The Tatterdemalion

Chaptr. 13 – A New Morning

A/N … Well yay, I'm snowed in! So that means I was able to finish this chapter and will immediately start on the next, which may well be the last! I hope you are still enjoying this story…

Sheppard lay gazing at the mesmerising flames in the fire Girvan had stoked up beautifully. It would be so easy to just continue doing so, but he had decided this morning was the time to build up his strength; it had declined drastically and he grew annoyed at himself when he couldn't even hold his cup without his hands shaking and walking outside to relieve himself in the outside toilet was an exercise in itself and took forever with his feet shuffling as they made their way there and back. So he threw back the heavy blankets and shifted about on the couch that had been his bed for so many weeks until his legs were over the side and he braced himself for the move to standing, hoping he would not be dizzy. A couple of haphazard attempts and Sheppard finally made it all the way up by himself and feeling ok for it, allowed a self-indulgent smile to creep on his face.

Girvan was outside and from the thudding noises it sounded like the young lad was chopping up more wood for the ever present fire. Sheppard would always remember the bravery and kindness of the young lad and knew that he would have died if it had not been for his care. Looking about him, Sheppard failed to see his cloak that he put on to keep warm when he had to go outside, so he wrapped one of the blankets over his shoulders, grimacing slightly when he realised he felt like an old man in doing so. All he needed were the plaid slippers and a pipe and he was all set.

Shoving his bare feet into his boots without lacing them up, Sheppard took one step unaided but swaying like a tight rope walker. He soon felt stronger and took two more to follow up and he knew he could make it to the door without collapsing against the chairs and table on the way. He was wearing the scrubs he had worn under his clothes when he had escaped and he thought that even though they had been perfect to wear whilst in bed, he would take great delight in throwing them in the raging fire one day and watch them burn; they were a visual reminder of his captive time he didn't want to keep seeing.

The door handle in his hand and Sheppard opened it to the outside world and when a blast of cold air hit him, he almost closed again, but resolved, he stepped outside, but bunched his blanket closer to his body.

After relieving himself in the cold wooden room on shaky legs, he didn't weaken his resolve and followed the sound of the axe to where Girvan was steadily working his way through a pile of large logs, breaking them down to smaller, more manageable sizes. Girvan was in mid swing when he spied Sheppard looking at him. He let the axe slam into the wood and ran towards him, a worried look on his face.

"Sheppard…whoa, what are you doing up without me?" As he reached the porch he went to hold onto his elbow but Sheppard pulled his arm back and instead reached out and grabbed his upper left arm, giving it a little squeeze.

"I'm fine Girvan, you don't need to worry."

Girvan cocked his head to the side, quickly evaluating if he did need his help or not and for a moment it was stalemate between the two, but a broad grin slowly appeared on Girvan's face and he slapped Sheppard's arm in what he considered was a grown up gesture to do to him back.

"I am pleased to see you up and about Colonel. How do you feel now that you are?"

"Good…I'm good. Thanks to you, but I think I better go in now. These scrubs are not enough to keep out the cold."

"Oh my goodness, you are right, what was I thinking, keeping you talking out here where you could catch a cold on top of everything else you have had to go through. Move! Come on, inside with you!"

Sheppard smiled but shook of his arm which once again reached for his elbow, but did agree with him that he had to go back inside so made his way on slightly stronger legs he felt.

Girvan followed closely behind him and after they both entered the cosy cabin, he headed straight for the fire and swung the kettle on it to make tea to warm them both up.

Sheppard lowered himself into one of the fireside chairs and relished the fact he was sitting upright for once but his short trip had been enough for the moment and he put his head back and closed his eyes. On feeling a blanket land gently on his knees he opened them quickly.

"Sorry I thought I was being quiet." Girvan grimaced.

"I wasn't sleeping."

Girvan then busied himself about getting the tea brewed and cut a couple of slices of bread which he buttered and put on the table between the two chairs at the fire. He occasionally glanced at Sheppard but he remained quiet, just content to watch him get the breakfast ready.

