Chapter 12

Mayori was nervous like he'd never been before. He couldn't remember if he normally bowed that low for her, but it probably was the best if he wanted to avoid her wrath. The shinobi felt the sweat running down his back, partly from his frantic search all around the village, partly from the anticipation he felt during the moment. Surely, she was going to have his hide for this.

But it's not like it could've been his fault, right? He wasn't at his home, so where else would he be? He had searched the entire village, twice. It was only logical really. If the copy ninja didn't want to be found, then he wasn't going to be found.

"So," the blonde woman began in her commanding tone, "your report?"

Mayori gulped, he was dead for sure.

If that was even possible, the young shinobi with messy black hair bowed his head even lower, stuttering. "I-I'm terribly sorry Hokage-sama, but I was unable to find Kakashi Hatake." From the periphery of his vision, Mayori noted one of her raising eyebrows. His heart beating faster, he wondered why the crap he had taken that morning was among one of the life memories that started flashing before his eyes. "I swear I looked everywhere Lady Tsunade, yet I found no trace of him." Shaking in his sandals the young man pathetically blurted out an apology afterwards.

Tsunade's response was to simply close her eyes and shake her head in disapproval. These youngins still had a long way to go. "Of course you didn't find him..." she began, "you didn't look in the right place."

A look of confusion started to dominate Mayori's features, as what she had told him just then was some sort of riddle. Maybe the sort that getting the answer correctly was what his life depended on. But the legendary sannin surprised him once again as she let out a sigh and got up from her seat.

"Leave," she said calmly, "you are dismissed."

"H-hai Hokage-sama!" He promptly answered her, not wanting to spend a single second more in her presence. Equally confused as he was relieved by her unusual display of mercy, Mayori left his superior to her own devices. Maybe he could still catch one of his buddies and relax a bit from the traumatic experience that was looking death in the eye.

Meanwhile, Tsunade's vigilant gaze inspected the village before her. Strangely, she felt some delight at the young shinobi's incompetence. He had unawarely given her a good excuse to leave the hellhole that was her office. A smile made its way onto her lips. How was her annoying assistant going to scold her for not doing her 'work' if she was technically doing it?

She was sure that he knew that there would be no other choice. What she was going to do, for their sake, was to simply give him a proper nudge. After putting some things on her table away, namely the bottle of sake she'd hid behind a large stack of papers, the woman in high heels walked out the door and shunshined out of there.

Kakashi could run all he wanted, he was not getting away from his responsabilities to this village.

***XII***

The jounin stood there facing the monument as he often did. The kunai-shaped rock with several names engraved on its surface enjoyed the man's presence with its usual stoney silence. So frequent were his visits there, that one could mistake him for being a part of the scenery. Though he began to consider that he ought to visit other places, the shinobi simply couldn't help himself, there was no other spot where he was able to clear his head.

Fidgeting with the object inside his left pocket, Kakashi's uncovered eye fixed itself on one out of the many names etched on the stone. He pondered over his words before beginning.

"It doesn't look like they are going to give me a choice." He spoke as if the rock could hear him. The tall masked man thought that it was best not to dwell on the fact that the one he turned towards the most was a silent ghost in his imagination. At least it made for a good listener. A muffled sigh escaped from his lips. "They don't understand, do they?"

He then produced the forehead protector from his pocket, part of the neat red fabric escaping from his grip.

"Too bad no one told me that being a ninja was an impossible game to win; or that the ones closest to me would always suffer the most. Some, who hold a grudge against me for not being there enough;" he continued with a serious yet tired expression, picturing a blond boy he'd so utterly failed. Kakashi closed his eyes as the image shifted into a pinkette in a wheelchair, "and some, who tried to give me so much, only to lose everything."

The Hatake felt the soft fabric and the cold smooth metal on his hand. The materialization of his failure. He untied the knot of his own protector leaving his Sharingan exposed. He contemplated over both the items he was holding for a moment before shifting his distant gaze on the memorial once more.

