Year 848
Instead of thinking about dark blue eyes Katrine forced herself to imagine every way she could die before finding her way beyond the Walls. Titans were the obvious hazard: smashed by a foot, pulverized in a fist, severed in half by teeth, or tossed into the sky by ODM wires. Of course, she could drown or fall off a cliff or be flattened by her horse. There were also the more mundane and embarrassing possibilities, like choking on an olive pit or an allergic reaction to a bee sting or a bad cough.
Katrine didn't want to die, not like Larissa and Charlotte, and wanted to crush the fluttery feeling at the pit of her stomach that appeared whenever the thought of his hand on the small of her back flickered into her mind. It was foreign and odd and made her smile, which felt like a betrayal of every girl who came before and after her at the Mitras Company.
She thought of Titans, and the grenade that killed at least twenty of them, and instead of letting herself remember what came afterwards she burst into Hange's study to find out why those grenades had been left abandoned.
"Hange! Question for you." Katrine stepped over a pile of gas canisters to find a spot on the floor that wasn't already occupied.
Hange looked up from a mess of papers at her desk illuminated by three nearly-dead candles. She brushed a strand of hair away from her face but it promptly fell back down. "Hmm?"
"Why did we stop using grenades to kill Titans? They seem so much more effective."
"They were! They'd blow a Titan's head clean off in one big ka-boom!" Hange mimicked an explosion and sliced her neck with her thumb. "And if that didn't kill them, the shrapnel would. But it's too risky. It's too easy to lose needed soldiers in the blast. Actually, the government used to sanction strapping grenades to prisoners to blow up Titans."
Katrine shuddered. "What would you have to do to deserve that?"
"Not much, apparently. But then they decided prisoners are better used as laborers." Hange leaned back in her chair. "Now we've got explosives no one knows what to do with. Though our casualty rates have really dropped since Commander Erwin decided we should avoid Titans rather than actively set out to destroy them."
Katrine hummed in agreement, but wondered if that made sense. If no one could prove that Titans could breed, then why not actively reduce their numbers? No one dealt with a rat infestation by tiptoeing around them and hoping they wouldn't bite. However, she did not relish flying around killing them with blades. Why had no one tried to poison them?
"You know, I have a few," Hange said and Katrine raised her eyebrows. "For a little bit I was trying to figure out how to make them more effective. But then I got distracted trying to make the ODM boosters lighter." She hopped up from her chair and dashed over to a chest barely visible behind stacks of books, shoving a box of contraptions off the top to open it.
"You just have some lying around? Isn't that dangerous?" Katrine followed and peered over her shoulder.
"Not unless it meets something explosive. And I like to have a little firepower around." Hange winked. "To be honest, I just forgot to put them back. Add that to the list…" She rushed back to her desk and scribbled a note on a stained sheet of paper. Katrine peeked into the chest and found a cache of small metal spheres, seemingly innocuous.
"Oh, one other thing," Katrine said as she watched Hange's back. "Do you know what attracts Titans to people? Can they smell us or something?" She spoke casually as she grabbed a grenade and slipped it in the inside pocket of her jacket.
"Nobody knows." But Hange suddenly turned, a toothy grin spreading across her face. "Though I have theories."
Katrine shielded her bulging pocket with her arms, steepling her fingers as if she were thinking. "Theories?"
"How can Titans tell living humans from dead ones? They know somehow! At first I thought it was the scent of blood or body heat, but that doesn't explain why they don't go after animals. Then I considered if it's a particular way we move, but why don't they mistakenly attack trees or animals? It made no sense. But then I realized!" She slammed a hand on the desk and Katrine jumped. "Sweat! It's obvious! Animals don't sweat. Dead people don't sweat. And Titans are more common in the southern areas where it's hotter which makes people sweat!"
Katrine wanted to giggle, but it sounded plausible. "So if we all calmed down and didn't break out in nervous sweats, Titans wouldn't attack us?"
"It's a thought. You know why I think a Titan's never come close to eating Erwin? Because he never sweats!"
"I, uh, hadn't noticed."
"I'll have to bug him again about letting me capture Titan test subjects." Hange groaned. "I've been trying to figure out how to measure it. But no good ideas yet. Moblit's always sweaty but he refuses to help me." Katrine pictured the man, permanently red-faced and darting around with papers spilling out of his hands. Hange wiped her brow with the back of her hand and inspected it as if the answer was right in front of her. "Maybe if Levi didn't go running straight towards Titans, I could figure out how much he sweats."
Katrine certainly did not want to think about that. "Thanks!" she said much too loudly, picking her way over boxes and a stray boot on her way to the door.
"Wait! How much do you sweat?"
"I'm not answering that!"
"Not answering what?"
Katrine froze. Her heart threw itself against her ribs with such force she was certain everyone in the castle could hear it, and she was suddenly grateful for putting the grenade in her pocket because she surely would have dropped it. She wasn't ready! How was he so damn quiet?
Levi stopped beside her, eyeing the mess as if he expected it to rear up and swallow him.
"Oh, hi, Levi! Katrine had a much better reaction than you did about my sweat theory." Hange continued to putter around her desk as if time hadn't just crashed to a screeching halt.
"Not you, too," he said. She only shrugged and placed an arm slowly over her jacket to hide her pocket. But his gaze followed the movement and she bit down on her tongue.
