As Maho looked at the sight before her, she pulled her jacket tightly around her to shield her from the cold wind. A black stone monument, finely polished to the point that she could see herself in its surface, standing underneath a magnificent wisteria tree in full bloom. Atop the monument, a winged knight stood guard, carved from the whitest marble Maho had ever seen. Across the face of the monument was gold lettering denoting its purpose; The Nishizumi family grave.
"I miss you. I miss you so, so much. And I'm sorry. You know I am." She felt tears well in her eyes as she spoke. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry you had to face it alone. I'm sorry I couldn't do more. And I'm sorry for what I'm about to do." She knelt down and put the small bouquet of flowers she had brought to rest against the base of the monument.
It was a simple bouquet, but it suited her somewhat destitute circumstances. A pink carnation, a few anemone surrounding a dark crimson rose, a pair of hydrangea in the middle, and a single blue salvia at the back end. She looked at the flowers for a second before standing back up and taking a step back. "I know I swore to never climb back in a tank, and I know I swore never to take up Sensha-Do again. But these people need my help. They need me. Like you did. You needed me, and I wasn't there. How can I even keep going if I don't even try to help them? What kind of failure would that make me?"
"The dead seldom give answers. And when they do, it's not ones we enjoy," a voice said behind her.
"Did you follow me here?" Maho asked without turning around, hastily wiping her eyes dry with a sleeve. She knew who the voice belonged to.
"I did not. I merely came here to pay my respects, just like you. But I am pleased to see you are well, Miss Nishizumi," Kikuyo answered, probably with her usual gentle smile. Maho didn't bother to turn and look.
"Is that how it appears? That I am well? After last year, I swore I would never as much as touch a tank again, and here I stand. Less than a year later, haunted by my mistakes and my past, and about to repeat them all over again."
"Perhaps. But perhaps this is an opportunity for you to rectify those mistakes, and to grow beyond them? I certainly hope it is, for your sake Miss Nishizumi."
"Maybe it is… Maybe…" Maho didn't dare to hope.
"I'm certain of it. You were always strong. You still are, even if you can't see it yourself," Kikuyo continued behind her. "Like the moon pulling and pushing the tides from so far away, you too change things you aren't even aware of. And like the moon, perhaps you must go through a period of emptiness to become whole again?"
"Will you be reporting this to my mother?" Maho asked as she turned to face Kikuyo, changing the subject entirely.
"I serve the Nishizumi household, and at the pleasure of Lady Nishizumi. If my Lady asks me if I have seen you, I will be obliged to answer." Maho began to walk away, but Kikuyo continued. "But she seldom asks me that." Maho stopped, and felt a smile start to take form.
"Thank you Kikuyo. I can never thank you enough for what you have done for me."
"You growing beyond what haunts you. That will be thanks enough, Miss Nishizumi. I pray for your success and health." There was a sadness to Kikuyo's voice that she had never displayed before, but Maho was on a tight schedule and didn't want any more familiar faces to show up. So instead of asking questions, she left the silent graveyard behind, and let Kikuyo pay her respects in peace.
She made her way back to the station as quickly as she could. She had known that returning to Kumamoto was a risk, but it was one she needed to take. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she returned to Sensha-Do without explaining why.
Thankfully she didn't see any associates of her family, or anyone else who might recognize her and report her presence to her mother. She had made sure the Graf Zeppelin wasn't in port this weekend, so the possibility of running into anyone from Kuromorimine was thankfully not an issue. She boarded the Shinkansen, always keeping a watchful eye out for any unwanted faces, and took her seat. She didn't see anyone, but that was no guarantee that she was safe. The bullet train began to make its way north, but she didn't drop her guard. She was on edge long after she left the city behind and made her escape.
As she flew across the countryside, villages and mountains flashing by, She only stared out the window. She stared out the window, and tried not to think about how incredibly stupid what she was doing was. She had returned to Kumamoto and risked being recognized. She was going to jump back down into the hull of a tank. She was letting other people get close to her. She started to care for others again. It was all moronic, and she knew it. The taller she built her tower of friendship and happiness, the more it would hurt when it inevitably collapsed upon her.