"I don't want to cause any more pain here." His voice came calmly. "I can't live with that burden any longer. So it's time for me to tell them..." he put the protectors in his pocket, "Farewell."

There was a period of silence between them. A gentle breeze blew past him, ruffling his hair in the process.

"What do you think?" He muttered.

"I think that's one of the worst possible choices you could ever make." Kakashi barely turned his head back at the voice. From the corner of his normal eye, the forlorn ninja saw the familiar face of the legendary sannin walking towards him. He couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the flower bouquet she brought along. Perhaps he ought to show her deference due to her superior rank, yet found no reason inside him to compel him to.

He simply stepped to the side and let her pass through. Tsunade kneeled in front of the memorial and gently placed the flowers on its step. She stood up and muttered a silent prayer. Her presence didn't feel as welcome, there was this sensation that he was invading one of her personal moments and vice-versa. Yet the blonde seemed unbothered by it, treating him almost as if he didn't exist.

Kakashi exhaled, his Sharingan still left uncovered.

The Hokage finally seemed to take notice of the jounin. "How many that you were personal with are on there?" She asked without taking her eyes of the rock, referring, of course, to the many names etched on the stone's surface

"That I was really close with?" Kakashi closed his eyes for a moment, as if to consider a correct answer. So much death surrounded him, how could he possibly tell? Yet his memory was able to focus on some people that were very special for him. A blond sensei, a determined kunoichi and... "Three."

"Oh really?" Turning her look towards him, the brown-eyed woman asked slightly surprised. "What a coincidence, three is my number as well."

His eyebrows raised at her statement. The copy ninja silently wondered who they could be as he covered his left eye with his protector.

"So what do you plan on doing?" She continued, not giving him the chance to take a guess. "Living out the rest of your life as a hermit and reading those terrible books of Jiraiya?"

Kakashi normally wouldn't dare make such comment (which would be suicidal given the person he was talking to), yet he felt particularly emboldened by the hopelessness of his depressed state. "Would you recommend gambling and getting drunk instead?"

The blonde stared at him and, for a moment, the jounin thought that that was going to be the end of him. But, to his surprise, her expression softened and she even let herself give a small chuckle. "I do suppose that it's more expensive and worse for the liver." She joked before continuing. "I've spent so much of my life running away. You should at least take an old woman's advice. You have a real gift Kakashi, and you are wasting it all by making the same mistake that I once did."

"The only gift I seem to have is to let people down." The dispirited Hatake replied. The mask covered some of his expression, but he still made an effort to look as pleading as possible as he asked her. "Please don't ask of me to take them, this can only end one way." Terrible memories of his past experience coursed through his head.

"I bet you'll be letting your old subordinates down if you don't." She was known as the legendary sucker, but about the outcome of this gamble she was sure. "Just give them a chance. If at the end of it, you don't think they're worth it, I'll allow you to fail them." Tsunade turned and started to make her way back to her dreaded office. "You should hurry up though, they are waiting."

The silver-haired jounin could only sigh, he was definetely going to be late.

***XII***

The walk towards his destination was being made slowly. Although he was ordered to, Kakashi decided against hurrying. There was still much to sort out inside his head. Reading his little book, the veteran ruminated over what she had said. Would they be more disappointed on him if he didn't go through with that? It only seemed logical to blame all this mess on him. Repeating the same mistake could only lead to making things worse. The jounin wasn't sure if he could actually bear letting them down once again. His mind was so preoccupied that he had to reread some of the page he was on. It was in this distracted state that he able to be caught by surprise by that voice.

"Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi froze for a second, the hairs on his back sticking up in absolute terror. A small drop of sweat running down his temple, he spoke with the most natural tone he could come up with. "Oh, hi Sakura."