"Ah! Did you talk to Erwin about the Titan test subjects I was telling you about?"
"No. That's your hill to die on."
"What? You promised!"
He pushed aside a stack of boxes with one foot and stepped inside. "No, I didn't. I said I'd consider it. And I did, for a minute, but that's all you get."
Hange groaned so loudly Levi tilted his head back. "Please! You're going to make me cry." She rubbed at her eyes and made a few convincing hiccups.
"No time for that. We need to talk about next week." He ventured deeper into Hange's office, pushing aside more detritus.
Quietly, Katrine sidestepped out the door and sprinted down the hallway, looking back frantically to make sure no one saw. She felt like a criminal, sneaking away in the shadows, but he'd seen! Would he say anything, or ask Hange? She tugged at her hair. Eavesdropping behind the door seemed like a bad idea, though. And the grenade was supposed to make her feel safe!
She touched it inside her pocket. It was cold, solid, reassuring. Having it made the unknown less scary. Her breathing calmed. She'd figure something out. And she was a good liar.
"Well, this is a nightmare," Silas grumbled. He took a long drag of his cigarette and sighed, long and loud and full of smoke.
Beside him, Katrine peered over the edge of the ravine and surveyed the landslide. Compared what she remembered from the map, an estimated few meters' worth of land had plummeted to the river below, now choked with rocks and branches. It was already swollen by the rain that had poured relentlessly for two weeks and only stopped the day before. The jagged remnants of trunks burst out of the side of the slope like fractured bones. It was as if the earth had grown tired of holding so many trees and simply given up.
"Now where am I going to put the new bridge?" Silas tugged at his thinning hair so hard Katrine wondered if he was trying to rip it out. "What's next, Mitras gets swallowed in a sinkhole?"
That would be lovely, Katrine thought, but didn't respond. Silas did not like his rhetorical questions answered. Instead she looked up at the cliffs that loomed above and the heavy gray clouds, hoping the inevitable rain could wait until she was back indoors.
"Wonder if any Titans were caught in the landslide," Henry said from behind her.
"Not with my luck!" Silas tossed a measuring chain to Henry. "You and Sara, lay this until you hit the broken bridge." Henry grabbed the chain and tossed it near the ravine's edge, laying the chain on the ground as he galloped away. Sara followed, eyes not on the chain but on Henry's broad shoulders. She'd been staring at him with a moonstruck expression all day, though Henry appeared oblivious. Katrine scowled and hoped that her face back at Hange's office hadn't looked so stupid.
"Slowly!" Silas barked after them. He pointed at Katrine. "Map."
She pulled the map from her pack, careful not to dislodge the grenade she'd tucked safely away, and held it out. Thankfully Hange hadn't seemed to notice one was missing.
"No, you show me where we are." He tossed his finished cigarette off the edge. "Gotta teach you to read so you won't get lost again."
Katrine dug her nails into her palm. "Yes, sir."
Silas held the surveying compass up to his eye and inspected the trees across the ravine. He sighed again and pointed at where they were on the map. "You see this squiggly line? Right above it says 'Marni River.' Mar-ni."
"I can read," she insisted.
He scoffed. "If you can read, then I'm the princess of Mitras."
Katrine couldn't decide if he seriously thought she couldn't read, or if this was some retribution for earlier. She'd kept her head down and attended every training. She didn't know if Erwin had told anyone about the mapping exercise. At every expedition meeting Silas mumbled about a red-haired Titan that sat in a tree, grinning, while a horde of Titans swarmed below it and stampeded wherever it pointed. Whenever he caught her gaze he looked both angered and afraid, though Sara assured her he looked at everyone like that.
A faint crash echoed to their right and both of them jumped when a mass of screaming crows shot into the sky. Katrine's throat constricted when a louder noise followed.
"Well, fuck me," Silas said, tucking the compass into his pocket. "Guess they didn't get stuck in the mud. Come on, we've got to get Henry and Sara." He turned his horse to the left and galloped away.
She shoved the crumpled map into her waistband and followed. They raced against the cliff's edge, sending sprays of pebbles and dirt tumbling below as the heavy footsteps continued.
Silas skidded to a stop and Katrine yanked at her reins. She grit her teeth. The chain lay in a heap in the mud, but Henry and Sara were gone. Trees snapped behind them and Katrine gripped her reins tighter. There was no evidence they'd been eaten, but where could they have gone?
There! Prints!
"Look!" Relieved, she pointed to the hoofprints in the mud leading into the forest. Silas nodded.
Suddenly a guttural roar filled the air and a Titan burst from the trees, careening towards them on hands and feet. It grinned wildly, drool streaming out its mouth, giant white teeth glinting. Katrine jabbed her knees into her horse's flanks and turned towards the hoofprints.
"Come on!" Silas continued alongside the gorge, away from the trail Sara and Henry had left.
She followed, confused. "But Sara-"
"They're in the trees!"
Katrine turned back to find a hoard of Titans barreling after them and shoving each other for room in the narrow strip of land between the trees and cliff's edge. One lost its footing and plummeted down to the river. There were none in the trees, at least none she could find.
"You see that Titan, you tell me!" Silas shouted.
"There's ten of them!"
"That red bastard!"