Soon it was as if the weather itself wanted to chime in, and rain began to fall. She shuddered, and leaned her head against the wall as she kept staring out across the dreary landscape.
The halls of Kuromorimine were made of grey stone with vaulted ceilings, and the floors were polished marble. She knew them well, but she didn't remember the ceiling to be so far up, or the corridors to be so twisted. All around her, filling the halls, were faceless students in the school's grey and black uniform. They parted before her, like the sea before Moses, all of them bowing low to her as she passed.
As Maho, dressed in her old tank jacket and burgundy skirt, took step after step through the crowded halls, she felt incredible pain. Her feet and soles were consumed by pain, as if she was walking on shattered glass or burning coals, despite her wearing the heavy combat boots of the school's tankery uniform. Every step was torture, but still she kept walking, slowly making her way down the corridor which seemed to twist and turn before her eyes, never taking a solid shape.
"What's wrong, Commander?" A student with light blonde, almost snow white hair asked her. "Is something the matter?"
"It's nothing," Maho said shortly, before doubting herself. There was something familiar about the girl. "It's just… there's something strange going on with the floor. Every step I take is agony."
"Oh! Don't worry Commander!" The girl threw herself on the floor before Maho, and soon more of the faceless students joined her, creating a pathway of human bodies down the length of the corridor. "Let us handle the pain!" the white-haired girl said cheerfully. "This will be much more comfortable for you!"
"But, won't it hurt you?" she asked timidly, her head filling with worries for her schoolmates.
"It's fine! We'll do anything for our Commander!" The pain in her feet only increased as she stood there, and similar cheers could be heard from the other members of the human carpet. Carefully and as gently as possible, Maho took a step forward onto the blonde girl's back.
The feeling of comfort was indescribable. It was like walking through a field of flowers on a just warm enough summer's day, or on pillows stuffed with rose petals. All Maho knew was that it felt incredible, and she soon forgot her every worry and objection. The carpet was just so comfortable, it almost sent shivers up her spine as she walked.
She continued down the halls for what felt like eternity, every turn always opening up to another corridor, with more faceless students throwing themselves before her. No matter the corridor, there were no doors or exits anywhere in sight. The comfort didn't decrease as she walked, but she did start to feel a bit tired. She must have been walking for hours, but then, as she turned the corner, she was met by a large oak door. She pushed it open as if it was nothing, and walked into the shining fog beyond.
The halls of Kuromorimine were gone. Maho found herself in a wasteland, with nothing but cracked and drý earth as far as the eye could see. The sun was nowhere to be seen, and the sky was covered in grey clouds promising rain that never came. The air was heavy, and all sound was muffled, like if she was underwater. But she just continued walking. Walking further and further, missing the comfort of the carpeted floor, until finally, she collapsed.
She didn't know how long she was lying there on the cracked dirt, collapsed and lacking the strength to continue. But after some time, she heard footsteps. She could barely open her eyes, and all she could see was a blurred mess of black and white. The footsteps stopped before her, and she could hear a low rumble, almost a purring, before something warm, rugged, and moist rubbed across her face. Gathering all her strength, she opened her eyes, and saw a black and white tiger lying beside her, licking her face. Somehow it slowly reinvigorated her, even if it tickled, and so she reached out a hand towards the beast. She stroked it's fur a few times, before starting to scratch at the base of its neck.
"You're all alone as well… Aren't you?" she asked the tiger, knowing it wouldn't respond. "I know how you feel… All alone and abandoned, not knowing what to do or where to go…" The tiger stopped licking her in the face, and put its head down on the ground, looking her in the eye as it purred. The low rumble calmed Maho to her core, and it was almost as if she could lose herself in it. The sound felt like it pierced her body, and the rumble massaged her very core.
"You know…" she said lowly. "Maybe being alone isn't so bad. If I wasn't alone, I wouldn't have met you." She stopped scratching the tiger's neck, and stroked it's back a few more times. "Maybe you and I should go on, together. If I'm with you, I don't think I'd be as alone anymore." The tiger continued to purr, and Maho closed her eyes, leaning in to nuzzle the big cat and enjoying the soothing sound.