"Hi." The girl with pink hair timidly replied. The copy ninja was not sure if his old pupil was able to tell the fakeness in his tone. Regardless, none of them seemed to feel too comfortable in each other's presence, as evidenced by the seemingly dragged out moment where no one dared say anything. As both of them attempted to think of something to utter, Kakashi's uncovered eye studied the wheelchair bound teenager while her look tried to avoid his, which would rather focus on the small flower that grew through a crack on the stone pavement.

"Uhm, everything alright?" He asked, not bearing the silence between them anymore and earning the pinkette's attention.

"Y-yeah, just wasn't expecting bumping into you haha." Nervously scratching the back of her head, Sakura stuttered.

"Well, I suppose this isn't the path I normally use to take." He said thoughtfully. And there were reasons why he usually didn't, the awkwardness of the moment being one of them.

The petite Haruno dumbly replied with an 'oh', feeling a bit stupid for not having assumed such.

It's not like they hadn't met one another after the... 'incident' with Sasuke. But encounters such as these were uncommon, all of them incredibly awkward with phrases such as 'nice weather, isn't it?'. Yet just because they barely treated each other as if they were more than just acquaintances, it didn't mean that he hadn't kept an eye on her. As Kakashi knew her routine as closely as his own, often following and watching her from a distance, always making sure that she wouldn't notice. It would certainly look bad that a man who'd just recently gotten on his thirties had been stalking a teenage girl. But it was part of keeping the promise he'd made those couple years ago to watch over her.

He knew of many things in her life, like how she used to take this same path when she woke up early, or the clothes she would usually wear when she went to work or when she'd go out with...

Kakashi barely contained a sigh, he was not sure if he should feel relieved or disappointed that another of their conversations wouldn't make into the eigth phrase. But he was certainly eager to get out of there. "I guess I'll see you around then?"

Sakura nodded, veering her look to the right again. The young cripple seemed to be considering something. As if having mustered enough courage, she called after him. "Uhm, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Yes?" The shinobi responded, turning his head.

She hesitated, feeling a bit guilty and unsure of how he would react. "If it's not too much trouble, could you please, ermm... help me get to the park?"

Although not quite what he expected, he guessed that this would be his only chance of getting a clue about what he should do. Besides, it wasn't like he really had a real choice on the matter

"It's no trouble at all." He said, closing his book and giving her a soothing expression behind his masked face.

***XII***

Their trip was largely uneventful, none of them talking much. Kakashi's heart would sometimes sink as he felt the handle of the wheelchair underneath his grip. He tried to ignore it to the best of his ability, dismissing it as him simply being too anxious again. As they moved through, the streets started to get crowded with the morning business of the villagers. But the movement died down rather quickly as they neared the park's entrance.

Appreciating the more serene atmosphere, Sakura noticed the familiar trees and park benches on the path that her sensei was pushing her through. She turned her look towards a spot and pointed at it. "You can park me there."

Kakashi nodded, his expectations proving right. She always chose that spot, though he was unsure why. The jounin carefully positioned her next to one of the stone benches. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah, it's perfect." She told him sincerely.

"Alright then." He replied, getting ready to leave her there. "I suppose I'll be go-" Kakashi interrupted himself as he noticed a subtle change in her expression. She seemed dejected if not apprehensive, almost as if she was hoping something else from him. It was then that the realization hit him like a rock, he was running away once again. Turning towards her, he indicated to the rustic stone bench. "Actually, would you mind if I sat there?"

"Wha-? I mean, not at all!" She said with surprise and even some excitement in her voice. Sakura could feel her face lightening up. Her smile, genuine, different from the one she used to adorn when getting herself ready in front of that dreaded mirror. There was a nice feeling in her chest. Though she was unsure why his company made her feel that happy, she treasured it either way.

A couple moments passed with Kakashi making himself comfortable on his seat. The masked jounin and the pink-haired teenager both appreciated the nature around them. Different from the village's busy streets and the dangerous forest that surrounded Konohagakure, the park was soothing and gentle. Another one of those usual silences had settled in. Though it seemed as if it was a nice addition to the general atmosphere. Yet Sakura, fidgeting with the fabric of her dress like a nervous child, still wanted something else other than that. The girl would open her mouth as if to say something, only to interrupt herself and close it again. She simply had no idea what to talk to him about, almost as if she had forgotten on how to start a conversation with someone. An embarassing reflection of her poor social skills.

