Chapter 11

Tap. Tap.

Bakugou's eye twitched, his eyes trying to concentrate on the TV show in front of him.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Todoroki sat next to him. He was fiddling with one of the cat's—Shiro, as the idiot decided—toys: a mouse on a string that was attached to a pole.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

But instead of actively trying to play keep-away with the cat, Todoroki was thumping the pole against the arm of the couch, his eyes glazed over. The cat wasn't interested at all.

Bakugou folded his arms across his chest and kept glancing over at Todoroki.

He was fidgeting. Much more than usual.

Why was he so twitchy today?

"Oi," Bakugou finally called, snapping the other out of it. Todoroki blinked and stopped messing with the cat toy, turning his head back to look at Bakugou. "The hell's your problem? You have to pee or somethin'?"

Todoroki twisted his lips and shook his head. "No. I… I'm fine."

Bakugou quirked a brow at him. He leaned close to Todoroki, nudging his shoulder with his own.

"You're a shitty liar," Bakugou said.

Todoroki managed a small smile—butterflies immediately circling Bakugou's stomach—and leaned into Bakugou's shoulder. He took a deep breath and slumped against the couch, bonking his head lightly against Bakugou's.

"I'm meeting Izuku today," he explained.

The butterflies froze and shattered to pieces in Bakugou's belly, making him choke on air. He cleared his throat and glanced down at Todoroki's red and white hair, resisting the urge to rub his cheek on the top of his head. Bakugou felt territorial all of a sudden, wanting to mark him as his own.

But he didn't belong to Bakugou. His brain knew that, but his heart was still sickeningly attached.

"I see," Bakugou said. He felt rigid against Todoroki, not even wanting to touch him. It felt wrong, like he was betraying his own heart by keeping his hopes up. "Well. You'll have to let me know how it goes later."

Todoroki didn't look up at him, but Bakugou was sure he felt how stiff his back had gotten. He sniffed and sat up, sighing.

"Well, I'm gonna go work out," Bakugou said, standing abruptly from the couch and jostling Todoroki in the process. Todoroki frowned at him, his brows scrunched slightly as he watched him get ready. "Will I see you at the bar later?"

Todoroki swallowed and shrugged. "I'm not sure. Izuku was only free for dinner."

Bakugou wanted to roll his eyes. That bastard couldn't even make time to meet him for the evening.

"Okay. I'll see you later then," Bakugou said dryly. "Have fun with your meeting, or whatever."

With those parting words, Bakugou left his apartment in a huff, his frown prominent on his face. How annoying and agitating.

That Deku… While he was a huge mess of anxiety and an avid mutterer, he knew how to get through to people. Which was why Bakugou's stomach was swirling with nausea. There was no telling how persuasive Deku could be.

He decided he would just beat his feelings out at the gym. His therapist did recommend venting out his frustrations during exercise instead of using it on someone's face.

Bakugou ended up going to work sweaty and feeling gross. He hadn't taped his hands properly so his knuckles were banged up. He had gotten impatient by it all, wanting nothing more than to distract himself from it.

All he could think about was Todoroki taking back Deku, and their stupid lovey-dovey faces riding off into the sunset together. It was so annoying.

He supposed he would have to get used to the heartbreaking feeling eventually. He was in the five stages of grief. He might as well get it over with.

The night was typical; there were a few sleazebags here and there, and of course, some hot college guys that tried to get Bakugou's number. Bakugou painfully admitted to himself that he was rather tempted by the guy's flirtatious advancements.

Bakugou almost took the bait. He even put his hand in his pocket to pull out his phone to exchange numbers. He could use a night of good, mindless sex. But as his hand clasped around the device in his pocket, Todoroki's face popped up in his mind, and his gut twisted with guilt.

Dammit! He can't even flirt properly anymore!

Bakugou apologized to the hot—very hot, very very hot—guy and told him he wasn't interested (it was a lie!). The guy was disappointed, but he didn't make a huge scene about it. He just grabbed his drink and went over to the booth with the rest of his friends.

Bakugou grit his teeth and knelt down behind the counter to hook up the new keg to the tap.

"That Half 'n Half bastard," Bakugou whispered to himself. He thunked his head against the top of the keg, the metal clunk sound resonating to his teeth. "Stupid idiot."

"Gee, you must be talking about me! Heh…"

A nervous, irritating voice echoed through Bakugou's ears, and he snapped his gaze up to see a familiar face peeking over the edge of the counter.