When next she opened her eyes, the tiger was gone, but the low rumble was not. She was sitting alone in the commander's seat of a Tiger I, it's engines humming peacefully behind her, and the smell of the exhausts filled her nose. It was almost intoxicating. The smell of the exhausts, the rumble of the engine. The excitement of it all caused her breathing to become heavy and her body to become warm to the touch. All of it gave her new strength and energy. Her revival was interrupted however, as she could hear the low sound of an explosion, and a sudden bang on the side of the tank, causing it to rattle. Maho reached up to open the hatch, which somehow opened on its own. She looked up and out from the turret, and in the distance she could see a T-34, slowly rumbling towards her. She looked back down into the tank, and noted that it was indeed completely empty. There was no one but herself. If only she had a driver, she could turn this tank around and escape.
As if somehow hearing her wish, the tank began to turn on it's own, and slowly began to roll away in the opposite direction from the T-34. Maho blinked a few times, making sure she wasn't seeing things, before preparing to order the tank to halt. It did so before she even had time to utter the word. She looked down at her hands, and smiled. She and the tank seemed linked somehow. Whatever she could think of, the tank did without delay. Not even the most well-drilled crew could act this quickly. She stood up in her seat, her torso peeking boldly out of the hatch of the turret. She saw the T-34 roll into range, and as she lifted her arm before her, looking towards her target, the Tiger's turret took aim. She took a deep breath, steadied herself, and pointed her arm towards the T-34, commanding the tank to fire.
In the blink of an eye, the round made its way to the Russian tank, which burst into flames on impact, a perfect hole in its front armor plate. Maho would have looked at the carnage in awe, but she was too overcome by the sound and blast from her own tank's cannon. It filled her with nothing but pure bliss. She almost fell back into her seat as her legs nearly gave out from the feeling of pleasure. The Tiger continued to rumble along the arid wasteland, making its way towards the destroyed T-34 when Maho heard more rumbling and more explosions. Looking around her, she could see dozens of tanks.
Shermans, Panzers, T-34s, Churchills and more, the armada of tanks slowly moved towards her from every direction, all of them firing on her position. But they were not only slow, but inaccurate. Almost every single shell missed her Tiger, and the few that hit only bounced off. She laughed at their puny attempts to destroy her, and the Tiger accelerated to full speed. She made her way through the armada like a warm knife through butter, firing on her foes with impunity, and taking them all out one after the other. Each downed tank burst into flames, or downright exploded when her shots were particularly accurate. Shot after shot fired at her from the tanks that remained, and shot after shot missed or bounced. She was not only unstoppable, she was truly invincible.
After a few minutes, the guns had fallen silent, and Maho's Tiger came to a stop. She looked around her at the carnage, still high on both exhausts and cannonfire, laughing like a maniac to herself. She had never experienced anything like this before. Never before had she experienced such power, such enjoyment and bliss, such pleasure. What the Tiger gave her was true, unlimited power. The power to destroy anyone who would ever come for her.
Over the rumble of her Tiger's engines, and the still crackling flames of some of the destroyed tanks, Maho heard one more engine. It came to a halt behind her, and in an instant, her turret had turned to face her new opponent. She closed her eyes and drew a few deep breaths, savoring the smell of exhaust fumes, gunpowder and carnage, before looking at the newcomer. She almost began to laugh anew. Before her was a blueish grey Panzer IV, with a faded symbol of blue and dark blue ribbons on the side. Poking up and out of the turret, was a girl not much younger than herself. A faceless girl, with long ginger hair. The girl was clearly panicking, but Maho calmly got her Tiger's turret aimed at a suitable weak point. The turret ring. A hit there would utterly destroy the tank and anyone inside it. A subtle smile appeared on her lips, and she fired.
"Next stop, Tokyo. Tokyo, next stop. Tokyo will be the end of our line, and we wish to thank all who traveled with us…"
The announcement and accompanying chime woke Maho from her nap, as Tokyo slowly rolled into view on the other side of the window. Memories of the dream quickly vanished from her mind as she collected her things and prepared to leave. Her stomach rumbled as she climbed off the train, and she got herself a bento to eat before boarding the train back to Ooarai.
"Maho!"
"Huh?"