"So how have you been doing?" She was caught by surprise as she heard his voice cut through the silence.

"I've been doing fine." The girl said almost too quickly. Still fidgeting with her dress, the petite hurriedly thought of something to add as if to keep their talk going. "The shop's been doing good too, lot of people coming this season. Sometimes I even have to force Ino out of there."

"That's great." Kakashi simply replied with a chuckle, which earned a smile from the pink-haired civilian who was glad of not becoming a complete klutz with people. "And your mother?"

"She's doing fine too!" Sakura responded enthusiastically. "Always going to her friends' to bake and chat about stuff." Though she was fine with it, it was kinda embarassing that her mom had a better social life than she had.

"Alright." The shinobi nodded his head. The Hatake went quiet for a moment as he carefully considered before continuing. "And what about uhmm...?"

"Oh." The girl spoke as she saw his eyes indicating to her legs. "Yeah, I've gotten used to it. It's just that I... ermm..." The pinkette let out a sigh. Her hands stopped with their fidgeting and rested on top of her lap. Sakura leaned her head back, her jade pupils searching the sky for a good answer. It was not as if she was annoyed, it was just that she normally didn't talk about this subject. But then again, it was not as if she talked to many people since she became paralyzed from the waist down anyway. The teenager decided to be honest. "I mean, my mom always says there's no use in thinking about what could be. She says that I shouldn't complain about my condition. That I should be thankful for the good things I still got and to move on. I know she's right; but sometimes..." She paused for a second, the silver-haired man hearing her attentively.

"Sometimes I keep wondering, you know?" Her gaze pointed to a spot on the ground.

Kakashi's eyes widened in response. His discovery shocking him as if a violent lightning bolt fell down on his head. Sakura did not come there to wander, but rather to mourn.

That spot, that was the place where it all happened.

It took all his training and experience as a shinobi to not break down in front of her due to his overwhelming guilt.

"I'm-" He interrupted himself, not sure if he had choked or not. "I'm so sorry Sakura."

Sakura turned towards the silver-haired jounin. "Hum? What?" She asked in a confused tone, but soon understood what he'd meant to say. "Oh, nonono." The girl quickly tried to clarify. "I don't blame you sensei. Never did."

This time it was Kakashi's turn to be confused. How could she not blame him for what happened when he was the one who had not only been negligent towards her training, but also dumped all of his responsabilities on her?

"I mean look," as if she could hear his thoughts, the teenager began to explain, "even then I was always so weak and useless. In almost all of the fights our team got into, I either had to stay back so I wouldn't get on the way of you guys, or, worse, needed to be protected. I was a terrible kunoichi and it was obvious that I was never cut out for it." There was a pause before she sighed. "Just wished I had known it sooner."

The Hatake's eyes widened in disbelief, how could she think so low of herself like that? He couldn't help but be astonished by the fact that that teenager right next to him was nothing like the self-assured girl he'd known from their days as a team. Kakashi regained his composure and replied with a dead serious tone. "Sakura, listen. I don't care, alright? If anybody else took your place, even the shodaime himself. The fact is that, without you, our team would've fallen apart much sooner." The shinobi paused briefly as if to let that statement sink in. "You were a great kunoichi, don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise."

The pinkette displayed surprise after he concluded. He seemed to be speaking genuinely, yet she couldn't bring herself to actually believe him. A tirade of negative thoughts about herself surged inside her head. Picking apart every point her ex-sensei had made. Sakura simply knew better, she was just as responsible as Sasuke had been for destroying their team. The wheelchair bound teen made an effort to push that guilt and regret back into depths of her subconsciousness and humbly thanked the ninja for thinking that about her. Strangely enough, she could swear she heard the rattling of chains somewhere behind her.

