A/N: Hey guys, this is the last one in my triple update today! Hope it gives you a little break from the chaos out there!
Enjoy!
It was late at the Grey house, when Cassie had finally shooed Martha Tinsdale away, though the older woman, the erstwhile Mayor of Middleton had actually provided a clue about the stranger sleeping upstairs.
Meredith Grey was the daughter-in-law of one Carolyn Shepherd, or rather Carolyn Maloney… who'd married one Michael Shepherd, in this very house ages ago. It had been a surprising, yet welcome bit of news, something for Cassie to mull over the next time she encountered the new widow. She finished the last of her cleaning duties, folding up a throw that was draped over the chaise. Dusting her hands, she picked up a novel she'd been trying to finish and curled up to read.
Sometime later she looked up to see Grace.
"Hey mom," Grace said, ambling in to sit beside her.
"Hey. Done your homework?"
Grace sighed. "Taking a break." she said. "How's Meredith?" she asked.
Good question. She drifted back to the moment Meredith had returned from the creek.
Cassie was cleaning the last bit of JELLO from her dessert cups, when Meredith walked in from the kitchen door. "Hey, George put the rod and the um, fishing stuff in the garage."
"Okay," Cassie said.
"I think this is yours," she handed Cassie the Shepherd figurine.
She made no move to take it. "It's not mine. It's Derek's." Cassie said.
"Oh." Meredith stared at the piece, and then set it on the kitchen table almost as if she was in pain.
Cassie gauged Meredith carefully. She wanted to offer comfort, but Meredith was a hard person to read. And her 'second sight' offered no intuition on Meredith's experience at the bridge.
"Did you ever see him?" Meredith asked abruptly. "Your husband?"
Cassie put down her dishtowel. "We all experience grief in a different way. I've had visions. Sometimes I just… feel him. I know Jake's always there."
"I saw Derek. We fished. It was…" she stopped. Her lips turning into a frown,
Meredith spread her hand out on the counter and stared at her fingers.
Cassie reached, covering Meredith's cold hand with her own. "Meredith, he is always going to be there… and you know what? I think that's okay."
Meredith shook her head. "I don't know. I lost him once. Seeing him again- it's like I keep losing him. Again and again." She wiped a tear from her face and inhaled a shaky breath. "The kids?"
"They were great. They discovered a new way to enjoy Jello, and they drew some pictures." Cassie slid their latest creations over. Zola's looked particularly fun.
"Thanks.
They're good kids."
Meredith sighed. "They are. I don't know where I'd be without them." She picked up the pictures, "they're upstairs?"
"I think Grace is reading them a story."
Meredith nodded and trudged slowly to the stairs.
"Meredith?" Cassie called. She stopped, her foot on the first stair. "Maybe he's gone from this world… But you haven't lost him."
Meredith Cassie acknowledged with a slight nod, and then turned back to the stairs.
xxx
"Mom?"
Cassie blinked back to the present, smiling when she saw her daughter's face. "When your dad died… I saw him sometimes. Just… like in the morning when I woke up, I he'd be there with me in bed, for a few moments. Or sometimes, at the shop, the bell would ring, and I would turn and see him enter." She shrugged. "I would blink, and he'd be gone. Did you ever see him?"
Grace nodded. "Once or twice, right after he died. I had really real dreams, where we'd just talk…"
"Did you feel… lost? Or really sad after you saw him.?"
Grace frowned, thinking. "Maybe for a minute, I missed him… but then… I was glad he was okay. He was with me."
"Yeah. Me too."
"I still miss him."
Cassie smiled. "Me too."
"You're worried about her."
What if she runs again? Cassie wondered. How could she help her."She ran. From her home, her world, from him." Cassie said.
But Grace shook her head. "Mom, I don't think she did."
xxx
Meredith lay in bed, Zola and Bailey snuggled up to her on each side. She was tired, exhausted, really, but she couldn't sleep. Her head buzzed with thoughts of her kids, of Derek, home, and strangely, of fishing
She stared at the Post-it on the nightstand she'd unpacked.
That moment in the Resident's lounge when Derek scribbled out their vows on Cristina's Post-it had been the best moment of her entire life.
He cupped her cheeks. "You have a piece of paper?"
"For what?"
Derek's eyes darkened with determination."I want to be with you forever, and you want to be with me forever. And in order to do that, we need to make vows. A commitment. A contract. Give me a piece of paper," he quietly ordered.
"I don't-" Meredith searched her pockets, flustered. "I-i-i don't-" Her fingers wrapped around Cristina's book of post-its. "I have post-its!" She slapped them and Cristina's favorite blue pen into his palm.
"Okay," Derek sat down. Sighing, he looked up at her, eyes all Mcdreamy. "What do we want to promise each other?"
The world around her seemed to fade with that question. What did she want? And what could she give in return? She loved him.