"Are you sure you're ok?" Saori asked her, shouting down from the commander's seat in the Panzer IV's turret. "You've been kinda unresponsive…"
"I'm fine," she replied over the internal radio. "Just… repeat whatever you said."
"Ok! We've spotted the enemy's main tank! It's an… uh… Yukari?"
"It's a Churchill mk. VII, Commander."
"Right! One of those! Maho, tell the rest of the team to advance. We're taking out their main piece right at the start! That'll show them."
"Copy that Commander," Maho replied, and switched the frequency over to connect to the rest of Ooarai's tanks. "All tanks, this is Team A. Enemy tank spotted, Churchill mk. VII. All tanks are to join up, and advance in line-formation. Accelerate to match our speed. Over."
"Team B here, full of determination!"
"Team C, ready to battle! Just like the battle of Kursk!"
"Th-this is Utsugi. The-the Lee is following your lead Ankou."
"38 (t) joining in. I can already taste those dried sweet potatoes."
"Copy. Team A, out." Maho switched the frequency back to the internal radio, and called back up to Saori. "All teams are joining up on our position, and advancing at our speed, Commander."
"Great! Mako, full speed ahead!"
The tank accelerated and she leaned up and out of the radio operator's hatch, feeling the rush of wind in her face, Maho could see the Churchill slowly trumble towards them over the barren field. Looking to their left and right, she could see the rest of Ooarai's tanks keeping good pace with them, even if they didn't quite keep in formation.
"Maho! Get back in the tank!" Saori yelled at her from the commander's hatch, just peeking out while keeping herself firmly inside the turret. "What if you get hurt?"
"It's fine," Maho responded as she turned to Saori. "I've done this since I was a kid you know? Besides, no one's even firing ye..." Maho stopped herself, and looked back at the Churchill. Something wasn't right. Why was it advancing towards them? They were in a valley with hills on both sides, so there was no way for the British tank to easily escape, except for retreating the other way down the valley. And even if it advanced towards them to attack, it was easily in range, so why weren't they firing? Then it hit her.
"SAORI!" she yelled as she turned back. "We need to turn around! NOW! It's a tra…" Her warning was cut short by the formation being pounded from both sides with shells. A group of Crusaders had snuck up on them, just cresting the low hills on both sides to fire. The first volley had already taken out the StuG III and Type 89, their hulls now sporting white flags, while the 38 (t) and M3 Lee were breaking formation in a panic.
"Saori!" she yelled anew, this time into the radio. "What are your orders?" She ducked back into the tank, glancing up at the turret where the ginger girl was panicking.
"I, uh… uhm… We… uh… F-fire! Fire back on them!"
Maho sighed at the not very helpful orders, but relayed them over the radio nonetheless. She wasn't in command. Saori was.
"All tanks, this is team A. Stay in formation and fire at will. Over."
There was no response from the other tanks, and soon the second volley came. The Panzer IV rattled back and forth as it was hit by two shells. Once the tank had steadied itself, Maho looked out from her hatch again and saw the 38(t) and M3 Lee tumbled over on their sides with white flags blowing in the wind, but there was also the Churchill. Having used the confusion and chaos to creep unreasonably close to the Panzer IV, it's 75mm cannon was now pointed right at their hull.
The Churchill fired, and the Panzer IV was thrown across the battlefield, rolling on its axis a few times before coming to a halt.
"Is… is… is everyone ok?" Maho asked timidly, her ears ringing, with no reply. She fumbled around to get upright, the ringing not subsiding, and asked again. "Saori? Hana? Yukari? Mako? Anyone?"
The ringing soon overtook any ability she had to think. Opening her eyes, she realized she was in her bed in Ooarai, and groggily reached over to turn off the alarm clock. That was what had been the source of the ringing. Looking at the time, it was almost five in the morning, Sunday. The team was to gather for the match in an hour or so.
She sighed, and got up from the bed. She shook her head a few times to try and get the dream out of her head, but to little effect. She showered, ate breakfast, and got into her uniform. The team still hadn't gotten a hold of any proper tank jackets, instead training and fighting in their regular school uniforms. Knowing the absolute hell that being in a tank could bring, Maho threw her leather jacket over her uniform, at least it would give some protection. She then opened the drawer of her bedside table, and rummaged around a bit. Soon she found what she was looking for. A small key. She had debated throwing it away entirely, but keeping it had turned out to be the correct choice after all. She reached in underneath her bed, and pulled out a small box with a padlock keeping it closed.