"What the hell?" Bakugou said. He turned off the tap and stopped filling, moving instead to stand to his feet. He glowered at the man in front of him, his hands curling into fists. "What makes you think you can set foot into my bar, Deku?"

Deku shrank back only a little, his strained smile falling from his face. He scratched his cheek and then bowed.

"Kacchan, I am really sorry for what happened last time," Deku apologized. "I am not here to cause any trouble. I just want to talk and hopefully… hopefully, earn your forgiveness."

"Tch. Fat chance," Bakugou said.

He wanted to dismiss him, not wanting to hear a word from him. But he hated that he was so curious. Wasn't he supposed to be meeting Todoroki right now?

Bakugou folded his arms across his chest and glared. "Well? I'm listening. What do you want?"

Deku tentatively raised his head and his eyes sparkled. "Thank you for taking the time to listen to me, Kacchan!"

"Dammit, will you just get to the point?" Bakugou said.

"Right. Right," Deku said. He took in a deep breath and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Ah, well… I met with Shouto just now. Over dinner."

Bakugou felt his heart drop into his stomach. Here it comes, Bakugou thought. The heartfelt confession that he had managed to win back his estranged husband and that he would promise to do better. He didn't want to hear it. He wanted nothing to do with it.

"Well, good for you," Bakugou snapped, looking down at the keg. He thought about kneeling back down and getting back to work.

Deku had a sad smile on his face, his eyes looking down at the ground. He took in a deep breath and sighed, his hand reaching up to rub his cheek.

"We're getting a divorce," Deku said plainly.

Bakugou glanced back up at him, his heart back on full-throttle. He stiffened his stance and lowered his hands to his sides.

"Divorce?" Bakugou repeated.

"Yep," Deku said with a sigh. He walked forward and sat himself down on one of the stools, leaning heavily on the bar counter with one hand. "It was the first thing he mentioned when we sat down. It was even before we ordered food! I could barely eat my meal when it came."

Bakugou wanted to laugh. That sounded like Todoroki. Dense as hell when it came to social cues. At least they had an actual meal to sit down and talk, even if they didn't eat much of it. It was probably the first meal they'd had together in a long time.

"I guess I should've seen it coming. I mean, he seems to know what he wants," Deku said. He smiled sadly. "I'm… actually glad that he's found some ground to stand on with his own two feet."

Bakugou pulled his lips to the side and lowered his brows. After a moment, he sighed and pulled out a glass, filling it with a shot of whiskey. He slid it over to Deku and threw a napkin at his face.

"Care to explain what you mean by that?" Bakugou asked.

Deku managed to catch the napkin before it fluttered to the floor, giving Bakugou an appreciative hum as he reached for the whiskey. He slammed the drink back in one go, his whole body shuddering.

"Uwah… Well, he's been told what to do basically his whole life," Deku said through a choked voice. He cleared his throat and swallowed, setting down his empty glass. "His dad was a major asshole. I don't know if he's ever told you about him."

Bakugou bit down the jealousy that bubbled in his stomach. He had to remind himself that he and Deku had known each other a whole lot longer. It was only inevitable that they would know more about each other.

"He… mentioned him," Bakugou said. "But that was all. Nothing specific."

"Ah, yeah… He doesn't like talking about it," Deku said, fiddling with his empty glass. "He was so abusive to his family. Hit Shouto every day, even up through high school, and some in college."

Bakugou's hands folded into tight fists. He wanted to find that Enji asshole and rip him a new one. How dare he even think about touching Todoroki like that.

"So, anyway. He was trying to coerce Shouto into working for him after high school, wanting him to go into business in college," Deku said. "He did, but he was miserable. So… I basically told him to tell his dad to go to hell. And, well… I guess that was enough for him to fall for me."

"Tch," Bakugou scoffed. He was thankful, though. He didn't know what would've happened to Todoroki if Deku hadn't told him that.

Deku scratched his cheek and tapped his empty glass. "Can I get another?"

Bakugou clicked his tongue but got a clean glass and filled it, sliding it back over to Deku once he was done. Deku downed it in one go once again.

"Ah, man! That's, uh… that's good stuff," Deku said in between coughs. He sighed and leaned against the counter more, his freckled cheeks turning pink.

Bakugou frowned, tapping his finger on the counter as he thought about Todoroki's shitty childhood. He thought about his kind, distant eyes…

"So, uh…" Bakugou began, unsure how to bring it up. "Is… that how he got the, uh… the scar? Over his eye?"