Katrine turned again but didn't see any red-haired Titan. They all congealed into a blur, only becoming visible when one fell or was pushed off the cliffside. But the group was growing closer.
"We have to jump!" she shouted.
Silas laughed wildly. "You're crazy! There's no way we'd make the distance!"
"Not here! Where the bridge was!" It was the narrowest point in the ravine, a gap of only a few meters. Maybe Sara and Henry had run the opposite way to gain momentum and jumped as well-
"No! Absolutely not!"
"They're going to catch up!"
Silas didn't respond. Exhaling forcefully to concentrate, Katrine considered the width of the ravine. It was possible for her horse to clear it. It had to be. The bridge's remains were fast approaching.
"It's either falling or getting eaten!" she shouted, catching up to Silas. Instead of looking straight ahead he gazed down at the river with a lost expression. His face was devoid of its usual red flush.
He's afraid of it, she realized with a shiver. That must have why he'd avoided the bridge that time. Heights or water. But it didn't matter now. The ravine went on for miles, and she'd rather fall than be eaten.
Katrine pivoted into the forest towards the cleared path that led to the bridge. She'd need the space to gain momentum. If Silas wasn't going to make the right choice, she'd have to make it for them.
Once she was far enough away, she turned her horse towards the ravine, locating the broken post indicating where the bridge had been. She jammed her heels into her horse's ribs, urging it on, and whispered assurances to both her horse and herself that it was going to be perfectly fine and as easy as an assemblé, something the corps girls could do in their sleep.
"Katrine! Stop!"
She ignored Silas, not breaking her gaze from the post. It grew larger and larger as she neared the edge and right before she thought she could see the grain of the wood she yanked her reins upwards and they were airborne.
Suddenly her stomach disappeared. The wind lifted her hair, sending a chill down her neck. Katrine picked one balding tree in the horizon and focused on it, refusing to look below. The world turned silent and slow. For all she knew the Titans might have vanished, or Silas had jumped too. It had been too long, far too long in the air. Biting down panic, she started counting branches. One, two, three-
Her horse crashed down to land, rattling her bones, and then the air was again filled with roars and screams and the smell of fear. She turned, panting. They'd landed a few feet from the edge and a delayed burst of panic twisted in her chest.
Silas remained on the other side, frozen in the path. A mass of Titans was only a few meters away.
"Jump!" Katrine screamed.
He twitched as if woken from a trance and and started for the edge, eyes squeezed shut. But right before he reached it he jerked back on his reins and his horse skidded to a stop.
"Silas!"
It was pointless. A meaty hand shot forward and plucked Silas off his horse. His mouth moved noiselessly. He could have meant to shout for her to run, or was cursing her with his last words. But his gaze was on the Titans, searching for something.
Katrine ducked her head and galloped back towards where they came, her vision tunneling. Silas was dead, who knew where Sara and Henry were, and she was all alone. What chance did she have against a hundred Titans? Even with a grenade there was little she could do to make it out alive. Her eyes stung. Stupid way to die, abandoned in a forest with no one to find me and nowhere near far enough away from Mitras! Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Suddenly her horse reared back and skidded to a halt. Her thoughts scattered. They were at the lip of a crater, and at the other side was a black cavern surrounded by cracked wooden beams. She'd been here before. Schwarz Mine, Katrine remembered dully as she gasped for breath. She had to analyze her surroundings. No Titans in sight. But there was no wind rustling the leaves, no birds calling. The silence was stagnant. Had they followed her along the ravine? She hadn't thought to look. Shaking, she swiped at her forehead and her fingers came back moist. They could emerge any moment, one or ten or a thousand of them.
Her eyes darted upwards. Where were the birds? A flock of them could indicate Titans. But it was only gray, swollen clouds threatening rain and- there! A faint line of green smoke trailed into the sky, back towards the ravine.
Katrine laughed in delight. Sara! It had to be them! Not dying, not today! She turned her horse around and rushed through the trees back towards the river. The smoke was still visible from the trees on the other side. She pursed her lips. They'd have to jump again.
Slowing to a trot, Katrine searched for sure footholds along the edge that were narrow enough to clear. Finally she found a ledge with hard-packed dirt, though it seemed to be a longer distance to the other side than the first gap.
"If we did it once, we can do it again," she said to her horse while stroking its mane, and led it back into the trees. Just like that grand jeté in The Crane Queen. Easier, even.
Sufficiently far and with a clear path to the ravine, Katrine took a deep breath and held it, then jabbed her horse to gallop. They shot forward and she leaned into its neck, hunching her shoulders. Every muscle tensed, screaming that this was terrible and foolish and not how she wanted to die, but it was certainly better than hands crushing her neck.
They leaped. This time she was in the air for an instant before her horse's front hooves met the ground with such force her head slammed into its neck and they rocked forward. They slowly titled backwards as its hind legs followed and Katrine wondered briefly if she'd broken her nose. She straightened. But the trees before her continued to tip upwards. Katrine knew before she could even form the thought that her horse's back legs had not hit ground but only empty air.
Time accelerated at the same time as her horse scrabbled fruitlessly for purchase. All she saw were gray skies as they plummeted to the deadly waters below. Again, all the air escaped her lungs. But this time there was no one there to catch her, no hand pressing into her spine, fingers sending sparks flying down every nerve. Instead only cold wind roared in her ears and sent her hair whipping around her face.
