A/N: Well its been like two weeks ^^' But I did update. Some things are had to translate into fic but I did my best :D

CHAPTER TWELVE

SPAGHETTI TRAP AND DOG MARRIAGE

[HUMAN! PLEASE ENJOY THIS SPAGHETTI!]

[(Little do you know this spaghetti is a trap…)]

[(Designed to entice you!)]

[(You'll be so busy eating it…)]

[(That you won't realize you AREN'T PROGRESSING!)]

[(THOROUGHLY JAPED AGAIN BY ALFRED THE HERO!)]

[AHA HA HA – Alfred]

Romano sighs, rubbing his temple tiredly after reading the note. Having to do it aloud under the kids loud begging didn't help either.

"Che palle…"

"What does that mean?" Peter asks him, tilting his head innocently, having calmed down now Romano had read the note.

"UUUUUUUUUH nothing. Forget you ever heard it."

"Uhm. Okay…"

Romano sighs, walking over to the spaghetti only to find it was frozen to the table, only making it even more unreachable to the mouse. And, more importantly, impossible for him to take. He approaches the microwave, making a note of its location should he need it sometime… Only to realize that it was unplugged. And there wasn't anything to plug it into in the middle of the rocky pathway anyways.

Romano sighs tiredly before deciding to just move the hell on before he got an aneurysm.

"Hey Romano?" Koda looks at him with a grin and Romano rolls his eyes, knowing his tone and what it meant.

"What is it, kid?"

"You know what happens to monsters when you beat them up?"

"… What?"

"They paastaaa aawaaaaaay!" Koda grins, pleased with himself and Romano flashes him a fake smile.

(At least he didn't make the joke about Italians… Though I guess he probably doesn't even know what that is anyways.) The thought strikes him that he really was just 'human' to them with nothing more. Anything else about him really was… Out of context.

His attention is brought back to reality when he spots a strange sign… It's make rather familiar to what he'd seen before, even if what was written on it was far and away more absurd.

[*Warning: Dog Marriage]

After a moment of absolute bewilderment Romano decides to just move forward, putting his guard up as a sense of unease hit him.

"There's gunna be another puzzle ahead Mr. Romano. Better hope you… Snow what you're doing!" Kudo laughs at his own joke.

"Or we can just solve it for him." Edwynn states rather annoyedly.

"Thanks, but I got this. I don't need help from anyone." Romano finds himself in front of a space covered in tiny snowballs. He glances around, noting the spikes that kept them from moving forward. He pauses a moment before trotting over and kicking some of the snowballs out of the square. He pauses, realizing something was underneath the mass of snowballs.

"…. Help me kick these out of the way."

"I thought you didn't want help?" Peter asks, seeming surprised by the request.

"Like, hints or solving shit for me. Ugh… I can just-" He's stopped cold as Koda swoops down in a flurry of what had to be wind magic, clearing the space almost instantly.

"LIKE THAT?!" Kudo asks, beaming at Romano as he looks for approval.

"Uuuuuh. Perfect." Romano smiles awkwardly at the kid before turning his attention to the map, studying it for a minute before nodding to himself and heading back. Romano walks back to a side area he'd ignored before, a square mostly barren patch of ground. Romano walks to the center and crouches down, brushing the snow away to reveal a switch. He stands back up, stomping on it and hearing a click.

"So how's tha…" Romano stops as he looks back and doesn't see the kids but instead stops as he sees a dog in armor, wielding a sword and shield. The name Berlitz is emblazoned on the shield, giving name to what seemed like a fully armed Golden Retriever. The second they lock eyes they enter a fight, Romano starting to tremble, the odds seeming stacked against him. He swallows, looking around but not being able to see the kids through the tense atmosphere.

(Lil shits probably abandoned me again… At least, I hope they did… Fuck…)

Romano checks his ACT options, feeling a sinking sense that he wouldn't have many options.

To his surprise, the option screen was full of many options. He feels himself start to laugh as he realizes all of them were the option to PET the dog. The atmosphere starts to relax, the dogs' bright brown eyes sparkling with joy at the sound of laughter. The dog pants excitedly, tail going wild as it watches him with keen interest. Romano relaxes, feeling his fear subside. Somehow, he couldn't help getting the impression that the options available to him were the dogs own will reaching out in desperate hope that someone, anyone would give him pets. He tries petting the dog, its neck extending out as it barks excitedly at its hopes and dreams being so promptly fulfilled.