Deku looked up at him in surprise, and then his face turned sad and a bit timid.

"O-Oh, uh, well… no, he uh… not directly from his father," Deku said. "It was… a result of his father's abuse, definitely. But, uh… You know, you should hear it from him. I don't… want to go about spreading his past."

Bakugou grit his teeth, but he let it slide for now. Deku was already offering up enough information. And he definitely didn't want to dig into something without Todoroki's permission.

"Well, I really should've seen this divorce coming," Deku said sadly as he fiddled with his glass. "I shouldn't have led him on for so long."

Bakugou felt his hackles rise. "Then why did you?"

Deku frowned. "It wasn't intentional. I truly loved him at the beginning," he said. "But… as time went on, things just… changed. I saw him more as my brother than my lover, and it was just… so, so strange."

Deku's eyes shimmered as he tried to speak through it all, and Bakugou felt his heart do funny things. Was he really starting to feel sorry for this guy? Damn this guy and his stupid crying.

"I never meant to hurt him, Kacchan. You have to believe me on that," Deku said. "He was my best friend, and more than anything, I wanted what was best for him. But… I got caught up in my own selfish affairs that I didn't even notice how it was damaging our relationship."

He wiped his face on his sleeve and heaved in a breath, his chest quaking as the tears started coming in rivulets down his cheeks. He looked up at Bakugou, looking absolutely pitiful and apologetic.

"I'm really sorry, Kacchan. You have to believe me, I never meant to hurt anyone," Deku said. "Especially Shouto. Not my best friend." He covered his eyes with his hands. "What do I do now, Kacchan? I… I've hurt him and… I don't know how to make it better."

Bakugou poured another glass of whiskey and clacked it down in front of Deku and stared at him with a straight face.

"You're already doin' what's best for him," Bakugou said. "So that's how you're making it better."

Deku's eyes shimmered even more, fat tears falling down his cheeks. He hiccupped and reached for the whiskey, downing it and almost choking on it as he cried.

"Dammit, dumbass! Don't waste my product!" Bakugou said as he threw more napkins at Deku's face.

"I'm s-s-sorry, K-K-Kacchan!"

"You idiot! You're making a mess!"

Deku wiped off his face and looked up at Bakugou with a determined expression. He pointed at Bakugou, looking wild but yet very calm at the same time.

"You take good care of him, okay, Kacchan?" Deku said. "Take good care of Shouto."

Bakugou felt as if his stomach floated into his chest and tried to claw up his throat. He heaved out his breath and gave Deku an equally powerful stare.

"You've got nothin' to worry about."

The stars were sparkling in the night sky as Bakugou made his way home. He was left stunned into silence, his mind loud during his walk home.

He couldn't believe that Deku just came into his bar and spilled his guts to him. And he even apologized.

Well, Bakugou wasn't too surprised about that. Deku had always been that way. Always trying to make things right—it always pissed Bakugou off. But still. It was awfully mature of him to come back and face Bakugou head-on.

And not only that, but did Deku give him his blessing?!

"What the hell did you mean by that, dumbass?" Bakugou grumbled to himself. "Take care of him, what the shit…"

He pulled out his keys to unlock the door but was surprised to see that the door was already unlocked.

Ah, right. Todoroki was still here. But he usually locked the door, so what was going on?

"Todoroki?" Bakugou called as he entered. "You forgot to lock the door, idiot. Someone could've come in and kicked your ass."

"Mmn, yeah… Sorry."

Bakugou stopped in the living room and blinked at the scene before him.

Todoroki was slumped on the couch, a large bottle of liquor in his hand. It was empty save for a few swallows. The TV was playing some cheesy romance flick that he was pretty sure he and Todoroki watched and made fun of just a few weeks ago.

"Uh. What's going on here?" Bakugou asked, rounding the couch.

Todoroki flopped his head to the side to look up at him, his eyes widening just a tad but still glazed over from the high amount of alcohol that was currently surging through his veins.

"Oh. Well. I'm getting a divorce, so," Todoroki slurred, looking at the near-empty bottle. "I guess I'm… celebrating?"

Bakugou frowned. "You've been drinking."

"Yep," Todoroki said. He tilted the bottle back and downed more large gulps.

"Oi, quit that," Bakugou said, taking the bottle from him. "This'll make you sick, idiot!"

Todoroki pouted and tried to take the bottle back from him, but Bakugou held it out of reach.

