, making her look tired and resigned.
Abby
"This can't wait, Abby. This whole situation has been confusing and complicated, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, about you." He seemed to be almost pleading.
"It's just nerves. You'll get to the wedding and forget this ever happened, you'll see." She tried to brush it off, but there was no conviction in her voice. In all honesty, she didn't believe herself. She remembered when she married Sam. She had been happy and she had felt it was the right thing, but she couldn't forget Buck. Even on her wedding day, she found herself thinking about him at least once. She had even wondered shortly after the train crash, if she and Buck would've been engaged if she had come back.
"Did you? When you married your husband? Did you forget?" Buck asked her. He realised that he still didn't know what had happened with her husband.
"Sam isn't my husband anymore, or he won't be, I filed for divorce just after Vegas." She told him flatly, she continued,
"But this isn't about Sam and me. I'm sure once you're married, you'll forget that this, that we, ever happened." She hadn't forgotten about Buck when she married Sam at all. She thought about him often, but convinced herself that Sam was what she needed.
"I'm not going to forget us, I will never forget you Abby. I have never forgotten you. You should know that. I spent two years waiting for you! Do you really think I would just forget you after that?" He seemed annoyed now, angry almost.
"I KNOW! I told you I was afraid. I didn't know who I was anymore. But Buck, you broke up with me! You wrote that letter and I had to sit in my hotel room alone, reading that you had stopped waiting. I am not saying that I don't understand why. But Buck, you stopped waiting for me after a few months, months that I told you I needed, so don't tell me you waited for two years. I needed time and you decided you didn't have it." Fresh tears seemed well in her eyes. Hot, angry tears. Abby knew she had hurt him, knew she should have spoken to him sooner, but she really had been struggling with herself and how she felt about everything and everyone in her life.
"Abby, I was in love with you and I didn't hear from you at all, for months. What was I supposed to do? What did you expect me to think?" He was still angry.
"I don't know, but this is why there is no point in us talking. You can't forgive me for Europe, so what makes you think us having a conversation makes any difference?" Abby asked. She really hadn't wanted to argue with him about Europe.
"Because this isn't about Europe anymore. We had something, that night in the hotel, Abby - and we have to talk about it." He wasn't completely wrong. She had felt happy in the morning when she had woken up. She'd been hungover and her head hurt, but she had been pleased he was there.
"Buck, that night wasn't real, I didn't know you were engaged. If I had known, it wouldn't have happened. You're basing this off something that happened because you didn't tell the truth." Abby's voice had evened out somewhat and she spoke very slowly.
"It was real. I know I lied, and I know that I should've said something, but seeing you brought everything back. The way things were before Emma, before the crash, before Europe. It was like no time had passed. It felt like we were us again." Buck's eyes seemed to hold such desperation and such hope at the same time. Abby considered it for a moment. It had felt like before she supposed. But what he was getting at, she didn't know.
"Buck, I will admit it felt…right, but that doesn't change the fact that you lied to me and to your fiancée. I know that she forgave you Buck, so if you're marrying her in less than a week, I don't see what difference this makes now." Abby chose her words carefully. She couldn't get away from the fact that being with Buck had felt like it was right or meant to happen – she didn't believe in fate, but something about it just seemed to fit. But at the same time, he had still cheated on his fiancée. No matter how he might dress it up, it was wrong.
"Okay, just forget the wedding for a second. What if I wasn't getting married?" Buck asked her.
"Buck, Carla told me, your wedding is this weekend!" Abby felt exasperated. There was no reason for what ifs at this point, it was too late.
"What if I wasn't getting married?" Buck asked again.
"I don't know what you're asking me, what if you weren't getting married what?" Abby knew what he wanted to know, would she be looking at this differently if he wasn't in a relationship with someone else?
"I don't think I can get married." Buck said flatly. This did not make Abby feel any better. She was damned if he was going to make her a home wrecker.
"What? Your wedding is this weekend, I think it's a little late for you to back out now." She didn't know why she was working so hard to convince Buck to marry a girl she'd never met. Especially given she'd done everything she could over the past few weeks to try not to think about Buck being married to someone else.
"I can't marry Emma. I want to want to, but I don't. I'm not over you Abby." As Buck confessed this, she felt a mixture of joy, frustration and confusion.
"What do you mean? Things ended when you wrote that letter, you chose to move on, nearly three years ago." Abby looked up at him now, her eyes fixed on his, as if she was trying to figure him out.
"I know, but I just, I can't help thinking that I made a mistake, writing that letter, that we both made a mistake, going our separate ways. I can't stop thinking about you Abby. I want you back."
Abby felt surprised - with herself more than anything else, that she didn't actually seem to know what to do. The idea that there was a chance for her and Buck to possibly start over was something she was interested in. However, if that was the case, it was definitely going to be messy, with break ups and explanations to navigate. These weren't the only problems though. There was one other consideration Abby couldn't shake.
"What if it didn't change things? If I went to back to Phoenix and you went back to LA. Would you get married then?" She asked him, dreading his answer.
"No, I don't love Emma. I don't feel the way with Emma that I felt with you. Emma is a good person, she deserves someone who loves her, and I thought I did, but I was wrong. Besides, I can't see myself with anyone other than you. I'm not trying to force you or anything, if you don't want to be with me, then I'll leave and I will try and get over you, but I needed to talk to you." Buck finished. Abby's head was spinning. To her, the decision seemed to have come around too quickly, but she was unsure how long Buck had been thinking about this.
"This is really sudden. Have you thought this through?" She asked tentatively.
"No, I don't need to think it through. This isn't about logic or making smart decisions. I want to be with you, like we said we would be." He looked at her, and at least now, she knew he was telling the truth.
"Buck, I don't know if I can give you an answer right now. You're still engaged, and I'm going through a divorce, and I technically still live in Phoenix. I need some time to think about this. I'm not saying no, but I'm not saying yes either." Abby realised this was not a very helpful answer, but she really wasn't sure what to do. She liked the idea of being with Buck, but she couldn't just suddenly leave her entire life behind now. Her divorce lawyer was in Phoenix, she had committed to run the summer swim school, she didn't know if she really wanted to leave Phoenix.
"I understand." Buck said, but his head dropped.
"I'm really not saying no. Look I know you waited the first time, but I need you to wait again. Give me a week and I promise, I will let you know one way or another."