Yet Kakashi distracted her for inquiring further about it by continuing. "Look, there is something that I've been wanting to return to you."

Sakura's eyes widened at the item that he produced from one of his pockets. It couldn't be...

"Is this...?" She began. The jounin simply nodded in response.

"I've been shining it everyday since I've found it." The Hatake proceeded to add. "I obviously didn't do as great of a job as you woul-" He interrupted himself as the girl, almost reluctantly, took it from his hands. The red fabric was soft to the touch whilst the metal was hard in contrast. It'd been too long since she last saw it. Embarrassedly, Sakura felt tears forming behind her eyes. The shinobi averted his gaze, cursing himself. How foolish of him to believe that that was an appropriate time to-

"I guess there's no running away from your past." Her soft voice cut off his thoughts. "Thank you, Kakashi-sensei."

"It's nothing." He said while letting out a massive sigh of relief on the inside. He saw her tieing her protector above her head as a hairband like she used to.

Smiling and turning to him, the teenager asked. "So, how do I look?"

Kakashi felt his lips curl into a smile underneath his mask. "Like a true kunoichi."

She chuckled at his response, and he felt his smile turn into a grin, his uncovered eye slightly closing.

His chest feeling lighter for some reason, the ninja stated. "This place is so calm, I should come here more often." As if realizing what that would entail he quickly added. "If you'd want it of course."

Sakura replied with a huge smile, excited by the prospect of having some company. "I'd love for you to come!"

She wasn't quite sure, but she guessed that, underneath that mask, the silver-haired shinobi also smiled in response. A couple of moments passed with neither daring to break the quiet between them. As it dragged on, Sakura considered Kakashi for a moment. It wasn't as if she didn't appreciate what he was doing for her, but there was something in the back of her mind that simply wouldn't leave her alone. The girl felt a bit guilty for having those sorts of doubts about her ex-sensei. However, considering how he apparently felt about her...

She knew she shouldn't ask him that, but the curiosity was just too much. Gathering enough courage to speak, Sakura asked. "Uhmmm... Kakashi-sensei, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, Sakura." The shinobi replied, oblivious of what was coming.

"Have you been avoiding me?"

Yes.

"No." He lied. "It's just that I guess that our paths don't usually cross much." Kakashi felt a drop of sweat running down the back of his neck. He really hoped that his many years of experience in deception would be able to deceive his ex-pupil.

"Yeah, I guess." Though he was not sure if she had bought it or not, the ninja was barely able to contain a sigh of relief. "Speaking of which," she kept on, "where were you going when I found you?"

"I was uhhmm..." That was it, no more running away from the truth. Kakashi sighed, as if telling her took a physical toll on his body. "I was assigned to lead a new team of genin, I'm supposed to see an test them today."

"Oh." The pinkette replied. The jounin wasn't sure what she thought about the fact that Naruto and her were effectively being replaced, definitely nothing good. But before he could've said anything however, the teenage girl continued. "Wait a second then, are you telling me that you've been keeping them waiting this whole time you were talking to me?"

Kakashi scratched the back of his head, a little bit confused. "Errmm, yes?"

"Goddamit sensei, you will never change will you?" The cripple spoke, barely containing a chuckle at his severe lack of punctuality.

"I'm sorry?" The Hatake responded a bit unsure.

"What are you talking about? It's not to me you should be apologizing to, just go and meet them already!" Sakura exclaimed, a smile on her face.

As if she was his superior, the shinobi got out of his seat and started to sprang into action. "Right!"

"And Kakashi-sensei?" The petite Haruno called before he was gone.

"Yes?" He turned.

"Try not to be late next time, alright?"

Kakashi fully understood what she'd meant to say.

"I will." The veteran shinobi promised, a smile forming underneath his mask as he darted through the trees as fast as he could, any doubts desintegrating from his mind.

This time he was going to try his best.