"No! You freak! You'll destroy your liver!" Bakugou said.

Todoroki frowned at him, looking so incredibly cute with his pout. Bakugou wouldn't let him win, though, so he took the rest of the liquor and downed it himself. The feeling left him feeling buzzed and lightheaded, the muscles in his body instantly relaxing and leaving him feeling warm.

Once empty, he set the bottle down on the coffee table and plopped down next to Todoroki on the couch.

"So, what're we watchin'?" Bakugou asked, letting the alcohol wash over him like a warm wave.

"Mmn. I don't know. Some romance movie," Todoroki said, shuffling in close to Bakugou. "I think we've seen it before."

Bakugou's body broke out into warm tingles when he felt Todoroki press right up against him. He was so warm, dammit.

"Ah, yeah. This does look familiar," Bakugou managed to stammer through.

They leaned into each other as they watched the two stupid actors on the screen fall into bed with a passionate kiss. Bakugou swallowed. He had forgotten about this part. He felt Todoroki press harder against him, and his pants were suddenly tight.

Dammit.

He felt Todoroki lean up just slightly, his breath tickling Bakugou's ear.

"I… don't remember this part," Todoroki said, and suddenly his voice was so sultry.

Bakugou swallowed. "Um… yeah, I… Me either."

What the hell was happening to him? He felt hot all over.

The couple on the screen was really starting to get into it, clothes starting to fly apart as the kissing got deeper. They must've changed it to something different at this part, Bakugou thought. Or they just played on their phones and talked about life. Either way, they didn't watch this scene. Was it getting hot?

Suddenly, Bakugou felt a hand press on his thigh.

He nearly jumped out of his skin as he whipped his head to the side to look at Todoroki, who was staring up at him with glazed, alcohol-induced eyes.

"Hey, Bakugou…" Todoroki whispered. "You really… have taken such good care of me these past few weeks."

He leaned in closer, his lips only a fraction away from Bakugou's. Bakugou didn't dare move, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed.

"It's, uh… no big deal, really," Bakugou said.

Todoroki pressed his nose to Bakugou's cheek, leaning to press his lips to Bakugou's ear.

"You're really… great," he whispered. His lips finally made contact, pressing against Bakugou's cheek and making his way down his jaw. "So… amazing."

Bakugou's eyes fluttered closed as Todoroki's lips pressed to his.

He thought his chest would burst. He never imagined that this would happen to him—ever. Especially not this soon.

Ah… Wait.

"Bakugou…" Todoroki whispered, coaxing him to kiss back.

Bakugou's thoughts faded away as he melted into the kiss, deepening it as Todoroki moved to climb onto Bakugou's lap. Bakugou's hands scrambled to hold Todoroki by his waist, his hands feeling the muscles underneath his shirt.

"Todoroki," Bakugou whispered, looking up at him.

Todoroki didn't respond. Instead, he moved to straddle Bakugou, their lips finding each other again. Bakugou reached up and cupped Todoroki's cheeks, his thumb touching his scar.

"But, uh… You know, you should hear it from him. I don't… want to go about spreading his past."

Bakugou startled, his eyes snapping open to look at Todoroki. He pulled back from the kiss and looked at his face. The man's cheeks were red and he was swaying slightly. Bakugou had been a bartender long enough to know the different levels of drunkenness. And Todoroki, at this very moment, was very far-gone.

"Todoroki," Bakugou called, trying to get him to stop.

Todoroki didn't listen, however, and he grabbed Bakugou by his shoulders and pushed him down on the couch. He leaned back down and started kissing at Bakugou's neck, making the other man melt into the cushions.

Just let go, one part of Bakugou's brain told him. Let him take you right here.

"Yes," Bakugou said, reaching up to card his hand through Todoroki's soft locks. "Todoroki."

Todoroki responded with a groan, kissing back into Bakugou's mouth. They were all soft touches and kissing and melting and it was so heavenly and felt so right—

Suddenly, he felt his shirt lifting up, and warm hands were touching his abdomen, and then, they were slowly sliding down until they reached his belt. When the hands unbuckled the belt, Bakugou snapped his eyes open.

No, Bakugou thought. This wasn't right.

He didn't want to have Todoroki like this.

"Todoroki, stop," Bakugou said, grabbing Todoroki by the shoulders and pushing him back. Todoroki looked a bit stunned at the action, his lips reddened and swollen. "I don't… I can't be like this with you."