"Holy shit. You scared the life out of me. I thought you were gunna hurt me for a second there."

The dog shakes its head fervently, barking its answer at him. Romano pets the dog again, the dog straining to lean into it.

"You… Don't talk like that other bastard…. Do you?"

The dog leans back and shakes its head as answer again. And Romano realized something. The dogs' neck hadn't been stretched out. It had actually grown several inches.

He hears a chorus of giggles as the kids dash out from where they'd been hiding to join the FIGHT.

"I thought it'd be the other two!" Koda sounds relieved as he nuzzles at the dog's ankles.

"Who's a good boy! You are! You are!" Peter snuggles against the dog's side, beaming as he showered it with praise.

"Ooooooh no…." Edwynn murmured, standing clear of the oncoming fiasco.

Romano is stunned for a moment, still processing the dogs' neck having increased as suddenly it starts growing again, now at exponential speeds. The dog barks with frantic excitement, tail accelerating to incredible speeds while the kids all laugh at the sudden burst of absurdity.

In seconds the dog's head flies out of sight, whistling as it speeds off into the clouds. Romano reels back into the snow and screams from absolute terror, wondering if they'd just killed it. Even as he has the thought the dogs head suddenly turns and careens back down towards earth, taking all kinds of strange twists and detours on the way down. Romano checks the ACT area, hoping desperately to stop the madness only to notice the dog's name was now yellow. He goes back, desperately sparing the dog and bringing the moment to a halt.

The dog's head snaps back, retracting from all its manic progress, back in place as quickly as it had slipped out. The kids all roll in the snow laughing while Romano finds himself once again, lost. Lost for words, lost in his soul, losing his fucking mind at the insanity he'd been forced to witness. The dog turns, scurrying away as the kids collect themselves and regather around Romano.

"Well that was fun." Koda quips cheerfully.

Romano sputters incoherently while Peter nods pleasantly to Koda's statement.

"Always like running into Berlitz. Such a sweet dog."

"…. N… Neck… Fucking… Sky…. Dog w-with… A s-sword…" Romano stutters, arms wrapped around himself as tries to understand what the fuck had just happened.

"I guess these things don't happen where you come from, huh?" Edwynn asks him dryly.

"NO THEY MCFUCKING DON'T?!" Romano screeches, feeling ready to tear his own hair out.

Peter starts nuzzling his side while Koda presses his head into Romano's hand comfortingly.

"Come on mister! He's a nice dog! He'll be fine. He'll probably go talk about how much fun he had to the other dogs in town." Peter informs him soothingly.

"Yeah! And we got the puzzle down so we can move forward!" Koda reminds him cheerfully. Romano sighs, putting his head in his hands and rubbing his face before sighing.

"… Whatever… God… Damn… This place… Is…."

"We'll probably let you handle the other two though." Edwynn informs him, cutting him off rather coolly.

"They're just ahead. Shouldn't be too hard for you to get past them I think. You remember the smell stuff. And you're also very smart!" Koda tells him encouragingly. "You still gotta break the barrier after all! For your brother."

Romano feels his gut ache at the mention. (Spain… Vene… I gotta move forward. So what if things are weird and scary…. That just makes me wanna go home even more dammit!)

Romano takes a deep breath, straightening himself out before nodding to himself, even if he was still a bit shaken.

"Right… Let's go then." He then pauses a moment, frowning as he turned to Edwynn to ask a question. "Can you guys tell me a lil more about 'those two' at least? And why its two of them when there's only been one dog per station so far?"

"Well you see-"

"Can I join you guys?" Someone asked between a cough, Romano looking over in time to see a bulbous four legged monster wipe at its nose with the palm of its hand, watching them with squinty eyes. The entire group goes silent, even Koda letting out a quiet "ugh" at the monster's appearance.

"That's… Jerry." Peter murmurs, seeming uncomfortable.

"He's…" Koda tries to come up with something positive to say only to find he couldn't.

"That Guy." Edwynn says bluntly and Romano immediately knows what the kid meant.

"What are you guys talking about?" The creature starts shuffling for them and Romano, still done from the last encounter he had reacts viscerally to its approach.

"QUICK DITCH THE FUCKER!"

The group books it back down past the puzzle at top speed as Jerry calls after him, the kids all stopping before a bridge.

"Just remember: you roll around for the safe smell." Edwynn reminds Romano gently as he pat's the humans leg, being too tiny to do anything else.