No, not now. Not when she hadn't found out what hid beyond the Walls and why she'd do anything to feel that hand on her back again.
Katrine grabbed the front of her saddle and shifted to her feet, shooting her grapples to the rocky cliffside and jumping off her horse. The cables retracted and lifted her safely to rest against the craggy face, but she covered her ears as she crouched against the rocks. She couldn't bear to hear her horse hit the water.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to," Katrine whispered as she slowly removed her hands from her ears. Without looking down she scaled the cliff and fell to her knees when she felt solid ground, her fingers digging into the dirt. Her chest constricted like she was about to cry and her body ached.
What a stupid thing to think about before you die, she chided herself. Really, of all moments, that one? She shook her head and rose slowly.
The green smoke was gone. Katrine shot off her own flare, hoping to see one in return, and studied her surroundings. Nothing out of the ordinary, no loud noises, no animals fleeing. Her heart pounded. Where had they gone?
Another trail of green smoke rose above the treetops, and Katrine grappled herself onto a branch and raced towards it. The route took her higher into the mountains, where the trees became denser and terrain craggier. Sara and Henry must have run this way because it would be harder for Titans to follow if they needed to use ODM. Smart of them. Maybe she should have done that instead of jumping and Silas would still be alive. Her throat tightened and she tried not to think of the look on his face before he tried to jump.
Katrine found them at the top of a cliff that looked out above the forest. Henry stood peering over the edge with his arms folded while Sara paced besides their horses. Both were seemingly unharmed. Relieved, Katrine jumped down into the clearing. After twitching in alarm, Sara gasped and rushed towards her.
"Oh, thank heavens, you're alright!" They embraced and Katrine buried her face in her hair. She was okay, they were both okay, she hadn't messed it up again. Sara pulled back and inspected her for injuries. "But where's Captain Silas? And what happened to your horse?"
Katrine shook her head. "Dead. Both of them."
Sara's face fell. "But...now how are we going to get home?" Her lower lip began to shake.
"Maybe you shouldn't have come," Henry said. He motioned Katrine over to the cliff's edge. She walked over and immediately her heart sank.
A hoard of at least sixty Titans swarmed at the base of the cliff. They clambered over each other, limbs and heads rising and falling beneath others. The mass looked like one giant organism, a writhing flesh-colored centipede waiting for them to make a move.
"Not good," Katrine said. "When did they show up?"
"Right after I shot the second flare. It's like they knew."
She grimaced. "I hope I didn't lead them here."
"No, seems like they came the opposite way. And that one probably led them here." Henry pointed at a splintered fir tree a few meters to the right of the mass. A small Titan sat atop it, feet tucked neatly beneath it, its blazing mass of red hair visible from their height. While the other Titans crawled on top of each other, the red-haired Titan stared up at them, unmoving. It was impossible to know, but it might have been smiling. A spike of fear pierced her chest.
"Strangest Abnormal I've ever seen," Henry muttered.
"Wasn't that the one Captain Silas kept going on about?" Sara asked from behind them, a safe distance from the edge. "I thought he was exaggerating."
"He wasn't," Katrine said. That Titan could have been the last thing Charlotte saw before she died. She looked away.
"So," Henry said, turning away from the Titans. "What are we going to do?"
"We should shoot the flares again," Sara said. "Maybe someone's out there."
Henry shook his head. "I don't think so. There weren't any other missions nearby. And we've got to be ten kilometers away from Marni Castle." He pointed to another part of the gorge to the west where it appeared that the earth had caved in further, damming the river. "Look over there. We can ride over it."
Sara stood on her toes and peered at the dam. "It doesn't look sturdy enough. We'd lose our footing."
"I have a grenade," Katrine blurted.
They both stared at her incredulously. In the silence Katrine could hear a faint moan from a Titan below. But then Henry stepped back gingerly like she could explode any moment. "You...have a grenade?"
"I took it from- Well, I thought it'd be useful."
Henry's face paled. He looked more afraid now than he did at the sight of the Titan hoard. "You...had one this whole time?"
"Yeah! I'm not letting them kill me!"
He shuddered. "Crazy," he muttered.
"But what can you do with it? Drop it on them?" Sara asked tentatively.
"And kill ourselves in the process? No way!"
Katrine shook her head. "He's right. And besides, I'm not sure how strong it is. There are so many, it might just injure some and they'll still come after us." She reached into her pack to remove the grenade, holding it up to them. It seemed too tiny to make much of an impact, but she knew better than to underestimate it. "But there's a mine about a kilometer that way," she said, gesturing with the hand holding the grenade.
"Shit! Be careful with that thing!" Henry jumped back.
"Let her finish," Sara said, chewing on her thumbnail.
"Schwarz Mine. It collapsed years ago, so there's no entrances. That means that the gases inside have been building up pressure for a while. Really flammable. If the grenade explodes in a place like that, then there's going to be even more pressure and the explosion'll be massive-"
"Why do you know this?" Henry looked suspicious.
Katrine waved a hand. "Read about it. So what we're going to do is lead the Titans there. It's in a crater, so it'll be difficult for them to crawl back out once they've fallen in. Then we toss it in, double back this way, and boom! It explodes, killing them all."
"But you'd get caught in the blast," Sara said.