But this was forever…
"That you'll love me. Even when you hate me," she said.
Derek grinned. "To love each other even when we hate each other," he repeated, writing it down. "No running. Ever," he added.
Meredith came to sit by him, smiling. She was reminded of his drunken night at the trailer and the baseball bat. It hadn't broken them. They were still here.
"Nobody walks out no matter what happens," he declared.
"No running."
Derek scribbled on the pad. "What else?"
Well, there was the obvious. "That we'll take care of each other, even when we're old and smelly and senile. And... if I get Alzheimer's... and forget you-"
"-I will remind you, who I am, every day." Derek stated quickly. Meredith couldn't contain the joy that erupted at his words. He really wanted to be with her. Even old Alzheimer-y Meredith.
Derek looked back down at the post-it, writing. "To take care when old, 'senile-'" he eyed her. "Smelly. This... is... forever."
He scrawled his familiar Hancock and thrust the post- it and pen to her. "Sign."
The paper in her hands, Meredith melted. "This is our wedding," she said. "A post-it?" There was no music, flowers, or bridesmaids. No priest or church. Not even a bouquet of scalpels. But there was the most important part. The only part. Their vows to each other.
"Mm-hmm. If you sign it."
Meredith grinned, taking the small blue pad from him. Over Derek's signature was an empty line.
The pen flashed with a flourish as she signed.
Married.
Forever.
"Then what?" she teased.
"Now I kiss the bride." He pulled her in. His breath tickled her. He captured her lips in his and lingered. Nerve endings flared, warmth spread throughout her body and her brain fuzzed. Could she stay here endlessly? In this kiss?
Only as long as she could breathe, apparently. Derek pulled away, but the soft dreaminess in his eyes told her he hadn't really left that kiss either.
"Married," she panted.
"Married."
A loose tear dripped down her cheek as she looked down at the post-it.
What was she doing here? Why did she-? She left. Like her mother. Now she was freaking pregnant. How would she do it? She pressed her womb. Meredith's throat constricted as she huffed and gasped for air as the possibility of having another miscarriage floated in her mind... "Oh God, Derek, why did you leave me? Why did you-" She was cleaved in half. Severed. Cut off from the one part that made her more than whole. Made her extraordinary. She clutched the broken frame to her chest. "What do I do?"
She looked at the post-it again.
No Running.
Was she running now? Was that what this was?
Meredith didn't know, and she didn't want to think about it. Carefully, she extricated herself from her snoring kids, hoping they wouldn't waken. Trudging to the kitchen, she jumped when a light flicked on. "Oh, you scared me!" she said when Cassie revealed herself.
"Couldn't sleep?"
Meredith pulled up to the counter and rested her head on folded arms. "My brain won't turn off."
"I'll make you some tea," she said.
"Thanks," Meredith said. Then she furrowed her brows. "It's midnight. What are you doing up?"
Cassie smiled mysteriously. "Waiting for a guest," she said.
"Oh."
"Actually, I'm glad you're up." Cassie said. "My friend Martha was here. We were chatting, and… I don't know if you know this, but your husband had family here."
"What?"
Cassie walked to her desk and retrieved a yellowed newspaper clipping. "Martha's husband is a town history buff. I mentioned Derek Shepherd to her yesterday and… well, here."
Meredith stared at the clipping. Those sharp eyes, that smile... that was definitely Carolyn Shepherd. And next to her was a man who looked way too much like Derek. They were married here? Here here? And now she was here? What did this all mean?
"Meredith?" Cassie asked, stepping closer.
"I um uh..." she cleared her throat. She couldn't help but feel a little trapped by these well meaning people. By this strange place. By Derek being everywhere, all the time.
"His parents were married here," Cassie said. "By all accounts, his dad grew up here. Martha said Derek came and visited a few times as a kid. And… Meredith, he's been here more than once over the last few years."
He what? Meredith blinked.
"You can't leave Middleton without letting it help you. Let Derek help you," Cassie urged. Meredith shook her head slowly. No running? She couldn't go anywhere... he was everywhere. There was Derek all around her. What did it mean?
Meredith bolted out of the seat, nearly toppling it over. She couldn't take it anymore. It was too much. Really too much. Too much magic or coincidences or whatever…
Maybe it was time to go home.
She strode swiftly through the kitchen into the foyer and- Bam! She stumbled back, barely regaining her balance before seeing the other woman.
"Good Lord! Watch where you're- Meredith?"
Carolyn? Seriously?
Now she knew the universe was out to get her for real this time. Dizzy, she spun around, pushing Cassie away and bolting for the back door. She had to get out of here. This place… this place was-
She ran out into the darkness, crashing into the woods and forgetting everything behind her.
A/N: I'm gonna leave it there for now. Take care Everybody! More to come soon! Please review and check out Save Me and In My Dreams II too!