Todoroki's face morphed into an expression of hurt. "What? What're you talking about?" he asked. "I'm done with Izuku. I can be with you now. Don't you like me, Bakugou?"

Bakugou's heart hurt.

"Of course, I like you, Todoroki," Bakugou said. "I want you more than anything, but…" He winced and closed his eyes, bracing himself. He couldn't believe he was doing this. He looked back up at Todoroki when he was ready. "I don't want to be your rebound, Shouto. I… love you. But I… I can't do this unless you love me back."

Todoroki frowned, his brows furrowing as he tried to understand. He looked down at Bakugou's chest, looking completely defeated.

"You need time to heal, Shouto. And I don't want to be used for you to heal," Bakugou said. "I'll be by your side until you do, though, alright? I'm not abandoning you here. You've just gotta… give yourself time." He paused, rubbing his hands up and down Todoroki's shoulders. "And when the time is right, and you feel like you truly do like me… then we can talk. Got it?"

Todoroki grimaced and then nodded, quickly moving to get off of Bakugou's lap. Bakugou sat up and buckled his pants, trying to adjust himself along the way.

"I'm sorry," Todoroki apologized, his blush reaching all the way up to his ears. "I… I didn't mean to—"

"It's fine," Bakugou said, standing up. He ruffled Todoroki's hair as he passed by him. "C'mon. Let's get some rest, alright? We can talk more in the morning."

Bakugou continued to the bedroom and got ready for bed as quickly as possible, trying to cool himself down. He could still taste Todoroki on his lips, the taste sweet and so, so warm.

He crawled into bed and threw the covers over himself, waiting to hear the telltale footsteps of Todoroki coming to bed.

But they never came.

The next morning, Bakugou woke and found the futon on the floor next to his bed still empty from the night before.

His heart gave an unpleasant jolt in his chest and he scrambled out of bed, hurrying out to the living room.

"Shouto!" Bakugou called, feeling his voice getting a little frantic. "Shouto, where—"

"Bakugou?"

Bakugou jumped and turned towards the front door, seeing Todoroki standing with a packed bag in his hand. One of his hands was lifted in a small wave, but it quickly moved to scratch his cheek, and his eyes looked away.

"Shouto…" Bakugou said, moving close to him. "You… What are you doing?"

Todoroki rubbed the back of his neck and then sighed, gesturing towards the living room with his bag.

"Last night, I… did things I shouldn't have," Todoroki said slowly. "And I realized that I've been depending on you for everything. Including my emotional needs."

Bakugou frowned at the bag in his hand. "So you're leaving?"

Todoroki's face turned sad. "Yeah."

Bakugou could understand that. He didn't blame Todoroki for leaving, but boy, the pain of not being able to see his face every day would hurt like hell.

He hated this. He hated this.

But he knew it had to be done.

"Will I see you again?" Bakugou asked, trying to remain casual as he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants.

"Yes," Todoroki answered immediately. "I definitely want to see you again."

Whether it be as a lover or just a friend, Bakugou wasn't sure. He decided not to ask.

"Well. I guess you'll have to teach your own ass how to cook," Bakugou said. "And lock your freaking door, you dumbass! Do you want to get robbed?"

Todoroki huffed and managed a smile. "I will miss that," he said. He walked up to Bakugou and kissed him gently on his cheek. "I will miss you."

Bakugou's cheeks flushed, his eyes stinging. He looked away from Todoroki and hunched in on himself.

"Well. You have my number. And you know where I live and work, so…" Bakugou said, shrugging. "Just… stop by, will ya?"

Todoroki nodded and leaned in to hug him, squeezing him in his arms.

"I definitely will," he said.

Bakugou reluctantly returned the hug, giving one final squeeze to memorize how he felt and smelled before he quite possibly disappeared forever.

After what felt like the world's quickest embrace, they separated, Todoroki's hand lingering in Bakugou's for a moment before he let go and left his apartment. The door shut, and just like that, Todoroki was gone.

The silence was deafening. Bakugou's pained heart was roaring far too loudly in his ears. He hated this. He couldn't take it. He reached for his phone and quickly dialed up one of the contacts on his phone. It only rang twice before a cheery voice sounded on the other line.

"Yo, bro! How's it goin'?"

"Kirishima," Bakugou breathed seriously. "You got any plans today?"

"Oh, uh… No, I don't. Why? You okay?"

Bakugou tried to swallow the lump in his throat but it refused to budge, and he felt a tear fall down his cheek.

"I… need to talk."