"And here I thought I was done with you…" she mumbled to herself.
She took a few deep breaths, looking back and forth between the key and the box, contemplating her decision, before finally opening it. Within the box were two small white bottles, covered in labels. She opened them each in turn, grabbing a small pill from each, before closing the containers, returning them to the box and locking it, and shoving it back underneath her bed.
She kept the two pills in her hand as she walked over to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water, downing it and the pills in one fell swoop. She didn't like it, but at least she was ready. She sighed, and walked out the door, towards the team's garage.
"Okay, Mako, wake up and get the tank rolling." Saori said as she clambered up onto the Panzer IV when her and Yukari returned from their reconnaissance. "Maho, tell the rest of the team to move out as well."
"Copy that Commander," Maho answered over the internal radio, before switching frequencies. "All tanks, this is Team A. Enemy spotted, 5 tanks in total. Move out towards position C-7 as planned, and set up the ambush. Team A out." Looking out from her hatch, Maho could see the rest of the team passing them by on their way to the ambush point. In her absence, the team had seemingly decided that the key to a successful Sensha-Do team was paintjobs, and Maho hated every single one.
The M3 Lee was now entirely pink with a cartoon rabbit emblazoned on the side. The StuG III was a ghastly combination of blues and reds with three meter tall flags attached to the hull. The Type 89 was relatively modest with its many kanji written across the green hull. But, then there was the 38 (t). The Student Council had, in all their infinite wisdom, decided to paint their tank entirely in gold, letting the sun reflect off it and point out exactly where it was for anyone who was even remotely looking for it. They were all, with the possible exception of the Type 89, impossible to miss, both literally and figuratively
The rumble of the tanks' engines echoed off the walls of the canyon as they moved, and the Panzer IV, which had thankfully been left untouched bar a few interior modifications which Maho found unnecessary, but wasn't going to complain too much over, soon turned away from the rest of the team. They began rolling down a separate path to a better vantage point while the rest rolled on to set up their trap.
It was a simple plan, which was good. Simple plans were hard to mess up. Especially when the team was full of beginners. Unfortunately for the team, this particular plan was a bit too simple. The Panzer IV was going to act as bait to get the enemies attention, and then lead them into the ambush the rest of the team had set up in advance. Maho was certain it wasn't going to be enough. Especially when facing a team like St. Gloriana.
As the Panzer IV rolled down to its vantage point where they were to fire on the enemy formation, Maho looked out from her hatch, and saw the enemy. A Churchill mk VII, flanked by four Matilda IIs, two on either side. The chevron of tanks had already turned to face them, and a volley of shots pounded the cliff wall behind them.
"Uwah, how did they know we were here?!" Saori yelled, clearly not enjoying the experience
It's because you ran the engine on full effect. The sound echoing off the cliffs made it hard not to know where we were… Maho thought, but kept her mouth shut.
"Well, at least we've got their attention," Yukari piped in, excitement clear in her voice.
"Well, for all I care, they could have kept it. Hana, take a shot, then Mako, get us out of here!"
The cannon sounded, with the shell bouncing cleanly off the turret of the Churchill, and the Panzer turned to retreat. The plan seemed at least in theory to be working, but Maho was still feeling uneasy. Either they were themselves being led into a trap, or Earl Grey had picked the wrong successor. Someone who clearly didn't know what they were doing.
The Panzer IV made its way back up the cliff, the British tanks hot on their heels, and down the canyon towards the ambush. "Maho," Saori called out over the radio. "Tell Momo we're coming, and that the enemy is right on our butts."
"Yes, Commander," she replied. "All tanks, this is Team A. The enemy formation is following us according to plan, and we're nearing the ambush. There is some distance between us and the enemy tanks, so hold your fire until we're through the chokepoint. Team A, out."
The tank rattled and rumbled, both from the uneven terrain, but also from the enemy shells bouncing off their armor or hitting just beside them as they neared the trap. For a single moment, Maho thought that it might actually work. Perhaps St. Gloriana hadn't actually seen fit to put someone competent in command, and the trap would work?