"You got this!" Shouts Peter as he leaps into the air. "Quickly please!" He adds, glancing to where Jerry was shuffling off in the distance, slow and sure as a serial killer in a bad slasher movie.

"We believe in you!" Koda adds, dancing in the air around Romano energetically.

Romano sighs, shuddering from a mix of exhaustion and frustration.

"Here goes nothing." He then crosses the bridge, guard up and ready for anything.

He's quickly set upon by a pair of dogs dressed in black cloaks, the hoods pulled up inconveniently over their heads, each wielding an axe rather ominously. Romano freezes in fear on instinct as they dart around him, seeming to be looking for him without quite catching onto where he was. Eventually they settle, one on each side of him, staring hard at the spot where he stood.

"What's that smell?..." Asked the dog whose snout and tail made Romano think it could be a Shiba, standing to his left. It's axe bore the name 'Pochi'.

"Where's that smell?" Asked a feminine sounding dog standing to Romano's right. Its axe read the name 'Pelze' and a tempting amount of fluff stuck out from under its hood.

"If you're a smell…"

"Identify yoursmellf!" The dogs dart along, hunting down the smell again as they circle him before landing back in the same spots they had before at Romano's sides. With each moment they were dawdling around him, Romano was feeling less intimidated by the second.

"Hm… Here's that weird smell." Murmured Pelze. "It makes me want to eliminate…"

"… Eliminate YOU!" Snarls Pochi as they all get launched into a FIGHT.

[*Dogi assault you!]

The two dogs flip their hoods down, revealing they are both fluffy as hell. They take each other's hands, wielding their axes with their free hands, nuzzling one another as Romano scrambles to ACT. Romano sees the option to ROLL AROUND and does so, his body flinging itself down and rolling around frantically in the dirt and snow.

"Let's kick some human tail!" Pochi cries, lifting his axe.

"Do humans have tails?" Pelze mirrors her beloved's movement before both rush at Romano in unison. Romano screeches, darting underneath their axes as he scrambles through the snow. The two dogs dart, moving in unison to block his escape. Romano scrambles to ACT again, too vulnerable in the snow to FIGHT back.

"W-WAIT THIS IS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING A SNAPHU PLEASE JUST, WAIT, Y-YOU SMELLED WRONG I SWEAR I'M NOT HUMAN, I'M NOT HUMAN!" Romano cries out, the RESNIFF option selected as he whimpers at the dogs.

The pair pauses, glancing at each other before lowering their weapons and leaning over Romano where he lay sprawled in the snow. For a minute he tenses, trembling violently only for the two dogs to smile at him, letting their axes fall to the side.

"What a weird little puppy! Are they supposed to look like that?" Pelze softens, tilting her head gently as she surveys Romano with bright eyes.

"Dunno what else it could be, smelling like that…" Pochi mutters dubiously.

Romano watches the bullet board, taking a hard hit despite his best efforts to avoid danger. He'd seen more than once how someone could go after your soul even without hitting your body. He takes a deep breath as he gathers his courage. With every one of these dogs, petting had been the answer to his problems with them. (Guess that's to be expected with a bunch of dogs… Here goes nothing…)

Romano PET Pochi.

"Wow! I just got pet by another pup!" The dog seems bewildered, reeling a moment against Pelze with a pleasantly surprised expression.

"Well now don't leave me out!" Pelze laughs softly, nuzzling against Pochi's head.

Romano sighs and complies, petting Pelze as well on his next turn, starting to feel himself sicken from the damage his soul was taking in the meantime.

"Dogs can pet other dogs…. Amazing!" Pochi declares, seeming as though he'd just had a revelation. Romano rolls his eyes, seeing he can spare the two and doing so promptly.

The two dogs rise, Pelze pulling Pochi's hand up and placing it over her heart.

"A new world has opened for us now…"

"You have my gratitude, strange puppy!" Pochi barks as the two dogs head off down the trail, seeming at peace with all the world as they go.

A/N: I got out of quarantine last week... In time to get busy with getting for christmas ;w; I did more packing too...

Probably won't be moved this year like I thought but once the holidays pass I'll be good to do so.

Things haven't quite been the same since I had COVID but hopefully its going to get better soon . ...

Anyways, knocked out two mini boss encounters in this chapter w A couple more chapters left till forest is done!

Waterfall is started now! Going to keep working on that where I can! And keep sending y'all good vibes!

Idk what else to say so... In case I don't see you again before the holidays: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year :D