Sheppard, whilst watching Girvan, realised he knew little about him, other than Bartok was his uncle.

"Do you normally live with your parents Girvan?"

Girvan paused for only a few moments but it was enough for Sheppard to know that he had said something that obviously touched the boy.

"No. They are dead. I live with my other aunt and uncle. Others take me in occasionally too." He looked at Sheppard as he put his steaming hot cup down beside him. "I think I annoy a lot of people, they say I am too much of a handful."

"What?" Sheppard was truly horrified.

"It's true, I used to be on the go constantly. "Never sits still for one minute!" they used to say."

"Oh I see, I get it. Well I, for, one am glad that all that energy has been focused on helping me get better these last few weeks." He smiled up at him. "Thanks also for the tea and bread."

Girvan sat in the other chair and picked up the bread which he destroyed in two seconds.

"What were you like at my age?"

"Quiet, solemn, a loner ... not knowing where I fitted in."

"But you are a Colonel are you not?"

Sheppard nodded. "Lt. Colonel to be exact. Now. All I'll say is this Girvan, you will never know what's round that corner in life."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, what would you like to know?"

"Who is Teyla?"

Teyla.

Just to hear her name was like a gut punch.

"Teyla? Wh…why do you ask?"

"You shouted out her name a lot when you were gripped with fever. Sorry I did not mean to upset you." Girvan said, for he could see how visibly upset Sheppard was looking.

"No don't apologise. I am not upset. It's just, I miss her. She thinks me dead and I hate to have caused her that hurt. She is a member of my team and someone I love deeply." Sheppard looked wistful.

Trying to distract him, Girvan asked, "And Ronon and Rodney, they are on your team also? You mumbled their names at times."

Sheppard smiled. "Yes, they make up the rest of my team. I hope to get home soon and you can meet them."

But Sheppard felt he could not continue talking about them at present so just cradled his hot cup, trying to get some warmth into him again.

A comfortable silence fell between them as they ate their breakfast and after a few minutes Sheppard resigned himself to the fact that he was falling asleep, so let his heavy lids fall close. Girvan gently took the cup from his slack hand and stepped away from him to let him sleep. He would look forward to finding out more about the enigma that was Colonel John Sheppard later.

SGA SGA SGA

"Are you sure you want to go back?

Teyla took the hot cup away from her mouth before she could take a sip.

"You know I do Carson." She half scolded. "We have been over this."

"Allow your Doctor to worry hmm?"

Teyla looked at Carson over the rim of her cup as she took her first sip. "I will be fine, I have Ronon and Rodney with me, we all need to do this."

"Well you are going to have me join you as well."

Teyla was startled for a minute.

"You...you want to come too?"

"Well, someone has to identify the remains...sorry to say that."

Teyla felt the still too raw tears come to the corners of her eyes. "I never thought of that Carson." She then fell silent.

Carson grabbed her free hand. "I know you didn't love. Why would you? I've spoken to Woolsey about this and he has agreed I can go."

Looking up under her bowed face he continued, "That is, of course, if you want me to. I'll understand if it's a team thing."

Quick to placate him Teyla took his hand, "No. No...I would personally love it if you would come with us Carson. You are part of the team after all."

"Well in some manner, but you are very kind to say that lass. I miss that man of yours like I never thought possible you know."

Teyla looked up at him, this time allowing the silent tears to fall and Carson felt his stomach plummet.

"Och sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Now I've made you cry." He handed her a hanky.

"Seems like all I do is cry Carson. I thought I would be strong but...but it hurts so much. I think of all those years we wasted when we could have been together."

"It had not been right then Teyla. Time was cruel to yank him from you prematurely in your relationship though."

A touch on his shoulder and Carson looked up to see the worried face of Ronon look their way.

"Teyla?"

"I am ok Ronon. Listen, good news! Carson is coming with us to get John's ...em... body."