These thoughts were quickly dashed as they passed through the chokepoint of the canyon into the open area where the rest of Ooarai's tanks had taken position. Maho heard the idiot cyclops yelling over the radio "THERE THEY ARE! FIRE, FIRE, FIRE!" and all four tanks fired on the Panzer IV. They all thankfully missed, but the cyclops' itchy trigger finger meant that the entirety of St. Gloriana's advance force was allowed to pass through the ambush without so much as a shot firing at them.
"You idiots! That's us you're firing at!" Maho said and swore, tastefully choosing to keep the radio turned off as she spoke. After a few seconds too many, the team had reloaded, and tried to re-aim their turrets. In the time it took them to do that however, St. Gloriana's Matilda's had already had time to fire off their first salvo, make their way partially up to the plateau Ooarai was firing from, and were ready to fire again.
The Panzer IV arrived at the top of the plateau in the midst of this chaos. Ooarai's tanks were trying to turn and aim in sheer panic, and St. Gloriana slowly trundled up the slopes towards them, firing shot after shot in rapid succession. Then, the Churchill came through the chokepoint, it's 75mm firing without delay towards the gathered Ooarai tanks. The shot hit right in the golden 38 (t)'s left tread, sending them reeling backwards into a ditch completely stuck, with their tread rolling right off the drive wheel. Saori did her best to direct the Panzer IV's crew, but had seemingly forgotten to give Maho anything to relay to the other crews.
This left Maho with nothing to do but sit there and watch. Sit there and do nothing as St. Gloriana pounded their positions, shells flying high and low, the tanks rattling from bouncing shots. Sit there and do nothing as the first years broke and left their tank in the middle of the battle, fleeing into a nearby patch of trees.
"This is pathetic," her mother's voice whispered in her ear. "But I suppose it was predictable. They will be destroyed, as weaklings should."
"No…" Maho whispered. "No, you're wrong…" But despite her attempts and wishes, she could feel it. The darkness clawed and pulled at her, as seductive as ever.
"Am I? You have seen it too, haven't you? They will never amount to anything. That's why you didn't want to lead them, despite how you long to command and use your lessers. It's only natural"
"Shut up…" She clasped the sides of her head, covering her ears in a vain attempt to make the voice stop. "Shut up, Shut up, Shut up!"
"It's really quite sad, Maho," the voice teased. "You could probably save them if you wanted, but clearly you don't."
"Just shut up! You're not real!"
"Oh, but I am. You know that I am right. If you only let me take over, we could save this sorry excuse of a team. You know what power I can give you…"
At this point Maho was hyper-ventilating, rocking back and forth in her seat trying to make it all stop. The voice, the darkness, the shots bouncing off their armor, the sound of cannonfire. She wished it would all just stop.
"But I suppose you would rather see them end up like your old crewmates. Humiliated and destroyed, driven out of the sport by pure shame. Or like those two other girls. What were their names now again…"
That was it. Bringing her friends up was the straw that broke the camel's back, and something within Maho just snapped. Something very familiar. She was once again sinking, dark tendrils grabbing her and pulling her into the depths. Colour disappeared as her vision filled with greys and blacks, and sound became muffled. Her body became unresponsive, her limbs were being moved on their own as if they were on strings, and her mind was left vacant. She was once again at the bottom of the abyss, and a passenger in her own body...
Author's Notes:
Another week, another chapter. This chapter marks the first time I've ever actually written a battle or tank combat in any way, so if there are issues with it, that would be why. I hope to improve at it as the series progresses.
As for the chapter itself, I must say I'm very pleased. we have another pair of (at least to me) pretty excellent dream sequences, a nice scene at the Nishizumi tomb, and an at least functional start to the St. Gloriana-match. Things aren't looking too good for Maho though, are they?
Every week when I sit down to write another chapter, I tell myself that "this week will be when Maho finally gets her well-deserved hug!" but it never is. I swear it's gonna come, but it's gonna take a while longer.
I hope you all enjoyed The Ambush, and I'll see you back here next week!
As always, if you like what I write, leave a review or let me know in other ways.
Until next week!
/Rihno