"Last time there was about ten seconds lead time-"
Henry balked. "Last time? When the hell was last time?"
"Er- Look, I know what I'm doing, I promise." She tucked the grenade into her waistband.
"How's the grenade going to get in if there's no entrances?" Sara asked.
"There I'm not sure. I think we'll have to throw it near the caved-in entrance and hope it's enough-"
"'Hope it's enough?' That's all you've got?" Henry threw up his hands. "This is ridiculous!"
"You have anything better?"
"That's what you said last time!"
"And you're still alive! That enough for you?" Katrine's patience was wearing thin.
"Stop, please," Sara said. "Henry, if you don't want to do it, then I will." Though her voice shook, it was resolute. Katrine immediately felt nervous.
"No, you're not," Henry said. "If Katrine wants to kill herself so badly, she can do it herself."
"It should be two of us," Katrine said. "In case something goes wrong. But someone should be here in case we don't make it, and to watch the horses. You're faster with ODM, Henry."
"Screw that. I'm not blowing myself to bits."
"Then you stay. I don't see any better option." Sara put her hands on her hips and raised her chin, as if gathering her strength.
"No!" Henry thrust a hand forward. "Fine. Sara, you stay. I'll go."
Katrine held in a sigh of relief. "We're going to jump down and lead the Titans through the forest. We'll have to cross the river, but it shouldn't be a problem with ODM. If we go near the dam, then they should follow. Then once we get to the mine, we're going to get as close as we can so the Titans go over the ridge, and throw the grenade and double back."
"You know, I was hoping when I died my body would make it back in one piece," Henry grumbled.
"Even better, you could live to see tomorrow!"
"Stop it! It's not going to work if you keep bickering the whole way," Sara said.
"Yes, ma'am," Katrine said. Henry pressed his lips together and nodded solemnly.
"Katrine, you should take my gas," Sara said. "You must've used a lot today."
She checked the gauge on her canisters. Half empty. She shook her head. "If we don't come back, you'll need it."
"Don't talk like that. I'll wait until nightfall."
"Sounds like a plan."
Sara nodded and forced a half-smile.
"See you later, then," Katrine said and approached the edge of the cliff. The Titans were still there, clawing at the base, watched over by the red-haired Titan. She pointed to it. "That's the one to lure. Silas said that other Titans follow it."
"Sure," Henry said, unconvinced.
Katrine bit back a response, wrapping her braid around her neck and tucking the tail behind her collar. She aimed her grapples for a tree near the red-haired Titan and jumped off the cliff's edge, sailing over the rest of them. It raised its head, watching her land on a sturdy branch with bloodshot green eyes. It smiled. But it did not move.
"Me, Ugly, look at me!"
It ignored her. Instead, its head darted back around. Henry was in the air. The Titan stared up at him, head following his arc, and then slowly raised one arm. It pointed.
The others snapped to attention and thundered towards them, splintering trees and slipping over each other in the mud.
"Go!" Henry shouted, sprinting ahead across the treetops.
Katrine shot forward too, catching up to Henry while scoping the landscape to find where they were. Get to the dam, cross the river, reach the mine, done. The forest quickly gave way and the gorge appeared, clogged by dirt and boulders, and they flew over it into the trees on the other side. Easy.
She turned to locate the Titans. With a sharp gasp she watched one hurl itself across the gorge and slam into the cliff's edge, dig its fingers into the ground to hoist itself up, and lunge at them, covering enough distance that she could see the clods of dirt underneath its jagged nails. She shrieked as it smashed into a trunk a few feet away from Henry.
"They're not supposed to do that!" he shouted, moving up higher into the trees.
"We're almost there!" The branches beneath her shook as the Titans barreled after them. "You need to turn around when we get to the mine!"
"Right into their mouths? No way!"
"Not if you're quick!" Katrine grappled herself up above the foliage. The craggy pit in the middle of the forest grew larger as they flew towards it and her stomach fluttered. She'd have to grab a low branch right at the edge of the crater and throw the grenade as she swung herself backwards. Like before, but she'd have to hold on for longer and hope she could throw it far enough.
The trees began to thin. The entrance was visible, an inky crevice in the side of the rock, but it looked as tiny as the eye of a needle. Her throat squeezed. Her aim had always been terrible; why hadn't she given the grenade to Henry?
She squinted against the wind. Levi had done it just fine. She could, too.
"Turn, Henry, now!"
Katrine found her branch and pulled the grenade out of her waistband. Grappling onto it, she pitched herself towards the ground and tucked her legs into her chest. Her stomach rose into her throat as the earth shook below her but she braced herself and waited for the moment to arrive. The cue, the swell of music, the great leap.
She released the grapples when all she saw was sky and gas shot from her canisters and she was airborne. She yanked the pin out of the grenade and hurled it at the black cavern while the Titans burst out of the forest and plunged into the pit. As they struggled to get up more piled on top of them and tumbled further down. The mass kept growing, twenty turning into thirty until a cloud of dust engulfed them and the grenade disappeared from sight.
One. Two. Counting the seconds, Katrine twisted and shot her grapples back into the trees. It was time to hit the landing. Shielding herself, she plunged into the leaves and jumped from branch to branch at breakneck speed. Her chest screamed, but what if she'd underestimated the power of the grenade? Five, six, seven. She squinted, trying to locate the gorge.