Instantly Ronon understood what had transpired between the two. "That's good Doc."

Carson nodded, knowing he meant it. "Tomorrow morning then?"

All three friends looked at each other.

"Tomorrow morning." Ronon repeated, suddenly feeling anxious about what they would find ... or rather what they wouldn't find.

Carson left the two friends talking and wiped a stray tear from his eye as he walked along the corridor to Rodney's room. He knew he would be in there having his breakfast on his own, as he had done every morning since that fatal morning. His solitary manner was draining his relationship with Jennifer and he seemed unwilling to talk to anyone about what had happened.

Woolsey had been generous with the time he allowed the heart broken team but had told Carson outright, that after the funeral, they would have to decide what positions they all wanted to take to move on. All, of course, were welcome to stay on Atlantis, although Rodney at one point mentioned he might go back to Earth leaving Teyla and Ronon looking hurt and unsure, but Rodney had quickly pushed his chair aside and stormed away back to his room, avoiding any more conversation on the matter.

So now Carson headed his way to tell him he was joining the mission, if that's what they called it, and be dammed, he had better like it.

Chiming the door Carson steeled himself but when Rodney shouted on him to enter, he went in quick and walked over to Rodney who was packing up his laundry.

"Are you ok this morning Rodney?"

"Yep. What are you doing here Carson?"

"I came to see you."

"I thought you would have been with Ronon and Teyla at this hour."

"As I, you, Rodney." But seeing a brief sadness flash over his eyes, Carson decided now was not the time to test out his friend's feelings so quickly coughed and sat on the bed.

"I erm, I came to say that as long as you three all agree, I would like to join you tomorrow...if that's Ok?"

Rodney tapped his head. "Genius remember. Somebody has to identify him after all. Took you long enough to come out with that request. I suppose you have talked to Ronon and Teyla and now you are here with me."

"Rodney, please? Tell me you are ok with it?"

Rodney sighed and surprised Carson by sitting down beside him on the bed nodding.

"Of course I don't mind. It's just...well you know, the thought of it Carson."

"I know son. I know."

The two friends sat for a good few minutes until Carson slapped his thighs and stood up.

"Right, I had better get organised."

Rodney just slightly reached out and touched his hip to which Carson patted his hand in return and strode out the room.

Carson looked to see if anyone was about and seeing he was alone, stopped walking and leaned back against the wall and put his right hand over his eyes, pressing into the corners and feeling the wetness there escape and roll down his cheeks. He wiped them with the sleeve of his coat and took in a jagged breath. Tomorrow would be hard going but he vowed to be strong for them all and hoped they would find his body and get closure so they could all move on.

SGA SGA SGA

Bartok solemnly and quietly took Clone John's vitals and tried not to show on his face that the results were troubling. He wiped his eyes, suddenly feeling moisture there and swiftly walked away from the clone so as not to betray his thoughts and feelings.

"You know, there was a time when I was excited about what the Wraith had been planning for me Bartok. The way Michael talked, well, I was caught up in it. The promises that came my way strengthened my resolve that I could serve a purpose…that I had a purpose." He stabbed his chest.

He got up from his chair and walked over to where Bartok was busy with his bag, keeping his back to him but when he felt a slight tug on his arm, he knew that clone John had witnessed his unease.

Clone John turned him round to face him. "But, Bartok…I am dying. I know that, you do not even need to tell me, I can see it in your face. You do not even try to buoy me up any more."

"John, I am sorry. Your organs are failing too fast for me to come up with any new medications that can help you. Save you." Bartok looked up at him at last and was surprised to find he looked quite calm and resigned to the fact that he would die soon.

"As I said, I used to think these things healer. Sheppard, he needs to get away from here. You need to check he is well."

"I know, but they watch me so closely, I cannot leave here to go to my cabin." Bartok now looked worried for another under his care.

"You must try Bartok. The snows have stopped and, perhaps you could get there now on some drier ground and not leave marks?"

"I don't know John. And I don't know if I should leave you!"

Clone John looked out the door to see if anyone was listening.

"Sheppard is your main concern now. You must go to him, help get him off this planet and away from here"

"You are frightening me John." Bartok noticed a determination in his face that he couldn't comprehend.

Clone John held onto his shoulders and squeezed him once.

"I will always remember how good you have been to me…"

"You have been good to me John, you could have given me up to the Wraith many times in the beginning when you realised I detested them, even though I knew you were half of one." Bartok interrupted him.

"It is only because I detest them as well Bartok. I did not ask for any of this so I have to leave now and go and hide somewhere until I … until I die. No, now stop..." Clone John held a hand up to Bartok to stop him talking further. "I have decided and you cannot change my mind. You have been like a Father to me and I thank you, but the time has come for me to end this."

Bartok closed his eyes but stepped forward and hugged the sick clone and felt his arms return the embrace. They stayed like that for mere seconds in case anyone should arrive, but looked at each other with genuine love as they stepped apart.

"I will leave in the light of early evening and hope to get to the cabin by dark. He must be needing more medications by now…if he survived the weeks I was unable to see him."

"I'm sure Girvan looked after him well, if he is anything like his Uncle.

Bartok smiled at last at the compliment and once more returned to his bag and packed it up before pulling out some folded thin card of white paper that looked very familiar.

"Here, take some of these strong pain killers. They will help you but use them sparingly as they are very strong."

Clone John took them and twirled them in his fingers nodding towards Bartok.

"When will you go John?"

"It's best I do not tell you of my plans. I am sorry."

"No, do not apologise to me. If only things had been different."

"I know. I know." Clone John gripped the white paper packets in a shaky grip.

"Go now my friend and safe travels. In case we do not meet again, I …"

Bartok put his hand up this time, "No, no…none of that, I won't have this conversation because I will see you again." But his hand fell heavily to his side so he picked up his bag and started to walk out the door.

"I have to go, I have taken too long this morning, and they will come for me soon to see what is keeping me."

Silence greeted him as he stepped out into the corridor, so he just stopped without turning back to look at him for a second and then continued on out into the long corridor, stifling a snob, knowing full well he probably wouldn't see him again. He had to concentrate on Sheppard now and that meant a risky trip through the woods to see him but he felt he was up to the task and patted his pocket where he could feel more of the packets of pain killers that he intended to keep for Sheppard, but hoped that he didn't need them. This evening, he would find out and as he walked past many Wraith and handed his bag back to one of them to be stored as usual, he hurried home awaiting the sun to start to set before he headed out on his journey. Once home, though, he bowed his head in his hands and let silent tears fall for the clone he had come to love and had failed to save.

Back in the compound, Clone John also bowed his head in his hands but did not let tears fall because he had finally decided what he wanted to do with his life and that was to end it for the sake of another. For he knew that by saving Sheppard, he had in fact, also saved the entire enslaved City. He knew that Sheppard, just like the John half of him, would come back with aid to rid the residents of the Wraith and possibly the science team back on Atlantis working with Bartok, could figure out a cure for the enzyme that tied them to the Wraith as they were at present. He had every faith in that. The Michael side of him remained under control but on occasion he would feel that side of him try to come to the surface and he could not allow that to happen. His hold on life was too precarious now. Today he would go and hide where no one could find him.

SGA SGA SGA

Salty threw his cup down on the table and made the other Wraith in his presence jump and then growl at the sudden noise. Realising he had an audience, but not wanting to draw attention to himself, he donned his long leather coat and purposely strode out of the lab he was standing in. He knew just by looking at Bartok as he had left the clone this morning, that his face had a purpose to it. What he was up to he did not know, but he would stay watching him all day and follow where he went. His Queen wanted answers to Sheppard's disappearance and he was pretty sure he was about to find out if his suspicions about Bartok's part in it were about to come true. He was patient, he would find out.

SGA SGA SGA

TBC