"Katrine! Did you throw it?" A blond flash flickered to her left and Henry appeared beside her, face flushed.
"Yes!"
He craned his head back. "They're following!"
She turned and watched one straggler pick itself up off the ground and start after them. Nine, ten. "It's fine, the rest fell in!" Forcing herself to move faster, she searched for any hint of the gorge ahead of them.
"It hasn't gone off! It's not working!"
Eleven, twelve. Fear twisted its way down her legs. Thirteen, fourteen!
"Give it a-"
The explosion hit her right as she heard it, a monstrous scorching gale that tore the breath out of her lungs and knocked her teeth together. The warm taste of iron filled her mouth. Her ears rang. The acrid stench of smoke and flesh singed her nose. Something that looked like an arm whizzed by her head. Branches and leaves whipped past her, scratching her skin, but she shielded her face and forced herself to look forward. A wide wall of rock filled her vision and rapidly expanded. The river, shelter! She shot one grapple to the closer edge of the gorge. Retracting her cable, she swung down into the gorge and curled into a ball, bracing herself for the water's impact.
Suddenly everything was silent. The ringing vanished and her skin stopped burning. The icy water soothed the scratches on her cheeks. Tiny bubbles danced around her temples. She wanted to sigh in relief as she reached her arms to the light at the surface and kicked her legs.
She didn't rise. She sank.
Panicked, Katrine kicked harder. She went nowhere. The air in her lungs grew hot and painful but she swallowed it down as she fruitlessly clawed towards the flickering, shrinking light at the surface. Not like this, please! It was hopeless. The light grew smaller and the water darker, colder.
Her energy seemed to have vanished, sucked away by the chill. She stopped moving. She wanted to sob. This wasn't the way she wanted to die. What a waste of a grenade! Maybe it hadn't even done anything but blow a hole in the ground, and she'd left Sara all alone to die. Just broken glass waiting for somebody to step on it.
A hand seized her wrist and her mouth opened to gasp. Bloody fingers flashed in her mind as water flooded her lungs and she thrashed against its grip. They were back to smother her! That hand was going to inch down her arm and wrap itself around her neck!
She struggled harder, legs flailing. Another hand grabbed her bicep and she wanted to scream but there was no air left. She couldn't tell which way was up anymore. They were going to drag her down and pull off her head and put with all the others, little jewels trapped in a velvet box, and no one was going to find her to see what they'd done!
Suddenly she burst out of the water, coughing and choking, vision blurry. The hand tightened its grip on her bicep and she tried again to yank it away.
"Katrine! It's me! Stop freaking out!"
She yelped. Henry, treading water beside her, gaped at her like she'd grown another head. There was a gash on his forehead.
"Your ODM! It's too heavy, let me help you!"
She looked to the shore and saw his ODM resting in the sand. She nodded dumbly, afraid to meet his gaze. The water lapped harmlessly around her as he pulled her along to the shore. Heaving herself onto dry land, she spat out water and tried to breathe, shuddering.
"What the hell's wrong with you? You trying to drown us both?" Henry pressed a hand against his side, wheezing. There was a large red stain on his jacket.
"I'm-" She coughed up more water. "I'm sorry." She stared at her hands. The skin on her arms was a bright, angry pink.
He sighed. "Well, we're alive. Somehow. Still can't believe that worked."
Katrine collapsed onto her back, not caring about the mud squelching beneath her. "I'm not. I knew it would," she said confidently, trying to ignore what just happened.
"Are you injured?"
She shook her head. "What about you?"
"Hit a tree." He gestured to his side. "That blast was incredible. Went faster than I ever did with ODM."
"Hmm." She hadn't thought of that. The force of the blast before hadn't been nearly as powerful as this one.
He picked up his gear and reattached it. "Good thing I saw you fall into the river. You could've drowned."
"I didn't fall. It was on purpose." She turned away to look at the logs gathering on top of the water, and then forced her eyes to the sky when they reminded her of floating bodies.
"If you say so. Come on, let's go find Sara. She probably thinks we've been blasted to smithereens!" He laughed, holding out a hand. Katrine swallowed hard and scrambled to her feet. They started ascending the cliff wall.
"If we run into any Titans, you get to fight them. And then we're shit outta luck," Henry said as they reached the forest. "I think I broke a rib."
"No way," she said. "I don't fail. I killed them all."
"Well, this is certainly a novel method to kill Titans," Erwin said. From beside him, Katrine furtively studied his reaction. He assessed the remains of Schwarz Mine with as much interest as he would a blank wall.
The smoke and fire had dissipated with the return of the rain, but the air still smelled of metal and ash. Even from where they stood at the lip of the crater it was strong enough to make her eyes water. She quickly swiped at them, trying to keep her expression similarly neutral.
"None appear to be alive, sir," a Scout called out from the pit.
"Thank you." The Scout saluted and hoisted himself over a bone the size of a tree trunk to return to the others inspecting skulls. The place where she thought the caved-in entrance should be was a heap of stones and splintered wood. "I assume this was your idea? I would hope you'd take credit for it this time."
She hesitated. "It was."
"Now, you said that you got them to follow you to the mine, and you used their momentum against them to trap them in the crater. The grenade ignited a larger explosion than normal because of the mine. And the only injuries were some scrapes and burns and a broken rib?"
She nodded.
Erwin folded his arms. "I didn't think of you as someone to attempt a suicide mission."
I'd rather you not think of me at all. "I knew- Well, I was pretty confident we could take cover in time. In the gorge."
"And where did you get a grenade?"
"In the basement. I found it when I was replacing my blades." What was with all the questions? He hadn't asked nearly as many back when she'd returned from the abandoned village with Levi. He'd questioned her separately, and it didn't seem like a good idea to needle Levi for what he'd said.
Erwin nodded. Katrine looked out at the wreckage and bit back a triumphant smile. Sixty of them, at least, a heap of lifeless bones that couldn't kill her or anyone else. If she squinted she was sure she could make out a tangle of red hair beneath one of the cracked skulls.
"Katrine, I'm sure you read the contract you signed when you joined the Scouts."
Her brow furrowed. "Yes."
"And you remember clause thirteen, section eight point four, which regards the improper use of weapons by cadets?"
She scanned through the contract she'd signed years ago in her mind. Of course she remembered, but why did it matter?
"And I'm sure your memory will serve you correctly in recalling that grenades are listed under that section, and are forbidden for cadets to use without the consent of an officer. Yet from what I understand, Captain Silas had died before you decided to use the grenade."
"But it wasn't. 'In engaging Titans, cadets shall not use munitions of great risk to other soldiers, including but not limited to smokescreens, chemicals, and incendiary devices, without the express permission of their commanding officer.' It's not listed."
"A grenade is an incendiary device."
"Incendiary devices, unlike grenades, use ignition rather than detonation to start fires." That came from a weapons manual collecting dust at headquarters in Trost. It sounded true if she acted like it was.
"If your argument hinges on semantics, then it fails under the language 'not limited to.'"
"But I used one before! No one said anything then." Her voice sounded whiny and she chided herself.
"Really?" He raised his eyebrows, a false show of surprise. "Levi told me that he decided to use it."
What did that mean? Had Levi taken credit for her idea, or covered for her? Technically he had thrown it, but he'd been opposed to it. She took a deep breath through her nose, trying to calm her swirling thoughts and steady her voice. "Okay, so it's against the rules, but I don't see how that matters when we're alive. If I didn't use it, we'd be dead."
Erwin sighed. "Unfortunately, General Zackley is a stickler for rules. If he finds out that a mine that could have been useful in the future was destroyed, he'd be furious, and even more so that someone violated the contract. Believe me, you don't want to go to Mitras to be court-martialed." He smiled sheepishly.
Mitras. Katrine stiffened. No, not again, not ever again. Was Erwin going to send her there in chains to be locked in a cage once again for them all to tear at her clothes so they could poke and prod her naked body? The raindrops turned heavy as iron, sure to leave bruises the size of fingerprints on her shoulders. She grabbed her hair and yanked at it hard enough that pinpricks exploded behind her head. Think, think! She turned to study his expression, desperate for any clue, and he was looking right at her, analyzing every move she'd made and every thought in her head and he knew! He saw the blood, the sweat, the greasy trails of oil left by some man's hands!
"So," Erwin continued, and her breath hitched in her throat. "The solution is simple. When Captain Silas died, the position immediately transferred to the highest ranking cadet. Which would be you."
"...What?" The word was thick in her mouth.
"You're now the Cartography Unit captain. Congratulations."
"But… Henry ranked higher than I did. When we graduated."
"Can Henry recall maps with such precision? And, as I assumed, the entire Survey Corps contract?"
That's what happens when you show off! Cecily would have cackled. "No…" She sounded so stupid! "But…"
"This aligns with the contract. What's the problem?" He sounded surprised. It was the first thing he said that didn't make her think he'd planned the whole thing out ahead of time.
"I...I can't."
"Why not?"
Look after them, Valeria had said. But she hadn't! She was somehow completely incapable of doing it!
"I…um, I just think I'd be really bad at it." She cringed. Couldn't she think of something that didn't sound nearly as idiotic?
"How so?" His expression was calm but his eyes flashed with curiosity. It was like he was close to proving a hypothesis.
Stop asking questions! "I'd-" She bit her tongue, forcing herself to stop and glare at her boots. She couldn't tell, and her mind was too foggy to think up believable lies.
"So you'd rather Commander Zackley court-martial you and go to Mitras than be a captain?"
"No!" Too loud. Entirely too loud.
"It's settled, then." He smiled. Hypothesis proven. "You should be aware, though, unauthorized absences for captains are punished more severely than for cadets. Certainly would warrant a court-martial. So please be careful not to get lost, if you go looking for people on the moon again."
"Excuse me?"
"You don't remember saying that? Back in your initial interview?" He chuckled.
Her fingers curled into fists. She hated him. She hated him for remembering and for cataloguing everything she said, and hated herself nearly as much for being so arrogant and forthcoming. Should've played stupid instead of acting like no one could touch her!
"Oh, while we're on the subject, a man from Mitras wrote to me. He expressed interest in your career with the Scouts. He was eager to know when you'd return."
The earth turned soft. Her teeth chattered even though it wasn't cold. Faces flooded back in her mind, dozens of hands floating above her shoulders. The air in her lungs vanished but she forced herself to choke out the question he expected her to ask. "Who?"
"An Emile Kaiser."
Emile? Mr. Kaiser had a name? He had a name that his mother called him, maybe even a wife and children, like he wasn't a monster? All the years she'd cursed him in her head she had to refer to him as Mr. Kaiser like she was eternally eight years old! That cockroach had a name and Erwin knew it before she did?
"Very accomplished man, it seems. But, your next furlough isn't until next month."
There was no need for Erwin to look at her. Her silence and white knuckles told him all he needed to know. Katrine tried to calm her breath, staring into the wreckage, trying to remember it consisted of Titan corpses and not human ones. He gave her a curt nod and stepped into the crater.
"You get four members. I'll have someone deliver you the profiles of available Scouts," he called back before vanishing into the copse of bones.
The stack of profiles was delivered the next day, no time wasted, so she sneered at it for three days before even reading the first page.
Katrine sat in Marni Castle's cramped mess hall, a flickering candle dripping wax on the table and a cold cup of tea leaving a ring on a rejected profile. It was nearly four in the morning, and she could have done this elsewhere, but she wanted to be there just in case Erwin passed through so she could glare at him. She'd already found Sara's profile and put it aside. Henry's, too. She owed him now, and needed an opportunity to pay him back.
Flipping through the pages, she watched the sketches of Scouts combine into one unremarkable face. She remembered sitting for it back when she'd enlisted, just like when the Mitras Company brought in an artist to paint her for the performance posters. Was this so that they could tell them apart from the other dead bodies?
One caught her attention. She stopped at a sketch of an austere-looking woman with high cheekbones and a severe blonde bob. Elisabeth Smith, the profile read. Katrine cocked her head. Coincidence, or did Erwin have a sister? She'd never heard of one. Height, one hundred eighty centimeters. Age, thirty-three. A younger sister, then. The eyebrows were unnervingly similar. Katrine plucked the profile out of the stack and placed it with Sara and Henry's. Even if she wasn't Erwin's sister, she'd take the risk. How irritating for him, having his sister serve under her! She smirked.
"One explosion wasn't enough for you?" a voice said from behind her. His voice.
She grabbed her pen and twisted it in her trembling fingers. "Certainly not."
Levi appeared from behind her. He was dressed like he was about to go outside for drills, in the same loose-fitting shirt he'd worn before and she forced herself to look at the space just beyond him so she wouldn't think of how it'd clung to him.
"Felt the tremor all the way out here. Chipped my teacup." He nodded at the papers in front of her. "Maybe your raise can buy me a new one."
"Maybe it was your own fault."
He rolled his eyes. "I was wondering where you got another one of those. I guess that's what you were sneaking out of Hange's office."
Her cheeks burned. Of course he'd figured it out! But did that mean Erwin knew too? "No one else was going to use it," she said, staring intently at a drawing of a man with an unfortunately bulbous nose, relieved the dim light of the candle wouldn't reveal her face.
"No one's going to listen to a theory about sweat without an ulterior motive." He rested one hand on the back of a chair. "Cartography captain, huh? And they said us sewer rats wouldn't amount to anything."
When he said it like that, it was almost a good thing. "Who would've thought?" She smiled as she flipped to the next profile and the pen slipped out of her hand.
Victoria stared back at her, alive and trapped in a sketch. It looked like the artist had decided as some practical joke to give her a soldier's uniform instead of a costume and tiara. There was the same dark hair, those mischievous eyes and small smile. Her neck was clean, unblemished. Impossible! Katrine scanned the top of the page. Mila Schon, age fifteen. Recent graduate, ranked twelfth in her class. Without looking away Katrine bent over to retrieve the pen.
Levi was quiet, too quick with his movements, and without her noticing he'd bent down too and instead of the pen her fingertips brushed his skin. She inhaled sharply which he must have heard but all she could think was he touched me he touched me he touched me, and her skin was ablaze but she wanted to keep it like that instead of tearing it off.
Levi set the pen down on the table. His expression was cool. "You're doing that to piss him off, right?" He gestured to Elisabeth's profile.
"No." Katrine straightened as if nothing had happened. "She's good at physical combat, actually. I'll need that." Without bothering to read the rest she placed Mila's profile with the other three.
He pulled out a chair and sat, pulling the four profiles towards him. "Chosen your victims?"
Her stomach twisted. Being a captain meant responsibility for their lives. Victims felt about right.
"Surprised he'd even entertain the possibility of letting you have her," he said, flipping over Elisabeth's profile.
"Why'd you tell him the grenade was your idea?" she blurted. Shit! Don't ask him that!
He paused. Even for someone who never made any unnecessary movements, the pause was noticeable. A small line appeared between his brows. Was he angry? Or just caught? "Someone had to answer for letting you go through with that stupid plan. Don't you know tea tastes better without milk?"
She grimaced. "Too bitter without it."
"That's the point."
"I apologize, I forgot you were an expert on the subject." She gathered the rejected profiles and neatened them into a stack. That wasn't an answer. And why'd he say it so quickly?
"So." He leaned back in his chair. "How'd you figure out how to blow off sixty Titans' heads without losing your own?"
Katrine rested her chin in her hand. "Well," she started, "did you know the gases inside mines are very reactive to heat?"
A/N: I have no idea if this is scientifically accurate, I was only a history major